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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 5:37 pm 
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mama79 wrote:
Hey db, I am doing quite well actually! It's kind of freaking me out how well I'm doing! It has been almost 2 full days, and one full half-life, so I keep thinking "when's this gonna hit me???" I didn't get much sleep, even on top of the double dose of meds last night, woke up feeling like I had a slab of concrete laying on top of me, eyes watering, stomach going, but once I got up and moving I felt better. I took .5 xan in morning to ward off the panic I experience now that I've jumped, went on a 45 min walk and blasted the tunes, drank my protein shake, took vitamins, and now I feel just fine. I had a tiny bit of the sweats just a little while ago, but that's about it. Seriously, I keep thinking "is this it?" I know the dreaded day 3 is tomorrow, but at this rate, I really don't think that it's anything I won't be able to power through and still remain functional. I honestly had worse days when I was tapering down to .5 than I have had since I jumped yesterday. The biggest obstacle is my brain, and getting it to shut the f up at times, but that's where the music comes in! I really feel like I'm gaining some momentum at this point.

Thanks for checking in on me! How are you doing? How many days/ weeks now? I know you were sick for a minute, but are you still experiencing any symptoms?

nothing I cant handle, I think its 29 days, I quit counting, although I just tried to.
:D its life you know, I still have strange issues but nothing bad at all. I think I really got my self malnourished in my wake. so I am playing catch up but my appetite is coming back stronger every day. I really think what you are dealing with is what you can expect. 4-7 maybe a slight bit harder but not much getting better by small amounts every day. just stand back catch your breath and say I have got this. its very wavy, I found it worse a times when I used to drop. but that has passed me to. I got sick with pneumonia on day 15, so that set me back, but no looking back now no way. I had a headache at someone's house and they offered me a tramadol and I said no, I wanted to say no f'in way. I took 2 200mg ibuprophen and went on with it. I don't have much motivation but I guess that is to be expected. keep pushing this will all be a memory soon. :!:


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 9:20 pm 
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Day 2 - Night update: I feel surprisingly well. I had my first major sweat attack about 2 hours ago, so I took a whole clonidine and it knocked it right out. From what I've heard, the symptoms really start to hit hard around day 3 or 4, so a little nervous about what tomorrow will bring. I did everything I was supposed to today: exercised, vitamins, protein, meds as prescribed and scheduled, did some housework and listened to music. I am 2 days in, and I remember before when it was time to dose in the morning sometimes I thought I was dying before I took that dose. Now, it's really not that bad now that I have accepted that taking a dose isn't even an option. Symptoms are still in waves, feeling a little lethargic, but still handling business and completely doable. Now I'm just hoping to catch some decent z's tonight.

Catch ya on the flipside!


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:17 pm 
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I'm so proud of you!! I am praying you get some sleep; you are a strong woman and I know you can face down "whatever" day 3 brings!! Sweet dreams!!
Rca


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 9:43 am 
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Day 3 Sub Free (nice ring to it, right?) Morning check-in: I slept from about 1030pm to 5am, so all night basically. I did take 2 clonidine before bed, not together but spaced out about 4 hours, and slept soundly. I woke up with the usual; teary eyes, stomach gurgling, a little achy and legs were going a little bit, just sneezed again, all the usual. I DO NOT feel that bad! I am heading into the 72 hour mark so we'll see how it goes then, especially tomorrow. I was looking over my calendar for my last week on sub, and I'm wondering because I was mostly at .375, .25, and .5 a couple times toward the beginning of the week, and the last few days spaced out dosed about 24 hours, is why the symptoms aren't all that bad. However, I'm sure if I didn't have meds I would be hating life. So trainer, if you're reading, mucho respect to you for powering through this like a warrior without any meds AND having to go to work! More later...


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 1:22 pm 
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mama79 wrote:
Day 3 Sub Free (nice ring to it, right?) Morning check-in: I slept from about 1030pm to 5am, so all night basically. I did take 2 clonidine before bed, not together but spaced out about 4 hours, and slept soundly. I woke up with the usual; teary eyes, stomach gurgling, a little achy and legs were going a little bit, just sneezed again, all the usual. I DO NOT feel that bad! I am heading into the 72 hour mark so we'll see how it goes then, especially tomorrow. I was looking over my calendar for my last week on sub, and I'm wondering because I was mostly at .375, .25, and .5 a couple times toward the beginning of the week, and the last few days spaced out dosed about 24 hours, is why the symptoms aren't all that bad. However, I'm sure if I didn't have meds I would be hating life. So trainer, if you're reading, mucho respect to you for powering through this like a warrior without any meds AND having to go to work! More later...

