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 Post subject: My story
PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 3:16 am 
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I will start with a little background and what let me up to getting on suboxone. This is my second time battling addiction to opiates. The first time was about 8 years ago when I first started doing hydros. I suffered from migraines that I couldnt get rid of with the help of anything that wasnt narcotic. I tried non narcotic meds but they never seemed to work so my dr started me out on tylenol 3. It didnt take me long at all to figure out that I liked yhe way that it made me feel when I took it. After awhile the tylenol 3 wasnt getting me high enough anymore so I told my doc it wasnt working. I would do this with every med that she put me on including tylox. I liked the tylox the best but it was harder to get ahold of. One day I displaced a rib and was prescribe lortab. I fell in love with it after the first dose and knew that I had to keep getting it, so I told her that it worked for my headaches too. Eventually it got to where I had to sign a narcotics waver with her because I was getting "headaches" everyday. I would get 42 pills with 2 refills and on the lable it said that it must last 7 days. It never did though so I would beg my girlfriend for some of her headache medicine to get me through because it at least had codeine in it. It got so bad that her dr, who was actually my dr as well, asked her if she had a problem with drugs. This upset her alot, but being the true addict I am I didnt care because I was getting what I wanted. I kept this up until I got a random ua at work. I didnt think anything about it because I had a script. The lab called as I expected and asked what I was taking. I told them lortab and here is the twist, they could tell that it wasnt lortab. He said no that cant be it. I quickly threw codeine out there and he said that could be it, do you have a script. Of course I told him yes although I really didnt. I managed to print out a script that was filled a year earlier and told them that I still had some of that script at home. I had to have my dr sign a paper saying that she was prescribing me narcotics. My saving grace was that the doctor never asked what I pissed hot for and signed it no questions asked. I did leave something out of that. I was dropped from the dr prescribing lortab months before all of this for getting nasty with the nurse on the phone because the dr was on vacation and I was out of hydros and no refills. I managed to get some hydros off of a dr just a week earlier and she was the one who signed off on my work paper. So all of this shit with work scared me straigh so I got clean by myself and stayed clean for 6 years. In the begining of the getting clean process I took enough tylenol pm to sedate a horse but it took away the edge. A little over a year ago my girlfriend moved out. We have been together for 11 years. She thought it would be best to "seperate and date." This was really hard on bY, REALLY hard, and still is because we are still together, just not under the same roof. Shortly after she moved out I started having lowet back pain so I found a new dr and went to see her. She said I pulled a muscle and gave me some muscle relaxers and hydros. The back pain was still there after time so I went back and got the same story and pills. This went on for months and of course the hydro never lasted me longer than a few days. There really was something wrong with my back though and I knew it was more than a muscle. Finally she did an mri and it did show a protruding disc. She kept prescribing me hydros for pain and eventually it got to the point where I had to sign a narcotics waver with her because I was a full blown addict again. The pills made me feel better and helped numb the pain of my girlfriend leaving. I eventually got dropped from that doc because I ran out early and went to the er and got more. I just kept going to urgent care and wherever I could to get more. One night I decided that I had enough of everything and attempted suicide. It landed me 3 days in the psych ward and that is where I met someone that told me that she sells hydros all of the time. So that is how I learned to buy off of the street. I also found doc number 3 who prescribes me hydros as well. Recently I ran out of hydros and my dealer was out so I went to the walk in clinic and told them the hydros werent working for pain and my regular doc said to go in if it hurt that bad. I wasnt expecting much of anything but actually walked out with a script of oxys. I managed to get my regular doc to write them after that. He wrote me a script for 90 which lasted 5 days. I manged to get 10 hydros off of my dealer to get me through another day. On day 7 I called my doc and asked.for more. I got 20 million questions of couse and was told that I was taking to many, but they wrote the script anyways. Two days after I got the script I knew that I would be out soon and that my doc probably wouldnt write more. I am flat ass broke so I couldnt buy more, not to mention I didnt have a current script for hydro and I was now on oxy. I started to do some heavy thinking about all of this behavior anyways. Here I was not paying bills which screwed up my credit, and buying drugs off the street which could land me in jail. I knew it was time for a change so I googled drug withdrawl remedies and up popped the suboxone website. I read into it and I was skeptical about if it really worked or not. It wad on my mind alot the next day and I decidex it was time so I called the doc here and found out she wasnt taking new pts. I kept up though and found a doc about an hour from here and called. I had an appointment set up for 5 days later. I spent the entire weekend taking oxy and was out by sumday night. On monday and tuesday I dosed myself with lunesta when I could and visteral when I had to be awake for work. I was still miserable. Wednesday morning finally roled around. I got to the doc and did the lab work first. It seemed like I was there forever before the doc actually came in to talk to me. The first thing she said was that she had serious reservations about giving me suboxone because of my previous suicide attempt. I almost lost it and broke out in tears when she said that. I managed to convence her though and she finally dosed me. I walked.out of that office a brand new person. I felt great! I have been on it since wednesday sept 14 and I have only thought about pills 2 times. The first time was last night because I wad feeling bad about the girlfriend situation. Normally I would take 6 7.5/5 hydros and numb myself. The other time was today. I think that was because I slept in really late and dosed myself 4 hours later than normal. I never told anyone except my bestfriend that I was going on suboxone. I told my girlfriend the nigh


