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PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2015 1:08 pm 
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I'm a 27 yo mother of two under two. A year prior to my first pregnancy, I had abused heroin. I had never been addicted to pain pills, straight to snorting and eventually injecting heroin. At the height of my heroin addiction I was using a half to a full gram. To make a long story short, my parents found out and told me it was treatment. I was ready so it worked out well. In treatment they put me on 8mg suboxone. After outpatient treatment, I continued on suboxone under the care of a psychiatrist. She upped me to 16mg of suboxone.

About three months into being under her care I got pregnant with my first. She continued me on Suboxone but I eventually requested to switched to generic subtex (buprenorphine) because the orange taste was making me nauseaus. At this point I was taking 6mg of generic bupe (honestly, I never had issues jumping down doses until I hit 2 and 1 mg). I took suboxone/buprenorphine my whole pregnancy and gave birth to a healthy, happy girl who did not suffer withdrawals (a nurse seemed determined to dose her with morphine and my husband and I put our foot down and thank God we did). She was the happiest, healthiest baby and is now a very smart, talkative, inquisitive toddler who is developmentally advanced.

My second child was healthy as well, although she has colick and that's been tough. The hospital released her in three days (our first we had to wait five). I was on 6mg during the entire pregnancy as well.

I breastfed both while taking anywhere from .5-8mg of buprenorphine and have never noticed any issues there. I am inclined to believe the limited research regarding buprenorphine and breastfeeding.

My buprenorphine journey had to come to an end due to financial issues and the fact I was very over being physically addicted to anything. I was constantly stressed about having the money to continue. I cannot say good enough things about buprenorphine (suboxone, subutex, generic). It let me lead a normal life, free of temptation, free of the physical discomfort that sends most running back to old ways. I feel it has helped me be a good parent to my children and a good partner to my husband. I wish I could have been off of bupe before having my kids but I wasn't ready. I thank God everything turned out fine and my Doctors were very understanding and agreed I should stay on it and that buprenorphine (although not as studied in pregnancy) yielded less intense NAS (neonatal abstinence syndrome) than methadone (not knocking it).

Today is day 6 (144 hours) free of generic buprenorphine. I tapered from 8mg over 4 months. I had stock piled a supply in order to taper myself over 4 months and taper I did. I didn't follow any one taper in particular and just cut back every 2-3 weeks or so until I was taking crumbs. There was some mild discomfort after my drop to 2 and 1mg. That I felt the most.

I feel pretty good today. I've had some tummy issues I occasionally treat with generic loperamide as directed. I've had some anxiety that I treat with generic Lexapro 20mg and depression I treat with 150mg generic Wellbutrin (buproprion) XL. I've had some insomnia that I treat with .5-1mg generic Ativan (lorazepam). I try to use it sparingly and only when I really need it as obviously I do not want to ever have to deal with being physically addicted to that. I also take 2 800mg of Ibprofen a day for aches and pains (mostly my legs). I am TIRED, but not the kind of tired where you are knocked out..the kind of tired where you toss and turn and can't sleep. I am also yawning and sneezing all the time.

I hope the worst is over (hasn't been that bad) but due to the long half life, I expect not to feel 100% for some time and there may be more difficult WD symptoms to overcome l, I'm not sure yet.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 11:41 am 
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Hi Starryl, What a success story! It is so nice to read such a positive story about suboxone and pregnancy! And, suboxone and withdrawl! Seems that you have wonderful support and you also have been fortunate to have doctors who treated you with respect and care! So many times women report all kinds of horrible experiences with doctors and nurses who treated them as less than due to being on suboxone! Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing!


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 2:38 pm 
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Thank you for replying Michelle F. I have seen so many horror stories regarding uniformed Doctors and patients on buprenorphine. My heart hurts for them because bupe is such a powerful recovery tool. My OB(s) and Psychiatrist were very supportive but even she wasn't always right (told me suboxone/subutex doesn't cause PAWS). I feel there is a lot of educating that needs to be done about this drug, even to some of the people who describe it! More research would be nice. It's unique and I've seen some medical professionals treat it as methadone. My psychiatrist was convinced my first was going to spend months in a NICU which from studies I read is not likely.

