It is currently Mon Aug 21, 2017 11:36 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: my story
PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 4:41 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2013 3:59 pm
Posts: 5
Hi. My name is Jess, this is my story...

I've been on and off various opiates for about 8 years now. I am only 23. At some points my use would be overkill, other times just recreational. About 2 years ago it got pretty bad. I became pregnant and obviously stopped using. No sutex, just cold turkey. (My use wasn't very bad at that exact time.) I was clean for about 3 month after my beautiful twins were born. I had a boy and girl named Jaidyn and Jameson. I started back on pills. I was prescribed norcos and fentanyl patches. I was soon taking 20 10mlg norco a day. I would chew I'm my patches when I ran out of pills. I still took great care of my children, just I was high...so really not so great. Anyways, I decided it was to get clean. My children are now 10 month. I had been clean for a lil over 3 when I relapsed. We had a death in the family and things were stressgul, still no excuse...I had chewed on a parched, after I had put my children to bed. I took too much...my father had the sudden urge to check on me. Thank god he did cause I was gasping for air(unconscious). My dad told my mom to call 911. My father tried to give me cpr...I dies in my fathers ARM. When the paramedics arrived, I was dead upon arrival. They called the chaplin to my house to pray with my family. (They do this someone dies on a 911 call.) The paramedics tried the fibulator on me twice, which are those medal pads they use to basically jumpstart someone's heart. They pronounced me dead. On the third try, I came back to life. It was weird, I had felt a huge surg of energy leave my body. I felt myself die. that only happened two weeks ago...it'll be two weeks tomorrow. I am so greatfull to be alive! But now, I am living with a lot of guilt. I almost left my children without a mother. How selfish is that of me? Just for a stupid high...all I can do now is make a better life for us and vow it will never happen again. Make sure it happens again. I love my children so much and they're worth it. They deserve so much better than that. Their dad isn't a very good parent either. He barely sees them. Anyways, went to my doctor yesterday, told him my story. He would normally make a patient wait 3 months before treating them again. But he said he could tell it shook me up and wants to take this opportunity to get me clean. Back on 8mg of subutex a day. I've never misused subutex, don't plan on it either.

Just looking for some extra support and encouragement. Thanks for reading. Wish you all the best of luck :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 12:01 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2011 2:10 pm
Posts: 231
Location: pacific nw
Hi jess and welcome!

Im so glad to hear you survived the overdose. Opiate addiction as you know can be deadly....it is no joke. Not something to play around with. Its good to hear your doctor took you back.

Are you doing any kind of treatment or counseling or anything? You had a scary experience. You have been using opiates for quite a while. I tend to think people need support along with the sub.
Since I have been in treatment this time, I am doing alot better. Im learning alot about boundaries and thinking errors. Im trying to prepare for life without sub.

I hope your family is being kind and giving you support. Kiss those twins and enjoy every second with them. My kids are older ( 21, 17, and 16.) It seems like they grew up sooo fast!

This is a great forum and I hope you stick around.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 3:02 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:48 pm
Posts: 1346
Location: oregon coast
yep..... you've been thru the "ringer" so to say, as well..... it's funny (well not ha ha funny)
that EACH ONE OF US comes from a "different place"
and a different addiction path, damage path, ETC
but we ALL have SO MUCH IN COMMON...............

welcome,
and Im glad you found us, glad your HERE and well.
yes, it is scary, it is shocking
you can't blame yourself, you HAVE to learn to forgive yourself. I know, EASIER said than done, FOR SURE
but it's definitely something worth NOT giving up.... think of how easily you forgive others,,,,
sometimes that can help.

I wish the VERY BEST in your journey.
if you have ANY questions, don't hesitate to ask,
and definitely hug the kiddos extra tight..... My son's FOUR already,,,
I went to wake my baby up one morning
and there was a LITTLE BOY THERE......... :wink:

looking forward to hearing more from you, sometime :wink:

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 1:11 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2013 3:59 pm
Posts: 5
Yes I made an appt to start therapy. I know I need it. Not just for my addiction, but just in every aspect of my life. I want to be a better person all around. Be the best mother I can. Thanks for the encouraging words guys! It's nice to read other peoples stories wh
ile still going through my own. It's funny, when I take my medicine and can't talk, I type on here haha

Still q very long road ahead, but I'm excited for my future. :)


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group