GREAT job Mama!!! I'm sure all your preparation and healthy lifestyle these last weeks are paying off. SO SO glad to hear that "Day 3 Sub Free" is not so bad for you! Keep doing what you're doing!


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 2:53 pm 
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Holy Smokes, day 3 Sub free....woo hoo!!!

I'm going to check out the links to the songs you posted....they better be good!!! :D

I've heard the first song, just didn't know the title or who sang it.

The second song, Spanky Jr, I made it 9 seconds into the song and couldn't take it anymore. Sorry.

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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 4:14 pm 
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mama, have you heard this song before? I thought you may appreciate the humor in it. This song always cracks me up.

http://vimeo.com/14953336

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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 8:01 pm 
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Hows it going mama? Maybe this will make ya chuckle. I searched youtube and found a beginner 15 minute yoga video. Feeling better and a bit cocky, I jumped on the floor and started it. 7 minutes in, huffing and puffing and struggling to touch my toes in the simplest of poses (failing miserably I might add), I gave up and collapsed on the floor, where I saw the underneath of my bed and a doggie stash of stolen socks, books, magazines and chewed up something or others under there. I crawled half way under and raided the loot (damn you abby the klepto dog), which then led to a quick vacuum job, after I discovered I was covered in dog fur from laying on the damn floor doing a sad attempt at yoga! Hahaha!

I am feeling much much better than earlier =)


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 8:28 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
mama, have you heard this song before? I thought you may appreciate the humor in it. This song always cracks me up.

http://vimeo.com/14953336


Yes, of course I have heard that song before! I love the irony of the upbeat, poppy music, and the hostile lyrics. The first time I heard it, it was the PG version though. Then a few weeks later I heard the real version and I was like, wow, bitter!

As far as "spanky 3", you can hang with an 8mg jump but only 9 seconds of an unconventional country song??? Whatever, Rom-e-oh...who gives a shit!!! JK! I think you're the only person on this forum so far that I feel comfortable talking smack with! Thank you! It makes me feel like myself again, lol!

So I was in a pretty bad funk earlier. The depression hit pretty hard today. As far as physically, a little bit more of the RLS and skin crawls, but mostly emotional junk. Nothing specific, just one of those days that I can't wait to be over. I did all my normal stuff that I've been doing to take care of myself but it didn't work its magic like it has been the last 2 days. Tonight is 2 whole half-lives, so makes sense I'm going through it. But still, I can't stress enough that it isn't that bad. Even though I did get out a little today, the first two days sub free I was out and about pretty much all day, so maybe that has a little something to do with it. Hopefully I will get at least some sleep, and I'll check in tomorrow on the big day 4.


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 9:16 pm 
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mama79 wrote:

[...]9 seconds of an unconventional country song???


Try 10 seconds of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuC_l3ymXhM

"I lost my mind, on suboxone forum" (apologies to the original lyrics).


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 9:40 pm 
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noboop--loved it! I remember when "Doorbell" by White Stripes came out, and it had that sort of country fusion in it.


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 9:49 pm 
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mama79 wrote:
noboop--loved it! I remember when "Doorbell" by White Stripes came out, and it had that sort of country fusion in it.


:)


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 10:55 pm 
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Thank God this day is over. Just sayin.


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 11:21 pm 
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mama79 wrote:
Thank God this day is over. Just sayin.


Me too. I finally managed to shave tonight. Been scared to try it left-handed with right arm out of commission, and cut myself up and have it come out patchy, but I was also afraid of starting to look like Grizzly Adams. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and actually is one of the closest shaves I've had in awhile. It seems when there is more hair, there is more for the razor to grab a-hold of. I usually keep up with it, hate the itchy feeling of stubble for one, and last time I had substantial facial hair, people teased me and said I looked liked Jesus (If I'm going to get described as a god, I'd prefer something like Jim Morrison before he let himself go and got a beer belly and a fur face -- still pissed that Val Kilmer got the part for the Doors movie instead of me. I have same vocal range as Jim tah-boot!).


