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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 1:16 am 
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Today was pretty good for me to my friend, I didnt get my daughter as I dont want her to see me all zoned out. I hope it only gets better from here. I got some sonata for sleep, its the worst not being able to sleep. My doc said that from here on out should be alot easier. Its like we are running a marathon and we hit the wall, last 6 miles are the toughest, but were almost there.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:02 am 
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Well I was able to get some sleep last night, I had taken 50 milligrams of Seroquel, 10 mg of Ambien and .1 of clonidine. Still was not enough, so I added some more Seroquel. I should note that I have had sleep issues since I was a child...

But today I feel pretty dang good. The best I have felt waking up in awhile. Stomach is a bit rough but other than that I feel fine for the most part. Unless something takes a dramatic turn for the worst, I think I will be able to go to work today. Overall this has been more then manageable. I think the sleep is going to take awhile to adjust, but I can take some Ambien in addition to the regular sleep meds for a few days.

I would not be surprised if I get amplified emotions today, that has always been a feature of my later WDs. I was just thinking and smiling about how nice it is going to be to not be reliant on any opiates. I think Sub is a great help and would recommend it too anyone who is serious. Its a tool that can help you very much, as long as you put the work in. I would gladly trade a few days of feeling bad for the security that it gave me when I needed it.

Keep at it Ozzy and everyone else


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 7:39 pm 
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Work went fine, didn't have to touch the "emergency pack" (okay, so it was just a plastic bag with immodium and ibuprofen). Towards the end, I did start to get a small amount of nausea and stomach rumbling (which are typical end stage symptoms for me). Took one single immodium and am going to play it by ear, I do not want to plug myself up. When I got home I took the dog out for a second walk and the little anxiety that I had went away. Nothing too bad, I do feel a bit "off" but there are also times when I feel like a fog has been lifted. Got tons of sports to watch on TV and am not going to skimp on the sleep meds tonight.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:45 pm 
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Ozzy, I think I read that you didn't get any sleep last night, that's a bummer, but you sound like you're not letting it get to you and that's fantastic. Wd will try and break you, just keep on fighting and you will make it through.

I've always loved this picture, that's one bad ass frog!!

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 3:53 am 
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My doc told me that nobody ever died from lack of sleep, I wanted to punch him lol, but he is right. I was tired all day but come night im wide awake. Im gunna ride this out and hopefully, oneday I can get back to normal. My doc says that by 30 days I should be 100%, hope thats true, I just want to sleep on my own and not take any more damn pills, I was only depressed because I hated my life on subs and same for not sleeping.. Ill be a warrior and ride this out, and when better want to help as many people as possible through service, you see we got tgis gift and now its up to us to give it away, when and if people are ready to take it. There too much neg about subs, people who have done their time and learned how to taper properly need to educated those who are poorly informed. I hated subs but it saved me from heroin, and methadone treatment? To the normies that sounds just as bad as H. Plus its alot harder to abuse subs, I nevver got any rec value from them, just used them to get my life back together and to stay well. The outpatient program I used to go wants me to come back to the opiate dependace program so im going to be pushing this forum hard. The doctors there dont know squat, they put u on ridiculouly high induction and when the program is over they send u on ur marry way with no advice on how to quit subs and tapering. The doc there told me I would be fine jumping at 4mgs, hell no, worst 8 days of my life. This forum is what taught me what to do properly and the support was the final push. To me in a way it almost like an AA meeting, we post what we are doing and our plans and then we are held accountable. And we get to do service by helping others in need. Anytime we are in service we are working on our own recovery. Once you stop doing work you get putback in a place you shouldnt be and the disease lifts its ugly head. Im tired of suffering but im glad I went through it all, it gave me more compassion, understanding and allows me to be more mindful about all the small stuff I was missing out on while I was the living dead. Good night and God Bless, no more suffering.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:48 am 
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Ozzy, no program has the right to tell you what you can take. They can make a suggestion, but they should also be willing to work with the client where they are at. I myself think Subs are a great tool, as long as the person really wants to get their stuff together and is willing to put up with some pain during the taper. So many of the horror stories just seem like people who decide to jump off for no reason.



Feel even better today, my stomach is slightly upset but nothing serious. Haven't had to take any clonidine or atarax, nor any Ibuprofen. Slept pretty okay last night, but it did take some sleeping pills. Oh well, sleep is so important in this process. Emotionally I feel pretty good, a little off balance but okay. Physically lots of the anxiety is gone, so I am going to take half doses of Clonidine to make sure the taper off that goes smooth. Feel like I have more energy today. Hopefully I have turned the corner.

Cannot think of much else, overall, I guess this has gone easier then I expected it would.


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 Post subject: Re: keep it up
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:37 pm 
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itispossibletostop wrote:
Stick to your plan. I followed a similar path and yes there were good days and bad but I was able to stop. 4 months clean and never looking back. I had slight withdrawals but nothing compared to oxy, NOTHING! My biggest issue was just focusing at work but that didn't last but a few days.


Thanks for the comment. Yes it was difficult to focus at work, but my job is not very intensive. I was a Social Worker who worked with abused/traumatized kids for a few years, and I burnt out. So, when I returned to work I specifically picked something that would let me get back into the flow without being too stressful.

