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 Post subject: FYI,
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 3:11 am 
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then i'll get outa yer hair..a troll is someone that just reads and when they seldomly post it usually is of a false identity or they do not reveal themselves in any way. bboy, i promise ( i know i've said it before) i will never post on this thread again. good luck man, seriously- i take methadone for pain too ,btw


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:10 am 
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I always understood "troll" to mean one who posts inflammatory messages in an online forum/community with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion. In other words, they are the "shit-stirrers". For the record, Indigo, I don't consider you to be a troll.

Just wanted to throw my two cents in on the usage of the word "troll".

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 Post subject: Re: FYI,
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2011 3:10 pm 
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indigochild wrote:
then i'll get outa yer hair..a troll is someone that just reads and when they seldomly post it usually is of a false identity or they do not reveal themselves in any way. bboy, i promise ( i know i've said it before) i will never post on this thread again. good luck man, seriously- i take methadone for pain too ,btw



indigo i dont mind if you post in my thread and again i am still learning about methadone i have only been on it seven months and i could learn stuff from you. Before i started methadone i had a negative outlook on it, bc it was the junkie drug or the poor mans suboxone. and being stupid and ill minded i belived this stuff i was being told from my suboxone dr and other people on suboxone. But really if i knew what i knew now than about methadone i would of not wasted five years of my life on suboxone. (Dont over react to that statement guys please that is just for me. And understand i still have much hatred towards suboxone.) And it is people like you i could of learned this from if i would of shut up and listen five years ago and sought out the truth about methadone.


But it is the making fun of my spelling or instead of telling me i was wrong you would make think you were insulting me bc that mistake i wrote and so on. And more than anything i hope people can take something or anything away from this thread. But me and you bashing eachothet post after post is not helping nobody. I felt like you were always trying to one up me and that is my fault as well for thinkimg this way.

When all is said and done this thread this forum is to help people and u and i bickering is not going to do that. So if u want to post in this thread go for it just ease up a lil is all i sm asking. Either way thanks for the good luck i wish you the same.

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this new galaxy phone sucks for typing messages. Sorry for this even worst dpelling and gramar :-((

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 4:02 pm 
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Ok well i couldnt find the rock bottom thread and last time i was in it things were crazy so ill post it hear.

Well today in group at the MD clinic we started off with one topic and some how ended up each person sharing there RB story. And it was a great topic and the storys were interesting and got into how that helped them getting clean in the long run. Anyway it was my turn and it brought back bad memorys but at the same time good bc i got clean 2 weeks later well more so on a suboxone DR waiting list so clean a few weeks later.

Hear it goes i had just left the my pain Doctors app with two fresh scripts felling sick cause i had no meds that morning bc i always went crazy the night b4 i got my new scripts. So i am going 80 on the highway to get to get to that pharmacy. And when i get there i see a long line bc the computers were down or something like that. So i wait in line for 20 mins to drop it off they told me come back in a hour inside i am ferious. So hear i am sick as hell sitting in this lil waiting area when i get a phone call from my mom. Her car was in the shop for a oil change and i had the loaner which i waz illegally driving but my mom drives a nice car so i wanted the loaner which was a new audi a6 so i took it when she was in the shower. Anyways my brother had broke his wrist or arm at work and my mom told me she needed a ride to the er. But my script was not ready yet so i said in 10 but really it had only been ten minsn since i dropped it off. So my mom is blowing my cell up and i kept hitting ignore. So finally picked it up and she said if i am not home in five minutes she was calling the cops and saying i stole the car. So i quote "shut the fuck up you and i dont give two shits i am waiting for my scripts and i will pick you up when i am good and ready you fucking annoying bitch" i put my drugs in front of my owm mom trying to get to my hurt brother laying in the er room. Lets just say my dad had a few choice words and actions when he found out. But what really did it was seeing my mom ball her eyes out repeating what i said to her. And a month later i got on suboxone and have been clean ever since thank god and that was my rock bottom!

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:46 pm 
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Man does time fly by it seems only like a couple months but in two days it will be 8 months to the day of the best change i ever made for my recovery by switching t o methadone. Im still in shock that i no longer have live life in non stop grooling pain all day while i spent 5 yrars on sub with no results while i was told countless times it works for pain well not my pain at least.

Any ways quick update on things, great news my counselor said i am the only patient he has ever given this choice. but since im doing so good he is leaving it up to me to choose when i want to start getting take homes. And ill be the only one that will not have to do a supervised ua b4 my very first take home either for him. I have gained his trust now i cant fuck it up. As of when im going to ask for my first th, once winter is over and my pain from the cold weather is in check i will start weekend take homes. I have one worry am i ready? I think i am but my pain on bad days says maybe not what do u guys think?

