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PostPosted: Wed Feb 27, 2013 4:14 pm 
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Hey guys a update

I got my first week day take home today holding it in my hands now and it feels so good knowing I accomplished this status at the clinic. It's just nice knowing the Dr approved it my counselor made sure the Dr was aware of how good I'm doing and so fourth. Also I finally have a set plan in place for what I'm doing with my education but ill type that up tomm or the next day. I just wanted to share the good news.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 28, 2013 2:02 am 
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That's awesome Bboy! It always feels good when your hard work is recognized. I'm also glad that you are more clear about your education. I'm looking forward to reading about that!

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:54 am 
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Thanks Amy

Well the update on my schooling as many of you know I'm going to school to be a drug counselor. So I'm happy to say at the end of this semester I will have my associates degree which would allow me to try and get my ksact T and start looking for a job as a real counselor. Which is awesome but I realized after talking with my own counselor that with just my associates degree I would have to do 6000 ksact training hours. So after talking with my advisor I would only have to do 3 semesters at a four year school to get my masters which would mean i only have to do 4000 ksact training hours. So now with a set plan I actually feel like I am close to actually doing something with my life. And all those years wasted getting high could actually benefit me in the long run. My counselor said to me that with no matter how much schooling a new counselor has I'm already ahead of the pack based on the fact I have something that can't be taught even at Harvard real life experience with the drugs I'm suppose to help people get off.

The one thing I am worried about is I am still on methadone and I really don't know if that will affect me getting a job in this field. My counselor said the one thing I have on my side is I am a documented pain management patient.

Well I'll keep you all updated

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 1:48 am 
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Methadone saved my life! Why is that a bad thing to so many people. I'm sick of people who are so uneducated telling me how I'm not clean during groups outside my clinic. And I don't owe anyone an explanation!

Sorry needed to rant f&$@ NA

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:52 am 
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I just read my last post and I just wanted to apologize I wish I was finishing up for my masters. I meant to say my bachelors degree!

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:18 pm 
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Hey guys just wanted to drop a quick update!

I realized I haven't talked about this at all but I just wanted to share the side effects that I have expirenced during my time on methadone being a couple years now. I will say this methadone is like a sugar pill side effect wise compared to suboxone. Suboxone side effects were unbearable to me many times I rather gone back to opiates than stay on it because of how subs made me feel. I don't need to get into the bc you all know them already. But the main side effects from methadone I deal with on a daily basis are mainly, perspiration, as usual constipation, insomnia and the last one is sugar cravings mainly for chocolates. All of these side effects can be easily treated but the sweating is fucking annoying as he'll, for example I'm on a date with my gf and I could be dripping wet from humid weather or when I'm in the gym I sweat so much that by the time morning comes I feel a light dope sick feeling bc I sweat out all my meds the night before. Again it's nothing to complain about.

I just wanted to share that with you guys bc I know I praise methadone non stop but it has a couple negatives!

Thanks for listening

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:42 pm 
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That would totally annoy me, but sweating is definitely more of a nuisance thing than a deal breaking side effect. I have a friend on methadone and he basically has to carry a towel with him wherever he goes. At least in the summer.

As bad as the sweating would be for a man, I think it would be even worse for a woman. I mean, guys are kind of supposed to perspire, whereas women can only get away with it when exercising. Stupid double standard, I know, but there it is.

I'm glad that you're still doing well Bboy!

Amy

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 11:26 am 
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I hear you on the sugar cravings..... I ate so much candy and sugar when I was on methadone, as a matter of fact I always had a Hershey bar next to my bed, and that was always the last thing I ate every night.....


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PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2013 3:35 pm 
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Lol Amy f&@$ double standards lol. I carry a wash cloth with me too when it gets hot. It's a pain in the ass but its not going to kill me. Luckily I have a gf who understands it god it would b so embarrassing to be on a first date with sweat dripping down my face yukky! I feel you mg I always crave chocolate more than anything and I love every second of it lol.

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PostPosted: Tue May 28, 2013 7:38 pm 
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I'm glad you're still doing well Bboy. I'm really frustrated lately with my clinic. They are extremely overcrowded and because my state has a moratorium on allowing any other clinics from being built the clinic I'm at has no competition so they can basically charge however much they want and make us stand in long lines. The next closest clinic to me is about 3 hours away. There is one other clinic here in Indianapolis but they are at capacity and they only accept a couple new patients each month. So even if a spot does open up at the other clinic they basically have a first come first serve policy. That means if they are taking new patients you have to be the first person in the clinic door when they open up at 5am in the morning. I tried one time to get in there and I went to basically camp out in front of the clinic's door at around 11pm the day before and there were already at least 10 other people waiting there. So you are basically forced to hangout all night in the parking lot and be one of the first people in the door at 5am. Then I can't get a day off work so I'd basically have to go to work after having not slept all night.

