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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:33 am 
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Raiders don't "Suck". They are just owned by a mad man that keeps them from success. That being Al of course.

I hear ya man. On that note have you done any research on dopamine levels in our brain and how using or being on a med like subox slows down or stops the process of our brain making dopamine? I'm guessing that's one of the reasons why we feel so "blue" all the time. Just a thought.

Anyway, good to hear you are doing well. Keep it up and keep us posted.


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 Post subject: Desire
PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:21 pm 
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First of all, thank you for letting your doctor know what you've been through. If we all do this, maybe one day we won't have to hear stupid things like, "If you wean down to 2 mg, you can jump with minimal discomfort." :lol:

I'm so happy for you that you made it through the worst part. I'm also interested to see how you progress, since you did jump from a 'relatively' low dose. I'm thinking maybe your PAWS won't be so bad. Just a thought, or a hope.

You do not give yourself enough credit for how tough you are. Even though people do jump from high doses, jumping from .5 is still really hard. The fact that it's hard is backed by medical/scientific reasons. It's still 500 micrograms. You accomplished a big thing by jumping from that dose. Not only did you jump, but you've hung in there. Personally, I am going to wean much lower than .5 because I KNOW .5 is rough. It seems like lots of people say it may be easier for other people because other people are probably tougher, etc. etc. I think if you do what you just did, then you've just proven that you are tough and you can accomplish much when you want something. So, knowing that, you can now apply it to whatever else you want in life and maybe you'll surprise yourself at what you can accomplish!

Here's to 2011 being Sub-Less!

laddertipper

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 4:50 pm 
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jleets said "dopamine levels in our brain and how using or being on a med like subox slows down or stops the process of our brain making dopamine? I'm guessing that's one of the reasons why we feel so "blue" all the time. Just a thought. "

As I understand it, what jleets said is true, BUT the dopamine levels do return to normal! They are not broken or permanently damaged. Believe me, I thought I burned mine out, but my dopamine levels have to be pretty darn close to normal by now. I feel good, I laugh a lot, etc.

It does take time though....darn recovery is so freaking slow.

BTW, I agree with Desire....Raiders Suck...BOOOOO....Go Titans!! Yeah, I know...the Titans suck too, but their my team. :cry:


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 4:59 pm 
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Just real quickly: Romeo is right. Recently Dr. J talked about how once the opiates are removed, the brain and it's neurotransmitters return to normal.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 7:53 pm 
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@ Romeo and Hatmaker:

That is great to know. I can't tell you how I dread that time where you are so damnnn depressed. I wonder if there are any supplements or medicines that can increased dopamine levels in the brain so while you are in withdrawl it can improve your mental state. I know I have heard in various posts how people use klonipin, xanax, milk of manesia, etc etc etc. Just wondering if anything, not prescription strength, would work.

Titans? LOL! With all that talent you did what again Romeo? C'mon. :lol:


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 8:03 pm 
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If you're not on an antidepressant or SSRI, you could try the supplement St. John's Wart. It's just an herbal sort of antidepressant. (But it affects serotonin, so don't take it if you're already taking another serotonin medication).

If you are having fatigue, you could also try L-Carnitine. I take it for chronic fatigue and it helps a LOT!

Good luck and hang in there!

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 04, 2011 9:46 pm 
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Truth be told, I'm originally a Raiders fan....going way back to the Jim Plunkett days here. Lyle Alzado, Marcus Allen, Howie Long. I just live fairly close to Nashville, so I get the Titans as a default. :cry:

The Raiders are my favorite, but they're crap this year! Double :cry:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 05, 2011 6:30 pm 
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Patriots!!!!!!! Life long New Englander here..

Aside from football, I'm doing pretty well. Another night free of restlessness! Not sad what-so-ever. Feeling pretty darn good!!!!!


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2011 7:49 pm 
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Desire2GetClean wrote:
Patriots!!!!!!! Life long New Englander here..

Aside from football, I'm doing pretty well. Another night free of restlessness! Not sad what-so-ever. Feeling pretty darn good!!!!!