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 7:17 pm 
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Again please any suggestions on how to do this the right way and put myself at the least bit of risk doing anything stupid with my take homes. I know I am ready on any normal day but methadone is not perfect I do once in a while have a really bad day pain wise. On those days i wish that I would of went the pain management route so I can take a second dose some days. But then I realize I don’t have that great of discipline and just wouldn’t be ready to have a monthly script of methadone al at once. But this is what scares me on those days with tthat extra methadone in the house what would stop me from taking extra or say something really serious happen and I tweaked one of my injuries really bad. I know I am worrying about a bunch of what ifs but the last thing I want to do is be sick because I took to much of my Sunday dose. And all I hear is oh how I can take just half of my dose Saturday than double up on Sunday to get high. Well that’s prolly why the people who say that have been at the clinic for years and don’t get take homes;)

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 9:18 pm 
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I think the fact that you're thinking about it tells me that you'll remain vigilant, so it might not be an issue for you. It's great that you're thinking ahead though. What you can do is give yourself time frames to dose and not deviate from that so that you're not picking and choosing willy-nilly when to take it. In other words, you're going to have to give yourself some guidelines, then stick by them. That's where the self-discipline comes in.

All you can do is give it a try and see how it goes. You've been doing very well thus far. You should be proud of that. Try to be proud of your work thus far and remain optimistic - still vigilant, but optimistic.

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 Post subject: re:
PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 3:12 pm 
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Bboy42287 wrote:
Again please any suggestions on how to do this the right way and put myself at the least bit of risk doing anything stupid with my take homes. I know I am ready on any normal day but methadone is not perfect I do once in a while have a really bad day pain wise. On those days i wish that I would of went the pain management route so I can take a second dose some days. But then I realize I don’t have that great of discipline and just wouldn’t be ready to have a monthly script of methadone al at once. But this is what scares me on those days with tthat extra methadone in the house what would stop me from taking extra or say something really serious happen and I tweaked one of my injuries really bad. I know I am worrying about a bunch of what ifs but the last thing I want to do is be sick because I took to much of my Sunday dose. And all I hear is oh how I can take just half of my dose Saturday than double up on Sunday to get high. Well that’s prolly why the people who say that have been at the clinic for years and don’t get take homes;)


okay, if you are an ideal , model, MMT "patient" , eventually you will get a months supply of take-homes, if you can space your daily dose out, it will help with analgesia (pain relief) . Don't listen to those numb- nutz that say take half then "double"- they still have that "junky" additude. you're better than that and believe me, it ain't that great! I don't know what state you're in; each state has different laws on take-homes- good luck!


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 Post subject: answer
PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:41 pm 
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Bboy42287 wrote:
I know I am worrying about a bunch of what ifs but the last thing I want to do is be sick because I took to much of my Sunday dose. And all I hear is oh how I can take just half of my dose Saturday than double up on Sunday to get high. Well that’s prolly why the people who say that have been at the clinic for years and don’t get take homes;)

also, this is the answer....follow this and you'll be fine


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 6:44 pm 
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Bboy, I'm excited for you being able to have take homes. I live so far out in the sticks (country) I;m not sure I would enoy driving every morning exspecilly in the cold to take my meds. So I think that is a great thing to look farward to.
About taking too much and running out I believe you have come so far that you will be extra careful about that. The 5 years on suboxone has trained you (HOPEFULLY) not to grab a pill everytime you think you need it. I think it is a good sign your clinic is trusting you this way. Keep working hard and I think you'll be fine. You always have this forum to turn to if you see your starting to have problems.
Mel :wink:

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:29 pm 
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Thanks hat,indigo and mel your post help be realize being aware is not such a bad thing. And that i have come a far way and i should look at getting take homes as a accomplishment. Yea hat that wont be hard with my ocd to set guidelines with my take homes. I mean i already have guide lines in place now with when i go and get/take my meds always around 11-45. Indigo thats a great idea space out my dose of 170 into halfs, because than if something did happen i still have meds for later in the day instead of taking the next days dose. And yea i try not to listen to those people bc well lets face facts like u said still have a junkie mentality. And mel thanku so much fot the kind words. I would hope after five years i have gained those tools to relize that just bc something bad happen doesnt mean drugs are going take the problem away. But pain can mind fuck u so bad sometimes and make u think that lil bite extra is the answere even when u know its not. And thats were i got to be carefull bc lets face facts more with suboxone is worthless but more methadone is like any other opiate and u will fell it. But im confident now that i can handle it. And ya know it should make me feel good my clinic trust me this much like u said so i got to stop turning a positive into a negative.

