It is currently Mon Aug 21, 2017 12:25 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: That Icky Feeling
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 8:47 pm 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2011 7:27 pm
Posts: 3
Hello,

Induction was yesterday; I got little sleep. I’m on 12mg but can have 16mg if I want. However, my Doctor said “less is best”, and if I feel I can get by with only 8mg then do so. I tried Sub before when I really wasn’t ready to purge my brain; things didn’t work out well. No one I know is on Suboxone. Then again I’m not sure anybody knows for sure when or if they are ‘truly’ ready? However, if you’re incarcerated or dead, well, then you’ve probably waited just a bit too long… (please don’t take offense to that comment). Please read on; this is very important.

There’s a feeling that I really want all your feedback on, it’s one that I find very difficult to put into words but here goes. I call it my icky feeling, everybody looks at me cross-eyed like I’m nuts; but, I a suspicions that at least one of you know what I mean and can educated me. And I mean I’ll take anything from the… “yeah man that sucks, it took at least a month before it went away for me”, to “let me discus the workings of the brain and how opioids give you that feeling… receptor this, synapse that, partial agonist this… blah, blah, blah”. I don’t mind that, I like everything from the simple to the point to the real in-depth as to what chemically is happening to me. Everyone is welcome and entitled to their opinion!

Okay. I’ll throw out the word ‘anxiety’. And add to that ‘agitation’. There’s a lot of fear, but I have no real reason to be afraid? The world is somehow too clear and noises are bigger and louder than they should be; I guess that one I can grasp. I can’t seem to sit still; I’m lacking something but can’t put my finger on it. Time feels different, there’s “way too” much of it, the damn clock is running so slow. There’s just that constant thought in my mind that something just isn’t right. I guess you could say it’s just Anxiety, but, somehow it’s different. And add to that a 110% for sure feeling that if I were to take a full-on narcotic all that ikcyness would just ‘melt’ away and life would seem normal again. I feel like I can’t stand it another second, yet I somehow know in my soul that this route is my only true route back to life. The pill chasing, the counting (and recounting), it’s just existence… and who stole my regular brain? I don’t know, maybe I could sum it all up in one word, I have one but would rather hear from all of you to help me put this in perspective. But more than anything, how many hours, days, week, months, etc. does it take to Go Away? How will this whole thing play out as the days seem to crawl along endlessly?

Thank you all. I look forward to your experiences… and yes there is a little edge to some of my comments but I’m a little bit edgy myself right now myself. Please take no offense.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Induction
PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:40 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:35 am
Posts: 2802
Location: Southwest
It took me just about two weeks to level out, but everyone is different. Give it some time and see how you feel later on. Then go back and read your post and see how much has changed. At least I hope it does, for the better.

Congrats on your recovery.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:04 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hi sub and welcome. This is my take on how you're feeling. For some of us we were in active addiction for YEARS AND YEARS. That's a really long time to not feel anything, as in emotions/feelings. It's my opinion that you are now dealing with a barrage of emotions that you haven't dealt with or even experienced in quite some time. That is what I think you'll need to adjust to. For me, I intentionally used in order to numb my emotions due to major traumas in my life. So I chose to continue seeing my therapist after starting suboxone so he could help me through all of it. And of course it's helped me greatly. Now obviously not everyone goes out to intentionally use opiates to dull or erase their emotions, but some of us do. The thing is though, even if it's not done intentionally, it's usually the end result regardless. It's my opinion that now you need to start figuring out a way to experience your emotions in a healthy way. Do you ever journal at all? Would you be willing to try it? And think about seeing a therapist. If you're not sure and want to think about it, I'd suggest journaling in the mean time.

I hope this helps. And remember, this is only the way I look at it.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 9:42 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Hey Sub.Divisions,

It is true, some of us have a harder time adjusting to Suboxone than others. I still am not clear on the reasons why, but I do think it has something to do with switching over to Suboxone from our Drug Of Choice (I know DUH, right), what I meant to say is I think that you're experiencing some withdrawal from your DOC. I seem to notice that people who switch from Methadone to Suboxone have a particularly difficult time, Methadone is so long acting and seems to stick to the opiate receptors pretty good and it's like Suboxone has a harder time knocking the remaining Methadone off of the receptors??

I don't think you were on Methadone, but that's really not that important, the remains of whatever opiates you were taking are now being driven off of your receptors. Those receptors were used to full-agonist opiates and now they have a partial agonist opiate in their place. Most people do great right off the bat with a partial agonist (Suboxone), while others, not so great. From what I've read from others who have been in your position, it just takes a little time to stabilize.

Lastly, you may need to up your dose?? I went from around 150mg - 200mg of Hydrocodone per day to 16mg of Suboxone and I hit the ground running man. Just something to think about.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:00 am 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2011 7:27 pm
Posts: 3
Thank you for all your posts replies, I have already read them and will continue to do so in the future. So, no matter the size I will read it and reply. I still hope to get new members with different and abundant experiences. Today really sucked bad this is day 3 for me. While the icky’s started to dissipate they were replaced with an insidious feeling of Depression. That is Depression with a BIG D.