The Patriots. Excellent Coaching. Incredibly good at adding talent via draft and free agency. Ownership is solid.

The Raiders. Coaching change every 2 years. Bad at drafting and free agency pickups 75% of the time. Owner is nuts.

My football life is a very sad place right now.

Glad to hear you are doing good. I look forward to the day when I can say that I have been sub free as long as you have. Actually tapering quicker than planned. Was on 3-4MG for about a month. Dropping to 2MG over the weekend. We shall see. Keep it up D2GC.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 07, 2011 6:58 pm 
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I went from about .25 mg to nothing 6 nights ago. Eveything is good except for I am sleeping only about 4 hours and same issues with my legs. I can handle those symptoms compared to the other ones i have had had before. I did go down very slow from 4 mg to none in 8 months so my body was very low.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 6:33 am 
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Just a quick update. I'm doing very well. Still taking the trazadone for sleep but my leg symptoms are pretty much gone. Restlessness is soooo minor I can't even call it an issue anymore. I have been gaining energy every day and feeling more productive. I finally did some much needed to-do's around the house and while doing it I thought to myself "I'm back...this feels great!"


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:33 am 
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Desire,

You're around day 23 or 24, right? That's great progress you've made!!

It feels good to feel good again doesn't it!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 10, 2011 12:12 pm 
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So happy to hear that you're already over the big hurdle and getting so much better. PHHHHEEEEWWWWWW!!! Right? And the fact that your energy is returning and everything....yippie!!!

Thanks for updating. It actually helps me keep going to read stuff like this.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:45 pm 
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I'm at 24 days I think (maybe 25 at end of day). I stopped counting. I'm just glad to feel good. It feels like forever ago but really it's only been a short time. I just can't even tell you how great it feels to leave the house and not have to worry about having sub with me ore thinking about taking my dose when I start the non-stop yawning.

I haven't had any cravings/desire to take sub or anything else. I honestly thought I was never going to make it this far. I seriously surprised myself and I've found new found strength that I can do more. My head feels clearer. I'm able to focus more than I have been able to in a long time. I don't feel so .....dumb (I guess is one way to put it).

Things are good. I'm really really really proud of myself. lol


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 10:10 am 
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I'm really really really proud of you too! I know what a battle it can be to quit, but you did it.

Remember the addiction never goes away, you have to stay vigilant.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 10:33 pm 
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I had to register just to let you know that I don't know you, but I am proud of you too.

You saying "If you try and fail, so what?" really resonated with me. I have a lot of confidence, and honestly get my confidence rattled when I read Dr J. say the relapse rate is 100%. I have done a lot of planning for the last 5 months that I have been on Subutex, and am fully aware of what my body will feel during the WD process.

However, I will not be withdrawing from illicit or abused drugs. I will be withdrawing from medication that genuinely helped me get my life together. It's another step towards a great life and sobriety.

I am on 8 mg's a day and just got prescribed 52 8 mg pills to last me for the month. I am going to taper and eventually jump for the next month. Wish me luck!


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 7:31 am 
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Good luck to you! You can do it!!!!!

I haven't posted recently but I will say that I feel soooooooooooo much better. I am still out of shape and have yet to excersise but a baby and work will do that to ya..and so will excuses. lol

I noticed that a part of me that I haven't seen in years has been coming back. Well, actually a few parts. The biggest one is my goofy mentality. Most people probably think I'm crazy but if they no me I use to be a funny person and loved to make people laugh. I've been doing that more in the past 2 weeks than I have in years. The other is my memory of things long ago. I swear I could never remember anything from my childhood and things are coming back to me. The last thing is my learning ability. I don't feel so "duh" all the time. I feel like my head is clear. My mind had been surpressed for so long that I had a hard time keeping up with things but I feel the ability returning to understand and keep up. Feels great!!!!!!

I just can't not even begin to explain how happy I am that I am free. I always know and will never forget it will be a life long battle but it's something that no longer rules my life, my daily activity and overall mindset. I know it won't always be peaches and cream but I feel I am so much stronger and wiser that I can fight through the hard times. I certainly learned not to go through it alone. In times of weakness, I must lean on my wife and the people that are aware of what i've been through.