Currently I pay $14.50 a day and on a good day I only have to stand in line for a little over 1 hour. They have dosing times too so I have to dose after 6am and before 8am or they charge an extra $10 for that day. I'm happy that I switched to methadone because I literally have no cravings, I'm stable, and I really feel the most "normal" I have felt since getting clean back in 2006. I just wish my community would see opiod addiction like any other disease and allow more than 1 single treatment center every couple hundred miles. I understand there need to be some restrictions so as to avoid diversion and abuse of the medication but it's inhumane to expect someone to pay approx. $400 a month and wait in line at least 1hr a day :(

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 12:41 am 
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Matt2 wrote:
I'm glad you're still doing well Bboy. I'm really frustrated lately with my clinic. They are extremely overcrowded and because my state has a moratorium on allowing any other clinics from being built the clinic I'm at has no competition so they can basically charge however much they want and make us stand in long lines. The next closest clinic to me is about 3 hours away. There is one other clinic here in Indianapolis but they are at capacity and they only accept a couple new patients each month. So even if a spot does open up at the other clinic they basically have a first come first serve policy. That means if they are taking new patients you have to be the first person in the clinic door when they open up at 5am in the morning. I tried one time to get in there and I went to basically camp out in front of the clinic's door at around 11pm the day before and there were already at least 10 other people waiting there. So you are basically forced to hangout all night in the parking lot and be one of the first people in the door at 5am. Then I can't get a day off work so I'd basically have to go to work after having not slept all night.

Currently I pay $14.50 a day and on a good day I only have to stand in line for a little over 1 hour. They have dosing times too so I have to dose after 6am and before 8am or they charge an extra $10 for that day. I'm happy that I switched to methadone because I literally have no cravings, I'm stable, and I really feel the most "normal" I have felt since getting clean back in 2006. I just wish my community would see opiod addiction like any other disease and allow more than 1 single treatment center every couple hundred miles. I understand there need to be some restrictions so as to avoid diversion and abuse of the medication but it's inhumane to expect someone to pay approx. $400 a month and wait in line at least 1hr a day :(


I here you Matt luckily my clinic recently opened a second widow which makes thing move much faster. But even when there was one the longest I ever waited was a half hour and that was a Saturday and weekends were always busy thank god for take homes. But my clinic has a limit so never over crowed only busy right when they open, but dosing hours are 6 to 12 and 130 for people who work or are in school. That's freeking crazy that you guys get charged if you come after 10am. But now my average visit show up at 1:00 get my dose back in my car and on my way home 1:05. We have 3 clinics within 20 miles of each other two are within 10 minutes. But waiting a hour everyday and having no proper waiting list is fucked up. My clinic is just like a suboxone program when it comes to a waiting list sense. You call your name is put on a list and you call once a week to check in on your status. And when your turn comes you'll get a letter in the mail.

Keep your head up Matt just look at the positives!

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:57 pm 
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Hurting hard guys. My gf of a year and a half sends me a text message saying my family is having problems and I need space but we can be friends. I'm so lost we didn't have a fight I didn't cheat on her or ever physically/mentally abuse her. The last time we hung out we had an amazing time went to the science museum it had the body art exhibit she slept over. Than she starts a new job we barely see each other her sister is a junkie and relapsed after getting out of a six month inpatient joint. Her dad is very controlling he says jump shed say how high. But after a year and a half you brake up with someone just bc your sister is a junkie? I think her dad blamed my gf for her sister fucking up and if she didn't spend so much time with me this wouldn't of happen maybe? And if she kept seeing me he would take her out the will he's very wealthy and uses that over her all the time. I don't know I'm so heart broken and all I do is cry I mean we talked about spending the rest of our life together all the time. Maybe silly but we already had our kids names picked out and so on.... All I want to do is get high I feel so worthless and like its all my fault. I didn't do anything wrong why throw away a year and a half of nothing but great memory's and times for no real reason that I can figure out.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:26 am 
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oh shit bboy I am so sorry.

I could tell from your other posts that you two are very close and you love her alot.

I think you should try to talk to her face to face. You deserve that much. Be calm and honest and offer her your support.