Thanks again you 3

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:28 am 
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Bboy42287 wrote:
Hey Guys Brent hears for another update on how things are going with methadone. Well I have been on a 100mgs for a couple days and this dose is helping my pain so so much. I am not limping anymore I can make right hand turns without winching and being in severe pain LIFE IS SO FUCKING GOOD RIGHT NOW. For the first time in a long time I went a whole day being out and active without waking up in serious pain. Played a round of gold in the morning with my shoulder not hurting might I add, went to brunch at the CC, Than played hide and seek for a hour with my GF and her lil sister also went on a bike ride the lil one finally took off the training wheels:) Went to the mall and dinner with my GF, we watched a movie went to bed woke up the next day without feeling like I just got ran over by a truck lol. Life is good right now and i just want to say thanks for all your support and I will continue to update this thread.


I just want to say to anyone out there who is on SUB for pain and not getting anything out of it look into methadone it will change your life I promise. And don’t believe that shit you read on the internet it does not get you high once you are on it for a short while.


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 Post subject: Dosing with take homes
PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2011 10:24 am 
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I have been in MMT for a little over two years now and I have weekly take homes. I am at dosage 180 per day and here recently because of cravings and withdrawals still present I underwent some testing (Peak and Trough and examination)where I could increase and also split dose. I was too scared to try split dosing on myself with my takehomes not sure why except I guess I was worried if I did not take the full dose at one time I might suffer worst withdrawals, but like I said about a week ago because of some test results they are increasing me and doing split dose. I felt and still feel a bit horrible not as bad as I did a few days ago but instead of just feeling like crap at night time when I did full dose in the morning now split dose feel like crap all day and I think it is because of the fact I rapidly changed over from 180in the morning to 90 in the morning. I am kind of surprised that someone on a forum had to figure this out for me wonder why the doc would not realize that and have me do a ratio titration like 120 in the am and 60 in the pm for one week and then 100 in the am and 80 in the pm for one week then 90 in the am and 90 in the pm to finalize the titration. So I have begun to do this and I am feeling a bit better. Discuss things with your counselor and be pro-active in hopes to have the answers before the problems arises. Good Luck My Friend. I read this entire thread and you have a good attitude and thinking process which will be a great advantage.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 12:06 am 
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Thanks for the kind words Tonya. So how is the spilt dosing going for you so far? I am a pain management patient on 170 and have been wondering if it can take all my pain away. Right now I take all my dose at once in the morning for the most part my pain is any where from a 2 to 4 on really bad days which r not to common any more but with the winter it's more common. I'm thinking maybe if I didn't have the pain right before bed I would sleep better which would lower my pain in the am before dosing as well as my stress levels which don't help my pain. Please let me know how it's going for you when u get a chance to read the post.


A quick update things are going great I am looking forward to the new year hear and just started a new relationship with a beautiful girl not just outside but inside. My resolution is to not live in the past anymore no more what if"'s and Mostly no more feeling sorry for myself. This is the life I was given and I need to enjoy it to the fullest bc I never know when it maybe my last. I can start take homes whenever I want and have been preparing to do so with my counselors and feel I am ready and will be starting them the first weekend of next month. I thank all for your support and will do another update I. The near future once I start take homes and how things go with that.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 3:37 pm 
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Quick update

Well after long talks with my family,gf,counselors and peps in my groups i have made my mind up and i am going to tell my counselor to put in the order for my weekend take homes. I sit hear worrying about all these things that might happen but the longer i put this off the harder its going to get for me. I feel im ready for this and know that just bc i get takehomes doesnt mean life stops. I need to continue what im doing and things will work out for the best. Well i just wanted to share that im going to take this step in my recovery and will let u know how the first weekend goes.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 4:17 pm 
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Bboy, I'm glad to know that you're doing well and that you're taking a step forward by getting take-homes. It sounds like you've really considered the pros and cons of taking that step and have really thought about how ready you are to do it. Good for you.

Are you back in school now? I know you're studying to be an addiction counselor, right? How is that going?

Keep keeping us posted on your progress and keep up the good work.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 6:09 pm 
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I know this is something you've battled with and I am glad you decided to take this step. I think you will do fine, you've thought about it and taken your time. I'm sure most people can't wait to get take homes. You never pushed it and in fact waited when it was offered. Is this a guarantee that you won't slip? Obviously not but it does show how far you've come and how serious you take your recovery.

I have faith that if the worst were to happen and you couldn't handle take homes then you would inform your counsellor. Your doing great Bboy, keep up the good work!


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 1:42 am 
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BTW just to note Tonya Baldwin is my name and I realized after I registered that no one is using their name so I had to reregister under a nickname so finallyachance is the same as Tonya Baldwin. Me.