Thanks again for all your support through this. I made the world of difference!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:25 pm 
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Hey Desire :)

Man..your story was a great read. You are probably 3-4 weeks ahead of me in terms of your recovery. I am so proud of you and your story. I give a lot of credit to some of the older individuals that have to provide for a growing family, someone who has tons of responsibilities, someone that can't take time off work to go through a journey like this. Too me, this is more inspirational than ever. I'm only 21 and yeah I have responsibilities but not someone who has a family. Ya know? I don't know i just think it's quite amazing in my eyes. Good for you buddy, good for you! I can tell by the end of Month 1 how much better I started to feel. I'm sure the next couple weeks will start to increase in positivity and mood.

Well good luck to ya, I hope the remainder of your future brings as many good things into your life as you deserve. Too the end!

-Jboss


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 6:43 am 
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Hi everyone. I'm bringing this post back from the dead just to check in. It's been a long time and wanted everyone to know that recovery is possible.and that things to get much better after stopping sub. I haven't touched sub or any other drug since I stopped sub. The first couple weeks and months were rough but I fought through it. Little by little I got better. I think I went through a few episodes of PAWS which always seemed to be so random but I think I'm past that.
I ended up injuring my back again really bad. I was out of work for 2 weeks but was in really rough shape for almost a month. There were times when I couldn't take it anytime and wanted to turn to opiates but I kept strong and said this is my own fault, I have to deal with it so I found other ways to handle the pain and weakness. I also had nerve damage (foot drop)....
I realized it was time to make another change in my life. Once I was strong enough I started going to the gym. I was always to self conscious to join a gym neo it was just another battle. I finally did it and have been going strong for 2 months, getting stronger every day...and watching my body transform is a great feeling. In better share that I have been in for almost 10 years, maybe more. so Here I am, 9 months clean, my daughter turning a year old next month. I am living proof that fighting through the worst of it is hard but possible. Things do get better, and keep getting better. It will always be a life long battle. No matter what, YOU CAN DO IT!!


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 11:07 am 
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Desire2GetClean wrote:
Hi everyone. I'm bringing this post back from the dead just to check in. It's been a long time and wanted everyone to know that recovery is possible.and that things to get much better after stopping sub. I haven't touched sub or any other drug since I stopped sub. The first couple weeks and months were rough but I fought through it. Little by little I got better. I think I went through a few episodes of PAWS which always seemed to be so random but I think I'm past that.
I ended up injuring my back again really bad. I was out of work for 2 weeks but was in really rough shape for almost a month. There were times when I couldn't take it anytime and wanted to turn to opiates but I kept strong and said this is my own fault, I have to deal with it so I found other ways to handle the pain and weakness. I also had nerve damage (foot drop)....
I realized it was time to make another change in my life. Once I was strong enough I started going to the gym. I was always to self conscious to join a gym neo it was just another battle. I finally did it and have been going strong for 2 months, getting stronger every day...and watching my body transform is a great feeling. In better share that I have been in for almost 10 years, maybe more. so Here I am, 9 months clean, my daughter turning a year old next month. I am living proof that fighting through the worst of it is hard but possible. Things do get better, and keep getting better. It will always be a life long battle. No matter what, YOU CAN DO IT!!


Wow, you are amazing! Thanks so much for sharing your success story. I always kinda hold my breath when reading these updates, but then I got to the "I haven't touched sub or any other drug..." part and I'm going "YAY!!!!!" You're an example for everyone on here. I went back and read through your post about how your jump went, and I really congratulate you for sticking with it, through the acute and then the PAWS episodes. On top of that, you've altered your lifestyle to manage your pain and avoid opiates. You GET it!!! I hope you are pretty amazed and proud of yourself. Did you have any idea you could be so dang responsible and dedicated to fighting addiction and winning? Did you even know you had this resolve in you? :D

I'm a fan,
laddertipper

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