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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:55 am 
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Joined: Sat Jun 14, 2014 10:03 am
Posts: 23
Location: Atlanta GA
My birth mom was a heavy coke user and my birthdad was a drug lord!
Needless to say, me and my siblings all have drug issues at some point in our life.

I was very anti drug in high school, i smoked pot hated it and thought drugs were dumb reasons to spend money.

Here I am an opiate addict because life was too hard to deal with being in an abusive relationship, having 2 kids and not being in control of my life...
even when i was on tramadol and got pregnant i was able to wean off in 1 month after being on it 2 years....
didnt touch anything til december 2011 when my baby daddy knocked me out. He didnt want me to have friends, family nothing outside of him and kids. i had the same friends most of my life. I was so lonely he was gone 14 hours of the day and even when he was home he was in front of the computer. controlling what i bought where i went what i did just too much. i got a small volunteer job and that became a problem. one night going to bingo....he gripped me up knocked me down as i was passed out he tried to revive me by dragging me all over the house and dumping water on me and suffocating me. my biff was there and she said i was out about 10 minutes when i woke up i started vomiting all over my headhurt and there was a grapefruit sized lump on my head...i had her take me to the emergency room. my poor kids were crying as i was leaving i felt helpless....the next morning foster care picked up my kids, my ex was arrested and i was told if i leave the hospital, that it would be against medical advice. thats when the perc use started...my wrist was fractured etc....and it wasnt hard to get a script from home and a refill after that. then i got into pain management, they gave me percs, then my friends would give me or sell me morphine,,,,,,this went on for about......a year....it was an awful year, dec 31 2012, i started suboxone...i tried pills after that but they didnt get me high so it was pointless...so now i feel like starting out at 24 mg, then jumping down to 16.....then to 14 12 10 8, i sometimes test to see if i can do 1/8th of sub....its rough but i am pretty sure if i didnt withdrawl, i would be done.....subs delay the inevitable...and i dont know what else to do. if i could afford rehab, id be there if i had support i have none, id go get help to get off comfortably...but i dont so im stuck on these shits til i can beat it myself or my insurance cuts me off.

good luck to everyone
Your Atlanta Friend.....
Monikah


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 10, 2014 8:50 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:35 am
Posts: 2801
Location: Southwest
Hi Monikah,

Yes, this is a very late response to your post, but I wanted you to know we all care about you and getting some help for your addiction.

Don't worry so much about being on Suboxone for a long time. Just take it and get on with life. If a couple of years later you want off, then taper and quit. I just think that right now you need to be stabilized and that won't happen unless you take the Suboxone and level out with a decent dose. 16 mg's is plenty for almost everyone. Then if you want, taper down to 8 and stay there for a year or so. Just don't be so focused on getting off everything. Suboxone treatment doesn't work that way. Go slow and easy until your life is back and somewhat normal. And just make sure your ex doesn't know where you live. He should be behind bars for hurting you so bad. No man should ever hit a woman. We are supposed to provide and protect you, not hurt you.

Post back will ya? We all want to know how you're doing.

rule

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