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 Post subject: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 1:53 pm 
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I don't know of any effort to connect Thanksgiving to recovery, but we should probably note the connection. Anyone who has been through treatment knows the importance of an 'attitude of gratitude' to keeping one's sobriety on sound footing.

When we were using, we developed different habits and perspectives. We were looked down upon, and we let people down. More than that, we let ourselves down. Our fear and shame turned into depression or anger. We became cynical and short-sighted. Many of those attitudes change over time, but they can be re-ignited when we are in the presence of family, especially if we have been away from family for a long time.

With that in mind, I encourage people to try to keep in mind the things they are grateful for. That attitude takes away the anger and resentments, almost immediately. Holidays with family are not the time to fix problems, and I'd encourage everyone to politely decline to talk about the past, and instead enjoy the turkey.

As for myself, I'm grateful for the people here. I've been wrapped up with too many things this fall and so I haven't been writing as much as I would like... I took the Boards in Addiction Medicine last month, and I'll find out in January how things went. I keep coming across interesting things to post... there is good news on the addiction front since ASAM finally decided to approach addiction as a chronic medical illness that warrants treatment, including treatment with medication. APNP's gained the ability to prescribe buprenorphine several months ago. Stigma seems to be slowly decreasing, as more and more people know someone who died from opioids.

I sometimes worry that things will swing too far the other way, and people will have to suffer in pain needlessly because of fear of opioids. I saw this study today: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/article-abstract/2661581

In short the study looked at about 400 people with 'acute extremity pain' and found that ibuprofen combined with acetaminophen reduced pain as much as oxycodone or hydrocodone. The problem with this and similar studies is that there are benefits to opioids in the ER that extend beyond pain relief. Simple pain relief is perhaps enough in the case of minor injury. But a person whose leg is crushed in a car accident deserves the calming and mood-supporting effects that only opioids provide.

I'll stop for now..... just wanted to wish readers, visitors, regulars, and our moderators a Happy Thanksgiving!


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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:36 pm 
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Happy Thanksgiving Dr. Junig & everyone else here on the forum! I hope it's enjoyable for everyone especially to those that will be experiencing their first Thanksgiving out of active addiction in awhile. I hope ur as appreciative of it as I was after suffering through many years of dreading Thanksgiving because of withdrawal and facing a family that I'd done some pretty shady things to. Being able to show up bright and clear headed (and actually with an appetite) is such an amazing feeling.

Instead of looking forward to Thanksgiving each year, I'd dread it when I was in active addiction. I'd have cravings, even if I had something to take that morning, the cravings were always there. If I didn't have anything, I was always afraid I wouldn't be able to eat and of course I worried my dealers would be MIA because it was Thanksgiving! It was always more stress during the holidays for me during active addiction.

Since I don't worry about using, this will be another wonderful day that I look forward to. I help my mom each year because my family gathers at her house. Me, my fiancé and my children, my brother and his family and of course my mom and dad. There is usually someone missing though and that's my 25 yr old nephew who is in active addiction and has been since he was 16. Some years he shows up but this year I worry he won't because in the last month or two he's lied for money from my dad and my fiancé. I'm assuming to avoid facing them he won't attend our dinner. The irony in that is that almost 6 years ago I was in that same predicament, so I fully understand his actions.

It's definitely a weird position to be in, when I see someone in active addiction, even though I truly feel for that person, I can't help but remember my circumstances when I was using and feel very grateful that I'm out of that misery. But when that's ur family, it's hard to understand what ur feelings are. I just want to help everyone that's still in active addiction. I want to save them or talk to them and tell them that life can be peaceful again...... so I'm grateful this Thanksgiving but I'm also so sad for the ppl that won't get to enjoy it.

I've rambled enough, I just wanted everyone to know that I'm wishing u all a VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 9:12 pm 
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Hi Jennifer,

What a beautiful post.

I know exactly what you mean about holidays and wondering if you will be in withdrawal and people don't understand what's wrong with you. I remember one Chrstmas Eve(we Cubans celebrate on the 24th.). I ran out of pills. We went to my cousin's, where the whole family was together and I felt terrible. Oh my goodness, I kept sipping wine & drinks and I knew I had reached the lowest point in my life when I went upstairs to the bathroom and looked through the medicine cabinet. This was my family that loved me since I was born. We are a very close family and I love them. I started crying in the bathroom because of what I had done. I don't want anyone else to go through that desperation.

Whenever I sign in, I check Chat. Someone named Apple was there but had left. He/she was desperate and asking how to get to us. I left a message on how to connect with us. I hope they return and see it.

