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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 4:12 pm 
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Today is a semi good day. I get random periods of getting up and doing something. I still just want to sit and stare into space, but I force myself to di a little something. I made the bed today and my mother started crying bc I never do that. I just wish I wanted to do stuff. The depression is pretty bad and I still have an anchor on each leg, but it feels lighter than a few days ago. I haven't had any desire to use anything in the past two days, but that comes and goes. I had a bad experience the other day and I think I needed that so I could see the negative side of the medication (or what normal people feel when they take the medicine for the first time) instead of the way I used to see it as a crutch for the time being to improve life.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 9:42 am 
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DAY 12

Went out to dinner last night and felt pretty good until after I finished eating my super smelling powers kicked in, but fine right after I left. Woke up early 7:45.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 7:11 pm 
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Today I have a better mood and depression is not that bad. I take advil for the flu like body aches I get, but they are minimal. I am cold, but it's a freakin blizzard outside and in the negatives with 18 inches of snow on the ground. Organizing the house and unpacking boxes helps with mood and energy level. I haven't had to take my afternoon doses of vistaril or clonidine in two days and my anxiety is almost non existant. I didn't feel like I needed a nap today so that is good, but my throat is getting sore today. If you just tell yourself you have the cold or flu instead of withdrawals it makes it more tolerable. High definition is new to me as all the sudden it's very bright. I guess I didn't realize my vision wasn't up to par.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 7:16 pm 
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Sounds like your doing good that's awesome. I'm day 8 today and ive asked this many times lol but do u still have restless legs/arms? If not u remember what day it went away?


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 8:11 pm 
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Mine lasted until about day 8. I occassionally will get a twinge of it in my feet or calves if I sit to long but I just walk around and it helps. I was also given clonodine and vistaril which helped. I didn't get it in my arms but that's probably bc I tapered to such a low dose.

You are doing fine, it's not as tough as you think it's going to be. Last year I had the flu and that kicked my ass compared to this.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 5:36 pm 
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DAY 13

Hit a speed bump today. Tired and depressed. Can't seem to get moving at all today. I have a headache and some bodyaches. I tell myself that it's just my brain healing. No motivation at all today. I'm going out to dinner in a little while so hopefully that will help.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 6:10 pm 
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Hey pinkBarbie!
Looks like your doing pretty damn good. I see your feeling a little tired and Depressed. I can Relate. I think that sub lingers in your system in Tiny amounts for a couple months. 37.5 Hour Half life meaning every 37.5 Hours, half of whatever you have in your system is eliminated. I would expect the up's and downs and force yourself to go out and fight it. Don't forget that this is temporary. I find myself sometimes obsessing about PAWS and when I recognize it, I get out and do whatever I can to feel better.

Remember, your life is waiting for you at the finish line! The harder you fight, the quicker you'll get there! GL

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 7:42 pm 
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pinkbarbie, for me it was 17 days until I felt fine. I just looked at my log. After that I suffered from mild PAWS until the 35th day. Mostly a dry cough and sleep disturbance. I took no supplement or medication. I wanted to break the habit of putting something in my mouth in response to any physical or emotional discomfort.
I think you are really close. Good luck.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:45 pm 
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DAY 14: mostly good day. When I woke up I was zombified but I took a shower and worked in the basement for awhile unpacking and then went to a dinner party which for the first time I had two episodes of happiness that wasn't faked. They didn't last long but I felt normal for two 10 minute periods so that'ssomething.

I honestly hate what subutex/ suboxone did to me. I wish I had never been on it. It totally took away my personality, friendships, life, motivation, job, feelings, care etc. i kinda had a bad doc who only put me on it bc he couldn't prescribe lortabs anymore and did it purely for the money. I didn't know the equivalents of lortabs to suboxone and the month before I quit his NP informed me that the first 5 years I was on it I was at a way higher dose than where I was with lortabs and that suboxone was much stronger so I don't really get it, but there's no use harping on it now.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 1:27 pm 
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DAY 15

Made it past two weeks. Aside from runny nose and some bodyaches I'm ok on acute symptoms. The PAWS is still there though. Malingering dysphoria is what I feel and I'm either cold or hot, but nothing to bad. All the things and hobbies I enjoyed doing while on subs I have no desire to do, yet all the things I hated doing on subs such as getting ready, leaving the house, visiting with others I enjoy doing.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2014 1:36 pm 
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DAY 16

