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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:18 pm 
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[align=center] My name is Curtis this is my story. It starts out 3 years ago. i was 15, and started selling pot so i could afford cigs/pot/and some alcohol here and their. i started partying every weekend. Never likd the party soon, too many cops, fights and drama. So i stoped and would occasionaly take hydros because of the energy boost i would get, nothing crazy, once in a wile, meantime i was attending barterfaires/rainbow festivals, taking alot of LSD, and MDA. Having a blast, smoking as much weed as i could well by next summer, my friend virgil came to me in the park and i bought 2 7.5s, then i hung out with him rolling around selling pot. He wwas always looking for more pills. I had good connects so i would get him pills.

Two weeks past or so. I relized i was taking these pills every other day and needed 2 tens to get that good buzz. Was told they were addicting, But not me!! I wont get ADDICTED. Two weeks later i told myself i'm done with these pills. Tried to stop and relized i was sick did not know why, Had fever/headache felt really achy. Called my friend virgil and he told me i needed more pills i was in withdrawl. So i took one ten and felt better knew right then i was in some Shit. I continued taking those for a few months, 3-4months later i was at 5, 10's a day. Then i found some green OC 15's. My friend told me you can smoke them.(i told myself id never do oc's or smoke pills). So we smoked some and first night ever i got really high i smoked/snorted 200mgs, and continued to buy those 15's and sell them to support my habit, making a lil money.

so i realized i had a problem and was alredy calling myself an ADDICT!, i decied to quit and took a bunch of acid, then ecstasy ended up, needing pills to comedown. Thats when i found my new best friend OXY 80. i snorted half of it. Was more high than ever. I continued smoking one 80 a day, witch at the time i barly selling enough for my friend to buy me one a day. I had started smoking coke off foil too. With all of my "friends". I had then met a OC connect of my own, at the time the best thing happend to me! he was fronting me 50 pills at a time, but i was not support to do them. i had to hide it from him my habit got really bad. i was doing 2-5 a day, smoking coke, weed ect. one day someone robbed me 5pills. luckly i had enough profit to pay him back. and he continued fronting for the next 5months off and on. I remeber waking up just wanting to kill myself i felt like shit, very bad withdrawl.

Eventually i was on my own. Full forced into selling pills, i got fucked over many time, robbed at gun point ect. jumped, beaten.(i am a little 110pounds) so i was an easy target for a fiend. at this point i had never went one day without a pill for almost a year. I remeber the new OP's, and 80's became a 90$, then 100$ now 150$ i herd. i started doing little blue roxys. 10 of them a day along with 2grams of homeade crack a day.(these were my darkest days, i was 17)

I got to the point were i thought i was ether going to get caught, or die. and every time i would get alot of money oi would get robbed, and usually it wasent my money, I knew i had to find treatment or something because i could barley get money for my owjn habit, yet paying people back, and feeling like shit every morning. I had herd of suboxone and bought it off the streets many times so i wouldn't b sick.

I broke down one day told my parents. they were somewhat pist, but i ressured them GATEWAY would be great for me(at the time i only wanted to go their not to feel like shit for subs) and they knew right then why they found foil in my room, and spoons with white powder. confirmed their suspicions haha.

I started at gateway, january 1st/11. The outpaint rehab center was pretty cool, because my therapy class's, sub doctor, and counclors were all in the same building. i started out with 4class's a week. in the beginning i was not taking it seriously i smoked crack for the first month, and kept getting UA's every week. So i quit smoking crack, so i would not get kicked out. But i thought pot was good, and i shouldn't have to quit it. it's naturall after all?? my counselor told me i was going to get kicked out if i did not stop because their no point to recovery if im high all the time. I finally relized i need to quit and i did. I started attending AA meetings like they suggested. After a week of not smoking pot i felt alot better!! everything they had told me, in therapy started making seance. "Thats why they you should not smoke pot in recovery is, it leads you back to other drugs", that was true for me.

