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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 11:29 am 
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Hi guys, feeling pretty good these days. I am still at .25 mg a day. Do not plan to taper any lower for a few weeks. I believe I am stable at this dose. I have been sneezing so much. I guess it is the stacked up sub falling off my system. Even my 10 year old asked if I have allergies? I do have slight restless legs in the eve. I just decided that this is what it must be. Legs are not comfortable in any one position for very long. I feel like I need to stretch often and change position. Falling asleep and staying asleep great. Better than normal and I've tapered my Xanax to just 1mg at night aloing w/ my sleepytime extra tea. Works like a charm and I have always had sleep issues. Maybe since I am now in the 40yrs. and over club I can sleep better? lol.
Just wanted to update since I have not done it in a while. Have a great day all..


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:20 pm 
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Sneezing was always a good sign for me. It was like bits of bupe were sneezed out every time. I looked at it like the purging of bupe coming from my brain :D And yeah, I remember bupe being a more sneezey detox than the other stuff.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 11:46 pm 
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Hey Tear, wondering how YOU are doing? Seems everyone is going thru their own stuff right now. I sometimes wanna throw in the towel, but realise that it would make me feel worse so im on it for the long haul. I know you have your own unique issues you are dealing with. I know it can suck the happiness right out of ya. I hope you can find peace somewhere along your journey. Hopefully we all can at some point.
I have been experiencing intestinal upset every week or 2. I am NOT a sickly person. I thought it was due to having a new roomate &/or being exposed to others microbes (germs) But I am wondering if it is due to me being on such a low dose of sub? Or due to tapering? I have been at .25 for a couple weeks and just NOW getting what feels like a mild stomach flu (again) Could this be a withdrawl symptom creeping up so long after a decrease?
I HATE anything intestinal. I am tired of getting this every week or two. Bright side: I am not getting fat.~ Ok there is a bright side. But WTH?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 2:08 am 
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The sneezing is annoying, but it does go away eventually.

Maybe you are allergic to tapering :D

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 7:33 am 
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Thanks sweet16 I'm holding on. Got some head issues happening after that 6 month treatment ordeal but nothing that will make me use drugs.

No idea why you'd be feeling queazy there's that many variables in play. Maybe ur new housemate leaves the fridge door open too long and the ham's gone off?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 12:29 pm 
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Funny guys. I don't eat meat Tear but the fridge does not close properly. I am a vegetarian/vegan. maybe too many veggies. DOAQ that is a hoot. I am begining to believe that its Men. Everytime I commit to a date w/ a guy I really like, I get sick. GOD PLEASE STOP punishing me.....(hey it helped when I asked him to help my cravings go away)


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 12:32 pm 
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Oh by the way, I took 2 immodium lastnight due to intestinal upset. I felt like shit all night hardly slept had the serious sweats and had to take extra xanax to sleep. I still feel like HELL. If that is men Ill gladly be gay from now on. If it is the immodium who in the hell would rather feel like that than have the runs? GOSH I'll take the runs anyday............


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:42 pm 
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First date nerves?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 10:58 pm 
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Tear, eh...possibly the date thing, but I really think it was a bug or a combo of things. Tapering, maybe a microbe from tap water at a restaraunt, germs from the roommie or the kid even the damn cat that brings home rodents. I have never been a sickly person, now I am 40 and can feel a difference. I do think tapering has taken its toll on me. I plan to stay at .25 for a while. I just cut up 16 days worth of sub. I really do not know how you are getting thru your treatments and all. I feel for you. I should not complain and count my blessings. Hope you start feeling better Tear. And all of the forum members. We sure do create Hell for ourselves sometimes?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:32 pm 
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sweet16 wrote:
Tear, eh...possibly the date thing, but I really think it was a bug or a combo of things. Tapering, maybe a microbe from tap water at a restaraunt, germs from the roommie or the kid even the damn cat that brings home rodents. I have never been a sickly person, now I am 40 and can feel a difference. I do think tapering has taken its toll on me. I plan to stay at .25 for a while. I just cut up 16 days worth of sub. I really do not know how you are getting thru your treatments and all. I feel for you. I should not complain and count my blessings. Hope you start feeling better Tear. And all of the forum members. We sure do create Hell for ourselves sometimes?


Hi Sweet, just wanted to say I know exactly what u mean by tapering taking a toll. I felt that same way! Last winter I got sick all the time, felt old, looked tired & worn out. It's absolutely hard on one's body. It gets better. I promise. Your body will bounce back & recuperate. Give it some more time. Your jump is going to be a piece of cake if you keep this up.

Best of luck!

Laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 12:04 am 
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Now you mention it. I remember when I was clean those two times, for the first few months it was like my immune system wasn't what it shoulda been. Especially when I was in the rehab, everyone was getting sick!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 12:06 pm 
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Thanks Tear & LT, I am sort of glad to know this. I been sick and tired, tired and sick pretty much constantly for a few months. I DO know that a lot of the stacked up sub has been leaving my body for a couple weeks now. Lots of sneezing and tiredness. I am just NOW starting to recognise the intestinal discomfort. I have not experienced this thru out my tapering. I AM NOW! I too feel like I look like I am run down. I have bought so much makeup to try to look better. ( never worn much of the stuff)
I am going to consider this my final stage of tapering, then the step off.........Im excited and weary too....
How are you LT? Are you coming back around? I understand you were concearned w/ PAWS stuff.
Well another day here...... Hope ya all make it a good one. I going to do my BEST!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2012 4:01 pm 
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sweet16 wrote:
Thanks Tear & LT, I am sort of glad to know this. I been sick and tired, tired and sick pretty much constantly for a few months. I DO know that a lot of the stacked up sub has been leaving my body for a couple weeks now. Lots of sneezing and tiredness. I am just NOW starting to recognise the intestinal discomfort. I have not experienced this thru out my tapering. I AM NOW! I too feel like I look like I am run down. I have bought so much makeup to try to look better. ( never worn much of the stuff)
I am going to consider this my final stage of tapering, then the step off.........Im excited and weary too....
How are you LT? Are you coming back around? I understand you were concearned w/ PAWS stuff.
Well another day here...... Hope ya all make it a good one. I going to do my BEST!