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 Post subject: My story part 2
PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 4:06 am 
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Sorry that post cut short my phone acted up on me.......technology. Back to my story now. I told my girlfriend the night of my appointment. I expected her to be angry and walk out the door and never see me again. I did put her through hell by taking all of her pills and made her look like the addict. I debated back and forth in my head on what to do. It is bad enough being seperated but dating each other, but I didnt want to risk losing her for good. I worked up the nerve and told her and instead of angry I got understanding and compassion. She said that she suspected that the pills were a problem again considering I had a script for 90 oxycodone and was preeviously on hydro. She said that it was good that I was getting help and that she was proud of me. Then she gave me a hug that lasted forever and during that embrace I started crying. She asked why and I told her that I dont want to be this way. She said she understood and that nobody runs around a says when I grow up I want to be an addict. Unfortunatly thats what I am........an addict. I am hoping and praying that with the help of suboxone that I will at least be an addict in remission for the rest of my life. I know that I will never be able to lose the title of addict but that doesnt mean that I have to live like one. Its been four days since my introduction and I feel great. Thats my story.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 7:54 am 
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Hi Mj12,

Welcome to the forum!!

It's always great to hear about another opiate addict getting their lives straightened out by getting on Suboxone. Suboxone is a medication that enables us to get our heads screwed on straight by ending the cycle of active addiction. I would suggest you get in with a drug counselor too, counseling will help you deal with some of the issues that came up during your active addiction and the counseling will help you understand your addiction better, which should help you fight off any lingering cravings that your Suboxone is not taking care of.

Do you ming letting us know what dose you're on?? I'm just curious.

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 12:05 pm 
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Hi and welcome! I started Suboxone about 4 months ago, I take 16mg a day. I like everyone else here understand exactly where you are coming from. I had chronic pain for 3 years and would abuse my meds on and off but kept it under control for 2 years. I got pregnant with my twin daughters and besides a stay in the icu at 20 weeks did not take any narcotics thru my pregnancy. After my C-section that pain was even worse than before and I was put on oxycontin. Ihad them in Oct 2010 and had to wait until May 2011 to have a surgery to help some of my pain subside. It was the perfect storm, post partum depression, pain that would never stop, no sleep ever! I was a mess and that is when I got deeper into my addiction. By the end my Dr. was prescribing me 150mg of oxy a day but that still wasn't enough. I blew our savings and became a shell of who I used to be. Around March I had came to the conclusion I needed help but my excuse was how do I deal with the pain until May, what about pain control after surgery so I decided that as soon as my surgery was over I would stop. Like you I reaearched and learned about sub but decided I would just taper off the oxy. 2 weeks after my surgery I went to my Dr. and said I wanted to start to taper, he said it was too soon but I knew if I did'nt do this now I may never. Well it didn't work I was prescribed 150mg a day but a lot of days was taking twice that. I felt like such shit I couldn't stand it. So I went back and told him I had a problem and I was going on Suboxone, he said he thought it was a great idea and congratulated me for coming clean. Started Sub and have never looked back. It is the best decision I have ever made. I owe so much to this medicine and feel so fortunate I was able to see what I was doing so early in m addiction. I am my old self again and everyone keeps telling me it's so nice to have you back. I am telling you this story to let you know we have all been where you are and to let you know you made a great decision to take control back of your life. None of us want to be this way but we are and all we can do is keep one step ahead of our addiction and Suboxone makes that possible. Congratulations!


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 12:10 pm 
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I forgot the most important part. I really hope you will stick around the forum. I am only 4 months in and this place has been as crucial as sub to my recovery. There are so many knowledgeable, caring people here. This forum is full of information and the support it offers is priceless. I really encourage you to take advantage of this resource. Ask questions, blow off steam, whatever it may be I think you will get a lot out of it as I have. Again welcome!


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