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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 9:02 am 
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Here I am...day 2 of no sub. I only got to 2 mg and quit. Yesterday I was able to take my daughter out shopping and other than ringing in my ears and head...it was OK. I know I still have it in my body and am waiting for when its depleted in my system. I did sleep last night and this morning the buzzing is equal to when I quit an anti depressant a couple of years ago. So far theres nothing remarkable to speak of but I will keep posting.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2014 7:44 pm 
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Well...I barely stayed awake all day. Dozed on and off hour+ at a time. Every time I open my eyes I sneeze repeatedly, hot and cold flashes but I know this is the beginning. Will check in tomorrow and see how I feel.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 6:03 am 
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Hey MelissaCNA,
Wow, you are sleeping! I would try to enjoy those dozes! Most (including myself) find/found sleep pretty illusive for awhile after jumping. Sounds like you are doing well- keep it up!
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 9:04 am 
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Well today is day 3 and Im saying to myself WTF?! Yes Ive been in full agonist WD almost every month for the 9 years before my 3 years on Sub and Im waiting....it could be that its taking a while to leave my system? I am sneezing, hot, cold etc, napping a lot ...I know I wont get off scott free, it may take awhile. My husband is home today and all for support but so far so good...Has this happened to anyone?? In the past Ive had ALL the symptoms everyone talked about and the goose for weeks (shits). I still have an annoying buzzing in my head but shit...Im not getting my hopes up yet. If I get through day 4, maybe I'll be OK?

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 9:17 am 
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I just remembered my mom came to my dreams last night, she passed a year ago at 59 from Pancreatic cancer. My emotions are so close to the surface that I cant stop crying. They've been suppressed for years from Sub and now I have to grieve...I also feel the rumbles in my stomache :shock:

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 4:51 pm 
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I am sneezing more than I have in my life! It's getting annoying. Still hot-cold, lethargic. Thought it would be worse at this point.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 8:33 am 
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Start of day 4...had a restless night but Clonodine does help with sweats and resting. I took half of a 2 mg pill. Lots of broken sleep and dreams of my mom. In one I was hugging her and wailing and the wailing is what woke me then I broke out into tears. I miss her deeply and the Sub suppressed my emotions, now they are at the surface. I then watched TV for 2 hours until 5AM. Now the goose is coming...the goose is coming...shits. LOL. A voice is saying "so far so good...not too bad...just take a piece....." See what today brings... Honestly I planned on being deathly ill at this point like in the past with a full agonist. Not sure if I will get away totally unscathed but we'll see. Off to the bathroom....... :oops:

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 2:51 pm 
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I'm glad to see you're keeping your sense of humor throughout your ordeal of withdrawing off sub, it will serve you well I think. It must be a tremendous relief that things aren't as bad as you thought they were going to be either. Happy to hear that you're not as terribly ill as you thought you'd be. Those thoughts you're having of taking a little piece. ... IGNORE THEM! sneaky little things, lol, they'll go away! Just imagine your sub free life and your dream career, you can do this ! Have you tried immodium for the bathroom issues? I've heard it works very well. Congrats on 5 days in Melissa! : )


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 2:54 pm 
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Hey Melissa!
Congrats on Day 4!! Woo hoo! Great job!
You "may" start getting better now,and not worse but (and not trying to scare you, just prepare you!), Trainer who also jumped from2mgs had her "worst" days around days 7-10 I think, but still totally manageable. You will never be as sick or uncomforable as you were going through wdls from other opiates (I detoxed off oxy, methadone, and pure codine and those were all WAY worse than suboxone)

I think the duration was the hardest part. Hang in there! Time is on your side!! In time you will feel great again!

I'm so sorry about your mom. It is very normal to be really "feeling" all those surpressed emotions right now. When I was at the height of my wdls, I found it better just to "shelve" all those sad thoughts for awhile, and then I processed them later when I was stronger. It is asking alot of yourself I think to grieve and detox at the same time. Be gentle with yourself.

Don't foregt hot baths, excercise, music, get outdoors!
Keep posting- you can do it!
Peace, BF

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 5:18 pm 
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Thanks guys...right now Im wearing the 'lead suit". I sleep, yawn, sneeze and poop all day. No appetite and drinking Gatorade. I had no energy to take my daughter to soccer practice, my husband stormed out the door. He understands but this is also the 1st time I'm home, I work FT 3-11 shift so I will drag my ass out to pick her up. I am sweating also, just cant cool off. But all in all, not what I thought. We'll see what tomorrow brings. I did cheat and take 1mg Sat AM so I guess Im only day 3. Do you think its still in me?

