It is currently Thu Aug 17, 2017 3:30 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 17 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 3:08 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 3:53 am
Posts: 223
Hello everyone, I recently made an account on here after reading tons of threads. I decided I would go ahead and make an account since I felt like I could relate to a lot of different posts. After seeing this forum I thought I’d go ahead and share parts of my story. I am glad I found this forum because I can communicate to many others who are in the same situation as I am. This road to recovery has been a gift and I am very thankful that I am fortunate to be able to afford suboxone maintenance.

I am currently in college after graduating high school last year. I realize that I have a disease that is seen most commonly in older people but I understand that it’s just something that am going to have to deal with for my entire life. I may miss out on a lot of great memories through my college days and even parties. The trade-off is well worth it and living a much healthier life. I’ll try to not make it too long and focus only on the important parts.

The first time I ever used drugs was in middle school. Smoking weed was very accessible in my area, I started earlier than most people and had a lot of experience by the time I got to high school and everyone else became a part of it. I rarely drank because weed was easier to get. As time went on drugs became more accepted as more people started doing them. It wasn't before long when people started to do various pills like Xanax and sometimes even cocaine. This was very scary to me and I was scared of any hardcore drug. I was completely against them and was scared for my friends that took part in them.

The summer when I got my wisdom teeth taken out sparked a whole new phase in my life. I received 5mg perocets and I fell in love. I slowly finished the whole bottle without my parents knowing. I first started taking them orally until I discovered how much better snorting them were. I had a friend whose mom was prescribed painkillers and he would make some money selling them to me every couple of weeks. Even though I was told by friends how addictive painkillers were, I pretended like they weren't and was in denial. For about 6 months I continued this behavior all under the radar.

It wasn’t until I did oxycontin when I lost complete control. It was a lot easier to snort them than the oxycodone mixed with acetaminophen. It slowly became worse and I grew a tolerance. I drained my bank account slowly but surely. This behavior became into every day. I would blow all the money I earned from my job each week. My parents noticed this but couldn’t really prove anything. I started to get withdrawals when I didn't do any oxy and became a new person. My attitude and goals drastically changed. I only cared about getting high. I wouldn’t go to school unless I could get high first. I started pawning most of my possessions with value and would wait to go to school until the pawn shop opened. I would also abuse methadone, suboxone, and rarely heroin. I had no knowledge of suboxone at that time other than it got me high and no withdrawals. I would snort pills in the school all the time. Luckily I never was caught. My habit was around 60-90mg or as much as I could get my hands on. No matter how many pills I had I would always think about when they'll be gone.

I became in debt to many friends and had no way of paying them back. Most had no clue what was going on. After about a total of 2 years I came clean. I hated the lifestyle but also didn’t want to give up the high. When I would be high I would get very very talkative and honest. One day in school I was so high I called my dad and admitted everything. After getting information of treatment options I wanted to do either methadone or suboxone. I knew both got me high and was a controlled way of getting clean. I scheduled an appointment with a doctor I was recommended by a friend who was also seeing him. The following day I started treatment. I already had a tolerance of suboxone and luckily never once got high. My daily dose is 16mgs. I also did an intensive outpatient program which helped.

I now have about 9 months clean and feel great. Out of all my using buddies I’m the only one to receive help. I feel like even though I’m not completely clean I’m way better than if I was using. I don’t plan to be on suboxone treatment for too long but I just don’t want to risk relapsing. This was just a small part of my story so I wouldn’t bore everyone to death. Thanks a lot for reading this long post and I look forward to meeting you guys.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 3:24 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2011 9:45 pm
Posts: 833
hellow fireman'. and welcome to the forum. i think you are on the right track for recovery, and we are here for you.
your post means a lot to us" and i sean much longer one's :lol: please keep posting and moderators and others will
be here very soon to help you out with any questions or coments you may have to share with us. and again welcome.
JOHNBOY.

_________________
Humor is one of the best qualities in life of intelligents breeze1.wmv utube untitled 26 (2) utube just me and my music


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 3:49 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 3:53 am
Posts: 223
Thanks a lot John I'm happy to hear that. I meant to put this in the introduction forum by the way. I had 2 windows opened and clicked the wrong one. Sorry about that


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:48 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2011 9:45 pm
Posts: 833
ya fireman. but you gave a very good post to share , and i wish i could have this done a little younger. :( well :lol: congratulations.

_________________
Humor is one of the best qualities in life of intelligents breeze1.wmv utube untitled 26 (2) utube just me and my music


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 10:07 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hi fireman. I'm glad you found us and decided to join and participate.

You'd probably be surprised to find out addiction is extremely prevalent among younger people. It affects people of all kinds and from every level of society. You are NOT alone.

