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 Post subject: My Story
PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:47 pm 
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Hello!!
I'm new to this forum. Here's my story.
About 4 years ago I lost vision in one eye to a virus. The damage was permanent. It devistated my world. I started messing up stuff at work. Constantly making mistakes. I asked for help but was refused. To make a long story short, I was asked to pick a date for my last day to work and file for disability. In the 36 years I've worked I've never, ever been fired or layed off.... At this same time I was taking Lortab for a back injury and fibrom. I found myself using the Lortab as a way to make it through each day. The more I took, the more I wanted. I ended up checking myself into a Drug Rehab Center. And it was there that I was put on Subox. 8mg per day. I've been on Subox for 6 months now. The cravings are still with me every day..... I've had days where I would love to have a Lortab so I could feel good again. But, I know I can't. Right now I'm off Subox as I went over by 5 days. First time I've gone overt.
This has been a very bad month for me. A very, very dear friend of mine died 2 weeks ago. As I sat through his funeral all I could think about was "God, please give me the strength". I wanted a Lortab sooo bad, just to make it though his funeral. I've never lost a dear friend such as he was.... Death is new to me... If someone were to offer me a Lortab righ this very moment, I think I would take it..... I really hate this feeling..... It sucks....
I'm trying my very, very best. But it does not seem to be good enough...


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:40 pm 
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I am SO SO sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathies. That kind of loss and grief rocks our world and remission/recovery for all of us.

I'm not sure I understand why you're not taking sub right now. Did you over take them and ran out before your next refill? If so, when do you get your next refill? Have you always had cravings while on sub? What dose are you on? You might need to speak to your doctor about increasing your dose. The dose that one needs to address the cravings varies from person to person. If you find the right dose for you, you just might be so surprised at the difference in yourself.

It sounds like you've been through quite a bit in a short period of time. There have been a few bumps in the road but overall it sounds like you're doing well. You haven't relapsed and that's great. It's indicative of your determination!

If I've misunderstood you, please clarify and I'll try to revise my reply to you to help out better.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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 Post subject: My Story-Thank You
PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 3:07 pm 
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Thanks so much!!! No, you did not misunderstand my story at all. I'm out of Subox because I went over by 5 days. My refill is due on April 2nd.... This is the first time I've ever gone over on the Subox. So, I hesitate to tell my physician. I'm hoping it just because I've had to deal with so much this month.. The death of a friend is new to me. I've had a very difficult time dealing with it as he was like a brother to me... We went to the same school from 1st grade until high school graduation. He was actually 2 years above me. His younger brother and I were grammer school sweethearts.. So, the whole family is like family to me...

As for taking the Subox. It has not taken the cravings away. I crave for Lortab everyday. I take 8mg per day of Subox. It helps until I have a crisis...

Today the craving is very, very bad!!! I pray that I can make it until Saturday. I really wish I didn't have to take anything.... I dream of the day when I don't have to take the Subox. Today, I wonder if that day will ever come....... :(


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 4:31 pm 
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Yes, the day will come when you don't need anything but first things, first.

Tomorrow you get your refill right? So tell your doctor you still have cravings. He will adjust your dose and give you enough. Try not to take more than your doctor says because with Suboxone taking more will not get you high. You will just run out ahead of time.

I know this is a hard time for you, especially losing someone you love but be strong. Soon you will adjust to the Subs and feel normal. Give yourself and your body time to adjust to not taking Lortab every time something emotional happens.

Please keep writing to us so we know how things are going for you. You can do it. Don't worry. Things will get better.

Love, Queenie


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 5:19 pm 
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I would speak to your doctor at your next appointment and tell him/her that you are still having cravings. Hopefully they will raise your dosage. Perhaps even up to 12 mg will be enough to address your cravings. With your grief and everything right now, have you considered getting a therapist/counselor to help you in dealing with things without reaching for a pill? Not everyone needs therapy with sub treatment, but many do benefit from it (such as myself). In my opinion, it's worth considering.

Until your refill the day after tomorrow, try to stay busy and stay distracted. Before you know it the 2nd will be here.

Try not to think too much about when you need to be off it or how long you'll need to stay on it. Spend this time getting your mind and life healthy. Once that's done, then you'll be closer to being ready to come off suboxone, if that's your (and your doctor's) choice. But until then, one thing at a time. Hang in there.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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