I pray that no one has to suffer during the holidays. Jenn, I also wish I could reach out to everyone too and help them and let them know they can enjoy the holidays and can have a peaceful life.

Well guys, I love you all and I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. Bless you all.



Love, Queenie


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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 10:42 pm 
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Humility and gratefulness are the backbone to happiness in recovery. The best days are the ones that
I remember these. Not always easy.
My grateful list is loug and in it is this forum.
Thanks for posting Doc, Queenie and Jenn. :D

Raz....


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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 10:21 pm 
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:D LOVE YOU, RAZOR


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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 1:20 pm 
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Well said Dr. Junig and Razor! An attitude of gratitude keeps a person feeling content.

I have so much to be grateful for it would take up too much room. My life after cancer has been the best possible. We were able to travel and see sights I never thought possible. Good things came our way and I'll be forever grateful.

This forum is one of the best benefits of life and it doesn't cost anything. The members most seem to want to help the new addicts learn how to live a new and better life.

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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 1:58 pm 
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This is my first post after being absent for a few weeks. Another wave of depression hit me along with pain and illness and it was just extremely hard to be here. I felt like I had nothing to offer.

In late October I started experiencing major dental pain on the right lower side of my jaw. I knew that I had a cavity underneath the crown on my molar all the way in the back. Meanwhile, the matching molar on the left side had broken off in September. That tooth was dead though, having had a root canal some years back. I was left with some jagged pieces on that side, but not enough to really bother me. I stuck it out with ibuprofen, hoping the root would settle back down and grant me some extra time. Nope!!! When the dentist drilled the cavity out, there was barely any tooth left to rebuild into a crown. So I had him pull that tooth and the opposite tooth that had broken off.

Problem solved, right?? I wish! The truth is that I have a hinkey nerve on the right side of my lower jaw. I had root canals on that side before and 4 days later I came down with Bell's Palsy, which is facial paralysis. The right side of my face was paralyzed. Not only does it make facial expressions look super weird, but you lose your ability to blink on that side of your face. It took 3 months for my blink to come back! Anyway, the nerve on that side kept acting up and I was still in pain a week and a half later! Fortunately, something came along to make me forget the pain in my jaw!!!

It was Jacob! I went to get him from college because he was sick. Two days later I had influenza!! At the worst point, my fever was 102.8 and I thought that I might die. I could barely move. It took a week to recover and I still have residual phlegm. (Don't you think Residual Phlegm would be a good name for a punk band?)

At this time, on the 9th of November, my older dog stopped moving around. He would only stay curled up on his dog bed unless we brought him outside to pee, and he threw up everything he ate. He was only getting water down. Tuesday, the 14th we took him to the vet, learned that he most likely had either internal bleeding or a tumor. It was probably a tumor that was blocking his intestine. He had no quality of life left, so we chose to put him to sleep. My husband and I were sobbing and crying during the entire time at the vet. My husband held him as he received the fatal dose of anesthesia.

The previous Sunday I was in an argument with some online friends and non-friends. I got kicked out of a facebook group, and was in a chat with a few of the people who disagreed with me, so I felt like I was being kicked while I was down. That's the worst week I've had since my best friend Scott died in October of 2016, and the anniversary of his death was what kicked off my most recent depression anyway.

Having told you all of that, I started feeling much, much better this past Saturday when Jacob came home for Thanksgiving break. Having him here makes me look forward to Christmas and being with extended family this week is helping my frame of mind. We are finding a new dog to rescue so our 7 year old dog doesn't feel lonely. My 1985 dishwasher finally broke, so I got to pick out a new one, plus a new stove, which is also circa 1985! I'm ready to feel better. I really am.

Why did I tell you all these crappy things on a thread about gratitude?? Because I'm finally feeling gratitude. I'm finally back on track to move forward in my life. This Thanksgiving I am truly grateful for my family, my recovery, my existence on this earth. I hope that you all are also feeling positive about your prospects, your family, your health, and your ability to love your fellow people.

I am grateful for this forum. For my fellow mods, who know me better than most. I'm specifically grateful for Rule, who told me to take my time, who commiserated with me about the death of my dog, who is the glue that holds this place together. I'm grateful for Jenn, who I can always count on to be here when I'm not. For Michelle and her positivity. For Razor and his ability to understand this disorder and what it does to us, and for always making me smile.

