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 Post subject: Struggling Addict
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 6:13 pm 
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Hi. I'm 35 years old and currently taking 2 8mg. sub strips daily.

I've hit bottom recently as I've lost a group of friends I lied to. I didn't tell them I was an addict and things went south.

Admitting that I am one, physically hurts me. Tears, anger, the whole 9 yards.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 20 and put on Effexor. I started at 300 mg. and tapered to 75m. That's the dose I'm at today.

I take 1 mg. clonazepam at night.

Here's the kicker and what really gets me now that I know better. I was prescribed Suboxone because I was addicted to percs and vicodin. (after a back surgery 12 years ago). I wasn't on heroin or anything. Just pills and the docs put me on Subs. WHY???!!! They are worse than a pill addiction...

I'm so tired of all the drugs!
I don't know if I have the will to get off all of them. I WANT to...but...

I've been without the sub for 48 hours and thought I was going to die.
Being on this drug is killing me, I can feel it. My brain. My spirit. My will to live.
Can anyone tell me where to begin?

Thank you ahead of time...


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 Post subject: Re: Struggling Addict
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 11:07 pm 
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Hello Glostaddict,
Welcome. .
It is a shame your "friends would turn there collective backs on you. Maybe im wroug, but some understanding of addiction would have helped. Addicts are full of shame from there addiction, I know I was. We cant let others opinions stop us from working on ourselves and recovery..

To understand Suboxone is to understand Opiate Addiction. Buprenorphine treatment is for All types of opiate addiction. Not "just" H. If perks and viks weren't so deadly we all could just taper off of them and live happily ever after. This just isnt the case. We're losing more than 60 people a day to this pill poppin disease. It doesn't matter witch opiate .These are CDC numbers.

Sorry your having a hard time. I hope you have thought of some kind of recovery plan if jumping off subs is what you feel is warranted. Your on a fairly high dose at 16mgs aday. I dont know what your pill tolerance was or how loug you have been on suboxone, but Id taper back to get started.
You could drop to 12 or even 8 mgs tomarrow and most likely feel better. Either way it begin you need to drop your dose .

It sounds like you are blaming the sub for your feelings. I understand your disparation , but this med has saved many lives, including mine.

Try this. Drop your dose to 12 for a few days. A week or so. Then to 8mg. There are many taper threads here in the Stopping section.

It would be wonderful if we could all be drugfree, all our friends an family would be so proud. Hell the world would pat us on the back. But for now we fight it, and have bupe to help.

Keep posting Glost..im sure others will come by to give an opinion. Just my 2 cents here, but try dropping off the 16mgs, a d then see how you do...


Razor


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 Post subject: Re: Struggling Addict
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 11:17 pm 
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Hello, I can only tell you of my experience and how suboxone has helped me. I am 55 and became addicted to tramadol after it being prescribed for my osteoarthritis. I knew of my propensity to abuse any narcotic and had been terrified of going through withdrawl. I began shopping on line for tramadol and was spending more and more and taking more and more. Last August they changed the class of drug for tramadol and it became impossible to get online. That is what pushed me to start suboxone. I started at 24 mg. and I am now at 8mg. I only wanted to be on suboxone for one year. Now I know it is going to be longer. I hope that you can stop feeling bad about suboxone and look at it as a tool. Are you ready to start a plan to taper? If not, it's ok. Good luck with whatever you decide is best for you!


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 Post subject: Re: Struggling Addict
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 11:43 pm 
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You already found where to begin in my opinion. The feelings your having are normal. Addicts have to face themselves at some point. Those aren't friends you lost if they found out your sick and dropped you. This lifestyle isn't something you intend to acquire. I'll help you get started because I've been figuring it out on my own with no success for a long time. Getting real with myself and being honest has worked in my favor this time around. Staying positive at the breaking points and opening my mouth has helped. I'm a simple man so I try to look at things in a simple manner. That is why I think you've already got yourself started. Your want to change. That's important. Run with that and don't look back.


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 Post subject: Re: Struggling Addict
PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2015 4:06 pm 
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Hey Gloat and welcome.

As razor said, suboxone is for all opiate addiction, pills is just as abused as H and I'm sure as hard as to come off of too. It totally does suck that u lost ur friends. I walked away from mine when I became addicted because I was too ashamed to be around them. I have rekindled a lot of those friendships after starting suboxone and getting my life straight again. I've always been honest about my addiction, it's definitely better to just be honest with ppl, cause in my experience they're going to talk anyway. I feel like if friends or loved ones see that ur trying to get help, they will absolutely respect u more. So if ur friends can't stick around through ur hard times when u need them most, how good of friends were they to begin with? Addiction happens to good ppl, educated ppl, poor ppl, and rich ppl.....it doesn't make us losers or weak. I hope u could look at suboxone as a great tool to recovery instead of another drug. It's a world of difference than the opiates u were addicted to. Good luck and I hope u get some peace with ur choice to be on suboxone. It truly has saved my life :)

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 Post subject: Re: Struggling Addict
PostPosted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:23 pm 
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jennjenn wrote:
Hey Gloat and welcome.

As razor said, suboxone is for all opiate addiction, pills is just as abused as H and I'm sure as hard as to come off of too. It totally does suck that u lost ur friends. I walked away from mine when I became addicted because I was too ashamed to be around them. I have rekindled a lot of those friendships after starting suboxone and getting my life straight again. I've always been honest about my addiction, it's definitely better to just be honest with ppl, cause in my experience they're going to talk anyway. I feel like if friends or loved ones see that ur trying to get help, they will absolutely respect u more. So if ur friends can't stick around through ur hard times when u need them most, how good of friends were they to begin with? Addiction happens to good ppl, educated ppl, poor ppl, and rich ppl.....it doesn't make us losers or weak. I hope u could look at suboxone as a great tool to recovery instead of another drug. It's a world of difference than the opiates u were addicted to. Good luck and I hope u get some peace with ur choice to be on suboxone. It truly has saved my life :)



Great post Jennjenn! I bet there are people who were judgemental that got hooked after a surgery and have now learned addiction can happen to anyone!


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 Post subject: Re: Struggling Addict
PostPosted: Fri Jul 03, 2015 5:35 pm 
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I agree with Fullsolidplan. At some point we addicts have to face ourselves. Your story makes you sound like a victim. Do you know why you feel like suboxone is worse than a pill addiction? Because suboxone gives you the time and space to take a look at yourself. When you were on pills you were numb with no time for self-reflection.

In order for the doctors to change your medication you had to consent. I know that we tend to feel desperate when we find out that the pills are going to stop, but you could have investigated suboxone and known what the drug was about. I think it's disingenuous to pretend that you were somehow pushed or tricked into going on sub. I also find it hard to believe that you felt like you were going to die after 48 hours of no sub considering that the half-life of sub is 24 to 42 hours. In other words, you still had half of the original sub you took in your system after 24 to 42 hours, not to mention the sub you still had in your system from the previous days. That's how suboxone works. It's a long-acting drug. The fact that you claim that you were feeling like dying after 48 hours is either an exaggeration or a lie.

I don't know. Your whole post just rings false to me. I can't tell if you posted this story here to try to make sub look bad, or if you're trying to get sympathy, or if you just have this little insight into your own story. I do feel sympathy toward you, because whatever your motive, it doesn't seem like you're in a good place. It seems like your story rang true enough to most of the folks here and it's not like I'm never wrong. :)

I would just ask you, if you want to hang around here (and you're welcome to. I can totally stay off your posts.), to be as real about yourself as possible. If you're truly in the situation in your story, asking for help is a good first step. Tapering is also a good step to see if you're on a dose that is optimal for you.

Amy

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