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 Post subject: My Story
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 5:25 pm 
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Well first off i would like to say hello to everyone and thank you for taking the time to read about my situation. I have struggled with addiction from the time i was a freshman in high school i knew there was something different about my drinking and drugging compared to the other guys i hung out with. Needless to say i grew up to be a full blown junkie. It was a long road, some years better then others, i served in the military for a number of years, ended up being discharged due to my addiction. i have been to plenty of inpatient rehabs and IOP programs, i have been to 6 month long church discipleship programs, i have been incarcerated due to my addiction also. Through all of this i never stayed clean. Buprenorphine has kept me clean for the past two years. Im not sure if i stay clean for my daughter or that i just finally came to the end of my rope, but the past few yrs i have been out of that life and i attribute most, if not all of that to bupe.

Now since i started bupe maintainance, i had a relationship with my daughters mother. We had met at a recovery meeting years before only to see each other a few years later and start a relationship. When I knew she had gotten pregnant I promised i would go to the sub dr and get to meetings and get my life together. I think this has been the first time i really truly wanted to stay clean for the long haul. Once our daughter was born , (i had been in recovery for about close to a year at this point)my Ex decided to get back on dope.( i had my suspicions about her using during the pregnancy but she never failed a test from the dr or hospital.) the past year and a half has been horrible. She has stolen from not only me , but also my mother and my sister a rough estimate of about 15 k total. She has tons of legal troubles other then the stealing from my family. i had even found evidence that she had been having a relationship with another guy. Even sneaking out late at night while me and my daughter were upstairs sleeping , thinking she was only downstairs watching tv. I saw some sexting text messages between her and this guy. like general things about what she liked sexually. not about them actually having sex.

She has now left for a 6 month rehab. This whole situation has been weighing on me heavily. She signed over full custody of our daughter to me. it is great being able to have her everyday. Alot of work, but i think its worth it. My daughter is my whole world anymore. I guess i just wrote out this whole thing to get peoples opinions on my situation. i know her parents will just let her move back home when she is done. that will just be the same situation she was in , so i expect this situation to happen again since nothing will have changed. I believe that my ex may really be a sociopath. Im not sure what came first ? sociopathy or the dope? Or is there studys about the correlation between the two? Well thanks for reading my rambling , Any opinions are greatly appreciated!


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 Post subject: Re: My Story
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:30 pm 
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boldylocks wrote:
She signed over full custody of our daughter to me. it is great being able to have her everyday. Alot of work, but i think its worth it.


Don't take this offensively..but son...it is WELL WORTH IT!!! There's NOTHING that is worth more than a child's love, and ESPECIALLY at such a young age. They NEED that bond more than ANYTHING else on earth! As you grow older, you'll understand, I promise you that!

boldylocks wrote:
My daughter is my whole world anymore. I guess i just wrote out this whole thing to get peoples opinions on my situation. i know her parents will just let her move back home when she is done. that will just be the same situation she was in , so i expect this situation to happen again since nothing will have changed. I believe that my ex may really be a sociopath. Im not sure what came first ? sociopathy or the dope? Or is there studys about the correlation between the two? Well thanks for reading my rambling , Any opinions are greatly appreciated!


I would NOT let her have any sort of custody or anything until she's proven that her priority lies where it should -- and that's with the little girl she gave birth to. We all make mistakes, and part of that is dealing with the mistakes that we made. For her, this is just a part of that. She should WANT to do everything in her power to regain her daughter's love and admiration.

I wish I had found out sooner what was important..but I'm still young enough to fix MOST of the problems I caused for myself.
But that's the KEY..I caused the problems for myself...NOBODY else did it TO me. So may times you hear people say things about what "someone did to them..." regarding their addiction...and that's such a statement of denial...nobody does ANYTHING to you..you do the damage to yourself. Anyone that can admit that is at the point they need to be at, and they know the repercussions are far-reaching. You're doing the right thing, just keep on the straight and narrow.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:15 pm 
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yes i do love the time i get to spend with my daughter. Im lucky i get laid off in the dead of winter so i have had everyday to spend with her during this hard time. I can tell she knows something is wrong , i try to just keep us busy. As for her mother , yeah i dont plan on even revisiting the custody issue until she has shown a track record outside of a program, of being responsible. All she did was take from all of us. pretty much took whatever she needed from anyone who cared about her, just to take care of herself. I am familiar with how drugs makes us soo selfish, i guess when i was bad i kept away from family. i was out on my own. I think that one of the big barometers will be if she starts to pay the back support when she gets back. I really dont need the money from her, nor do i care how much she can pay. I just know that if that's even something she is worried about that she is starting to change how she is thinking. I know for myself i never got better until i realized how i hurt others in my addiction and i starting not being soo damn selfish. So even if she only sends whatever she can , just make an effort to make things right , i think she has a punchers chance. But if she is only conforming due to consequences, we will be right back to where we started from.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:36 am 
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I just got home from the hospital with my newborn daughter..she's almost 3 weeks old (actually, today she is 3 weeks old, *tear*)...
So with that being the forth and final installment of children..I can say I know first-hand what a person is willing to neglect to get high..and in an about-face, I know first-hand how important my babies are to me NOW..that I'm clean!


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