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PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 6:24 am 
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How's it going? Just a quick hello thought I'd introduce myself. I'm starting on suboxone treatment tomorrow and at the moment am cold, shaking my ass off trying to hold off from using so to not precipitate withdrawal tomorrow morning.

Quick history? 11 years of using heroin. First "cap" I used at 16 years old which I found on the ground at a busy intersection downtown. Very quickly it became my reason to live.

Also have dual diagnosis issue (bipolar - one time thinks-he's-Jesus in a psych ward type). Been on bupe, methadone & suboxone a few times with mixed success. Methadone probably "held" me the best but the fact I can't remember anything from the periods I spent on it kind of turns me off going back on it. Plus the 6 month detox. The last 3 years I've been frantically trying to get clean, mainly using 12 step programs and rehabs. My longest period of abstinence was 13 months after doing a "geographical" and 6 months stint in a very full on therapeutic community. Most recently relapsed after 6 months clean. Sick of people saying I need to "surrender" (whatever that means) Needless to say, I'm over institutions. Just want to get on with my life. Get a job, do some study, find a nice girlie, have 2.3 kids and a white picket fence. Will stay on suboxone for life if need be. I'm just over who my addiction turns me into and the loneliness & depression.

Hopefully the issues I've had that prevented me from staying on suboxone don't happen again this time ( see side effects forum ).

Anyway I hope that I'll be in touch with you guys for a while, and can share my experiences in the months / years to come.

T.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:00 am 
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Welcome to the forum! We're so glad you found us. It sure sounds like you're good and ready to start your addiction remission with the help of suboxone/bupe. I hope your induction goes well. In addition to the sub treatment, do you have other recovery plans in place such as counseling or therapy? Like you, 12-step programs don't seem to help me, but my individual therapy helps me a great deal. I also have battled major depressive disorder my entire adult life. Therapy has helped me to learn new coping skills so I can deal with my "new found" emotions without the need to take a drug or pop a pill. Perhaps something like that can help you in avoiding relapse, too.

Again, welcome to the forum. I hope you find as much support here for your recovery as I have. Keep posting and please let us know how your induction goes.

Hat

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 3:23 pm 
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Welcome to the forum. Glad you made it here! Always nice to see another heroin user getting off the junk.

This place has been extremely helpful for me, hopefully you will get some good use out of it too.


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