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:02 am 
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Hey-
IMO if you REALLY are "ready" and don't want to turn back, get rid of any more sub you have around so you don't "cheat" again and set yourself back. Also then it will be off your mind- just not an option any more.
A bit after my jump (a few weeks I think? can't remember), I found some suboxone in an old purse and it was a real mind-f---. My "forum friends' helped me make the choice to get rid of it, and as soon as it was gone I felt much better and "lighter".
BUT if you think you "may" relapse on something worse, please keep it! Maybe give it to your husband to hold to make it more difficult for you to "cheat"?
Your call of course!
Hang in there and keep posting!
:D BF

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:43 am 
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Hang in there CNA! Dont worry about the dreams its a concequence of clonidine (i also have very strong and disturbing dreams more often since taking clonidine)..but I'll take it over no sleep at all..
P.S. In 5 days time I will also jump (i have 1+crums mg's of sub left)..been on .25 for the last week..I said I would jump off from .5 but couldnt get myself to let go so I prolonged the inevitable ;) But in a few days it's jumping time.. I have again reacquainted myself with the feeling of slight wd's after getting quite stable at .5 so I now know again what I'm in for but also realising it is not as bad as we make the fear in our minds..
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:57 am 
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Fuser...you'll do great. You got to such a low dose. I couldn't do that. BTW...I gave the last of my Subs to my husband to get rid of them...all 5 two mgs. Last night was the worst by far with RLS but tolerable. I contemplated taking a Xanax but didn't. I took a whole clonidine before bed-2mg so I suppose the leg thing would be worse. BUT....DARE I SAY THE SUB FOG IS LIFTING! YAHOO! So what I took 1 mg Sat Am to power through my prep to get ready for this week...kids etc...in hindsight I probably didn't need it so Im at a solid 3 days, today is day 4.I plan on loafing again (raining cold, kids in school, hub at work) and trying to get out tomorrow. First day I have house to myself. I need to give myself a motivational speech to shower and perform hygiene. LOL. You will stink and sweat and all that good stuff. If I make it through tomorrow, other than insomnia I will be coming out the other side. Then the work begins... we ARE sick people and TG I have the support of friends who went through the same thing. My BFF quit sub 2-11 and is getting there. Had some bad relapses with alcohol and took an oxy but now shes staying the course. Goes to meetings several times a week. Ive gone in the past to AA but don't know if its for me. She wants me to go to AA but I feel that's my "parents", I think NA is more for me but it is a different side to the same coin. Once I feel better I will put a plan in place. So far its doable. Not as bad as some stories Ive read....so far :D

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Last edited by MelissaCNA on Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:58 am 
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Oh...and the freaking sneezing is relentless! :oops:

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:06 am 
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Sneezing :) tell me about it..I've gone from 3's to 4 in a row..counting it will go to 5 very soon.. I feel you about the hygiene..I need a monumental push to do it..water just doesnt feel nice these days..even hot water at the begining feels creepy ;)


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:21 pm 
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Whats with the sneezing anyways? Why does it happen? Im going to a meeting with a friend tomorrow and I don't want them to think Im sick with all this shite going around. Im just dopesick. Its actually a scary time to be accepting a new job in a hospital.

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Last edited by MelissaCNA on Wed Oct 15, 2014 7:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 4:18 pm 
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I just started tapering sub's yesterday. I was taking 4 mg twice a day. Now I'm taking 3 mg twice a day. My doctor told me to keep taking it twice a day. Should I just take it once a day? I'm doing the tapering slowly. I just don't want to be sick at Christmas. I've been on sub's over 3 years. When I found out my doctor was retiring (i found out about a month ago) and I couldn't find another sub doctor I decided I really should get off this stuff. I cried everyday worrying about going through withdrawals. I know the pain too well when withdrawaling from pain pills and I damn sure don't want to do that again ! But I know I'm gonna have too. I just hope sub's aren't as bad... CNA, I hope you feel better everyday. Bless your heart ! Good luck darling !

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 4:25 pm 
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Melissa-
You are doing so great! Congratulations!!! I remember your post on my topic saying you were going to stop soon, sounds like so far it hasn't been that bad (besides the sneezing and shitting). You can catch up on your reading :D

At 5 days you are probably past the worst of it, but everyone is different. The sneezing for me at least took over 2 weeks to stop. I have no idea why. If someone could give a medical reason for sneezing all the damn time when quitting I would love to hear it. I was lucky I was quitting before the whole Ebola scare so people weren't running screaming from me. Just pretend that you have really bad allergies.

