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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:35 am 
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I was just wondering if there should be a section on what its like being in a marriage were two people take suboxocone. Has it helped or now making things worse.
My husband and I started taking subs together. We were actually our doctors first patients. I abused pills and then stopped. when my second daughter was born we started up again and after a few months I decided to seek help because I didnt want to go down THAT ROAD AGAIN. It was the best decision I ever made being honest with my doctor. It just so happened that he just got licensed to perscribe the medication. this was like 3 1/2 years ago.
My life became great after that I could function normally and my addiction was being treated. We started subs with the intentions to stop but time keeps going by and were still taking them.

The problem Im having with it is that my husband has no sex drive what so ever, and the suboxocone has changed our personalities a bit..... I want to start going off them so that we can hopefully be normal again and My husband doesnt ever want to stop. Hes very honest about his addiction and said that he will always want to take pills. I guess hes right....but still. I did get hopeful reading the posts that some of the men had wrote about low testosterone and hope that he can get that checked and maybe we can have some intamicy again because we have none.

He doesnt like to hug, kiss, or anything for that matter. I am 28 years old and he is 32.....we are young and dont EVER HAVE SEX.......ITS SO FRUSTURATING!!!!


If you guys have read my other posts you will know that I recently lost 110 lbs and had a tummy tuck and boob job......this hasnt changed him one bit...I hear all the time from other people how great I look and how beautiful blah blah blah but my husband hasnt said a THING.....


He did talk to his doc about testosterone though and he plans on getting a blood test....which gives me hope but we just recently lost our medical insurance so thats on hold. Im in the process of getting all of that figured out......so

Oh and he bought these herbs that are supposed to help men build testoterone naturally but I dont see a change


welll.......its just hard I feel like we need to get off subs but at the same time know its would be like playing Russian rulet ....
Can anyone re-late with me on any of this???

Im just so frustrated. In all manners of speaking


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:50 am 
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I'm just sitting here wondering if I missed something-
Is there a new formulation that I have not yet heard about? ;)

What is this "Suboxocone"- with the "c" in it?

Thanks!

-ex-


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 3:09 pm 
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Exorphin:

It's just a mispelling, she's putting a "C" in Suboxone, there is no derivative of it...subutex is the only thing close.


Far as the sex drive, I can attest to have SOME lower sex drive. Now, I must say, my sex drive isn't GONE..just lower. Used to if we didn't do it 4 or 5 times a week, I was irritable...and would intentionally make smart remarks to my wife about it...but when I stabilized on Suboxone, and had been on it probably 16 months or so, sex became one of those "ah well..if we do, we do...and if we don't, we don't. And I'm still that way. Now if she informs me that she needs...uhm..servicing, then I'm happy to oblige. But a majority of the time, I am asleep, and have actually fell asleep with my hand in certain, unmentionable places a number of times.

My doctor has mentioned giving me a blood test at my next visit (in 3 months, May 2 or so), to check my testosterone levels. He told me about the possibility of it being lowered by Suboxone, and we would check it to see. Also, energy levels and other things are supposed to be tied to suboxone.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 6:23 pm 
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Quote:
Also, energy levels and other things are supposed to be tied to suboxone.


Could you elaborate on this or are you referring to particular studies about said energy levels and/or these "other things" you're referring to?

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 6:58 pm 
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My husband has no desire. Listen Im not one of those women that is like oh my husband doesnt give me attention every day.....we dont have sex...its been a year and before that it was every few months. HE IS NOT INTERESTED AT ALL....and not willing to do anything else or meet my needs. I will say that hes going to look into having his testosterone level tested.SO I GIVE HIM THAT I dont need sex evey day 1-2 a month would be nice.....He wasnt this way before the sub.....

I mean this isnt our only issue.......But you know it would be nice to read posts or know what other married couples who take sub are like....

Our sub doc did tell us that opiate use is linked to testosterone levels so I am hopeful....I just need intimacy in my life but will/ have put up with it because Im married and dont want to divorce. I think being with my husband is best for my kids and we are a team. He an EXCELLENT father.....and thats important....


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 10:22 pm 
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Yeah. I can relate to your husband and I know too well how this stuff can affect a relationship. This stuff gets brought up a lot on here. It reminds me a bit of the problems with SSRI's, which are so significant that pharma companies put a lot of $ into coming up with new ones without those problems.

I myself just came off a 6 month liver treatment that really blunted my libido, plus being on Suboxone, it was really like being a eunuch. For a man to live without any sexual desires or attractions whatsoever, is almost like a man living for little purpose, really. Thankfully it's lifted a bit, but I'm still not the guy I should be. But for a while there we were barely doing it twice a month.

You gotta understand that, if he doesn't want to sleep with you, it has NOTHING to do with you or your appearance or attractiveness or anything about you I can next to guarantee that he has no sexual feelings towards anything. For a guy it's almost like being dead down there. I've noticed it can be really hard for women to understand this, and not to feel some kind of rejection and personal hurt, and wonder whether their guy doesn't find them attractive. No amount of assurance from the guy can convince the girl entirely, it seems. But you just gotta remind yourself, and he does too.

And it's important you guys talk about this. If you feel frustrated, money on he feels equally if not more inadequate. It's likely he will not want to talk about it, so if you do want to bring it up, make sure you acknowledge that you know it's the medication, and not him. It's something that needs to be dealt with carefully because it's a really sensitive subject for a guy. For him, it is no doubt emasculating. Part of him may worry that you will look elsewhere.

