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PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2010 9:33 am 
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hi, my name is matt weinrich and i was a very heavy drug/alcohol user thoughtout high school and college. then i found opiates and that was it. then i found oxycontin and it was by far drug of choice. did it for 4 years, lots my great job, my apartment, my family and my friends. i went to rehab and was on suboxone for 2 years. at first i was on 16mg/day for my high usage. i worked down to to 8mg then i went to the dr to find my health ins (now cobra) will no longer cover my dr appointment (making over 200 more per month) and no longer cover suboxone (over 735 month). now, i cannot even come close to affording it, so i had to go cold turkey after 8mgs. i was beyond scared, i went through countless oxy WDs and was so scared. now i have always been physically fit and active (gym 5 times a week even while on oxy). i have been able to goto the gym even on my 9th day. the big deal is, mind over matter for me. i havent slept in 4+ days (lose count) because of my legs and overall irritation. i have a real bad back, and that has become a real problem again and hurts to get up from the sitting position. however, on an oxy WD - i was unable to get out of bed. i did it for 4 days until my friend (and i mean my 1 friend) drove me to rehab. there i was on subs and life was normal. now there is no loooking back. i am trying my best to battle this WD - but let me tell you, do not fear it being as bad as an OXY WD. that was 5 times worse. i am not saying this is pleasant, but set a couple goals per day and try to get out of bed and shower and eat and walk around or goto gym or park. its been difficult and i hope to sleep soon because that is killing me. ok, enough rambling, i think i have lost my mind from lack of sleep. i hope this may help people who have health ins problems like me.....


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PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2010 9:46 am 
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Hello fathead and welcome to the forum. We're so glad you posted your story. It's always great to hear someone who can counter the horror stories about suboxone withdrawals making your eyeballs pop out! I'm so sorry you're still having trouble sleeping. That really sucks. Have you tried any OTC sleep aids yet? Even if to only get one or two nights sleep - you shouldn't get any ill effects from that.

All things considered I think you're doing GREAT! Again, welcome!

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PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2010 9:52 am 
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hi there - i did actually get about 3 hours of sleep last night with advil PM. so i did sleep. but i wanted to post my story before i am gone for the weekend. you have been a great help for me, and i hope that i am close to the point of sleep and feeling 100% better. but people, i was on subs for 2 years after 4 years oxys. i stopped cold turkey on 8mgs last tuesday morning at 6am. trust me, its not nearly as bad as an oxy WD when i couldnt even get up out of bed, i didnt eat, i didnt shower, i didnt do anything. sleep is the big thing with a little anxiety and a little restless leg in there. but i mean, hell - i goto a damn fitness class at the gym and do ok (not as good as normal), but i go. i am going soon today. hat - thanks you so very much for being there for me, thank you for this site, and thanks for the support. as hat knows, i dont have any besides 1 person. i have nothing much besides 1 person in my life who loves me even though she never used drugs ever at all. so i am lucky for that.


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PostPosted: Thu May 20, 2010 8:08 pm 
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I am really sorry to hear about your insurance situation but I am very glad you have posted about your WD experience. I have to agree with you that it isn't nearly as bad as oxycontin withdrawal. It is important for people to hear that. I think all of your exercising is probably helping you considerably.

Hang in there. Take care!
Cherie


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PostPosted: Fri May 21, 2010 8:40 am 
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for me, the support i have recieved on this site is more than i have since rehab. i dont have much at all, but thanks for listening. the WD isnt that bad, just sleep really. thanks for listening and replying. be happy on subs, but if for some unfortunate situation comes up where you cant, dont be as scared as most poeple make u


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PostPosted: Fri May 21, 2010 9:59 am 
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Hi Matt,

Wow, you are doing awesome! Thanks so much for posting your story. I live in Canada, where Sub is almost unheard of. I found a doctor that prescribes sub for me for pain, but I am always terrified that for some reason he will not be able to do that any more, and he is also clsoe to retiring so I'm afraid that I will just be cut off sub some day, so it's always good to hear stories like yours after all the horror stories I've read before about detoxing form sub.

