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 Post subject: sub and benzoz
PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 6:34 am 
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was on 125mg methadone for 4 years and would go on benzo binges completely destroying my life.decided i had to get off of methadone to keep me away from people offering me benzoz at the methadone clinic.I went to a so-called detox guru who switched me from methadone to oxys for 8 days then switched me over to bupe.All the time he was also telling me it was ok to use benzoz during the transition.Now I'm stabalized on the bupe put still dabbling with benzoz wich as also opened the door for me to do other drugs like speed.These nasty binges are destroying my life.Everytime I go to the DR office to get a bupe scrip it triggers me to con my Doc into giving me a scrip for benzoz.Although I dont feel physically addicted to benzoz yet,I am psycologically addicted.I feel like I tamed one beast but not the other.I thought once I got off methadone I wouldn't want benzoz.Very naive on my part.If someone has had a similar experience please help.I keep thinking I can control the benzoz but I cant.They make me go completely insane.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 9:40 am 
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Hi scott and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. When I was in active addiction with opiates I was also physically and psychologically hooked on xanax. I gave them both up when I started on suboxone. It sounds to me like you need to slowly wean yourself off those benzos. Not just because you're still in active addiction with them, but also because it's very, very dangerous to be abusing benzos while taking sub. It could kill you if you take too many benzos just once. But benzo withdrawals are dangerous, too. I know this won't be easy, but I would suggest you come clean with your doctor about all of it. Ask him/her to help you wean off the benzos. I know this is probably not what you want to hear and I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, but I just want to be honest with you. Please be careful and let us know how you are doing. Good luck.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:45 pm 
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I know exactly how you feel with the benzo 'binges'! I have always loved xanax, even before I got addicted to pain pills. After a while of taking pain pills, I switched to xanax, thinking this would help me kick the opiates and then I would just quit both (HA). I would take so many benzos and drink alcohol too sometimes and then I would forget so much stuff- And it made me a thief too...When I started subs, I still took benzos in the beginning quite a bit for horrible anxiety I had after giving birth to my second son...I would forget whole days worth of my life and my son's lives...and was incredibly sleepy on them with the subs so I took speed...usually adderall, to stay up and the combo made me a complete psycho. 5 months ago my husband told me to look at my relationship with my kids, my oldest son(he's 4) had become so distant from me, our relationship was nothing like it used to be...and so I just quit, stopped taking them...it was really hard, and I'm sure I should have had some medical assistance, but was embarrassed. 5 months later, hings are good, I just have to find different ways to deal with my anxiety...and that's really hard sometimes...The holidays are especially hard because I just want to drift through them in a benzo haze like I did the past couple years...But I know what's best for my family and me...I hope you can find something that keeps you off, I know i'ts SO hard. I'm here if you ever want to talk, I understand where you are at!

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:16 pm 
Welcome to the forum scottredondo!! I am positive you will find everything you need on this forum. I feel for you and your situation. I really hope you can get that under control.



Mihonoja:

I have gotten myself in a whole lot of trouble from taking benzo's because i always steal stuff when i use to take them. Mostly when i take a big amount but is that not crazy. I have never understood why this is. Everybody i use to take them with did the same thing. It makes no sense because i wouldnt ever think twice about stealing when i was sober. Benzo's are definitely a crazy medication and can cause a heap of problems. Anyways, i dont wanna take over this thread talking about stuff like that. I just thought that was pretty crazy to hear of yet another person who turns overnight thief when taking benzo's lol. Im so so glad those days for me are so far over and in the past. Scottredondo again welcome to the forum and i hope you will stick around to share more of your story. Might i say their is an ifinite amount of information on this forum. ~PEACE~


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 Post subject: makes me feel better :)
PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:00 pm 
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that makes me feel SO much better, knowing that I'm not the only person who became a horrible lying thief on benzos...I think what it is-the xanax like relaxes you to think you an do anything and get away with it and totally takes away your conscious and morality...god, i am so glad those days are over too...waking up from a binge just to think about all the crazy horrible shit you did while you were high and then that, in turn, makes you wanna get high again! I am so happy to hear from other people who have been through this craziness...thanks so much for responding :)

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:05 am 
Scottredondo:

Please let us know how things work out for you. I wish you much luck with this. I will say that, if you arent yet physically addicted to benzo's, you definitely will be. Its just a matter of time. In my opinion, they are close to one of the most dangerous medications/drugs. It can lead you to do things you wouldnt ordinarily do. Its caused overdose and death in many of my friends who mixed it with opiates. I've had 3 friends that passed away in the last 3 years. 1 was overdosed on xanax, oxy and cocaine. Another was methadone and xanax. And then a 3rd that was just a month ago and it is still undetermined what exactly he took. I just pray you can get it under control before it gets too bad. Again let us know. Goodluck!!



mihonoja:

Your definitely not alone. I've been their and im not going back. Crazy enough, i didnt ever get caught. But only reason is, benzo makes you so relaxed that when your in the act, your not acting all sketchy and nervous. Your just cool calm and collective. Benzo is dangerous if abused. I have honestly, an im sure you will be able to relate to at least somethin similar. I've woke up in jail before, not knowing how and why i was their all because i took an indefinite amount of xanax the night before. My friend use to get crazy in that, he would be riding down the road running signs over with his truck as if he were making a left turn. Just vrroooom bang woops what was that. I hit a sign. Oh ok kool lol. Enough about all that. I know this isnt the time or the place for crazy stories from the past. Sorry to the original poster of this thread.


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