I am grateful for several of our regular posters, and I know I'm going to leave out some important members because I'm doing this from memory, and my memory is not so very good. I'm grateful for TeeJay, who offers a perspective that is invaluable to me. For Queenie, who provides such warmth and love. For Open MInd, who I count as a good friend. In fact, the only problem I have with OM is that I wish I've had more time to get to know him! Lillyval, I'm grateful for your longevity and your continued honesty about wherever you are in your journey. For Pelican, I'm grateful for your knowledge, your willingness to provide well-researched information, for your intelligent perspective and humor. I know I'm missing people, so I will edit this post to add them as my memory is jogged. Please don't feel any less because my memory is crappy, ok?

Dr. Junig deserves his own paragraph. The level of trust that he has in me makes a real difference in my life. I've sent him emails in the past explaining why I wrote something, or asking his guidance when I am unsure. But at every turn he has given me confidence in myself by not only affirming my opinion or information, but by having this expectation that he doesn't have to watch over me. The fact that he trusts my instincts makes me feel very good about myself. I'm sure that he hasn't agreed with everything that I've written here and we don't always see eye to eye on issues that don't often come up here on the forum. However, he has had a very large impact on my life, my career choice, and my belief in myself. He wrote the recommendation that helped me get into graduate school. I am grateful for Dr. Junig for more reasons than these, but these are the personal reasons.

Thank you for all for helping to make this forum the wonderful place that it is.

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:00 pm 
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I'm bummed that this thread has not been seen more! Should we change the category to Stopping Suboxone? Lol!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:21 pm 
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I am too Amy. Lets bump it up shall we. Surely there has to be more...

Amy you are a real survivor. An example of how life goes and NOT picking up drug or drink to battle the pain of it all.
Dental pain,wow, Ive not had to deal with it since getting cleaned up. Tuffing that out is a mark of strength in my book.
Bells Palsy is frightening, never had it but have watched friends and customer's go though it. Cant be fun .
Lossing the dog now that s something I have experienced clean. Just last year in fact. Such a special type of pain lossing them. So very hard to let them go, even when it has to be done for there own good. We do have a new Golden now , very grateful for her. It is part of it all, the contract we make with them. To love them to the end as they loved us. Hopeing you and husband find a new one one day. Very sorry for your loss there man.. :)
I really liked your post because it is proof that we can do well AND learn to be grateful under the hardest of times.
Thanks for shairing all of this. Just know it did Me alot of good and made think about everything today.


Razor


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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 11:23 pm 
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razor55 wrote:
I am too Amy. Lets bump it up shall we. Surely there has to be more...
Razor


And don't call me Shirley!!!!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 12:26 pm 
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Haha.. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2017 10:53 am 
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I've been absent for a while, but still around and kicking. Just so much stuff going on with family things. It's not been the best year for us, mostly thanks to a family member..one in particular. Financially, we've been put under a burden that we weren't accustomed to, and finally had to have a sit-down and tell this person "look...you're costing us...you're living with us, and we need you to pull your own weight."

After 1 1/2 years, that finally got across and we started getting a little financial help. Notice I said "a little"...
Then that person found a place and moved out...so we're trying to get used to just being "us" again.
I've had to deal with this family member for years. Started out with being forced to take custody when I was 24..and this family member was 13. It was problems for many years...and court battles.
Partially, this crap pushed me into drinking, then into pills. I wanted to escape all the bullshit and the problems...and drinking was my method. After drinking ..I began playing with pills and got started into that life of nothingness.

At any rate, that's all the past...but the past has some bearing on the future, and I'm trying to be quiet and keep a peaceful family and attitude...it's just hard to do when you're getting swamped. I know one day it'll be appreciated...and one day it'll be seen as how much good we did...but this is our last few years of having kids at home. We want to create our memories with our youngest child and enjoy her for all that we can...since she is the last baby. And our oldest child, my 16 year-old daughter, will be starting college soon...

Maybe things are headed to a better place...especially with the holidays coming.

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DOB: July 1, 1985
October 8, 2013

RIP little brother. Gone, but not forgotten.


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 Post subject: Re: Thanksgiving!
PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2017 1:49 pm 
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I certainly hope life is going better for your family really soon, Jonathan. I know the family you are talking about and it's a pretty big slap in the face for her to move out just as soon as the free ride is over. I wouldn't blame you for feeling used by the person.

I know that you are thankful for your wife and children. I think it's bound to turn around for you. If you read my post you know that I know what it's like to feel down and stuck. Do you think you could get more contract work? With the little one in school now, you have the opportunity to do some more work. I think that earning a paycheck would make me feel vastly better, and maybe you feel the same way.

I'm glad you're back and posting! We've been missing you regulars!!

Amy

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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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