Pretty sure its only going to get better from here, I want to start cutting out the Ambien though. Probably tomorrow night, as I do not have to work tomm so if I stay up late I will be fine.

Feels like a fog is lifting from my head. Ozzy, I totally agree, way too much negative and just plain wrong info about Suboxone. For most people, a taper is the way to go. It will be worth it in the end. I think some people end up staying on Sub longer than they should because they read so many horror stories about it.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 10:37 am 
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Woke up feeling pretty much symptom free. I am sure some of the mental stuff will pop up again, but I do not feel anxious nor is my stomach upset. Last night it was difficult to get to sleep, but I got about six hours in I'd say. Slight restless leg and tight joints but nothing like it was the first day or two.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 2:22 pm 
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Feeling very good, can tell that I am at the end of the physical stuff. Mentally, I am doing better as well, I was mildly depressed yesterday and the day before but nothing serious. I am getting very retrospective and feeling positive about my future. I am proud of myself and everyone on this forum! Music is really moving me right now. When I first go into WD I cannot listen to music as it sounds to intense.

This will be my last opiate withdrawal as long as I stay vigilant. I still have a long way to go, but I am visualizing that masters degree, good job and a nice place in 2 -3 years. I also feel like I will be ready for a relationship soon, as I kinda avoided getting involved in more then 2 week flings for a few years.

I will always maintain that Sub is a great tool to help you achieve what you want. I don't think I would have been able to stop my relapse cycle without it. I have had no cravings of any significance yet, but I will be tested at some point I am sure. Thankfully I have no sources at all right now.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 11:57 am 
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Still doing good. Symptoms are becoming more of a "flash in a pan" deal then a consistent one. Sleep is still off, but the meds allow me to get some. Looking forward to reducing my intake of them. Eventually I plan on trying to get off, but I have always struggled with sleep as I have mentioned.

Not sure what I am going to do tonight, might stay home or might go over to a friends. I am planning on running some errands today.

Have taken half of a .1 clonidine and nothing else. Going to see if I can stop taking the Atarax, I would like to save some for when I try to get off nicotine or the sleeping pills.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:03 pm 
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still doing good, getting better every day. Sleep is getting easier and easier. I am getting sick of my room smelling like Icey Hot.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 10:29 am 
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Still doing pretty good. Had a great day yesterday, my favorite ball team throws a perfect game and my hockey team wins in OT last night.

Today, I wake up without any anxiety. Most likely going to watch some more baseball and grill some bratwurst. Still having to take quite a bit of sleeping meds, but its getting better!


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 1:34 pm 
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Its a little more then a week now, and I feel majority of physical stuff is gone and the mental stuff has really lessened. Last night I had a little bit of tension, but nothing serious. Sleep remains a bit of a challenge, I did not take Ambien last night, but did have to take some Dipenhydramine on top of my Seroquel. It still took me awhile to fall to sleep.

I am going to take a break from updating this. Overall, nowhere near as difficult as I thought it would be. I think I jumped off at the right point. I have had no cravings of any type of mention.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 9:27 am 
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Stephent-
Great news-you give me hope! Thank you for posting your taper/withdrawal..it sound like you did the right taper, got through the withdrawal. My take-away is that is wasn't so bad?
D


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 4:42 pm 
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Bettyboop wrote:
Stephent-
Great news-you give me hope! Thank you for posting your taper/withdrawal..it sound like you did the right taper, got through the withdrawal. My take-away is that is wasn't so bad?
D



Sorry for the late reply. Basically, at the end of it, it was pretty uncomfortable for about two days. Still nowhere near as bad as full agonist withdrawal. Like my other Sub withdrawals (while tapering) it seemed effects came in stages, which made it much easier to manage.

The comfort meds helped. Also, this was my first Sub withdrawal and I have not relapsed since being on it (or off it). Finally, I feel the slow taper made a huge difference.

IF I CAN DO IT, ANYONE CAN! No shame in lifetime maintenance, my habit just did not necessitate that (and I aim to keep it that way).


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 3:10 pm 
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Update:

No idea how long I have been off it, two weeks or something? I could go back and check if I wanted. I am still not at full energy but it is getting much better, appetite is still a little week and my motivation is not where it should be. I do feel it coming back though. I need to just start doing more things.

Legs did tighten and cramp a little last night... first time that had happened in awhile.


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PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2012 2:18 am 
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Sorry I havent checked in for awhile, but I am good. Can def relate to how youre feeling, some days are betterthan others and my sleep is still off, motivation sucks too but I slowly feel myself getting back to normal. Paws suck but its more of an annoyance than anything. Going back to the gym has helped a ton and my libido came back in full force so now my gf loves me again lol. Ill check bzck in in a few days. We got this ;)


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PostPosted: Sun May 20, 2012 7:36 pm 
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still doing good, no subs, no relapses. Am getting frustrated about not finding more work, but it will come with time.


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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 12:20 am 
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Have you had any symptoms of paws? Are you 100%? Im still not 100% but a hell of a lot better each week. Sleep is alot better and my motivation is coming back good.


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