I'm good, thank you. I really felt for a while after I jumped that the Sub was still slowly leaving my body. Of course, I can't prove it, but the symptoms got progressively worse, then evened out, and then they got better. In fact, they got way better. They now come in flashbacks. Still have GI issues, but not nearly as much and some days I'm even 'normal'. :D I really have no depression and my anxiety went away. I have no RLS or leg pains, my sleep has been decent, my energy has been good, and I have handled the cold weather just fine this year. The remaining stuff I get is mostly the weird hot/cold flashes and sweats from time to time. However, it's mild and really nothing to complain about. So, now I'm addressing my last bit of Klonopin. Slow taper to get off this stuff. I'm in no mood to make myself suffer. So far, so good for the most part. Once I'm done with my Klonopin, I will be 100% drug free. No drugs of any kind. YAY!!

This Sub thing is totally doable. I am not even six months out from jumping and, if it wasn't for the Klonopin taper, I'd have to say I feel pretty much normal, or at least close enough to normal to be good enough for me. I feel way better than last winter and a whole lot better than I felt on Sub. That is the honest truth, so I'm happy I completed this.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 9:31 pm 
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LT, This is fantastic! I am so very happy to read that you have returned to normal and that things are looking so bright for you. It helps me to know this. I was worried that my depression was going to get the best of me... The past 2 days (excluding today) I took an extra .125 of sub several hours after my morning dose. It had only been roughly 2 weeks since I had eliminated that eve. dose. I was feeling, the past week or so some signs of complete depression. Like I had nothing to live for. I mean I did not want to kill myself, but if I suddenly died, I would have been perfectly fine w/ that. I was wondering "What the heck am I here for? What is this life about?" You know all these questions about the meaning of life in general. I am so glad that I took extra sub. I feel like I have a handle on things better. I have a list of things I will do in the event I experience this again. It helps SO much to know that you are less than 6 months out and you have NO depression. THANK GOD! And congrats. I am very glad you did the taper and are now off sub. GOOD FOR YOU! And I am looking up to you Lt. Thank you for your wisdom and for sharing your experience.. You are truly a blessing to more people than you know...


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 1:44 am 
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sweet16 wrote:
LT, This is fantastic! I am so very happy to read that you have returned to normal and that things are looking so bright for you. It helps me to know this. I was worried that my depression was going to get the best of me... The past 2 days (excluding today) I took an extra .125 of sub several hours after my morning dose. It had only been roughly 2 weeks since I had eliminated that eve. dose. I was feeling, the past week or so some signs of complete depression. Like I had nothing to live for. I mean I did not want to kill myself, but if I suddenly died, I would have been perfectly fine w/ that. I was wondering "What the heck am I here for? What is this life about?" You know all these questions about the meaning of life in general. I am so glad that I took extra sub. I feel like I have a handle on things better. I have a list of things I will do in the event I experience this again. It helps SO much to know that you are less than 6 months out and you have NO depression. THANK GOD! And congrats. I am very glad you did the taper and are now off sub. GOOD FOR YOU! And I am looking up to you Lt. Thank you for your wisdom and for sharing your experience.. You are truly a blessing to more people than you know...



I hope I can give you hope! That is so important to you. Doing something that you expect will be kinda hard and unpredictable, especially, when you've never done it before, is scary. I was so scared that I'd never feel good again, but I honestly do. I really do.

I'm telling you, when I think of this time last year and how my life was, I'm kinda shocked. I'm not a crier or even a 'what-if-I-was-dead' questioner, etc. But I just shut down to where I'm in a shell. I think it's my manifestation of depression, know what I mean? Last year at this time, I was holed up, enjoying little to nothing, doing so very little. I can look back now and see how totally abnormal that was and I don't understand why it did not disturb me at the time. My life now is absolutely and totally different. I have so many people and things in my life now that I didn't have last year and LIFE IS FUN!!! My physical health feels better, and my mental health feels a zillion times better. I can actually think of witty things again and just hang out and cut up, KWIM? There are all these little things that I was not enjoying that are funny and meaningful now. And it's those things that are the reasons why it's so cool to be alive.

On the other hand, I can tell ya I get way grumpier and bitchier now too, lol. And when I get sick, like a normal cold, I feel so horrible. I either didn't get sick or really didn't feel it for years. I'm such a huge baby!

LT

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 1:38 pm 
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Today is the 2nd day I have just dosed my .25 in the am. ( after 2 days of taking .125 extra in the afternoon) I plan to stick here for a while. I am getting ready to get my butt moving. I do not want to give myself any down time. I want to keep active so my energy level does not decline. I am at such a low dose. I wonder if i stopped here what symptoms I would experience? I guess it does not matter because I am not going to stop here. At best I will finish the month at .25 then eliminate 1/4 each month till I am below 200 mcg. which is not far off. I am hoping this DHEA suppliment helps me with energy & mood. I will go get st. Johns wort. Does anyone have any other ideas on how to increase my energy? I would appreciate the info. Blessings guys...


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