It is currently Wed Aug 23, 2017 2:05 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 5:09 am 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2016 4:47 am
Posts: 2
Hello all,

I hope everyone is doing well. This is my first post on these forums and I am hoping to get your help. When I was 20 years old, I was deployed to Afghanistan. After our initial occupation, I returned home and was re-deployed 9 months later. The twist is; this time instead of fighting insurgents, we were on protective detail. I was assigned to protect local poppy fields for the good guys to ensure insurgents could not access to the crop to sell and fund their activities.

While guarding the crops I took an intense interest into why they were so valuable and what exactly what so special about them; I suppose this is where curiosity killed the cat. I had done cocaine before enlisting, so the idea of snorting a powder that was almost exactly the same, with only slight brownish tinge to it, was not too taboo to me. I dabbled on and off with the H while there, however due to tight regulations, I was not able to get addicted; I literally couldn't have access to enough refined to actually acquire an addiction.

This changed when I returned home to Philadelphia, where the drug was in abundance. Luckily, my term of enlistment was over as carrying this into service would surely have ended dishonorably. After about 4 months of heroin addiction I decided to give it up and was recommended suboxone. For 5 years I took suboxone daily, 8mg, 2mg 4x a day.

4 months ago I decided enough was enough. Over the first month, I cut down from 8mg to 6, then to 4. In the last month, I cut down to about 3mg a day. I then began taking 3mg every other day, then 2mg every other day, and then I went about 3 days in between 2mg doses. This lasted about a month, taking 2mg a day, going 2 days without it until I couldn't take it anymore and than taking 2mg just to have one day of peace.

The last dose (2mg) I took on Halloween; making this my 5th (6th?) day in withdrawal. This is the longest I have gone without suboxone.

For the first 3 days I experienced huge lethargy; I could barely move out of bed. I went through rolls and rolls of toilet paper between defecating 10+ times a day and blowing my nose NONSTOP. My eyes also watered nonstop, as if I was constantly crying. I was unable to sleep for the most part and had horrible restless legs and arms; when I did sleep, I had incredibly vivid dreams and hot/cold flashes.

I did not get sick, nor have nausea, I didn't throw up, I didn't lose my appetite, I didn't get depressed, nothing. It was basically just like I was bedlocked with no energy to move, except for when I had to run to the toilet to diarrhea or to get food/water. I am also constantly sweating and my chest always feels very tight -- like I am on the verge of a panic attack at any time.

However, what worries me is that this is not 1/10th as bad as I thought it would be; boot was much harder than this. I am concerned that withdrawal hasn't really hit me yet. Why aren't I throwing up? Why aren't I depressed? Why isn't my skin crawling? Why I am not howling in pain? Why am I able to eat cheesesteaks?

I stayed on suboxone so long because I heard many times withdrawal was a lot like dying -- that you literally felt as if you were dying.

What is going on? Today is my 5th/6th day and things are getting much better, not worse. I am able to sleep for hours without crazy dreams, the RLS has largely subsided, my eyes barely water. The only still persistent symptoms (that I have today) are hot/cold flashes, lack of energy (still huge, but better) constant blowing of nose + defecating. I literally woke up today after a nice 6 hour nap and thought to myself (Damn, am I over the hill, is the worst over?) The worst symptom however, the constant sweating and tightness in chest/anxiety still persists HEAVILY.

Any advice and insight is appreciated. I am 6'2 and 225lbs. My ancestors fought in the crusades and my patriarchal lineage fought in WW1 and the Korean War, so whenever I think about wussing out, I just think about what they did and how they would be able to fight through it. Could this have any effect?

P.S. Just something I am curious about, I did about a month of taking a 2-3mg dose, going 2 days without, and then taking another dose. Did that reset my withdrawal? I.e. if I were to take a small dose today, would it be like I was back on day 1 after that dose subsided? The first 4-5 days were bad and I wouldn't want to go through them again, but damn, they were barely anything.

Please keep safe and god bless our republic.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 9:32 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2313
Location: Tennessee
Hey Mystikas....hope I spelled that halfway right lol. Welcome!

Well first of all, u said u heard awful stories of ppl saying they were dying of misery, don't believe all those things. Suboxone withdrawal isn't as bad as full opiate withdrawal if u get to a lower dose and come off that way. If you've made it since Halloween, that's about 6 days. From what I've heard, withdrawal would definitely show up around day 3-4. I know ur having symptoms but hopefully this is as bad as it'll get. I always thought that skipping days could be a good idea. My friend who I met in my clinic, stopped by skipping days. He literally just finally forgot to take it at all and said...well it's been days so why not stop completely...and he did and is still great to this day. So yeah, I think how u skipped days was a good idea.

There's been ppl come to this forum claiming that suboxone withdrawal is way worse than heroin withdrawal and I'm thinking....there's no way that could be true. Also, I don't know about what would happen if u take any more suboxone and if it'd take u bk further in the withdrawal process. That's a good question but I don't know the answer. I think you'll do just fine though. U seem to have it under control so far.

_________________
Jennifer


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2016 11:28 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:34 pm
Posts: 614
I've noticed a very human tendency for people to claim that whatever drug they've just withdrawn from is the biggest baddest WD there is. Everyone wants to be a hero in their own stories. "Worse than heroin" is a common claim. I was once hooked on xanax and kicked in rehab where I was told all day long from patients in a similar situation how kicking benzos is worse than kicking heroin.

I can tell you that while kicking xanax was a little slice of hell, opiates are worse. The restless legs...and arms...are pure torture for me. There's no way to escape, no position you can find that's comfortable. And I've never gotten all the way through the process, so I can barely imagine how bad at must be at the peak. I woke up in he early morning once already edging into withdrawal and I involuntarily kicked the toilet so hard I almost broke my toe. And that was only about 15 hours after my last dose.

Mysticas, I'm new here so read everything I say with a couple grains of salt, but to me it sounds like you've been through the worst. In theory bupe should not be a terrible as full on opiates, and I think you've proven that. It's good to know the it's possible to get off the bupe, and I certainly intend to try when I get to that point.

Thanks for your great post, and your service to our country..

G.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 1:29 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2016 9:40 pm
Posts: 631
Hey Mystikast,

'just like I was bedlocked with no energy to move' caught my eye!
I was down to 4 mgs with no plans to stop, but one day, I forgot to take it. 5-6 days later, I couldn’t move! Seriously could not move. 'Bedlocked!' My brain still sort of worked, but I could not move, plus deep aching. I took 4mg, felt good! Next day again forgot to take it and 5-6 days later, same thing, I could not move, again relieved by 4 mg. After 2 more times of this, I went to my bup MD who said to stop bup. So I did. Yes, other than bone deep fatigue, it went pretty well. No depression, fortunately.

My thought is yes, you could be over the peak. Not everyone has a truly difficult hard time. I think like me, many do well but we don't hear about them bc they don't need our help, they're not online asking for our help. I've experienced much more difficulty w other stressful situations. As to taking a tiny piece, its best to try to get thru it but if it gets too tough, then imo a tiny piece will help way more than hurt.

Are you prepared to be off? Stopping is a start. staying stopped takes effort too. Thanks for your service to the United States! Wishing you my best! P

_________________
Did well on Suboxone. Stopped May 2011.
Stopping went well -- its the staying stopped -- where the real work begins.
Coming here 'keeps recovery green'.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2016 4:23 am 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2016 4:47 am
Posts: 2
Hey all,

Thank you for your kind replies. I am thinking that I am indeed "over the hill". It has been 7 days and each day is better than the last.

I appreciate all your support!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group