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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:07 pm 
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First post ever - I am 38 years old...I have been on sub for about 5 years which started after about 5 years of a 3 to 8 a day vicodin habit - no oxy's, no H, just loved the vicodin. Suboxone saved me - but now as time goes on I ask "WHAT NOW????"

I take (3) 8mg strips per day and .05 zanex 2x per day for some generalized anxiety. I have a good job, great wife, 3 kids, house, minivan, lol Anyway, you get the picture. I am not trying to paint a perfect picture here. What I am saying is with my Life going so well, when will I ever quit? Do I like taking the subs, Do I like that little buzz it gives me = YES. Do I think about my next script when I occasional take 4 or 5 a day and begin to run low the few days before the next refill = YES. YES, I like going all morning without it and then taking my dose on the way to the mall with the kids, or just before an important meeting at work....I get a bit talkative, feel decent (I am not high as you know), but I feel good. Anyway, obviosuly anyone can see that I still show some of the addict in my behavior.

I have one of those Dr's that doesn't even talk, just writes a script every 2 weeks and I leave. I have never been to rehab or even to a meeting. I had a issue with the Vikes, got on suboxone, insurance covers a huge portion of my sub script, soooooo ......WHEN AM I EVER GOING TO GET OFF OF THIS? Can I stay on it for 10, 15, 20 years? Do I want to? What do I do??? I know many of you talk about not stopping because of work...I agree, I cannot take a month off from work, and then on top of that, not be sharp or "on point" at work for months, and months while I adjust. I am a manager at an very large company and want to continue climbing the corporate ladder. However, I know that I can't keep flipping the calendar year after year being a sub addict. I mean it will only make getting off of the sub worse as time goes on, right??? I am sure there are many people here like me, and I would LOVE to hear from you.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:07 am 
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WOW""> BOOMER33. iv'e been on 15 months , and not much to say about subs. i have so many ups and downs!! well i don't take subs the right way sometimes .' even if ther is a complete right way? 16mg a day. anyway i here that on how long you been on suboxone , doesn't really matter". it's how the correct jump is", or the very slow tapper. that can be by micrograms with in a mg of suboxone at the close end of the tapper. GEE"". i wish i was in your shoes ? stay with us " moderators and other's will be here to help! thanks johnboy


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 7:34 am 
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Hi boomer and welcome. First things first, I agree with you that regardless of the fact that you've been on suboxone for so long, you're still exhibiting addictive behaviors. And it's my opinion that if you go off suboxone with those behaviors intact, you're at risk of a relapse.

There's nothing that says you cannot stay on suboxone. That's YOUR decision (and that of your family) and no one else's. There will come a time when I'm in your shoes, as I don't plan on going off it anytime soon. It's my opinion that you have to think of your quality of life as well as that of your family, and not whether or not you happen to take a pill everyday. If it was another kind of prescription medication for a chronic illness would you be asking yourself or us if you should stay on it?

Normally people stop suboxone when they believe they are ready. That usually means they've worked on old issues - issues that may have led them to use in the first place. And they've extinguished all those old addictive behaviors and replaced them with healthy ones.

If you really want off suboxone, I'd suggest you start working on that addictive behavior and on getting your life back on track (if you haven't already). There's nothing that says you can't do it, it's all a matter of what you want and what you're ready for.

Just remember - quality of life...

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:41 am 
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Hey, I've been on for five years too but am in the process of finally getting off. Like Hat said, it's 100% your decision as to whether you want to continue on Sub or not. Honestly, though, when I read your post I was a little surprised at how much you're taking. Now, many of us have been on high doses, but typically it's because we had some kind of pain condition that was ongoing and we needed the high dose to try to cover some of that. If you are taking 3 8's (24) mg, I'm just wondering if you are aware that it's a fairly high dose and why your doc has decided you need that high a dose. Sometimes, people have doctors who mechanically write the script for those high doses and never really help their patients reexamine whether they need that much....I've had that kind of doc!!

I know what it's like to be humming along and then realize it's been all these years on Sub and feel like all of a sudden, you are starting to question what your future is going to be with this med, and it is no easy choice. From what you wrote about taking the extra now and then and getting some pleasant feeling from it, I'd guess maybe you need to put some extra effort into really respecting the Sub, realizing it's a very strong med, and only taking it as prescribed. You need to look into why you think you need to take Sub before you do this or that, because ideally, you should just take it at the same time everyday and go on with life.

Suboxone is actually really strong! It's a little deceptive when you don't feel much from it....To put it in perspective, it's relatively easy to taper down to around 2 mg, but after that, it gets trickier. (I know that may be tough to imagine, but take my word for it!!) To get off Sub without too much w/d, one should ideally taper to around 200 micrograms, or 1/10 of a 2 mg tab. So, you're taking about 120 X that amount each day, and I used to take 160 times that amount!! Even 200 micrograms is a fairly substantial amount of Bupe. Isn't that kinda nuts when you look at it like that? The only reason I tell you that is that I think it's easy to forget how powerful this med is, since it doesn't make us 'high'. I used to feel like taking Sub was like taking nothing and had absolutely no clue how strong it was. I think getting a better perspective on how much Bupe we've been taking can at least help us be more careful with how we dose. I don't quite get why people take the extra, because I cannot say I had the desire to do that. Does it really make you feel differently or do you think it's a mental thing of just wanting to take more for the sake of taking more? I'm so curious about this, because to me, even on the high doses, I don't remember feeling anything at all after dosing. Nothing. If it made me feel good, I would have taken more!! In the very beginning I did feel it, but not after any substantial time period. However, you're not the only person who says they get a little bump from their Sub, which makes it hard to not take more, I'm sure.

I do think you need to reassess how you take your Sub and get that under control. I don't want to psych you out, but until you get very on top of taking it only as you're supposed to and on some kind of schedule, I don't think you should consider tapering off it. Tapering off Sub is a whole 'nother ball game and it takes so much discipline, so go one step at a time by addressing what you see as ongoing addict behavior first.

Keep posting, because there's a ton of collective experience on here!!

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:42 am 
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I believe the decision to quit is a personal one and agree 100 percent with hatmaker that its about quality of life :).....


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:44 am 
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Hi boomer. I identify with your post. While I have done some therapy, NA groups, and work on my addiction, I still do exhibit some of the addict behaviors you described. I do get a little lift from my Sub, not so much a buzz but more energy, so I do often time my taking it to just before an important or difficult event. My doc is also the type who just hands me the prescription and doesn't require anything. And, yes, I have run out of Sub early.
I think it's interesting that you still "feel" your Subs after 5 years. I really felt it the first few months, and now that I'm coming up on 2 years it's almost imperceptable. I think once you have been on Sub for a couple of years your body pretty much acclimates to it, and the length of time you've been on it doesnt play into how hard it will be getting off. I think whether it's been 2 years or 10 you're probably going to want to do a long, slow taper.
To stay on or go off only you can decide. I agree with Hat, if you're still doing the old addict behaviors, there's nothing to stop you from going right back to pills when you go off. I recently decided to start tapering off Sub, and I made a commitment to myself to work on my recovery while I am doing it, because I spent most of my time on Sub just floating along. Just the fact that you're questioning where you are is a start. Keep talking to people on the forum, and you will get a lot of information and ideas.
Take care,
Lilly


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