It's obvious from your story that you are a good candidate for suboxone and it sounds like so far you're doing well it. For now, I'd suggest not even thinking about when you'll be going off it. For now, concentrate on learning the tools you'll need when the time comes that you'll go without the sub. You'll need to break bad habits, learn new coping skills, maybe get into addiction counseling or maybe individual therapy. You'd be surprised the insight you'll learn about yourself from therapy. That alone can help you with your recovery/remission- with or without suboxone.

It's obvious from you writing skills that you're an intelligent young man and that will serve you well in life. You should be very proud of yourself for taking control of your life and getting the help you needed. Pat yourself on the back for that - you deserve it.

I hope you hang around the forum!

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:16 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:43 am
Posts: 893
Location: AZ
Welcome and congratulations! I agree with everything hat posted. You should be extremely proud of yourself for making such a responsible decision. Tackling this demon now while you are still young will allow you to have the life you deserve. If you work hard now and continue your new found sobriety the possibilities for your life are endless. Your parents must be extremely proud of you, I know I would be if you were my son.

I hope you continue to participate on the forum. The support and information here can be very helpful to your recovery. Again welcome and don't hesitate to ask any questions you may have.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:23 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 3:53 am
Posts: 223
Hatmaker and Breezy_Ann, thank you for your welcoming and I really appreciate your input. I couldn't agree anymore that getting clean at my age was so important and I’m so glad I was able to. Hatmaker, staying clean is one of the most important things to me, my life pretty much dependent on it. I really want to stay on suboxone for a while but the only knock to it is the side effects. Sure they are worth staying clean but at what point will I be able to recognize that I am ready to wean off? There was one point when I started to wean a few months ago, but I started to get minor cravings and wanted that protection. Ever since then I haven't really thought about when I’d wean off. There are a lot of tools like you mentioned that are important for sobriety, but being a college student is difficult to manage class and in the meantime learn coping skills. Not that I'm trying to rush anything, my question is, in your opinion based on my situation, what do you think a realistic period of time that would be necessary to continue on maintenance and do you think 16mg a day is too high?

P.S. I would have relpied sooner, but whenever I tried I was directed to a 403 Forbidden error message.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:21 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Yes, the forum is having some technical difficulties right now. Hopefully everything will be taken care of shortly.

I can tell you this about the studies that Dr. Junig has shared with us, and that's that young people are at a very high risk of relapse if they end short term suboxone therapy. By short term he means less than a year or two. He also feels the longer a person has been on it the more prepared they will be to live without the suboxone, thus their chances of avoiding relapse are better. But theories on this are varied and long term studies of suboxone are lacking.

As for 16 mg, dosages are very individualized, mostly due to what's needed for their cravings. But when it comes to side effects, often reducing one's dose will help. Just be on the lookout for increased cravings. You might have to make a decision between side effects and cravings - or come to a happy medium.

I hope this helps.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Dose
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:31 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:35 am
Posts: 2801
Location: Southwest
Hi Fireman and welcome here. It sounds pretty good what you are already doing so I wouldn't change much for awhile.

My opinion is to stabilize on a comfortable dose that removes your cravings. They won't last for too long and then you can wean down at that point. If they come back, your dose comes back up.

Just by not doing the rituals of drug seeking and using, your mind will start to heal and you should be on your way. My cravings stopped after a few months, mostly because I wasn't thinking about pain pills anymore. When you don't crave them you start to forget about them

So keep on the straight and steady and let the healing begin.

Hope you stick around.

Rule

_________________
Don't take yourself so damn seriously


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 6:54 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:43 am
Posts: 893
Location: AZ
When is it safe to begin tapering is the million dollar question. I'm not sure if there is really a right answer because this time line varies so greatly for all of us. I'm going to begin my taper very soon but if I run into any problems I have every intention of reassessing my situation. It's ok to have a plan but I think we have to be open to throwing that plan out the window if it is threatening our recovery. I guess I'm saying when you think your ready then give it a shot, if it's not going well it is not a failure to remain on sub.

Like Hat said, if you are having symptoms reducing your dose should help. I think Rule gave you some great advice. You can try lowering your dose, if you get to a point the cravings are coming back you can stop or go back up a bit. Then after some time has passed you can try lowering again.

I highly recommend reading thru the stopping sub section. There are a lot of taper threads with a ton of info that would benefit you greatly when your ready to taper. Congrats again on your success and I am glad you found us!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: great
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 7:07 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:38 am
Posts: 211
Fireman wrote:
Hatmaker and Breezy_Ann, thank you for your welcoming and I really appreciate your input. I couldn't agree anymore that getting clean at my age was so important and I’m so glad I was able to. Hatmaker, staying clean is one of the most important things to me, my life pretty much dependent on it. I really want to stay on suboxone for a while but the only knock to it is the side effects. Sure they are worth staying clean but at what point will I be able to recognize that I am ready to wean off? There was one point when I started to wean a few months ago, but I started to get minor cravings and wanted that protection. Ever since then I haven't really thought about when I’d wean off. There are a lot of tools like you mentioned that are important for sobriety, but being a college student is difficult to manage class and in the meantime learn coping skills. Not that I'm trying to rush anything, my question is, in your opinion based on my situation, what do you think a realistic period of time that would be necessary to continue on maintenance and do you think 16mg a day is too high?