You are doing so well! I am really sorry to hear about your insurance problems. You certainly have a good attitude about it. I am sorry to hear that you don't have much support. Does your girlfriend know anything about it?
Anyway, again I am happy to hear that you are doing so well. The sleep will come, it's always the last thing to go away, for me at least. I always know when I start sleeping well again, that things are getting better.

have an awesome weekend, and please keep posting your progress!

Ginger


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PostPosted: Mon May 24, 2010 8:42 am 
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hi ginger - thanks for checking in on me. still, the sleep is last for me as well - it always is. to start, i dont sleep well normally - so its like extra hard for me to sleep. i am starting to get a couple hours with OTC sleep aids. dont be too nervous about subs, just be smart and taper off very gradually like people suggest - i wish i would have. its been almost 2 full wweeks, i feel good though. thanks again, and feel free to ask me questions at anytime


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:35 am 
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today is my 3rd week with no subs at all and i havent been on this site for awhile. i wanted to update anyone who has read my posts. i started getting sleep a couple days ago and it feels great. i still workout almost daily. i am feeling mentally and physically strong. i have the firemans test coming up july 31st - so wish me luck on that. i absolutely would have stayed on subs if it wasnt for my financial situation and not having anymore cobra health insurance. but, i dont have a job or health ins anymore. so i was literally forced to quit after taking 8mgs of suboxone for about 2 years (after going from 16 to 8 in that time frame). I seem to be a few days behind Shelwoy in this process, unfortunately i dont have anything to help with WDs. however, I have come to find that the WDs are manageable. I am feeling good, finally getting sleep (this was the hardest thing for me - advil PM helped, just dont take more than it says). i have a strong desire to find a good job. i want to be the guy my GF deserves. without her i have nothing. the past 20 days, i have realized how little support i have. i have recieved literally no phone calls, texts, emails or anything - except from my wonderful girl. so i am beyond grateful for her. its just sad that i used to have so many friends and i ruined all of those relationships. i dont blame any of them from distancing themselves from me. but with my mind clearing up - i do notice that i am alone in many ways. however, with my motivation coming back to get up off my lazy butt and get back to work and treat my girl like the princess that she is for sticking with me, i still am grateful to have that. thanks to anyone who has messaged with me or read my posts during my jump from full suboxone to nothing. its been very rough at times, but NEVER ever as bad as OxyContin WD. i have been able to eat and get some sleep and workout and go out with my girl to dinner or a movie or whatever. so thanks to everyone for their support. i hope my story has helped some people with their fears in case something happens where they have to stop taking suboxone. please do it smarter than i did. use a taper method or something. i just 1 day went to my dr appt and when they tried to charge me over 4 times more than i normally was charged, i just couldnt afford that or my script for subs.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:49 am 
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I am so glad you're finally getting some sleep! I can only imagine how good that must feel. And thank you for reiterating how manageable sub w/d's can be, especially compared to the hellish symptoms when going off full agonists.

You're doing great! And I wish you the very best on the fire fighter's exam...I know you'll do great! Hang in there and keep on keeping us posted from time to time.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:24 pm 
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I am really glad you are doing ok and sorry to hear you don't have a whole lot of support. That seems to be quite typical of those in suboxone withdrawal. I think it is awesome that you have taken the time to reach out and try to help others with your experience. It is a big deal for people to hear from someone doing well even though it is clearly no picnic. I think you will find your post helps more people than you will ever know.

I hope you stick around to get some of the support you need not only now but as you continue to face life without sub or any other opiate. It can be quite rough at times.

Hang in there.

