It is currently Fri Aug 18, 2017 9:08 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 61 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 1:44 am 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2014 11:14 pm
Posts: 35
...


Last edited by wannabfree on Wed Oct 22, 2014 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 7:50 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
OMG...last night I took 1 mg Xanax to sleep...wasn't working then took half clonidine on top of a Sudafed. I was desperate and still only slept until 2AM. Took another Xanax and stayed awake (.50)I'm limited on the Xanax and supply is dwindling. I am scared. I know I will have slight WD with that as well. I got up at 6:30 to take my son to the bus and feel like a sweaty pig and as a matter of fact I am typing this from the throne...LOL... :mrgreen: Man...welp, day 5 it is. Go me. Going to a meeting with a fiend today at 11:30, trying to gather some energy and motivation. My body aches from laying around since Sunday. UGH. My skin feels like crust, dried out. I am still sneezing. Despite a small reprieve from Sudafed, still going strong. Have to muster energy to unload dishwasher and food shop...again. The monkeys in my ear..."take a crumb, you'll feel better" F you monkey!

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 9:06 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
It just took every fiber of my being to catch up on house work...I hate this no energy crap. It really is a drag.

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 9:18 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2014 7:09 am
Posts: 71
MelissaCNA wrote:
It just took every fiber of my being to catch up on house work...I hate this no energy crap. It really is a drag.


Does it help knowing you're not the only one in this pathetic condition? ;) ..and I havent even made the jump yet.(0.25mg)..so that makes me feel scared
My last couple of days revolve around laying..laying..feeling like sh..., just waiting for gym time which relieves me of discomfort for a few hours and seems to get the endorphines going .. Ironic how I definitely am in the best physical condition of my life..yet feel like crap from this little devil crumbs I've been hooked on for almost a decade...keep going CNA you are very very very close..theat mourning when everything will feel different is too close now..


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 11:24 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
I hope so cuz I just pulled an 8 outta my wallet while looking for something. It's a struggle. My friend cant make meeting so we'll go tomorrow. I know if I just "take a little bit" it will set me back. FLUCK!! I got a lot to do and no motivation. Fuser...at least youre doing the gym! I haven't seen the inside of one since I started this shit. I used to go all the time. What the hell happened to me.

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 11:32 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2014 7:09 am
Posts: 71
If you end up taking it..although I hope not since you've made it too far..at least dont take it to get high..meaning if you take more than 1mg you will effectively throw the last 4 days of feeling like shit down the drain... right back at the start..
Go outside. .make yourself sweat like a pig..and that will get the monkey out of your head..


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 4:50 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
Essentially what happened was I carried it around for a bit, looked at it, felt it, smelled it, contemplated the ups and downs, set back, regret etc, maybe I should "save" it just in case, all the shit that goes through your head...vs feeling great for a day and is it worth it...I called my GF who quit sub in Feb and I ended up crying and ultimately flushed it down the toilet with her on the phone supporting me and now its off my mind as I have NOTHING to fall back on. It was old and crumbly and I watched it dissolve in the toilet. Man...the thoughts and fighting that goes back and forth in your head is insane. I disposed of it though and didn't give in :) Going to a meeting tonight. Ending of day 5...yay me!

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 11:54 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2014 11:14 pm
Posts: 35
YAY!!!!!!!

_________________
Jumping out of the fire was harder than staying in it.....


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 11:57 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More

Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2014 11:14 pm
Posts: 35
The withdrawals last about 2 weeks right?

_________________
Jumping out of the fire was harder than staying in it.....


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 7:41 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
DUNNO...I am on day 6 today WOOHOO and yesterday was out until midnight, no daytime naps!. It felt great to go to a meeting and get out and hang and laugh with my friend whom I haven't seen in so long but shes by my side 24-7. We're going to another meeting tonight. As soon as my eyes open the sneezing starts and stuffiness. My legs were calmer last night...energy not up to par but Im doing what I have to get done.

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 2:20 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
Day 6 and I finally took Immodium...man Its hitting with more force than before! I barely made it through a meeting. UGH! I feel like Im carrying around dead weight still.

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2014 4:39 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
Will not be taking Immodium again! It made me lightheaded and more TIRED! Im SICK OF BEING TIRED! On the upside, not peeing out my ass :mrgreen:

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2014 10:39 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
Moving into day 7...feel real bad. Dare I say worse then last 2 days? I am lightheaded, weak, feel like Im carting a 400lb body and now its 50 out and I have to go to my daughters soccer game. Chills are worse, still sneezing etc....Its wearing on me.

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Sun Oct 19, 2014 10:56 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
Going into day 8. A full 7 days down. WOW. I still have the runs, sneezing like nuts, stuffy, feel better but no where near 100% I look at my yard and the pool and all the mess and what needs to be done and 0 energy to do it. I have like 3 Xanax left so Im freaking out a bit and thinking this is my last night of some sleep and now I have to get by without that and get over more withdrawals. Oh well, just gotta get through it. On the good side the lead suit is dissapearing. I wish I were more positive....

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 7:24 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
DAY 9 OH YEAH OH YEAH!!! No Xanax either, took last of it last night OH SHIT OH SHIT. Nah...I'll be OK, total abstinence. I still sneeze my head off, lead suit is slipping away day by day, Im stuffed up but aside from body aches and sleeping 2-3 hours a night...IM OK! I do admit, Im scared to go back to work tomorrow and need to a lot today after laying around for nearly a week. I cant hack to look of my couch nor bed anymore. Im going to go to NA tonight as well. Just for today...Im doing it!!!

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 8:05 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
Day 10...guess my thread fizzled out. Oh well. Last night was the worst night yet, tossed and turned and got a half hour sleep. Paying the pauper for using a benzo to sleep in the early days. Going back to work tonight and Im scared...I feel out of my realm per say. Attending great meetings. Go me... :lol:

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:13 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 4:54 pm
Posts: 626
Location: Virginia
Your thread hasn't fizzled out Melissa, I'm still following right along with all the progress you're making each day! I'm glad you've found meetings that you like also, many people have found them to be the most important and helpful thing in the world after stopping suboxone. It's a tough and trying time right now, and you'll need all the support you can get.
Good luck at your new job tonight! You sound very strong and determined, I think you'll do great!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 9:59 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
Day 12...3rd night with no sleep! Now I have sleep anxiety. I feel so foreign at my job...its soooo weird. I fully expected to crash last night but nope...fell asleep around 5AM for half hour. UGH. Anyway moving on,RLS is pretty much gone. I can relax in bed although I don't sleep. Im still sneezing and I cant wait to see how I feel after a good night sleep. Holding of on Trazadone script. Ive never taken it before and haven't picked it up. Any experiences??

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 12:36 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2014 9:15 pm
Posts: 83
Location: Seattle
Melissa stay strong you are getting through the worst of it as we speak. Sleep was that last thing to return to normal for me and it is VERY taxing on your mind and body going night after night without sleeping. I remember around 2 weeks things started improving and by day 20 or so I could really see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sure things were not perfect still, but manageable. You have come this far there is no reason to turn back now!

_________________
Sub free since July 2nd, 2014!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2014 1:44 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:08 pm
Posts: 89
Location: NWNJ
Thanks Tiki! I just cant wait until just walking, let alone work, food shopping, laundry etc...doesn't feel like I'm dragging around lead with me. I cant even walk how I did, weird huh? When I gotta get up, it takes a lot of encouragement from oneself. LOL. Day 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_________________
I want the monkey off my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 61 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group