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PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 5:44 pm 
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Hi,

this morning i was looking for some gum in her purse and found a prescription bottle of suboxone. 8mg, half a tablet twice a day. The scrip was recent and only a few pills left. I've spent some time reading about it today and understand what its for. I had no idea she was taking this or had any kind of problem. we've been together almost a year and i'm somewhat blindsided by this. i haven't confronted her about it yet. i love her very much and plan on bringing it up soon. i want to be supportive but i'm very hurt that she's kept this from me. i feel like i really may not know her.

i had my run-in with coke and other stuff 15+ years ago but got myself off it long ago and never touch any of it anymore. she's told me that years ago she had problems with oxy's but that was years ago. she always has problems going to the bathroom, sometimes it takes her days. her sex drive is down and she's gained a little weight. her menstrual cycle has been very erratic over the last several months. sometimes she has a period every 10 days.

as i said i love her very much but i'm looking for advice here on how to bring it up to her in the most positive way. i don't have it in me to not say anything as i don't think its good for our relationship to have something like that between us. i'd appreciate any insight you might have to offer. i want to handle this in the best way possible.

thank you for your time.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 6:25 am 
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Hi concerned and welcome to the forum. I can sense from your words that you're very hurt by this and I can understand why. Let's take the simplest approach and assume that she is taking suboxone to treat an opiate addiction. That means that she's addressed her active addiction and is in recovery. Try to remember that. That's better than finding out that she's in the midst of active addiction with no solution on the horizon, right? I know it may not feel any different, but the way I see it, at least she's got herself into recovery and is helping herself to get better.

I understand you need to confront her on it and it probably would be best for the relationship to get it out in the open. As a recovering addict myself I can tell you that there is a great deal of shame and stigma surrounding opiate addiction. There can also be much judgment involved for people who are on suboxone - not always, but often people don't support those who are on suboxone as a legitimate treatment. She could have been very afraid if she told you that she would lose you. Obviously I can't know her specific reasons for not telling you, but I'm guessing fear of rejection is her main motive.

When you talk to her I would suggest you be gentle and understanding. I'm not saying you can't express your feelings about having this hidden from you, but remember, chances are she feared you would reject her over this. When she finds out you now know, that fear may spring to the surface. If you plan on staying with her, I would make sure she knows that you still love her and although you are upset that she kept it from you that you still love her and you want to work through it.

I don't know if this will help you. It's only my opinion after all and the way I would handle such a situation. I wish you the best in handling it and if you wish to, please let us know how it works out.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 8:43 am 
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Hi concerned,
I would consider bringing it up just the way you did here. I was looking for some gum....
Also, be aware that some people go on Sub when they haven't actively used opiates for long period of time. There are members here who got on Sub because they were starting to crave drugs again and wanted to avert a relapse. So don't assume that she was using in the time you have been together.
You sound like a caring person. I hope you will be able to support her decision.
Good luck to you both,
Lilly


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 9:53 am 
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Hi concerned,

You've already got a couple of great responses, I just wanted to reiterate that Suboxone is quite different from other opiates. The vast majority do NOT get stoned on Suboxone because it's a partial agonist......for most of us, it's a life saver. It helped me to end years and years and years of heavy opiate abuse. Suboxone is a drug that aids us in our recovery.

I just wanted to make sure that you were fully aware that Suboxone has saved many, many of us.

While I can fully understand why you would be hurt by your girlfriend neglecting to tell you the truth about the situation, like Hatmaker said, there is such shame and stigma surrounding opiate addiction and using Suboxone to aid in your recovery that it drives many of us on Suboxone "underground."

I hope everything turns out OK.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:01 am 
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There's not much I can add, but I just wanted to reiterate that Suboxone may be an opiate, but it is a partial agonist opiate, which is very important. Some people report getting 'high' from it, but that seems to be the exception. Most people I've heard from say that it doesn't make them high, so it's not at all the same as taking an Oxy or another full agonist opiate. It's a way of avoiding those things while covering the opiate receptors so they aren't screaming at a person and driving them mad with cravings. In other words, it's a completely different thing to find a bottle of Suboxone in someone's purse than it is to find a bottle of Oxy.

I wanted to ask you something, though. You said the bottle was a recent prescription and there were only a few pills left. Are you concerned she is taking too much of it? Was it obvious that there should have been more left than there were? Of course, that doesn't mean she's conclusively abusing them. She may just not carry all her Sub around with her, which is actually smart. I'd approach her with the same manner and tone that you wrote this post, because you seem sincerely concerned and supportive. I hope you come back to let us know how it goes. You're a good boyfriend to have come on here looking for help. She's lucky. :)

laddertipper

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