Cherie


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 8:31 am 
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well i am almost 4 weeks on without subs or opiates, and getting good sleep and things are going well. i started getting full nights of sleep wihtout sleep aids about 4 days ago. it feels great. i went out of town this past weekend for a wedding my gf was in, and i felt some anxiety to be around her friends and family that i dont know well without being on some substance, but it went well. it was just a little mind over matter because i am adjusting to a clean and sober life. for work, i finally had an interview and am waiting to hear back. i also am now taking 2 firefighter tests coming up. my desire and motivation has gone up so much the past week or two that i am feeling like myself again for the first time in awhile. i just wanted to update my story for anyone who may have had the same issue as me and had to stop after a higher dosage. tapering down is ideal - but if you have to go off at a higher dose, its not even close to a full oxy WD or full opiate WD. its much easier if you stick with it. thanks to everyone on this site for their support. it has meant more to me than any of you know.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 8:35 am 
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YAY you, fathead! I can't tell you how pleased I am to hear that you're doing so well. And it sounds like you did really well in a situation (the wedding) that could easily be said to cause triggers. Again, YAY YOU! Thanks for keeping us posted.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:02 am 
Hi Fathead. I wanted to add my thanks to you for posting your w/d experiences. You have confirmed what I have always believed....that anyone who has survived cold-turkey w/d from relatively high doses of full-agonist opiates, will find Suboxone w/d an 'easier' experience in comparison. When I withdrew from hydrocodone, oxycodone, Fentanyl and Demerol, I was like you.....there was barely even any getting into an upright position for the first several days of that! Even when the 'worst' was over, it was all I could do to get in the shower and get dressed, much less get anything done!
Anyway, thanks for posting about your Sub w/d. I know it's been far from 'easy.' But you make it sound doable at least! I'm sorry your treatment had to end the way it did. That was really unfair to you. It sounds like you've decided to make the best of it and that is something that I hope you are proud of! Good luck with your upcoming plans and I hope you'll keep posting!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 9:55 pm 
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thank you so much hat and setmefree. its the replies i get and the messages i get on here that have been my best support system. setmefree - i 100% agree when you say quitting cold turkey from a full-agonist opiates (for me it was always oxycontin) was so much harder. i remember never getting up or showering or eating or anything. the suboxone WD - i barely lost my appetite at all. its so much easier, and i didnt even taper like i should have. but thanks again for your responses everyone - this site has been my main source of support and it means a lot!! i just wanted to get on here and dispell a lot of the myths of suboxone WD. i am not going to lie - i was very scared about it after reading a lot of the WD experience on different sites and even this one. but this site also has many people who have talked about there easier sub exp and i just wanted to share my 2 cents, in case anyone may have to go through what i did


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 2:46 am 
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very incouraging stuff indeed. First of all, congrats to fathead for the successful jump and I hope you have a good support system set up aside from our forum. I am also tapering down and at 8mg's per day and after reading your post I am contimplating jumping off now instead of waiting till i get down to 2mgs/day.

I was wondering how old you are becasue I am 24 and in really good condition as far as lifting weights and cardio everyday I have found that other young people that excercis manage sub WD's fairly well. Just a thought

Anyhow good for you stay strong.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 8:33 am 
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hi youngaddict, i am 27 right now (28 right around the corner). the hardest adjustment was the clean and sober life around my gfs family and friends with a little anixety. i know it sounds stupid, and i have met most of them - but usually under a controled substance (never out of control, just to take the edge off). but when i was home, thats was when i was a big user on everything until i found OCs, tthen thats all i wanted. i would still reccomend tapering down thats when i used much as possible. there are reports on people on here who found very little WD symptoms that way. unfortunately i went off at 8mg. now it wasnt pleasant. but i went through full OC WD many times before, and this was noting like that. i would push myself to get up and work out daily, and that does help. i have always been big into my workout regime and eating right and i much admit it helps. somedays you need to force yourself to go, but i always felt better after. and i am glad to say that today being 28 days clean, i feel great. i have another job interview tomorrow, and those 2 firefighter tests coming up in july. i am ready to get back on my feet and be the guy my girl deserves. she stuck with me through so many bad times (which otherwise have caused me to lose all my friends, job and apartment). now i am ready to do good in my life and i am feeling much better everyday. i will tell you, this website forum has been the best support system i could ask for - and i know i keep saying this - but thank you to everyone, it means more than you now.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 5:29 pm 
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fathead:

