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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 5:02 pm 
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Location: Seattle
I'm glad you are getting assistance because I know for me what you were doing before would not have been possible. I love that you taking everything in stride and doing what you have to do. I'll be following your progress and hope everything works out for you!

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2014 1:24 am 
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Hello guys just to give you a update. I am doing ok. My mental depression is really kicking in. Especially with my 3 year old. Like i am not good enough, or she knows something is wrong, or i am short tempered for no reason. This is the most heartbreaking thing i have had to experience thus far. I am currently using 2-4 Gabapentine 100mg in the morning a long with 1mg to 2 1/2mg Ativan and a OneSource multivitamin. To make it throughout the day i try to keep as active as possible. Take Adderall if needed or some other source of energy to give me the ability to move around. I take advantage of hot baths as much as possible and eat/drink ALL healthy foods and drinks! Keeping the bad stuff out while trying to get the BAD stuff out! :)

At night time i try to take a SUPER long bath! Then take two more Ativan.

Any help with the depression would be great! Also how much longer till i am over the hump of absolutely worse W/D's to downhill?

Thanks!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2014 7:04 am 
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csgo1337 wrote:
Hello guys just to give you a update. I am doing ok. My mental depression is really kicking in. Especially with my 3 year old. Like i am not good enough, or she knows something is wrong, or i am short tempered for no reason. This is the most heartbreaking thing i have had to experience thus far. I am currently using 2-4 Gabapentine 100mg in the morning a long with 1mg to 2 1/2mg Ativan and a OneSource multivitamin. To make it throughout the day i try to keep as active as possible. Take Adderall if needed or some other source of energy to give me the ability to move around. I take advantage of hot baths as much as possible and eat/drink ALL healthy foods and drinks! Keeping the bad stuff out while trying to get the BAD stuff out! :)

At night time i try to take a SUPER long bath! Then take two more Ativan.

Any help with the depression would be great! Also how much longer till i am over the hump of absolutely worse W/D's to downhill?

Thanks!


Nice to hear from you csgo! I went back to see when you jumped so I could "try" and answer you question, and it looks like July 4, right? So you are on day 19? Now, you jumped from an incredibly high dose, especially compared to mine (.375mg after a long taper) so I am probably not the best person to give you advice, but it does seem to me that "everyone" no matter what dose they jumped from has a real turn for the better right around the day 20-25 range. For me after day 2 I started improving, but again I was lucky I had the opportunity to taper slowly. But even though I could tell I was getting better, didn't really start feeling "good" until around days 20-23.

So, my advice is don't lose hope! You are very near getting over the hump! Even if it does not happen for you by day 25, your body is surely healing and adjusting and you WILL eventually get better!

As far as the depression , I am also a parent and can feel your pain. The good news is your child is so young, the vast majority if not ALL of her memories will be of you will be as a SOBER daddy. Good job!!
For me depression was/is a major concern. I don't know anything about the other meds you are taking. Could depression be a side effect of any? Feeling overly emotional is definitely a normal part of the process and your moods should even out soon.
Here are some things that are helping me keep my mood up that might also help you:
1. Uplifting music- I practically live with my headphones in
2. Keep out in "the light" as much as possible- get some sun and appreciate nature each day, don't stay in a dark room by yourself- try to stay around "happy" people and those who love you.
3. EXERCISE! This can be super hard when you feel like shit, but always made me feel at least a little bit better. When my energy was or is low, I bike instead of run or something else more vigorous. This will help with #2 as well.
4. Pray
5. Meditate

Peace,
BF

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"BE the change that you wish to see in the world"

Mahatma Gandhi


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2014 9:23 am 
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Hi CSGO, Gotta start work in like 25 second, so i'll have to keep this short.

I experienced a lot of negative emotions during the end of my taper and during my early jump. Depression is actually a lack of feeling, and generally is covering something else, like anger or grief. I found meditation to be incredibly helpful to find out what was really going on 'under the hood,' and meditating would helped me get emotionally <Canadian Spelling> centred </Canadian Spelling>.

I had to do it a lot throughout the day, whenever I could, because the negative emotions got pretty overwhelming at times. I was a totally low-bottom addict on opiates for one-third of my life, so I've been carrying around a lot of crap.

I'm 27 days off Subs, and still dealing with sh*t, though I'm generally pretty happy and content. Really, really glad I got off Subs; it was necessary to do this for me to start moving forward in life again.

PM me if you want some suggestions on meditation techniques.

Hang in there!

-- ji

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 23, 2014 3:55 pm 
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I myself just jumped from 3MG 17 days ago and still feel occasional depression, muscle aches all day every day, have anxiety, and am constantly cold/sweaty. Appetite has not returned much, although it has improved greatly. For the first 10 +/- days or so of my detox I basically lived off of slurpees lol.

I too, am taking 300MG of Neurontin 3x daily for muscle aches, 1MG Ativan several times daily as needed, and am still using clonidine for the chills/sweats. IMO, the Neurontin is probably the best pill I'm taking because it at least takes the pain away and lets me get a good night's rest. My doc gave me Ambien to use in case of emergency, but I absolutely hate the feeling I have when I wake up the next day. Feels like I'm in the movie Inception and I'm waiting for the music to start playing to wake me up lol. So, I've stopped using it.

I will tell you though, that although my above symptoms may make it seem like I'm still going through "hell", I don't feel like I am. Most likely because my symptoms are controlled with all of those meds, but each day I can feel myself getting better and better. Even my boyfriend has told me that he sees a lot of improvement in my mood and overall energy over the past few days.

During the first 10-14 days, I would feel so hopeless that I would cry several times a day, I was not able to even move from the couch because my muscles ached so badly and I wasn't able to eat anything at all.

I took 2 weeks off of work and had my Sub doc write me a "disability" note for work for that time. After returning to work this week, I can still feel the lingering lethargy and lack of motivation to do anything except listen to music and read this forum.

I was initially told that my withdrawal would last 4-7 days tops, and here I am on day 17 still going through withdrawals. It's a lengthy process but each day does look slightly brighter than the last. I still have my occasional moments when everything feels hopeless and I feel like I can't take any more of the torture, but I'll usually try to get my mind off of it by listening to my favorite songs on full blast as often as I can, and taking bike rides which help with my muscle aches and clearing my mind. Believe me, it's not easy convincing myself to get on that bike, but it definitely does help. One other thing that helps me is being around people and talking and laughing and having a good time. It takes your mind off of the symptoms you feel.

I definitely feel like I am almost over the hump, or even past the hump, slowly recovering towards normalcy. Reading this forum and everyone else's experiences made all the difference in the world to me and it kept me going each day, knowing I wasn't alone. No one in my life currently understands what opioid withdrawals feel like, so this forum is almost like an NA meeting for me :-)

I hope you begin to feel better soon, and I'm going to tell you what everyone has been telling me (which has annoyed the crap out of me but is completely true)... You're almost there so hang in there!


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