Well I am glad you are going to make a move we don't move ahead standing still. I do want to tell you that I have no pain issues. It took e a long time to not be ashamed that I used narcotics for highs instead of for pain etc... I now see myself lucky that pain is not an issue for me but I will tell you that I have looked into split dosing on all levels before I did it etc...And even still I read up on it as much as possible. In my opinion, I would not do split dosing until I got at least 5 take homes because the clinic is going to want to give you one half of 170 at the window and one half to go home and this ratio is too severe when you have been used to taking 170 all at once. I felt some pretty strong daytime withdrawals due to this extreme dose change thank god I only go once a week. A fellow client told me how to titrate myself up to a gradual ratio like 120 morning 60 afternoon then 100 morning to 80 afternoon then 80 morning to 80 afternoon over a three week period to finally end at one half and one half that kept the severity of change in dose at bay. In saying all that if you had to do it some days their way and some days your way I think the body would react.

But do what's expected of you, look forward and work hard for your take homes like I said at least four to five days take homes and when you get there then play with it try two times a day, larger dose in evening instead of morning vice versa, maybe try small doses 4 times a day etc.... See what works best. The pain management split dose friend I have takes her's in four smaller dose increments therefore totally alleviating ALL HER PAIN. Yes I said ALL. She never got relief at once a day dose or even two a day split dose. One day a week she has to take a bit more at the clinic then she does at home but because of the 36 hour lifespan she really feels no ill effects from it. Now in a perfect world you would be able to suggest this to your doctor and possibly he would think it out and agree that this might be a workable plan, but I am not so sure I would go to the extent of suggesting the "four time a day thought" because they can be so assuming as in making an assumption that you ask so you are going to do it regardless. And because it’s not "textbook authorized" therefore it cannot be tolerated so it may even affect how they let you move ahead. So I would for sure ask about split dose twice a day. If I got it and even if I didn't I would check the other dosing routines out for yourself. We are not allowed to be truthful about any unconventional dosing. My friend swears by her pain on dosing every 6 hours (4 x's a day) though. I think pain management should be looked at differently then addiction maintenance. It might be though the laws of accreditation and/or authorities that would not allow the unconventional dosing routines for pain management. Who knows if that be the case they need to get behind changing it for pain management clients.

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 Post subject: man
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 11:11 am 
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Bboy42287 wrote:
Quick update

Well after long talks with my family,gf,counselors and peps in my groups i have made my mind up and i am going to tell my counselor to put in the order for my weekend take homes. I sit hear worrying about all these things that might happen but the longer i put this off the harder its going to get for me. I feel im ready for this and know that just bc i get takehomes doesnt mean life stops. I need to continue what im doing and things will work out for the best. Well i just wanted to share that im going to take this step in my recovery and will let u know how the first weekend goes.


if I ever want to learn how to worry about 'whatever' i'll ask you. geez, you whine like my wife........it's good you don't have to go to a stupid clinic with numb-nutz councilors!( most are idiots without any certification) SPLIT your dose for the pain you speak of.. you should be freaking stoked not to drive to those nasty ass clinics EVERDAY! you just worry, worry, what if, what if, what if..........i hope you get something out of this post otherwise it's a colossal waste of time. and if u fuk up, learn from your mistake


FYI- I take methadone and am a huge advocate of the drug. It's a godsend to opiate addicts that have tried everything else. I don't believe it should be the first option always. Each case and addict are different and the councilors are awful at judging this- e.g. ANYONE can walk into a clinic with only 1 hydrocodone in their system. Then they piss dirty and they are in! A starting dose of 30mg will loop or possibly kill someone with NO tolerence. I believe that's where the Dr. and 'councilors' lack proper screening and judgement. Most of my opinions on clinics and certain staff are from years of personal experience


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 11:49 am 
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Hey guy’s thanks for the words of engorgement and you all played a big role in helping me get to this step as well. I have thought about the spilt dosing and decided if I do it I will do it completely on my own at my house so I can find which way works best for me. And to be honest my pain now is not too bad so I think I will prolly only take 2 doses a day one large one in the morning and one small one to get me through the rest of the night before I go to sleep. Because when my meds start warring off im literally in bed like a couple hours later and my sleeping pills knock me out so I don’t have to take to much to get me through the night. I was thinking like 140 and 30 a couple hours before bed but ill def tweak things around till I find what works best for me. Indigo I know I have OCD so some days its hard for me to control but you are right i need to stop the what ifs thats why i made my new year's resolution to stop living in the past and no more what ifs because its not healthy for my recovery and mostly my mental health. I could only control whats going on today not whats going on a week from now.

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Last edited by Bboy42287 on Tue Jan 17, 2012 11:57 am, edited 2 times in total.

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