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PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 10:52 am 
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DAY 9

Woke up feeling a little bit better. I forgot to mention that my sense of smell is crazy. I would have thought I was pregnant if I hadn't known better. When I went to the grocery store it was horrible when I passed the rotisserie chickens and the seafood area. I hope I feel like doing something today.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 12:37 pm 
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HELP:
I have been so proud of myself and excited about being drug free, but as I was taking sime Immodium I noticed my mother had some cough syrup with hydrocodone in it. I wasn't strong enough to not take a swig. I didn't tell her and bless her heart she has no clue there is any opioids in it. I just wanted to want to do something. It's been so long since I had any hydrocodone and I'm scared that I woke the beast within. I feel horrible for doing it, which is a good thing, but I feel warm, fuzzy and happy at the same time. I have been drug free for 9 days and even though it's been rough I saw light at the end of the tunnel. Now, I'm worried that I have to start the withdrawal process all over again. Does that mean I start from the beginning or just pick up where I left off from? I feel like a piece of shit. I feel like I let myself and my family down, but I will not tell them. The only positive is that I have no doctor to prescribe me anything and I don't know any street dealers.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 1:14 pm 
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Wow Barbie - An hour and a half ago you were doing pretty good. Not perfect, but hanging in there. It's amazing how our thought process and addict minds can change so fast. The temptation is crazy isn't it?

Well, just like another member told on himself yesterday that he had slipped, you had the courage to do the same. So I do congratulate you for doing that just as I did him. First thing I would do is have your mom put the cough syrup away, or pour it down the drain if she no longer uses it. If you have it around and know it's there, it's too easy to repeat that swig, especially seeing how it made you get that "feeling" once again. The beast won't stop easily unless you cut off all sources to it.

If you just took a small gulp of the syrup then you shouldn't have to worry about any withdrawals hitting you. But if you take more then it's possible some symptoms could be present. Quit now while you're ahead ok?

Seeing as it was just one sip I wouldn't think you need to start the days over. That's my opinion ok. If you spent a few days doing it then that's different.

Pinkbarbie23 wrote:
The only positive is that I have no doctor to prescribe me anything and I don't know any street dealers.
I don't know about you, but if I REALLY wanted to get any kind of drugs I could do it in a matter of hours! And there is also no doctor to prescribe me anything, and I don't know any street dealers right now either. I had another chick in an NA meeting a while back tell the group that she could be in a town, and on a road that she had never seen either before, and find some drugs before noon! I think that's pretty accurate too.

Point is, you have to WANT to stop the madness because drugs are always going to be within reach for all of us! Take care and keep posting. I care about you and want you to live.

Karen


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 1:53 pm 
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I probably took a tsp full, but to me it's not about the dosage it's about cheating myself. The funny part is I took it to get up and get moving and that worked for a few minutes, but now I feel tired and almost comatose. I'm hot now instead of cold.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 2:35 pm 
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Hi Pinkbarbie,

I'm sorry to hear that your addiction snuck up behind you and surprised you like that. Unfortunately, that's what addiction is SO good at! :(

I don't know if that one swig derailed your progress or not, but it's still time to pick yourself up and decide if you're going to proceed with stopping sub or rethinking that decision.

I am like you in that I've never had experience in getting pills from anyone but my doctor. That doesn't make me any less of an addict, but I wouldn't know how to begin to find pills off the street. I don't think that's enough protection for you though. If I were desperate enough I imagine I'd find a way. And there will always be medicine cabinets to look through.

I'm sorry to be negative, but I think the incident with your mom's cough syrup means that you're not ready to be without suboxone. You don't really have a recovery game plan besides not knowing how to find drugs easily. I do think you need more work on your recovery before you stop the sub.

I do wish you the best and I hope that you are successful in whatever you decide.

Amy

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 3:05 pm 
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You are awesome~ I am down to what i think is probably around .33 a day. I have been on subs for 6 years. Scared to death to jump. Thank You for posting this!!!!!!!!!!!! :D


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 4:13 pm 
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Hey PinkBarbie23.
I hope you don't get down about this. Try to accept that you made this decision and flush that junk. I know how difficult it can be just thinking about the long road that lies ahead, but after the first three weeks its more than manageable. I'm no doc, but a teaspoon of cough syrup might set you back a couple days. Don't look at this as falling down, look at this as an opportunity to prove to yourself that you can get back up with vengeance. You have to reestablish your ability to make rational decisions. I don't want to bring up my situation, I believe we've spoken before, but I jumped from 2mg 16 days ago. I have ups and downs, but I accept that I made terrible decisions in the past, and I feel this way because of it. I would flush that sh(t. That's me.. It's another accident waiting to happen. Also remember your going through withdrawal. Anyone with mono in their right mind would take just about anything to get some energy and feel able to function. With us its obviously different. You'll be fine! Don't beet yourself up about this . . . .