Please dont use drugs over this bboy. You have come so far. You are doing well with school and truly are a role model. You know using will just make you feel like shit.

Im gonna say a prayer for you guys. Keep the faith and know an internet stranger is pulling for you. Love, Orange doll


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 3:20 am 
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Oh no, Bboy! I'm so sorry about your gf! I agree with Orange Doll that you should try to get her to meet with you and give you more of an explanation. Maybe it's something that can be worked out?

I know you feel super low right now, but you do NOT have permission to blow your recovery because of it! You have every right to surround yourself with supportive people, cry it out, read self-help books, eat lots of comfort food, get a massage (even just a foot massage), listen to angry and bitter music, etc. But you cannot use and put yourself in a worse position than you're in now!

In your mind follow the route from getting high to a relapse's logical conclusion. What's your life going to look like then? You owe it to yourself to stay on track!

Amy

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:20 am 
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First off Amy and orange doll thank you so so much for your kind posts I may not haved replied right away but I did read them and they did help a lot. I didn't reply because I just would get emotional typing it up at that point in time. But now I'm ready to at least post a thanks. This brake up has hurt me very much both emotionally and pysically and I still haven't fully recovered emotionally. It's hard to get over a brake up when you have no true closure and I never got it.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:56 am 
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I've been wondering how you are and I'm sad to hear that your break up has caused you so much pain. I'm not surprised though. Going through a break up is a time of extreme grief. You are mourning her and the future you had imagined with her. It's very similar to grieving for someone who has died. When my mom died suddenly it was a physical and emotional shock to me. I didn't get any sort of closure with her either and that was extremely difficult. My immune system was shot too; I got sick with every illness that anyone around me had and even got Bell's Palsy.

Emotional pain like this doesn't go away quickly, but your heart grows more accustomed to carrying the weight of it.

Please be kind to yourself in the next few months. Give yourself time and space to grieve. If you try to bury it, your brain will find maladaptive ways to deal with it. Writing it down may help, even if you don't consider yourself someone who would "journal". Sometimes your friends aren't able to deal with your grief and that is when writing it down or talking to a professional could help. Anything to keep it from messing with your recovery.

And we'll be here too if you need to vent or talk about it.

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: My SWITCH
PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:54 am 
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Amy you truly are a kind gentle person with a great soul, thank you so much for that post it was so nice to read.

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 Post subject: Re: My SWITCH
PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 3:30 pm 
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Hey all life is going well my dose is still working well my pain is still being managed and my addiction has been in control for a while now. I rarely have any cravings to speak off and I'm finally starting to get over the ex I still think about her from time to time but everything happens for a reason I guess. Would love to say I understand what happen but I can't change the past. Anyways hope you are all doing well and can't wait for fall to start!

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 Post subject: Re: My SWITCH
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2013 5:35 am 
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You and me both!!! Autumn is my favorite time of the year! The humorous part of fall here in CO is that everyone thinks it's so beautiful here. When you drive into the state it says, "Welcome to Colorful Colorado!". And yet the only natural leaf color change is the yellow aspens! Having grown up in VT, it is very amusing to me that CO natives think it's colorful here. Coloradans do make fun of VT's rugged little mountains, but Vermonters have every right to disdain Colorado when it comes to color!!

I'm glad to hear that you're still doing well, Bboy!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: My SWITCH
PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 5:32 am 
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This is my personal experience with methadone and a warning.... don't do it! When you want to get off the withdrawals are worse than heroin withdrawal and 4 times longer. Aside from no sleep, vomiting, diarrhea, results leg....the pain is so intense it'll drive you mad. I went from 130 mg methadone to nothing in 11 days. Luckily my family Dr, also a practice with a few physicians, runs a sub program. I went there crying and they had me in the next day. I found out they were making ppl wait at least 4 weeks to get in but since I've been a patient there so long I got super lucky. I'm on my 3rd day of sub, 3 8mg daily and it's staving off sickness but my body hurts so bad still. I have had 3 herniated disks and sciatica, and yesterday and today I laid here crying from pain. I will say I was on sub up until a year ago and was on for 4 years and it worked perfectly for me. I'm just waiting for the methadone to stop messing with my body. It is true that methadone gets in the bones, regardless of what anyone tells you. It's made my back problem far worse. I've met 7 other ppl who've told me similar stories. Don't do methadone, I promise it'll be the biggest mistake when you decide to come off. Just a fair warning. And yes prior to sub and methadone treatment I used roxi, opana, dilaudid and heroin.


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