I know it can be really hard on relationships, mine for one didn't make it through my addiction. But tell you husband all the positive things that are coming- money being saved, the real you being back, and just wait for the sex drive to kick in again. I took suboxone for over 4 years and my sex drive slipped away month by month and I never once thought it was the sub. After about 2 weeks after stopping it returned with a fury.

Good luck and keep us posted


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:40 pm 
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OK so a little TMI, my sex drive is coming back...lets say things are twitching down there. LOL. I remember in full agonist WD, I had to go relieve myself...KWIM?? It was borderline annoying. Its starting again but later in the game. This time I don't have to try to "hide" it from my husband but withdrawal is flippin impossible to hide from. He'd be more than happy to help that part. :P One cant possibly be sick almost every month. Anyway...my sneezes went from 1-2 to 5-6 at a time.My daughter laughs, my sons annoyed. Its annoying to the point I took a Sudafed and it helped. Im also stuffy and went through 3 boxes of tissues. I look like Rudolph. I actually looked at myself in the mirror today and HOLY SHITE...my pupils are HUGE! Ive read about it but never experienced it except for when I tried an antidepressant 2 years ago, Pristiq. I always tried other stuff in hopes I would stop using or it would help me. I am feeling impending doom for the night and sleep. Last night I slept for 2 hours after Clonidine then the GD RLS started. That's the worst! The goose is subsiding and (pause to sneeze 5 times GRRRRRRRRRRR) in all reality in full agonist it was way worse. This just drags on. I remember by day 3 I was up and getting around, not sleeping during the day ( I was in WD almost every month for 6 years!)...here I am a full 4 days almost down and I still sleep during the day and just woke up also after an hour nap. I hate that too...the sleeping. Im yawning, hot, cold, night sweats etc but its not nearly as bad as I thought and jumping from 2mg I thought I would die.,,,but Im living to tell about it and feel like aside from insomnia it will pass soon. Update tomorrow....

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:55 pm 
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wannabfree wrote:
I just started tapering sub's yesterday. I was taking 4 mg twice a day. Now I'm taking 3 mg twice a day. My doctor told me to keep taking it twice a day. Should I just take it once a day? I'm doing the tapering slowly. I just don't want to be sick at Christmas. I've been on sub's over 3 years. When I found out my doctor was retiring (i found out about a month ago) and I couldn't find another sub doctor I decided I really should get off this stuff. I cried everyday worrying about going through withdrawals. I know the pain too well when withdrawaling from pain pills and I damn sure don't want to do that again ! But I know I'm gonna have too. I just hope sub's aren't as bad... CNA, I hope you feel better everyday. Bless your heart ! Good luck darling !

Don't worry! I tried the gammet from dosing once a day to splitting and I just stuck with the once a day. I admit to crapping out around 5-7PM after dosing in AM once until my body adjusted from a jump. People at work would ask me if I was feeling OK. For me...its not as bad as full agonist. Coming off Vicoprofen was the worst, I think from all the Ibuprofen I was consuming daily. Oxi's not so bad. This WAY better. I just went to my Dr Mon for comfort meds and to tell him Im done and prior to that the nurse gave me letter stating by Dec 31, he will no longer prescribe. I laughed and she says "you do know you need to find another Dr for this" I said "Im done with this shit med anyway and today is my last visit but I feel sorry for the others" Then I though how much anxiety I would of been in that day. Panic. Us addicts are infiltrating and taking over his practice plus its free for me since I have great insurance through my husband and any maintenance visit is 0 copay and I always used the coupon for the meds. I think that's how he got so busy, he is a GP that takes insurance. That further cemented my choice and I always feared after 3+ years somehow the rug would be pulled out from under me, I just beat it to the punch. There is a shady dude in town that takes cash only and submits you to all these experiments...not going there. In all honesty I had far more than 2 mg in my system because I started to abuse it after my mom died last summer. I never exceeded 8 in a day and stuck to 2-4 last 2 weeks before jump,except for a F-it moment the Monday prior, I took 8mg. It was time for me and if I can do it...anyone can. I carried Subs around like an extra body part in case "I needed more". You will do fine!! Do your jump in Nov and don't worry about getting too low. It seems to me we're all the same no matter the dose you come off of. It lasts longer maybe for some but theres not much difference. Having done it before you kinda know what to expect also and the key for me was preparing. Time off, food shop, clean the house, laundry etc...easy meals for kids etc...You will spend a lot of time on the couch flat out stinking :mrgreen: LOL Cuz its like moving a mountain to take a shower. However...I do not have as much funk as in full agonist. I remember I couldn't stand myself and was wondering where this stink was emanating from but this is not as bad...I PROMISE. JUST DO IT!

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