Today is day 7 bupe free and I feel pretty crappy today honestly. I feel like I may be one of those people whosee body doesn't eliminate bupe as fast, I know the half life is usually stated as being anywhere from 23-72 hours with 72 being more common. Ansty, anxious, foot tapping, restless legs, ZERO energy, just feel very blah and depressed. I just keep telling myself even if it takes a month, I will get through acute withdrawals. They're not so bad I couldn't do certain things - still playing with the kids, etc so that's good.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 12:14 pm 
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I will pray that this is the worst of it! It's that depressed...nothing to look forward feeling that is the worst part of it for me! I will be on suboxone forever if I have to deal with that! I wish you success! I wish I could give you more positive feedback! I can say that I do really admire you and your determination!


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 12:32 pm 
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Keep up the great work Starryl! I know what it's like feeling awful with children to take care of, it can be very challenging to say the least. I admire ur determination. Like Michelle, I hate that depressed feeling that comes along with stopping any type of opiate. It's something that's extremely difficult for me too. Just wanted to tell ya that ur doing great!! Keep us posted.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 08, 2015 8:38 pm 
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Thank you both for your kind words and support! Yes, I hate that hopelessly depressed, I'll never have fun again, nothing to look forward to feeling. At times it feels soul crushing...I hope that will get better even if it takes awhile. Today is day 8 and physically I feel better but I feel mentally low - just depressed and bored. I also miss the ritual of taking my bupe - I know that sounds weird but it has been apart of my routine for the last 3 years. I hope I can stop feeling this way soon.

Last night I actually took Tylenol pm to sleep and it worked! Still no energy though even with 8 hours of sleep.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2015 2:03 pm 
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That's actually not weird at all. We get ourselves in a routine and it's difficult to not think about it after you've stopped. There's been several ppl say the same thing u are, so don't think it's weird because it makes perfect sense. But it's definitely something that u will adjust to, it'll all just take some time. Congrats on the sleep, that's actually a lot of ppls complaint....lack of sleep. Ur doing great though, keep us posted :)

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 12, 2015 1:20 pm 
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I'm glad I am not the only one who misses the "routine". I know this sounds silly but I've been doing my nails everyday (even if I don't feel like it). It's silly but it helps, keeps my hands busy. My husband and I and the girls are moving next month into an apartment so we've been getting everything ready and cleaned. Sometimes I feel like this was the worst possible time to stop bupe. Moving, the holidays, etc. I must have miscalculated because today is actually day 13. Physically I feel pretty decent. Still feel mentally low but honestly, I'm not sure if it's the stopping the subutex or abrubtly stopping breastfeeding after 7 months. This happened last time I quit breastfeeding and I was on subutex so it may very well be hormonal. Kinda just waiting for the wellbutrin and Lexapro to kick in as I had depression before my addiction and while on suboxone/subtext but it seemed manageable while on it. Last night I slept OK but couldn't get comfy - I didn't hurt though. Ibprofen does help, and so does Tylenol PM. Trying to use the Ativan very sparingly and only if I REALLY need it. It helps tremendously with the restless leg feeling and insomnia. Today my husband and I are working on the apartment so that should keep me busy. Thank you both so much for being supportive. I feel like this is somewhere where people understand what you are going through. My family doesn't really get it and doesn't really care to. My husband is very supportive but he has had his own issues so he knows.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 12, 2015 7:49 pm 
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Starryl,

Congrats on 13 days!!! That is a huge accomplishment. As far as you thinking maybe this wasn't the best time to stop. It absolutely is the best time to stop. If we wait for a perfect time we will never stop..It will be one year on December 26 that i have stopped suboxone after being on them for about 3 years. You have made it so far. 2 weeks is a big deal. I remember after about 3-4 weeks things started getting better.. so hang in there. I workout a lot and I pretty much was at the gym everday..exercise is huge! Go for a walk..do some sit ups push-ups at home. Do not just sit around. Also listen to music it helps..again what u r doing is great! If you have any questions let me know


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 11:18 am 
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ty sub Goin DOWN1 wrote:
Starryl,

Congrats on 13 days!!! That is a huge accomplishment. As far as you thinking maybe this wasn't the best time to stop. It absolutely is the best time to stop. If we wait for a perfect time we will never stop..It will be one year on December 26 that i have stopped suboxone after being on them for about 3 years. You have made it so far. 2 weeks is a big deal. I remember after about 3-4 weeks things started getting better.. so hang in there. I workout a lot and I pretty much was at the gym everday..exercise is huge! Go for a walk..do some sit ups push-ups at home. Do not just sit around. Also listen to music it helps..again what u r doing is great! If you have any questions let me know