I’ve had the disease of Depression in the past on and off for the last 30 years, so I’m no stranger to it…. But this one is Cruel; very deep and seemingly endless…. I’m wondering if anyone has ever wrestled with a preexistent Depression in the past and then ended up on Sub. Has going on Sub helped with your Depression, made it worse? Or you saw no change at all…

Take care...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Quick reply,
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:23 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2011 3:03 am
Posts: 9
Location: Australia
It seems people are often started on Sub too early after last dose of full agonist - be it oxy or hydro or methadone. You really have to be in early stages of w/d to start Sub. If the previous opioid was a long half life like methadone, I'm thinking 36 to 48 hours. Otherwise precipitated w/d will happen, and that's a nasty and counterproductive way to start. Go the whole 16mg of Sub if you need it. That was my experience. And then you will at least be dealing with a clear head, which involves anxiety and a sudden realisation of your surroundings you may not be quite ready for, quite frankly. Get rid of that damn headache. Water, stay away from heat, rest and something for the stomach. Ginger tea, soda bi-carb, whatever works. I used maxolon. If you can use Tylenol and aspirin, all the better. Ibuprofen isn't good for a stomach, and raises b.p in a lot of people. If the w/d continue, it will go away. Just a nasty few days, but nothing like other w/d's. Gastro-stop for the diarrhea maybe. It seems to me that most of the horror stories of induction have been a result of incorrect starting time of sub. 16mg a day, in the morning, and you will go from sleep less to sleep more. Depression might be a abit of a shock at first - I have suffered from recurring depresion since I was sixteen. Major clinical psychotic episodes for 25 years. Good for a couple of years, then bam - I'm a useless S.O.B for six months to a year. Do everything you can to ward off depression. Gym, therapy, whatever. Some people find Sub actually a good med for depression - I did. Took a few weeks, and I'm on Paroxetine as well. But I still get the black dog following me around some weeks at a time. Just don't feed it with bullshit inner dialogue etc. I have no regrets going onto Sub, except it limits my pain relief options sometimes when I have accidents, or my bone pain plays up. Keep seeing the doc to get your dose right. There are Moderators on this site who really know their stuff. Goo luck, and just take it easy for a while, ok? It's not a race. :wink:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:46 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:59 pm
Posts: 1039
I'm with Romeo, I think I lot of what you are feeling is withdrawal related. While Sub eases the worst of the flu like symptoms, it's not a cure all for withdrawal. Your DOC is still leaving your body, causing much anxiety, but it will probably be a lot better by the end of week one.
Now the depression...some people say that Sub helps their depression. But for people like you and me who have suffered major depressive episodes, Sub is not enough. I am on an antidepressant, as I believe a lot of folks here are. You may need one. Like Hat said, a lot of emotions are going to come flooding in now that you're not high all the time.
Hang in there . We're all pulling for you. And don't be afraid to get help for your depression if it continues to be bad.
Lilly


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:25 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 5:08 am
Posts: 1503
Sub.D - it sounds like you've had some mental health problems which I can relate to. I've had some pretty bad depressions, even psychoses in the past, which led to me being diagnosed with bipolar. Mostly the reason I used opiates was because of exactly what you said - all the anxiety and ill feelings just dissolved. I'm partly of the belief (don't take this the wrong way anyone) that a person has to be in some kind of physical or emotional pain or discomfort to feel any real relief from taking opiates.

It's strange, but if you didn't tell me you were on suboxone, pretty much everything you said sounded like PAWS - the social anxiety, the feeling like the world's really raw. But since you're on Suboxone, like Romeo said, all I can guess is that you're suffering some kind of withdrawal from your DOC still, or Suboxone may not be strong enough an agonist to relieve the pre-existing anxiety / depression that you used your drug of choice for relief.

Give it some time. Suboxone is relatively stimulating compared to other opiates, so bear that in mind. Try taking your Sub in the morning, in case it's the Sub that's keeping you awake. And look into non-medical ways to deal with the anxiety first like meditation, reading, exercise, before resorting to medications.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:53 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2011 9:45 pm
Posts: 833
Hi sub.divisions. i'm on subs for 15 months 16mg. i do have the feelings that you have, and they really suck and scary.ya"sickness from adiction will make life hard to explain!
and believe what every one is saying. i do worry about the depression". i'm not to possitive on how my other meds are working well with suboxone. i also think after some time the depression will start to less,and on and off? your feeling that slow time right now". but it will go away soon. i had that feeling at the beginning of subs, and now i feel like everything is going to fast" in a strange way! :lol: does any body get that feeling of "were did the day go" or don't remember when they woke up in the morning? i'm sure this is all the opiote and suboxone use through out the years. you will feel better! like every one said" you will ajust to the medication. thanks and welcome . please excuse me,on how i put my words together". i'm still not doing well on my medication. thanks


