It is currently Mon Aug 21, 2017 7:52 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2015 11:18 pm 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 10:52 pm
Posts: 3
i have never told anyone this, no one knows! I have posted on other forums and not received answers, not exactly helpful or encouraging but, it is what it is. Hope I get a reply here. I'm inclined to quit trying if I don't get a response soon and I really feel like a support system is crucial, even a virtual support system like this, opposed to none at all. Please help!!!

I'll try to make this as pain-free as possible for everyone. I have a pretty long-standing high-dose opioid habit and I've run out of supply. I would like to say that I am mentally prepared to kick but, to be honest, I know I'm not. I still 1. Have a pain issue that I need pain meds for and, 2. Psychologically really enjoy them. 3. I am scared $#!+less!
I was wondering if it was possible that a doctor would put me on Suboxone/Subutex as a pain/addiction maintenance or if it has to be strictly with intentions to taper and kick.
I have done a LOT of research, I know the physiological actions of the drug, how it works in your brain, and all that. I am just super curious and anxious about how it feels, does it string you out or do you lean more towards a nod? Is it super nasty tasting? I gag just thinking about hydro, that bitter, dry, chalky feeling, ugh.
Is it covered by state insurance/Medicare? The Dr. In my area accepts it, I'm just completely flat broke so even, no exaggeration, $5 would be too much.
I am equally afraid of withdrawals on any level as I am Sub.. I have only ever experienced very mild withdrawals in my 2+ yrs. of use.
I believe I am one of the few un-lucky people who do not absorb opiate properly. Within 6 mos. of use I could hardly catch a rip from 150mg. Oxy. + 120 mg. Morphine ER at a time. As you can imagine, it got pricey fast.
Is Suboxone going to work for me considering the resistance I have to opiates?
Now I'm rambling. Sorry everyone, any help appreciated. I'm so scared I've literally been crying all day and really really really wanting to fix but can't because I'm broke. It is Sunday evening. All I have is enough to keep me out of WD till about Tuesday early AM, hell is on my heels and catching up fast. Plus, I am a single mom with 3 kids, can't be sick, not an option.
Sorry, rambling again. Any help greatly appreciated!

Afterthought: Will he tell my other Dr.'s\anyone? Will I be black listed? I have severe case of Rheumatoid Arthritis and it's almost certain that at some point in the future I will be in enough pain to need pain management. Will that be an option for me later in life?
One more question, I have alway been afraid to go to the Dr., sometimes even when I should have been hospitalized for mental issues, I stuck it out because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able access my drugs and have to detox/be found out. What would happen if I were to be in an accident or need surgery? If I told the Dr. Of my tolerance, he would obviously know i was an addict. Would he still treat my pain? If so, would he treat it with the appropriate dosage for managing my pain, or not at all? Just curious.....have a great night.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2015 12:51 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 10:48 pm
Posts: 1316
Hello CJH,
So glad you found this forum. I feel it is the best most informed of all recovery /Buprenorphine sites. There is so much to see and learn from here.
Sorry your in the opiate war. Hard place to be when in active addiction. I know, ive been there. Been clean using suboxone for over four years now. Id like to say if i can anyone can, and they do. Hope you are reading the many positive threads here .
I would like you to know that you could do very well on sub treatment. You ve asked many questions but I have one for you though.
Are you ready to do what it takes to start? Sounds like you want help. We re all here to help and support you Cj.

So you have pain issues, for some people Buprenorphine can help for pain. It could for you. You are on a fairly high dose of opiates now, but after 2 years maybe a break from thoses to sub would be a better choise. Cant say for sure. You would need to try.
And mentally we All llve for our oipates when useing. Thats something we all delt with in the begining too. This where peer support or counseling can help. It is often said here and it is true: Its not the stopping, its the staying stopped thats hard.With a maintenance dose of Buprenorphine the stopping and staying stopped comes much easier. This lifesaving med will take the WD s away, but most importantly keep the cravings away. Im sure your sub dr will take into account your tolerance when he/she rx..
Being scared is ok. Its natural. Its change. Its losing our old friend oipates. Its fear of the future, maybe fear of failure. But you know what, I had this too. Many of my friends in sub treatment did too. Im sure you can do this too CJ.

If you want to try this and are sick of the "life",sick of runing out, and everything that comes with it, please tomarrow, call the dr you know of and see how fast you can get in. I need to warn you it can take alittle time. If they have an opening maybe you could get right in.
Ive never felt string out, just normal . I didnt ever feel over medicated though it can happen in the induction phase. Once stablized you will feel normal and very good. This is my experience after a 3 year addiction with a tolerance up to 230mgs a day of oxy/vics..
Taste? Not bad. Though ive only taken the orange fav suboxone films. I understand the others are not unpleasant. For real. If your dr takes State ins/medicare then you should be ok. Hopelly they have an opening.

I just wanted to welcome you CJ, and i know others will too. I have to roll the dice to get my life back, i was scared too. But if you want this by all means call this dr asap.