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 11:33 pm 
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noboop:
Thank you for that facial hair/shaving wrap up to a shitty day! It kind of made me feel like a big ol baby because I have the use of both my arms! Anyway, thanks for sharing, and I'll catch ya on day 4. I'll be interested to hear about that regrowth!


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 11:39 pm 
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no_boop_shoo_be_doop wrote:
mama79 wrote:
Thank God this day is over. Just sayin.


Me too. I finally managed to shave tonight. Been scared to try it left-handed with right arm out of commission, and cut myself up and have it come out patchy, but I was also afraid of starting to look like Grizzly Adams. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and actually is one of the closest shaves I've had in awhile. It seems when there is more hair, there is more for the razor to grab a-hold of. I usually keep up with it, hate the itchy feeling of stubble for one, and last time I had substantial facial hair, people teased me and said I looked liked Jesus (If I'm going to get described as a god, I'd prefer something like Jim Morrison before he let himself go and got a beer belly and a fur face -- still pissed that Val Kilmer got the part for the Doors movie instead of me. I have same vocal range as Jim tah-boot!).


Oh well, I don't look much like Jim anyway, so can't hold a grudge against the casting crew. When I've had my beauty rest (not getting any younger), usually what I get is "Sebastian Bach" from Skid Row, or Steven Tyler when he was younger, because of my big mouth; literally and figuratively (figuratively, as its been known to get me in trouble, heh).


G'night, Mama. Sweet dreams: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyfNHlqymP8


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2014 11:41 pm 
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mama79 wrote:
noboop:
Thank you for that facial hair/shaving wrap up to a shitty day! It kind of made me feel like a big ol baby because I have the use of both my arms! Anyway, thanks for sharing, and I'll catch ya on day 4. I'll be interested to hear about that regrowth!



PS,

You will, if I have my way :wink:


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2014 12:06 am 
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Okay, now that I've settled in, taken double my meds, and watching Django Unchained, for like the 3rd time, I have more of a " I made it today" attitude, rather than "fuck this day" attitude. My emotions were all over the place today and I get really frustrated when I have absolutely no motivation to get stuff done. So there was my goodnight reprieve.


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2014 3:57 am 
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Good morning Mama!!!! I was happy to read that you ended the day on a more positive note-
Day 3 under your belt- You RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think you should have any expectations for yourself this week about 'getting stuff done'. Be easy on yourself! If your daughter was sick, you wouldn't expect her to do any chores (even if she wasn't such a little person- lol). Treat yourself like you would treat your child if they were having a hard time. Be patient and loving with yourself. The "stuff to get done" can wait....it'll still be there later.


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 Post subject: Re: Tapering
PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2014 7:43 am 
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Thanks rca. I just had absolutely no motivation, not even to be a mama, and then the guilt would settle in and I would think "it's not her fault you're in this situation!" It was just a bad day, and to be expected. Altogether though, it is still nothing compared to other detoxes I've been through, so I am definitely grateful that I am physically capable of taking care of her - even if it's forced at times!

So, here it is; my pre-sunrise post:

Day 4 Sub Free - morning check-in: So, as I mentioned about 3 times yesterday, it sucked. Sleep wise, I think the meds knocked me out about 10ish, woke up around 1230, took another 1/2 clonidine, and fell back asleep til about 345. I'm a little out of it because I usually get around at least 5 hours to sleep the meds off. But maybe that's why I don't feel so bad right now; they're still lingering and making me a little braindead! When I did wake up in the middle of the night it wasn't just that "awake" feeling, it was that angry, violently tossing and turning feeling. I'm pretty achy right now so I think I'll make some coffee, go on a walk, listen to some music, then get my day going. I have just one thing to do in the morning, and thinking I should go to the beach, at least for a drive.

So yesterday when I was kind of "going through it", I kept thinking about that scene in Trainspotting where Ewen McGregor's character overdoses, and literally sinks into the floor, and Lou Reed's "Perfect Day" is playing in the background. So for all of you that have been sharing music with me, here's a pretty cool rendition of that song with lots of cameos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2JXy1Z9ovs


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