Woke up feeling good and rested. Yesterday I felt like I had a cold. Just showered and I feel rejuvenated, but still not really wanting to do anything that I used to love to do.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 11:39 am 
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DAY 17

I feel okay, I just wish I felt like doing stuff.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:12 pm 
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Feel really good right now. I took a nap and when I woke up I felt energized and rested. I worked in the basement for a couple hours, which is a lot bc it is really cold down there as the heat hasn't been fixed yet and as you know during withdrawals you are already cold. I have periods of feeling normal. I feel like I'm past the second hurdle of five. Don't know how I came to that number but that's what my head is telling me. I haven't had any cravings lately, I just crave to want to do stuff like I did on lortabs or subs. I feel so lazy.
As far as sleep goes, I think I am the only person who hasn't been sleep deprived during withdrawals. Since night one I have slept between 9-11 hours plus a nap each day. I've always complained about how I sleep to much so it was in my head that I would sleep just fine. However, when I went thru lortab withdrawals I didn't sleep. I also never had any withdrawals when tapering my sub doses. Again, it was in my head that I'm still dosing why should I get sick. When I jumped from 8mg to 4mg I felt absolutely no difference so that mentally made me feel like it was no biggie to taper. I haven't had any belly laughs yet and I'm looking forward to that.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 10:56 pm 
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lol @ bellylaughs

Your doing amazing! It's crazy to me that you never had a problem sleeping.. You must have a good conscience. That lazy feeling starts to go away around the third and fourth week. After that it's just lingering shit. Your posts are very insightful, and I enjoy reading them! Keep it up :D

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 6:14 pm 
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DAY 18

Made it another day. I do still sneeze but it's not that bad. Still very tired but at least I do sleep. Not as cold anymore. Going out for a nice dinner tonight and looking forward to it.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 1:40 pm 
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DAY 19

Woke up and didn't need an advil for a headache, which was a first. I noticed last night that my sex drive is coming back with a vengeance after being gone for so long. Still sneezing and have a runny nose and I still feel like a bump on a log, but semi small steps each day. Day 1 seems like yesterday so it's been a bittersweet ride.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 1:57 pm 
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things will keep getting better! It took a couple of months for me to want to really get out and do stuff I used to enjoy. Now I can't stop doing the things I missed out on during my addiction. I snowboard every weekend(haven't gone at all in 6 years), I play music again, study hard in school, and just get out of the house as much as I can. I never thought I would get out of that "lack of energy phase", but before you know it you will be back to your old self. Soon enough you won't even think about subs or PAWS or anything because you will be back to normal. It just needs some time.

The first few months is the hardest and I slipped a few times because of the cravings, depression and lack of energy, but I eventually just decided to give it time and stop the drugs completely. I am now at about 3 months with nothing and feel good all day/night. I honestly can't remember the last time I didn't feel good.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 10:04 pm 
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DAY 20

Today I felt really sluggish and some mild body aches. Still no desire to do anything.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 24, 2014 1:54 pm 
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DAY 21-22

Just lack of motivation, but other than that I feel pretty good. Not much energy and I still have a runny nose but it's really not that bad. I have gotten out the past two days to get things off my mind.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 24, 2014 3:18 pm 
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Keep fighting ok Pinkbarbie. It's a process that takes time. I realize after the 21-22 days, you begin to wonder if it's ever going to get better. But it really does and you have to make yourself believe that. Do all the things that help the process....drink plenty of fluids, eat right, exercise, exercise, exercise as much as you possibly can. Even when you don't feel like moving is the best time to do it!

Getting out like you did had to help also. Try not to sit around the house. Get in the car and go for a ride if you can. Take short walks frequently. Anything but sitting around thinking about it. Hot baths a couple times daily. Good vitamins and supplements will also help.

Get mad if you have to. Think of it as a battle that you WILL win. Your doing awesome and should be very proud of how far you've come. You have to be near the top of the mountain right now. Can't be much longer and it's all downhill and feeling much better! Take care!

Karen


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