Thank you for your encouragement and advice. I agree getting moving helps although the urge to laze around is so strong right now. Gotta get those endorphins back. It's nice to know weeks 3-4 you start seeing the light at the end. Today is day 15 and I swear, the last two days have been the worst physically - I cannot get comfortable no matter what. I am getting maybe 3-4 hours of broken sleep. My knee hurts but Aleve helps. I am trying to not take the Ativan unless I have to but after two days with hardly any sleep, I may. The last two nights I have had intense dreams about finding suboxone films and struggling on whether or not to take them before waking up. Ugh. I didn't expect that as I've never dreamed about suboxone before. It's obvious where my mind is. Hopefully getting out today will help (have a Doc appt). I don't feel so depressed anymore but I am having cravings - not for heroin, not for painkillers but bupe. I keep reminding myself this too shall pass. It may take 30 days but it will get better. It has to.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 11:19 am 
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Also, congrats on one year off bupe! That really gives me hope that it can be done.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 14, 2015 6:10 pm 
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This is my first post.
Maybe I'll start a new Thread because I did what seems like no one here has.

I've been on and off opiates for 9 years. I just turned 26. I've been mostly off and was on suboxone once before for 18 months and now I'm coming off 8mg for the past 10-11 months.

I jumped off 8mg to 0mg and I don't want to hear about how dangerous that is or whatever. I appreciate all advice but I set my mind to this and I'm going to come out of it.

I went to a new doctor because the sub doc wanted to keep me on subs "indefinitely." I said Fuxk you I quit, and here I am 12 days in...

I started feeling withdrawal 12 hours in so I don't know if I'm weird or anything. I do know we're all different physiologically and I have a fast metabolism and I am one strong soldier.

Anyway this is what it's been like:

Day 1 w/d begins and I buckle up for the ride.

Day 2 I acquire some clonodine and Immodium. These meds saved me from the worst of it.

Day 3 sneezing, restless, tired, low blood pressure. I'm just happy I'm not sweating with chills I hate that the most.

Day 4 same ole same ole. Starting eating real foods and I've stayed hydrated. Hard to sit up and feel like passing out when I use restroom. Somehow I pushed myself to go to the gym and swim for 30 mins and sauna steam room for another 30. It made me feel great.

Day 5 Lethargy, LBP, anxious, tired, blah. Only thing keeping me going is hope for the future.

Day 6 Read somewhere that spicy foods & pain produce natural opioids so I went and got a huge tattoo on the most painful part of the body, rib cage and stomach.
I felt good when it was over and I slept pretty well.

Day 7 I honestly don't remember much it was ok I guess but still feeling most of the same stuff. I went to the doctor and he was shocked at how well I looked and was doing. I just want to say that the mind is powerful.

Day 8 I woke up feeling worse today and I'm still feeling shitty.
I think it may be because I stopped taking as much Immodium and Immodium is an opioid. I FORCED myself to work and it HURRRTTTT. Told boss I was sick he said man up and i did... 14 hours on my feet serving people.

Day 9 recovering from yesterday.

Day 10 I stopped taking so much clonodine. I heard there's a withdrawal and I don't know if it's prolonging my detox? Someone please let me know if it is or isn't, thank you! I was taking upwards of .6 mg at first and Now I'm taking .1. No Immodium either.

Day 11 FML. At least I can stand up without feeling like passing out but the body is hurting and I'm tired.

Day 12 I finally got some sleep and talking to friends is giving me back my much needed motivation. I need to need to get back to work ASAP. Like I said before the mind is powerful and I plan on going back in 2 days.

Let me know what y'all think.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 15, 2015 10:01 pm 
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Today is the 16th day. Wow, if you asked me a year or so ago if I could see myself off bupe for 16 days, I would not have been able to. It's still rocky - some days I wake up and I'm depressed but once I get moving it gets better. Today has been a LAZY day. I don't wanna move, I have to push my body to do anything - even simple things. Tonight I am trying a new RLS med. I hope it works well. Today my knee did not hurt. I feel drained and tired but I don't hurt.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 16, 2015 9:20 pm 
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Starryl, thank you so much for sharing your story! You're an inspiration for me. I've been on Suboxone/Subutex for almost 2 years (Jan 7 will be 2 years off pain pills!) and am a single mother of an amazing 3 1/2 year old.

Keep doing what you're doing and don't beat yourself up if you can't "get active". If you feel too crappy to do anything, I say do nothing or play with your beautiful children. Remind yourself that this isn't going last forever and the best is yet to come. You need to endure the rain if you want that rainbow. I always used to hear sayings like that and yeah, they made sense but I don't think I ever believed it until I had my son. The most wonderful things in life almost always are the result of struggle or hard work.

Keep us updated!


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