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PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2016 8:11 pm 
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When it comes down to "My addiction story" its hard to think where to start, and I really cant speak for most addicts, but for me when im reading thru some storys on this forum its hard to stay focus on the storys that are more then a few paragraphs long, so I will do my best to keep it as short as possible.

Anyways If i were to decide where my addiction started I would have to say in middle school, when I had to get my teeth pulled by the dentist, just like most of everyone who got their wisdom teeth pulled, you got a perscription of vicodin along with it, and to be honest. the pain wasnt that bad where i need vicodin, of course I took more then a few, and took them at work or at school. but that was the beginning..,

maybe 2 years later as a freshmen in highschool I injured my leg in football, long story short with that one, of couse I talked my way into a vicodin perscription, and enjoyed those aswel. ever since i injured my leg in highschool i became addiced to pain pills...but I also had legit knee pain. bad knee pain too.

when it came down to it. everyone knew I had knee issues. but inside me I knew i had addiction too. it wasnt like i was trying to brain wash people into thinking i have knee issues to make my pill buys justified, but I was hosnt.

I dont know if I had a addiction that turned into a pain, or a pain that turned into an addict. either way it went, I had bother A real pain and a real addiction.

After losing so many jobs. getting into arguments with family and car accidents, and all the horrible things that came with addiction I personally decided to tell my mom ( who i never told before) that I have an addict and i need help somewhere..Before i told her this I was getting suboxone from a friend to keep me from doin heroin, together we searched for suboxone rehab, and found a great place called Michiana Bahavior of Health.I stayed there for 3 days and nights, while starting my suboxone treatment.

On the last day there, I was referred to The Dr that I am seeing monthly now. which is the best decision I have ever made, and a few month later I also made the worst decision ever aswel. After a few months on suboxone I made myself believe I didnt need to be on them anymore, so I gave up on the program...but like I said it was the worst decision I have ever made. durring the time i made that decison. I of course wasnt ready and relapsed in the worst way possible. and needless to say I ended up in jail for little over 7 weeks.
During that time in i realized that just detoxing physically from a drug wasnt even half the battle. it has to do with the mental state and what you do with you day and who you hang out with aswel. Luckily for me after I got out I was afraid that My Doctor was not going to let me back in the program. not only because I relapsed but because i relapsed and went to jail for over a month, which i missed two appointments. but my doctor is not like most. when I went to go talk to him about my situation he did not ask me why i relapsed or why i went to jail. he respectfully wrote me another script and told me he would see me next month... Now im trying everything i can do to stay on track so i dont dissapoint my dorctor again.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2016 12:52 pm 
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Welcome to our forum! And thank you for sharing your story!

Doctors are starting to recognize addiction for what it is. It's a chronic brain disorder characterized by relapse. When addiction professionals go to school, that's what they are taught. So we will be seeing a shift toward less punitive attitudes when addicts cannot maintain abstinence. Relapse is just part of the disease.

The brain research that is being done is fascinating. Not only do addicts have their brain's pleasure/reward circuits rewired to favor use of their drug of choice, but the portion of the brain that typically tells us to stop is inhibited. Plus, the areas of our brains that are involved in memory are heightened in a way that triggers us when we come upon sights, smells, sounds, and particularly a combination of these things. The brain of an addict is primed to relapse. That's why it is important that we have as many tools as possible, including buprenorphine to fight against it.

I knew exactly what I was doing when I was getting pain meds. My addiction didn't take me by surprise either.

Amy

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2016 6:13 pm 
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Hi Q, Welcome! Your post has really made me think about the first time I realized that I enjoyed pain meds! It had to be when I was in my early twenties and needed dental work. I enjoyed the vicodin or percocet so much but never went looking for it when my script was gone. It was not until I had gastric bypass surgery that my drug of choice switched from food to pills. At first, a quarter of a vicodin 750 did the trick. Made me feel like I had two glasses of wine. I never wanted to be out of control and not know what I was doing. Anyway, long story short, my habit grew and grew until I could not afford it. Around that time I learned about tramadol. It was easy to buy online and in the begining I could afford it. Then, in August of 2014, they changed the class of drug and it was now a schedule 5 drug. ( I think that's it) It was like vicodin or percocet and not as easy or as cheap! That is when I found a suboxone doctor. Sorry to have gone on and on! Anyway, welcome, keep posting, keep us informed about how you are doing!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2016 6:30 pm 
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That's funny Michelle. Not funny ha ha, but interesting how different we all are. I used tramadol to keep myself from going into withdrawal after I ran out of percocet for the month. Tramadol had no hold over me and I had plenty, but I would take a lot at a time to stave off withdrawal. It started to make my heartbeat feel irregular, so I couldn't depend on it anymore. The next month when I knew I couldn't take tramadol I told myself I had to make the oxycodone last, but I didn't. Then I called someone that I thought could get me oxy and he could. But thank God that he couldn't get it right away. I had time to think about my situation while withdrawing. That was the only time reason could sneak in. So I called my friend and told on myself and then cancelled my "order". I had told myself I would never buy on the street, so I was about to cross a huge boundary and I knew it. Part of the reason I haven't tried to taper off bupe is because I recognize that my bottom was not that low. I don't want to experience a more tragic bottom. My son deserves to have his mom be herself, not an alien druggie.

Amy

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 5:24 am 
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its ironic you called me Que, for obvious reasons thats my nick name everywhere and i didnt expect for a random person to catch onto it that quick with out me mentioning it, but like the last person who commented, I too used tramadol to try and keep away from WD's and even knowing they could cause seizurs when exceeding a large MG, i still abused them aswell, sadly, but suboxin dosnt get me high no matter the dosage, it keeps me from craving and a high so i feel like theres nothing im chasing ..as they say in NA, one is too many and 1000 is never enought. weirdly when i went back to my doctor, the only thing he asked me was how was my sleeping...that was it...seemed like that was the only question he needed to "get me back on" and then once i said i only sleep like 4 hours a day...he seemed happy and immediatly wrote me a script, and to know i havnt seen him for over two months i expected him to lower my dosage since its been a while since i had suboxone, he wrote it for the same 60 a month no questions...seemed a lil fishy but i didnt care, i was getting the help i needed and im getting free knee brace and knee injections and free dr visits and free prescriptions.. i cant complain


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 9:42 pm 
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Yes, Que, your doctor does seem a little less curious than usual! It is surprising that the doctor didn't talk about dose and how you felt! I'm glad your knee is being taken care of!

Amy

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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
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