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 Post subject: My Story
PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 4:12 pm 
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Hello whom every is reading my introduction. Here is a little background about how I became incorporated with Suboxone.

I was a functioning opiate addict for around 4 years. It all began with the beautiful yellow hydrocodone 10 mg/325 mg (Norcos).

Growing up in the Valley of Northern California, cocaine or methamphetamine used to be the drugs people I knew got "hooked on". Those were the drugs that you would often hear stories of lives being ruined, or crimes being committed in order to obtain them. In high school most people in my town partied. The town I grew up in is a notorious "party school town," which made it difficult not to begin early. Drinking alcohol was nothing short of normal for all high school students to take part in over the weekend. Marijuana practically grows in everyone's yards, or at least is smoked by at least one person in every household. I had tried Vicodin many times before in high school (getting wisdom teeth pulled) and liked them, yet never had the desire to proactively seek them out.

Then in college I tried my first Norco, and it was love at first pill. The feeling was so overwhelmingly great that I thought it was the best thing ever. Despite my extreme liking to the Norcos, I still did not have the resources to obtain them when I desired. So I went through most of college drinking copious amounts of alcohol, smoking pot, and having a great time. Yet during my final year of college, hydrocodone seemed to become more and more popular and available. People I grew up with and people I met at school and work not only enjoyed opiates as much as I did, but also knew where to "hook them up." In other words, they were becoming the drug of choice for many people I knew. It was a explosion in drug trend that I did not realize at the time. I began taking them more and more. A few on the weekends for hangovers (they were the best hangover relievers) or before social functions. Then I began buying them when I could, and that is when my outlook on opiates became different.

Initially they were decently cheap. I would buy the 10 mg Norcos for as low as $1 a piece. I still did not have a constant source, yet was able to buy them once every couple weeks. Then at my job as a cook I met a man who looking back had a large impact on how my life would forever change. This man was able to get hydrocodone 5 out of 7 days of the week! Gradually I began spending much of my money on the little bastards. They went from $1 a piece to $2. Then they were 2 for $5. This was basic modern economics as explained by Adam Smith....supply and demand. As they became more and more popular, addiction rose. Demand became so high (especially for me) that dealers and middle-men alike would raise prices knowing people would still buy. It was a truly amazing transformation of drug choice. Articles were written in our local paper regarding it. High shcool kids were being caught at school with pills. Many admitting they stole them from their parents' cabinets. Opiates became an absolute and utter epidemic...and this happened very fast!

For me personally, there was no denial. I knew how dangerously addictive they were, and that I was severely addicted. Yet I made no attempt to remedy my dependence and addiction. It was not until my girlfriend of 3 years dumped me and moved out when I realized my situation. I was a college graduate employed at a position I absolutely despised and was extremely over-qualified for. I lost a woman I loved. I was back living at my parents house (27 years old). I was paying $4 each for a pill that I would consume 20 per day ($100/day habit). Not only was I living paycheck to paycheck while residing for free at my parents, but my math put me at blowing around $10,000 per year on pills. This depressing realization only fueled me to consume more pills! That is when my friend introduced me to the "new methodone." An odd-shaped orange pill called Suboxone. He was my good friend from high school, and at the time my number one source for Norcos. He was calling it quits. I was withdrawing big time and could not obtain any pills, so he gave me a couple Suboxones to try and I will never forget the first one I took. I went from a familiar "feeling like dying" withdrawal to feeling like I was on top of the world! I took one whole tablet and it was almost too much for me in that I had to work as a financial adviser. I quickly took action to get on Suboxone, yet it was harder than I anticipated. There was a whole introduction period with counseling, and they are WAY too expensive. Before my insurance approved my prescription I paid around $400 for a bottle of 30 of them. Finally my insurance approved them, yet I had to take drug tests every 3 re-fills (I have smoked pot for almost 15 years). I was on Suboxone for a year and a half, and I was ready to go on with my life.

My doctor initially proclaimed that my treatment would be an 11-month program. At a year and a half I expressed my desire to taper off, and he disagreed. As stubborn as I am, I took matters into my own hands and tapered off on my own with the 8 mg tablets. People, this was a very bad idea! I went through absolutely horrible withdrawals for a solid 4 days. Flu-like symptoms and all. On the fifth day I finally starting feeling better. It has been over two weeks, and most of the w/d symptoms are gone. Yet I am having those cravings again for pills. They are on my mind constantly and probably will be for the entirety of my existence. That is the brutal reality I have faced and accepted. Opiates are a horribly helpful entity. They serve a purpose to those who need them, but they can destroy any human being who allows themselves to be physically dependent on them. I have and will forever have a love/hate relationship with them. Any pill bottle I see gets my mind thinking.

There is no doubt that I value what Suboxone did for me. I was on a path of self-destruction and they in combination with will power stopped it. I definitely recommend them to anyone who is severely addicted to opiates, yet my purpose at telling my story is that if you do make the decision to stop and try Suboxone, LISTEN TO YOUR DOCTOR! In order to prescribe this medication these doctors have to be certified so they know what they are doing. The harsh reality is that some people may have to be on them for much of their lives. Writing this helped me as I am on week 3 off of Suboxone. Thank you for your time if you read my post.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 5:22 pm 
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Hello chico and thanks for sharing your story with us. Sometimes it's not easy to do that, I know for me it wasn't (not right away anyway). I think it's terrific that you're doing so well. I could ask you at what dose you jumped from, but why focus on what's done and over? As they say, it's not getting "clean" that's hard, it's staying "clean". This is where the hard work begins. As you've already learned, without sub the cravings come crashing back. But it sounds like you're in a good place to deal with them. I wish you all the best in your continued recovery. I hope you stick around. Oh, and we have meetings here on Monday's at 9 pm (eastern) in the meeting room of the chat feature, if you'd like to join us. Tonight we'll be talking about triggers and cravings. Hope to see you there.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:15 pm 
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Hello Hatmaker, and thank you for reading. Like I mentioned in my post earlier, simply writing on this forum is therapeutic for my lingering thoughts of relapse. As far as the dosage I jumped from, unfortunately I had to use my buck knife to cut my 8 mg Subs into 8 pieces (which was extremely difficult!) to taper off. So I jumped off at 1 mg. Ideally, I would have preferred for my doc to prescribe me 2 mg Subs, which would have been undoubtedly easier. They would have been easier to break into smaller pieces, which would have made tapering less stressful, and my detox WAY less painful. It was interesting that after a year and a half my doctor did not agree with my desire to taper off. I never cheated, relapsed, although I did fail a drug test from smoking pot. Yet I admitted to him at the beginning that I smoked pot to help me sleep and he was okay with it. That is why I suspected he was in it for the money, but then quickly realized he truly did want to help me. I know drug is still fairly new and maybe over the last year and a half he has come to the realization that it takes longer than 11 months. Nevertheless, I am glad I am holding strong! Again thank you for reading and I will definitely check out the meeting room.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 10:13 am 
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Wow, chico, that's quite a story, and I just wanted to chime in and thank you for sharing that.


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