It is currently Sat Aug 19, 2017 4:59 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2015 6:06 pm 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 1:24 am
Posts: 3
Hello.
I have been an opiate addict for 15 years, an alcoholic for about 25 years. I'm now on 12mg suboxone film a day and working with an outpatient therapy program. I am starting to learn some new skills and coping mechanisms, and I'm very grateful for that. I still don't feel that I'd be able to live without opiates, but I'm starting to feel a bit of hope, which is the most valuable thing in the world to me. I haven't felt hope in years, and now I'm starting to think that although it is pretty unlikely, it is perhaps possible that someday I might recover.

So without going into a long story - I just wonder if anyone else out there has mental illness in addition to addiction? I am 39 years old now. When I was 8 years old, I developed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - it was a horrible situation that went on for five years, before finally fading away. The doctors now think that I had PANDAS (Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorder - or something like that). Basically, my repeated episodes of strep throat caused the strep virus to attack my brain's basil ganglia - I think that's what it is called - which is why my OCD came on very suddenly. As is sometimes the case with PANDAS, my OCD faded when I began to menstruate.

However, I've had debilitating depression and anxiety ever since. I mean serious, bad problems. They think this may be an after effect of my PANDAS, and that my addiction problems result directly from this.

So I worry that maybe it is pointless for me to be on Suboxone. Eventually, I will have to come off of it, and regardless of how many "tools for living" I have gained - the fact remains that there is something seriously wrong with my brain. I don't trust my own decision-making capacity, I never have. I don't think that I will EVER be safe from drugs.

Does this make sense to anyone? Do you have any advice, or experience you could share? I would be most grateful.

In peace,
Alexis


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2015 7:21 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4133
Did the suboxone make any difference in your depression/anxiety? Is it better on sub, worse on sub, etc.? If you don't think you will ever be safe from drugs, why stop the sub? What's your alternative?

Sorry to bombard you with so many questions, but I'm not sure that you have a really clear picture about your future.

Suboxone helps alleviate depression and anxiety for some people, but even if that's not the case for you, it is still keeping you from the appalling roller coaster ride that is active addiction. I'm not seeing the advantage of going off sub.

You could try to wean down to 8mg/day, then maybe to 6mg/day. The trick is to find a dose will keep you from craving, but will lessen any side effects from the medication (if you are experiencing any).

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2015 9:53 pm 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 1:24 am
Posts: 3
The Suboxone does help quite a bit - I feel more "normal" than I've ever felt. I'd be fine staying on it - but I don't think my doctor is going to let me. It's weird, when I first agreed to take it (reluctantly) - I was told that they consider this a long term treatment - if I decided I wanted off, they could "give me some tips." I've been on it less than two months, and at my last appointment my doctor said we would stay where we are for 3 months or so, then start to titrate me off, and if I wasn't ready then he would "push a little harder" the following month. So now I'm freaking out - what have I gotten myself into? I didn't intend to just drag this out - I could have gotten through withdrawals on my own. Now I'm going to have to withdraw from Suboxone - and I'm just scared that I'll fall apart.
Thanks for your response and insight.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2015 10:42 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4133
I am of the strong opinion that people on sub should get off of it (or not) at their own pace. I've heard too many stories of people who were pressured to go off their bupe medication and then they relapse very quickly.

I think it's time for you to look for another sub doctor. I know they're not easy to come by, but it would be well worth the effort if you could find a doctor who believes in long term maintenance. Make sure you tell your current doctor, after he cuts your dose, that you started craving opiates again. That should at least give him something to think about besides aggressive titration! I don't advocate lying to doctors, but when they have power over your access to a life-saving medication, you need to push back!

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 6:04 pm 
Offline
Site Admin
Site Admin
User avatar

Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2008 11:03 pm
Posts: 1543
It is so frustrating to hear these stories. Buprenorphine (or Suboxone) is gaining acceptance as a chronic medication, as more and more doctors take the bold step of asking themselves the question, 'what happens to the people after I discharge them?' Nobody seems to ask that question-- not buprenorphine-prescribers, and certainly not the people who work in non-medicated treatments. The truth is that people do lousy after discharge, no matter what treatment approach. With non-medication treatments, people are kicked out for any flare-up of their illness... as if a flare-up gives the treaters the opportunity to blame everything on the patient. Medication treatment allows addiction to be perceived, and treated, as a chronic illness. It makes no sense to stop a medication that finally shows some efficacy in treating that illness.

Have an honest discussion with your doctor. Ask your doctor, what if you are not ready to stop the medication? If the doc insists, I strongly recommend that you send a letter to your state board of medicine, and tell them that you are doing well on treatment--- and you are being kicked off that treatment. I encourage anyone else in that situation to do the same. Hopefully someone will see the truth about what is happening to people.

There is a law in Congress that would eliminate the cap on patients; I think that would go a long way toward allowing doctors to keep ALL patients who benefit from buprenorphine.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2015 9:09 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 1:49 am
Posts: 6
Hi Alexis,
I know I'm a little late to the thread, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone. I don't have as long a history of addiction as you do, but I do struggle with some pretty debilitating mental health issues. I just recently started sub treatment (day two, actually), but I was in a very bad place and made the choice to reach out for help. The fact that you are trying says something, I think. For me I know it does. I am fortunate enough to have a loving family that cares very much for me, and they're really the only reason I'm still around. I've also just started outpatient therapy and counseling. I've been getting treatment on and off since I was a teenager, so almost 20 years now. I'm still struggling, but I'm trying, and that must mean that somewhere in the back of my head I have some hope that my life can be better. I don't know if I'll ever be truly happy, but maybe life can still be worth it. So far, the people around me are, as I love them very much. And I feel a little bit more positive getting clean. It was a big step.
I guess I just wanted to say that your post resonated with me, and I want you to find some hope. You're giving treatment a chance, so that's got to mean something. I hope you find some peace and that you find the right people to help you. I keep telling myself I must be worth it, and I'm going to keep trying. I hope you do, too. I think that somehow, maybe through some work, we can have full lives. It's something to hang on to, anyway.
I hope the best for you; I hope that something wonderful happens to you, and I hope we can have full and contented lives one day. Today, I think it's possible.
You'll be in my thoughts.
Jonny


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group