Also ,if you would go over to Dr Junigs Talkzone, he owns this forum, he has posts of everything related to Buprenorphine treatment and they are the true facts of the matter. No bs. No fear tactics, just the real deal.ok?Buprenorphine will work for you.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2015 1:31 am 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2015 10:52 pm
Posts: 3
Thank you so much for replying, and for your support. I so badly want out from under this, I just don't feel like I have the will power. Scary, but equally scary continuing this way. My life is in shambles. Everything is gone. I dug this hole, now I have to figure out how to climb out.
I am hoping I gain the willpower over time while suboxone acts as my fill-in willpower in the meantime. Does that make sense? I'm just afraid of the crappy feeling and I'm afraid of feeling either sick or doped up. I don't feel either on opiates anymore but I know I don't feel anything the right way anymore, haven't for a long time.
I have other medical issues, lots of other medication, and other mental health issues as well. I'm afraid my medications will interact, I'm afraid im going to hurt ( I have severe and very active Rheumatoid Arthritis). I'm afraid of withdrawls, even for just a day before induction. Im scared it won't help, I'm afraid I won't be able to care for my kids if I do, and if I don't. Just so much fear that it's crippling.
I'm completely alone, zero support. No one knows and no one would care if they did, I have no one. My kids can never know.
I have literally been so paralyzed by this that I considered suicide, still in the back of my mind but I'm too chicken for that too, luckily I guess.
One question, am I going to still be able to take my Valium? It is prescribed to me, I just don't know if the Dr. Will allow me to take it and I absolutely need it. The anxiety is overwhelming and if I couldn't take it, I would already have committed suicide long ago just to escape it.
I have been diagnosed with Bipolar, although I have only had one manic episode in 10 yrs. I spend all my time severely depressed and my marriage just fell apart suddenly and my life turned completely upside down.
I guess i am really rambling but it feels so good to get it out, even if it's just typing to strangers. I really appreciate the support, I wouldn't make it through the night without that little bit of caring from someone. I have my first therapy session tomorrow, no one know about my addiction, I'm not sure I'll be able to tell the therapist about this or not. It's been my dirty secret for so long now I have made it my part time job to protect it. My full time job was staying in the habit, feeding it, and figuring out either where to score, how to afford it, or how much I have left, how far it will get me, and promising myself I'm going to taper then gobbling it all up in the first few hours. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Thank you, if I could hug you I would. I've posted on 3 different boards, yours was the only response. Made me feel even worse. Thank you!


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2015 7:09 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Mon Sep 09, 2013 4:49 pm
Posts: 517
cjh

I felt similar to you. I also have RA and other pain issues so i had fear that sub wouldn't take care of the pain. Sub has actually helped more than opiates for me. I feel more alive and my pain is covered. Once in a while i have a flare up but that happened on opiates also. I am also on other meds and the pharmacist knows what i take and confirmed it was ok to continue with the sub.

I am glad to hear you have a therapy session coming up. I go to an addiction therapist and i can tell him honestly how i feel. He understands and really helps me. Sub was my last hope. I was so depressed on the opiates and was taking more and more to try and feel ok and cover my pain, it was a never ending cycle.

My experience has been positive for both pain and cleaning up the mess i made of my life.

edit: I felt more anxiety when using opiates then on suboxone. For me i think the opiates triggered something because i would have panic/anxiety for a week at a time, get a 2 day break and be back to anxiety so bad i couldn't sit still. I have to run to work but believe me i can so relate to you! Please stick around this board, read and post because so many good people are here. Razor is a great guy :D


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2015 11:00 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2014 10:48 pm
Posts: 1316
Cj,
TIKI and now For My Kids have both given you two great examples of how it is, and how it can be for you CJ..

Please get started. Just go forward with it.. Your stuck..Your life it just stuck..You can rebuild it. More so than you can believe right now.
Everything you are saying is the definition of Opiate Addiction CJ. We All have been though this. I know i was at the end on the day I had nothing.. Wife gone,house,money,savings,retirement, all of it...gone..Im telling you this because Ive made a come back and I couldnt have done it without HELP AND SUB.. No way..id be dead..dead...Save yourself, a d raise thoses kids. You can be happy again, but it takes work on your part, nobody can do this for you. You CAN do this .
I know you can..
Look, you have made 3 new friends already here. Others will come too. We all will be here for you. I hope you call today, or have that therapist help you.

Some drs are ok with benzos an subs, some are not. Dont worry on it. Get started . ..keep posting CJ....


Razor


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2015 1:57 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Wed Mar 18, 2015 6:46 pm
Posts: 167
Location: Alabama
cjh1221,

I hope your appointment went very well and that you were able to talk to them about the things you wrote about. I especially hope that you were able to get in touch with a doctor who can start you on Suboxone to help relieve all the problems that opiods are causing. Keep on keeping on!!!

Please Note - Suboxone is not a "magic bullet"; it helps SO MUCH, primarily by relieving you of the physical symptoms of withdrawal and cravings, allowing you to work on the other issues in your life that are causing you trouble and driving you to opioids.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group