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 7:44 pm 
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Going back on suboxone is not an option. It totally took my personality and ambition away. Taking the cough syrup actually put me in a bad depression and wiped me out so there was no point in doing it. Back on the withdrawals again. Feel like I have the flu.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:11 am 
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DAY 10

Back to being a bump on a log. Yesterday was bad as I was all over the place and my depression was horrible. I also had all this anger and rage but today I feel numb or broken. Sneezing all the time, but that doesn't bother me. I want to leave the house but it's freezing and we r expecting another snow storm. To be honest it has been so long since I've been off of drugs that I don't know what normal feels like. I remember being outgoing. However, at day one I thought day 10 would be a long time away, but life goes by pretty fast and I wasted too much time being numb and a hermit crab.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 12:47 pm 
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If Suboxone is not an option for you anymore, then my advice to you would be to switch one habit for another. Meaning that you might want to pick up working out at the gym or playing the piano or drawing.

One habit that many addicts pick up is : going to AA or NA meetings as a habit. It becomes part of their daily routine. They can get support and give support and you can work on your recovery. If meetings aren't for you, then go to addiction counseling. Most of the time, when you drop one habit, you need to replace it with something else that your brain can focus on.

Don't let this one slip ruin it for you. Just pick yourself up and keep going forward.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 1:26 pm 
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I mustered up the energy to shower and get ready. Putting lipstick on does a lot for a girl's confidence. I feel a little better. I watch my mom who everyday spends hours cleaning, working, cooking, taking care of me all with a smile on her face and I'm like how the hell are you so happy? No, how the hell do you have so much energy?

As per above I have lots of hobbies: cooking, crafting, painting, decorating, shopping, organizing, eating out, wine etc. i just have no desire to do any of them right now.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:14 pm 
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Seems to me like your over the hill. Nothing but progression from here on out! You'll have ups and downs, Fight it! GL :D

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:42 pm 
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Ive been on suboxone for 6 years getting them off the streets. Started 1 or 2 (8mg) a day for a few years then the past couple years 1 or half. I got laid off recently so I could barely afford em but I did somehow lol but I'd say on average I took 2-4mg a day. Ive been drinking smoking weed, tabs/percs then went to oxys now subs for the past 11 years. Ive always depended on something. But I quit suboxone cold turkey 7 days ago and have been clean sense...yay for me... but the past couple nights ive had restless arms. Can someone please tell me how long the acute withdrawals last?


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:39 am 
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What Dose did you drop off from? Search through the previous posts. Might be on page 3 Started by Gemmasub. Me, Todd and Gary all shared what we went through coming off a few weeks back.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:49 am 
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Its hard to explain.. I lost my job last may and was on unemployment so I couldn't take as much as I wanted. Ive pretty much took somethin everyday but for the last few months its been no more than 8mg and no less than 2 mg. My last dose was Wednesday night 2 mg. I felt pretty good the first 4 days then the chills, shits, and restless arms(not legs for me) came along. I'm very happy with the progress ive made. I haven't been a week without takin somethin for 11 years. Ive heard and read about 7-10 days and it should go away. Then comes PAWS. Is the 7-10 true?


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 1:00 am 
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It's different for everyone I guess, but for me I never really felt it. Just RLS and Insomnia. I dropped from 2mg after 4 years of treatment. Because your on a higher dose I would assume that the worst will be between 7-12 days into it. PAWS can last up to a year after the Acute Withdrawal(first month). Everyone seems to have different experiences. You should start your own thread bro. There's a lot of good people going through the same thing as you. You'll get a lot more support. Scroll up on the main page, click on Stopping Suboxone and New Post. GL brother

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 1:10 am 
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Thanks for the info. Its hard to get thru but I know its possible


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 10:15 am 
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DAY 11:

Yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day. I went to the grocery store and then played with my niece and nephew. My sleep is good, I take my clonidine and vistaril and sleep for 9-10 hours, which is more than I need, but an improvement from the 12 hours I was sleeping on suboxone. One thing I noticed around day 6 was that my tongue had no film on it. I was always scrubbing my tongue with a tongue scraper on suboxone and it barely did anything and now it is clear. Everyday is a small improvement in some areas. My stomach issues were kinda late starting around day 7 up until today.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 11:02 am 
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Quick Question

Everyone around me has a cold or virus and I'm wondering if I can catch it and how would I know the difference between withdrawals and a cold?


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:16 pm 
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HI pinkbarbie,

I didn't mean to tell you to find a hobby that you already had to keep you busy. Sorry about that if that's how it sounded. What I really meant to say is to pick up a "good" habit that is NEW to YOU like going to AA meetings or addiction counseling. Just adding these bits of recovery into your daily life will really help you push on thru.
I know you probably don't feel like doing anything right now, but if you just made yourself go to one counseling session or one meeting, you might start feeling mentally better.


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