And it's a really weird place to be for a guy, given that a lot of male social dynamics and even body language motivated by competitiveness and testosterone. A guy without that drive can be very placid, but may also feel side-lined from the pecking-order at times.

And it's not just guys. I remember all too clearly being in a cab with an old friend who'd just come off Subutex, and her telling me she felt "alive down there" for the first time in months.

If you wanna address the problem, and he doesn't want to stop Sub, I have noticed that decreasing the dose can make a big difference. There is a huge difference between being on 12mg and 8mg with libido, at least for me. When my dose is down to 6mg it's almost like the old-me is back. So it may be worth giving him this suggestion. No doubt he really wants a solution as well. Personally, I'd give that a try before a testosterone injection. Why not address the thing that's actually causing the problem?

Also you do gotta talk about it between you guys, or at least have some kinda open dialogue about it.

Worst comes to worst, I didn't have this problem nearly as much on methadone, and other people have said the same. But going on methadone comes at a real cost as well. I don't think it'd be worth it personally, and I'd only consider that if the problems got to the point of breaking up the relationship and the family. He may rather be on methadone than see you look elsewhere to relieve your frustration.

Good luck, and let us know how you go.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 1:34 am 
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Hi,

My libido is pretty much nonexistent and it's awful - it did get slightly better though come to think about it when i dropped my dose to 6mg a day. My husband is on methadone and he has more sex drive than me. But it is frustrating. I guess so long as both partners understand why it is like it is, that's a good thing.

Perhaps you and your other half could try reducing your dose (if that's an option) and see if that makes any difference.

C x


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 11:00 am 
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Thanks tear jerker...... I understand everything that your saying......Im in this relationship for better or worse. I understand everything that your saying 100%....It wasnt until I lost a bunch of weight and had all these surgeries that I realized that IT WAS NOT ME...We have talked about it and for the first time i was able to tell him that him not wanting to have sex with me made my self esteem worse and all it really is is acknowledgement that he loves me....
my husband doesnt really like to talk you know so......Im gonna hang in there but he has to start figuring out whats going on and trying to fix it......

I dont blame subs 100% because Im sure its others pressure and stress on top of it......

About him lowering his dose.....lol....Ill suggest it but fat chance he will....its a great idea though for sure..He hates when I bring up the sex issue...He told our therapist that he wanted me to quit asking him about sex......IT WAS A KNIFE IN MY HEART....

so I have but bring it up carefully and rarely.... it wasnt until I found this forum and read some stories about testosterone that I brought it up and he was receptive....He talked to the docs about it and we will see....If I make a big deal about it or put pressure on him he wont do it...thats the kind of guy he is so I am gonna back of and be supportive

He has put up with so much of my stuff.....I can put up with this....another 7 years though........I dont know

thanks guys for being his mouth piece to me i can respect what your saying and I take it to heart....THANK YOU


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 Post subject: try reading this
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:12 pm 
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My wife is more like your husband. I just read this book and it describes alot of feelings that you might have. I encourage you to check it out. I think it is less than $10.00 or so. Maybe he will read it and understand.

The Sex Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner

Good Luck
Dana

btw: I did get tested and have low T and the Dr put in on it and now I am fine


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:39 pm 
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I just went on amazon and bought it fro 4.44 they also have the sex starved wife and another one bought all three!!!! thank you

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:17 pm 
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ohsosheana wrote:
I just went on amazon and bought it fro 4.44 they also have the sex starved wife and another one bought all three!!!! thank you


You are welcome. I wish you the best.

Dana


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:43 am 
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FOR sure get the Test. checked and guys are really sensative about their manhood so with this in mind do not do anything to bruise him. I find in past relationships the more you want of something the less they are willing to give it. It is JUST a LOT of pressure. Ya know. Sub ABSOLUTELY decreases sex drive. I was rescearching DHEA (a suppliment) and found that it is something that I as a woman am going to try myself. (& have) Look it up online. It is suppose to help maintain and regulate peoper hormone levels which BTW can be depleted by opiate use... So worth a shot IMO. Well marriages are suppose to be for better or for worse right... I mean I have NO room to talk been there & divorced 3 times. But that is me and I am NOT right, where marriage is concearned. (upbringing issues) So give it your BEST shot. You owe it to your kids your husband AND most especially yourself. your marriage is WORTH it.. Good luck.. & hope you enjoy the books. (I can tell you are determined woman!)


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 7:43 pm 
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Your husband is 1 year younger than myself,and I recently discovered that after years of opiate abuse it is common to have testosterone levels that are very low,I just found out from my sub =doc that I do. He would be tired, or distant , and without much drive.This is what I experienced and what my doc told me to expect. Although I have not gotten treatment for it I did find a shortcut till I do. I have used an albuterol inhaler most of my life and started again ,and it seems to be enough to level me out for the short term. I cant speak for him but I'm not comfortable talking about this ,but its much worse than just dealing with it on your own.If he exhibits any of those signs it may be worth the risk to speak to him.But keep in mind that it is a VERY sensitive subject,Which you probably already know. Best of luck


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 7:50 pm 
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I know what can be lost during these trying times my last relapse cost me the love of a woman that I happily called my own for 14yrs.Please , Be patient and as understanding as possible.

Yesterday's gone forever.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 5:12 pm 
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i have been on subs for almost a year now and just like any other opiate, it will decrease a males testosterone levels and affect the sex drive. my testosterone levels were at zero and my sub dr prescribed me testim gel which i use once a day. it has given me my drive back. i am grateful for suboxone!


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