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:57 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2011 9:45 pm
Posts: 833
Hi sub.divisions. i'm on subs for 15 months 16mg. i do have the feelings that you have, and they really suck and scary.ya"sickness from adiction will make life hard to explain!
and believe what every one is saying. i do worry about the depression". i'm not to possitive on how my other meds are working well with suboxone. i also think after some time the depression will start to less,and on and off? your feeling that slow time right now". but it will go away soon. i had that feeling at the beginning of subs, and now i feel like everything is going to fast" in a strange way! :lol: does any body get that feeling of "were did the day go" or don't remember when they woke up in the morning? i'm sure this is all the opiote and suboxone use through out the years. you will feel better! like every one said" you will ajust to the medication. thanks and welcome . please excuse me,on how i put my words together". i'm still not doing well on my medication. thanks


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Anxiety
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 6:54 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2011 5:42 pm
Posts: 27
Hello Sub! Welcome to the "New World",

I totally feel where you are coming from. From the loud sounds, to the dragging days, but most of all I am all about feeling the Anxiety right now.
I have been on Suboxone for a little over a month now. Started on 12 mg and that is where I am still at right now. But to be honest with you I don't think I am on the right dosage. See after about 3 weeks on the sub I had mixed feelings about this medication. Yes it took away the wd's and I didn't feel like crap in the morning like I did when I was on 200 mg of oxycodone a day for back pain, and it did make me feel good for about 2 weeks, but then you hit the ceiling effect and all that goodness goes away. And here is where you come to realize, did I make the right decision to go this route, or is there something else I could do to ease my pain. And the answer is, you did the right thing.
Right now I am going through some life lessons that this medication has brought upon me. And it is called Anxiety! I had it way before I started Suboxone, and I will probably have it after I am done too, and it is a bitch! Right now i cant make it through the day w/o having a panic attack! I cant lay down to try to rest it off, and when I think about going outside for a walk I get so scared I will pass out in the street, that I don't even venture out the front door. I know its the medication and that its going to take time for my body to heal from the opiates I put into it, so I kinda tell myself its my body punishing me back for hurting it for so long. And I try to deal with it. Simple breathing exercises, walks around the house, watching a favorite show on tv, anything to get your mind off the situation at hand. But I have also found that Propranolol, prescribed by a Dr, is a great help too. I have only been on it for about a week, but the attacks have been 1/2 as bad as they used to be. They are not gone, but 1/2 the misery is, and eventually 100% of the attacks in a few months. Propranolol is a beta blocker that helps slow down your blood pressure that causes heart palpitations. Talk abot a miracle drug, and non addictive at that!
So I hope you start feeling better soon Sub. I am in the same boat you are in and hopefully soon we will both see the light at the end of the tunnel! Stay positive, and good luck!

RMAD

_________________
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 7:22 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Sun Dec 06, 2009 4:12 pm
Posts: 78
I think what you are feeling is normal for just coming off an opiate. For me, they pretty much blocked all feelings. While the suboxone helped with so much of the withdrawal, those feelings started to come back and the anxiety and agitation came with it. I think the very worst of it will ease quickly. For the first two weeks, I was always reaching for my pocket for those opiates that I knew could take away anything unpleasant. It gets better, and fast. I do agree that less is more with suboxone in the long run, but when I first started I was advised to take as much as I needed. I was on 24 mgs the first month, but quickly and painlessly dropped that dose down to the 8 I am at now. I still want to taper down, but that's for another post.

Having said all that, I have been on subs for 15 months, and I STILL have days like what you are describing. They are much fewer and far between, and I know how to manage them now. But my opinion is that is my natural state. Whether it's hormones, depression, or who knows what. I believe it's the reason I started to use to alcohol and drugs in the first place, to get rid of those damn feelings.

I don't mean to depress you, there is so much hope for you now that you are on suboxone. Just hold on and keep talking, it will get better!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 3:27 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 25, 2011 6:14 pm
Posts: 269
Location: Petoskey, MI
I know I am probably late with this post, but its about time that I don't hear how great things are right off the bat. I felt the same as you, anxiety , fear, didn't know what to do with myself. Thankful that it only lasted a week. I also cannot take less than 20 mgs a day, divided into 3 doses per day. I would love to do it once, but I must have a high metabolism . I also weigh 100 pounds.?


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject: A different perspective
PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 4:16 am 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster
User avatar

Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:26 pm
Posts: 156
Location: Northern California
Hey sub. First off I'm bummed that your having issues with the suboxone. On the other hand it shows promise that you found your way here and asked for help. I am new on subs after failing with them in the past as well. The way you described your symptoms (icky, slow time,etc.) sounds awful familiar to me. I induced 7 days ago with 32mg on day 1 and 2. I am now on day 7 on 6mg a day. Day 1&2 for me felt just like yiu describe. I was miserable, thinking i had precipitated w/d, when in fact I was just taking wayyyyy too much suboxone. I can't emphasize enough just hiw potent this stuff is. Less is more. After dropping my dose to 4mg in the morning and 4mg at night, all the shit feeling went away. After two days i dropped to 2mg and 2mg. I posted this because I didn't read this theory on any other post so thats why I chimed in, but if your still not feeling better than maybe it's worth a shot...prodigy out.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group