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PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:26 am 
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Hey guys! I wanted to check in with a couple of questions. After further educating myself about suboxone, I am coming to terms with what has been going on with me. I never realized, or questioned, how powerful of a drug this is. I was taking 40mgs of hydrocodone when I got on it. Looking back, I am wondering if I was the best candidate for this treatment? Maybe I should have tried to wean off on my own..not sure that would have worked, but still wondering what I have done to my mind/body. My question is...how strong is sub? I mean, did I INCREASE my opiate tolerance by getting on this? I was up to 10mgs on subs, before rapidly weaning down to 2mgs then jumping. I am on Day 40 and still struggling with this heavy cloud over me.

On another note, for those of you who are off...how long did your PAWS last? I know you can't say 3months, 6 days, 15 hours, etc. But, any enlightenment on when these symptoms might lighten up. I am still sleeping the same..not very deep and wide awake at 4am, overall lethargy, and irritability. Yes, I am pregnant, so I know that a lot of this could be that, but this is my 3rd child and do not remember this sort of "dread" feeling in the past. I am definitely doing better than I was during the acute part, but I have a lot of stuff coming up (wedding, vacation, move, etc) and I just do NOT feel normal. I don't know that I will for a while, but I hate starting off my new life with such a tired/desperate feeling. Anything I could do different? Thanks for listening and any feedback would be welcome.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:42 am 
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Yes, you could be suffering from PAWS, but it could also be exacerbated by the pregnancy. And remember, every pregnancy is different, so try not to compare it to your other ones. Also, how long was your active addiction history? Remember PAWS comes from other opiates as well. So I'd combine your time on full agonists as well as suboxone to consider what would contribute to PAWS.

As for raising your tolerance, yes, it absolutely could have done that. But try not to look back and have regrets. It doesn't do any good other than to upset you. We can't do anything about the past. We are where we are now and can only control the present. Try to enjoy this time in your life and just move forward. Good luck to you and I hope you feel better soon. Oh and try not to focus too much on your discomfort (I know, easier said than done). So try to stay busy and distracted as much as possible.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 9:59 am 
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Yes, you probably raised your tolerance. Dr. J said that Sub maintenance is roughly the equivalent of 60mg oxy or 80mg hydro a day. I'm in the same boat, I was essentially OFF opiates when I got on Sub, not knowing how powerful it was. BUT, we only have the present to deal with. I know when I started Sub I wasn't ready to stay clean in my own. I may have been headed for a major relapse that would have raised my tolerance anyway. So, I guess we can't second guess ourselves, just move forward.
What you are describing sounds more like PAWS than pregnancy related issues. I don't have the answer to that, but I can say that it's a slow uphill process, where you are getting better over time, but it may be one step forward, two steps back some days. Just from what I've read on this and other websites, I've heard people report feeling markedly better at about six weeks, and some report feeling "almost normal" at 90 days. I know it's different for everyone, so you really can't go by it. The six week mark is coming up soon for you, I think? Please let us know how you are doing. Several of us are planning to go off fairly soon and are interested in your experience.
Hope you feel better. I AM thinking about you, and I hope that helps.
Lilly


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:13 am 
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Thank you so much, hatmaker and lillyval! I was on opiates continuously for 9 months for a chronic pain condition. When my tolerance started increasing and developed something called hypalgesia (sp?) where it actually made my condition worse than on pills, I was put on sub. That was for 7 months. So, continous opiate use for 16 months total. I had been off and on in the past, but like one script here and there, not every day.

Yes, I am definitely trying to not look back, but more understand "why" I am feeling the way I do and what happened. My sub doc said "people go off 2 mgs just fine" to me, so I guess I am trying to educate myself more as to what happened, and understand that this is normal from people who have been there. I guess it's an attempt to make sure that I am not crazy for having a rough time of it. And, I bet your right..the pregnancy probably makes it worse. A lot of it could be stress too, as I have some MAJOR life changes around the bin. I don't feel physically/emotionally ready for all of it, even though it's good stuff.

I like hearing that 6 weeks is a good turning point, then 90 days. There are some days where I do really good, and others where I feel like I am back to Day 15 or so. I have to agree with many others on here, the mental/emotional part has definitely been tougher than the physical. Overall, I have continued working, life responsibilities, etc. I have to remind myself when I start getting down of that fact..that I AM at work, in society, doing things, etc. not sitting at home crumbled in a ball. So, overall, it's managable...just a lot longer than I thought. But, again, I jumped really high so I wonder if others that taper have an easier go of it. Thanks again! You guys are awesome!

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:42 pm 
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Valleygirl,

Congrats on being able to stop the subs! I know how hard it is. I remember when I found out I was pregnant (over 3 years ago), I was taking Norcos daily. I was happy to be pregnant, but freaking out about having to quit. I stayed clean during the entire pregnancy, but always craved them. Of course after I had my baby, I was back and then even worse. I went on subs for over a year, and am off now I think it is like 110 days or so. PAWS is something I think about a lot because I have my moments and cravings. But when your pregnant, everything feels 100 x worse. So look at it this way, you are killing 2 birds with one stone.

Just try and take everything one day, one hour, or even minute at a time, even when you feel you can't. Everyone says different things about PAWS, so I never feel like I get any great answers, but from all the research I have done, the 2 year mark is supposed to be super. It seems like forever, but I am sure one day we can look back and say, that wasn't so bad.

I wish you the best, I always hated being pregnant, love my kids to death, but pregnancy sucks! So remember it will go fast and then you can really gauge how u feel. Sorry for rambling.

Stay strong!

Sher


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