Anyways to date, my lifes fucking great been on subs like 5months. i would have 2.5months clean time right now, but i relapsed 18days ago i tried coke again, and realized that's not what i want, i had to see those old friends again, that only hung out in till the dope was gone, or stole it and helped me look for it. Anyways i'm over that and i relized i should have been praying to god more, taking it day by day, and i got a sponsor, have been working the steps, currently on step 4, cleaning house. It feels awesome!! I love AA. don't like NA. everyone's very supportive even with suboxone they all know what it is, (well most do), and think it's good. i'm down to 8mgs a day, plan to be completely suboxone free in about 4months.

Thanks for reading my humbled mumbled story!:D some last things i would like point are; my strengths are:
-I have a great supportive network, that i can call anytime.
-working the steps with a sponsor.
-Making recovering fun, going to laser guns, rock climbing, movies, hiking, and also got back into school for my GED!
-Been being very honest, to myself, and try to be honest to anyone else.
-Have made completely new friends, some from AA, and others in my treatment center.
-I love life

I hope one day i will be suboxone free, and i hope my fears go away, and the obbesion in my mind has alredy been slowly going away, i hope it goes away! And i hope the best for anyone reading this!

Thanks,


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 7:00 pm 
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Spike, Thanks for sharing your story. That's great you got/get something out of therapy and A.A. Good job on the plans to go back and get your G.E.D. Your a young person and you sound very committed to your recovery, I am sure it is hard at your age, so I think you can be a good example to other young adults going through the same thing. Good luck.


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 Post subject: You Rock!!!
PostPosted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 5:24 pm 
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Spike! Hi there.

Wow you're story blew me away! For you to have to find youself in that rapid downwards spiral at such a young age. And the danger you found yourself in. Thank God you had the strength and mindset to get yourself that proper help and care in your recovery. You should be very very proud of yourself and gain more strength from knowing how far you have come and what you have achieved in these last few months, as you carry on striking out in your life. You sound like you have totally turned the situation you were in on it's head and appear to be very focused on making your life better. It's fab that you are finding rewards in different ways ie like the rock climbing and stuff.

I wish you all the best of luck in the world. Stay safe and continue with the brilliant work you are doing.

Take care and lots of love

x C x


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 3:06 am 
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Hey Spike,

Welcome to the forum!!

Wow, amazing story! What kept running through my head during the initial portion of your story is the old saying, "Drugs end up taking you farther than you wanted to go, they keep you there longer than you wanted to stay and they end up costing you more than you were willing pay."

As I got towards the end of your story I was like, "Holy Crap".....this young man has really turned his thinking around, he's turned his behaviors around and he's doing good in his recovery!! Young people, such as yourself, tend to have a harder time turning things around. Hell, I remember when I was 17......I was 100% stuck on stupid as far as drugs went.

Anyway, very interesting story. Thanks for sharing Spike.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 2:06 am 
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thank you guys for the support!!:). if you would of asked me 7months ago were i would be. I don't know if i could ever truly say, i would see myself here!! yes drugs cost to much for what their worth.

At first i did not quit smoking weed, when i got into treatment, and i kept relapsing week after week for the first 2months, then i quit smoking coke and pot. Honestly once i stoped smoking weed. I was able to Think clearly, focus, and it helped me realize that smoking weed was not helping me only making me relapsing and my old behavoiors whent away after i quit the pot to.

Just thought i would point that out, becuase someone may still be smoking pot, and not doing well. it's a big pointer i wanted to point out.

THANKS, curtis


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:27 pm 
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I never went to Rainbow Gatherings, but I have gone to tons of Phish shows and other bands like that. Keep up the good work, take some time to get to know the real you. You are young and have a full life ahead of you.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 9:45 am 
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"So i took one ten and felt better knew right then i was in some Shit."

i think this quote defines my experience when i realized i was addicted. even down to the 10mg tab. anyways. thanks for sharing!


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:13 pm 
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Man, that is an awesome story.... You've been to hell and back! And, somehow you made it back to the real world all in one piece physically.

The things you're doing to kick the bad habits sound like the right ones, no question. Congtrats to you and good luck finishing up in the coming months! I look forward to your success story.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 7:44 pm 
welcome and we are here to help!!


robin


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