P.S. I would have relpied sooner, but whenever I tried I was directed to a 403 Forbidden error message.


you are a very smart kid. congrats. most people dont get clean till they lose friends, houses. cars, armes, etc. the important thing is to not rush off bupe; that's the most common and detrimental thing many "newly clean 1st timers" do

just remember every relapse is worse and it's normal for opioid addicts to relapse MANY times. congrats and don't rush!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 8:44 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2011 9:45 pm
Posts: 833
i can understand people are more in to getting drugs today. and with the law fighting it ,people get it no matter what'.
my dishonesty with my parents was more to do with abuse and neglect that sent me in to using. i think the younger generation using drugs has to do with dealing with society more than trouble from there parents . and the wrong choice
in a relation ship with an other person on drugs ex- can build a dishonest relationship with there parents.
the very good thing is' being strong enough to correcting this relationship with your parents. this is a great accomplishment and keep it up? you are on the road to recovery.

_________________
Humor is one of the best qualities in life of intelligents breeze1.wmv utube untitled 26 (2) utube just me and my music


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 7:23 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2012 3:53 am
Posts: 223
I read the article that Dr. Junig posted about the high relapse rate with younger aged patients and found it extremely interesting. It also isn't something that surprises me too much because there is potentially more people that are experimenting with drugs that may cause a trigger in someone may be in recovery. Preparing yourself for these things is so important for somebody who chooses to go off suboxone. For some people it doesn't matter how much you prepare but if you sincerely don't want to stay sober and use then that's a choice that has been made prior to actually relapsing. This is a reason why I think so many younger people relapse. They think they can still use and get sober later, but in reality it becomes worse and worse like indigochild said.

That sounds like a really good system in order to find a proper you feel comfortable on. I commonly read people's posts on here about taking a dose under 6mg, which my doctor says a daily dosage that is under 12mg isn't safe, so I wasn't sure if 16mg sounded consistent or too high. I'm assuming those people are either tapering or that's their only option.

indigochild and johnboy, I easily could have gone, and was on, the same path as you described and have lost everything I had and everyone that was important in my life. I still know plenty of people who are on the road to losing everything. Getting sober just isn't a popular thing to do in people who want to live a party lifestyle. I am just glad that I have reached the point I have and the people in my life that have helped me get there.

Thanks everyone for your opinion and taking interest in my post. I greatly appreciate it!


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 2:32 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More

Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2011 6:05 pm
Posts: 253
I am in my late 20s, and became dependent around your age. Like you, Oxycontin really grabbed me. I was a bit older, but people tend to manifest these problems around age 18-21 (some says its because of a disease, others feel its other reason, for me it became easier to access). Its good that you are getting on Sub now. Suboxone was not really around when I was your age. While I never got as "bad" as I was when I was younger, I spent the majority of the next 10 years in a cyclical use pattern (off and On, Off and On). It was a major pain in the butt, and while I was still able to graduate from college and function, it did interfere with me. It also played a wreck on my emotionally. When we start to use, we really stunt our emotional growth. I am just learning how to deal with things without using now...

Best of luck to you. Stay around this board. Try all sorts of things and figure out what works for you. If you think it will help, make a vow to stay totally clean for the next 3 or 6 months. Set goals for yourself. As a younger person, its hard for many of us to think (I will never have a beer or puff again). Right now, that is not important. Just focus on taking those baby steps towards getting yourself on track.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:30 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster
User avatar

Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2011 8:46 pm
Posts: 158
Wonderfully put stephent

_________________
Wishing you the best in love and life. Finallyachance.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 12:15 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2011 9:45 pm
Posts: 833
you got it Firmen". you will fly to the high point of life. people are looking down the wrong road thinking party life is going
to make them grow :lol:

_________________
Humor is one of the best qualities in life of intelligents breeze1.wmv utube untitled 26 (2) utube just me and my music


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 4:08 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 28, 2011 3:10 pm
Posts: 25
Good for you Fireman. I am so impressed with a person your age being able to come clean to parents and getting help. Your life will go so much farther as a result. I have only been on subs for about 7 months. I try not to think about when I can get off of them, and worry more about just staying on the road to sobriety. ( And I am a tad older than you, .lol) I sometimes wonder with people who really want off of them quick... Whats the rush? I know they may have more sideeffects than I do, but I just think about how life was when I was chasing the high, and those are some side effects I NEVER want to feel again. So for me, I think, don't rush. I only want to do this one time. I am going to take my time and do it right.
Good luck to you and welcome.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 17 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group