Your story is an inspiration. Considering all the horror stories that circulate about Sub withdrawals, it's good for everyone to know that you jumped from 8 mg and you made it through just fine. It's a bummer that your circumstances led you to jump off from that dose, but hey- you made it. I took my last dose of 250 mcg on Sunday, so this is Day 2 for me. I was a runner for many years, I ran the mile in 4:20 when I was 18 years old (only a few years ago) so lately I've been reconnecting with running- you make hugely valid points about getting up, showering, eating breakfast, and just having things to do. Today, for instance, I sat in the sun for 15 minutes which made me feel better for a while. The withdrawals are nothing compared to a full agonist, it's just hard for people to recall old misery when they're going through some new one, it's really just not that bad though, people don't want to feel any pain and after a long bout of feeling good on Sub it's all the more unsettling. I'd take Sub wd's over heroin wd's any day... Jumping from 250 mcg is definitely exponentially easier than 8 mg so I commend you again. Also- I don't have any support either and it would certainly be nice to, but in the end all you really have is yourself with this shit. Someone said to me once that if you're gonna relapse, you're gonna-- your mind is made up, no one's gonna stop you, so who do you depend on then beside yourself? This board is a great device for support and it seems like you're getting out of it what I am. Good luck to you on your fire fighters exams and everything else dude.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 7:03 pm 
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EMJ - thank you for your response, 1 thing you said stuck with me. People get comfortable on subs for awhile and dont recall how difficult it was to jump off full-agonist opiates. if you truly think about it, think about how it felt the several times going cold turkey for H or come OCs or your drug of choice. for me, i was so out of it that i would get very light headed just standing up. but of subs, i have gotten up everyday, worked out, golfed, met people i didnt know, never lost my appetite. people just hate the current WD they are on. but if you keep with it everything wiill be just fine. Thank you so much for chiming in on my post. i am glad to see others have gone through what i have. the support here is amazing and can help anyone. dont listen to the horror stories on here or other sites. set a few goals a day, try to exercise, and you will be just fine ebfore you know it. Suboxone did save my life, as i did bury 3 friends before i turned 25 - so for that i am forever grateful. but since i was unable to take suboxone anymore, i was nervous for no reason. i have an interview tomorrow and a firefighter test easly next month. i will try to keep my post updated and i hope it can give others hope.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:10 am 
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its been a long time since i have been on this forum - but thought i would update my "jump" from 8mgs. it has been just over 11 weeks (i only can keep track because i wrote it down on my calendar) - and I am feeling great. I have not relapsed, nor have i come close. i have been extremely active, working out and just being around as many people as possible. i am still trying to get a job and in a couple days have the firefighter test - but that is the worst thing. i will get a sense of pride back once i land a job. i have had several interviews, but being out of work for awhile has made it difficult. anyways, i wanted to thank this website for supporting me through the tough times. i have mentioned this, but have only 1 person for support here - so this website got me through the tough times of w/d and cravings. every week gets better and i am just so glad to be where i am at. my relationships are getting better with my girl - and even a couple of friends i lost within the past couple years. 2 people have come to visit me and it feels great to have real friends again. so thanks again to everyone, i hope my story can someone going through what i did


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:16 am 
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Fathead, it is so good to hear from you again!! I'm happy to know you're doing so well. I know I've said it before, but with all the horror stories out there about the hellish nature of sub withdrawals, it's good to know it's doesn't have to be that way. I honestly think one's state of mind is paramount in getting through it on such a positive note. Often it's the expectation that makes it worse. You didn't expect it to be bad and you made it through just fine. I'm proud of you! Keep up the good work and keep us posted on how you're doing.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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