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PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 11:59 am 
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Hello ladies and gents. Long time lurker that decided to join and get the help, support, and opinions of the wonderful members. This forum seems to have amazing participation by those that truly care about each other. I've done lots of reading, but haven't seen my particular situation discussed. A bit of info to give some background first.

I would definitely say I'm a hard-core, use everything addict of many, many years. I was a very clever functioning addict too. I kept it all secret from everyone except a select few. I played the old relapse game again and again and again. Went on methadone, but soon discovered I didin't want that lifestyle any longer. Made the successful switch to suboxone after several tries.

I remained on bupe over 4 years doing very well the entire time. I tapered from a daily dose of 24 mg down to .25 mg and made the jump. So why did I decide to stop taking it? Duh? I felt my life had changed (for the better), and I no longer required any kind of drug to deal with all the issues and pressures life can place upon us. I've been completely off the suboxone almost one year now. But I don't feel quite as good OFF the bupe as I believe I did ON it. I feel some depression, have some cravings, and always wonder how it might feel to use again and experience that high we all know? A true addict that's for sure.

That brings me to my question, and what I'm considering. I'm actually thinking of getting right back on a maintenance dose of the suboxone. I'm tossing around the idea of giving up all the hard work I put in tapering, and the nearly one year off and getting back on. Has anyone ever done that here? After an extended period of time off? Would I be foolish to do that? Crazy to "waste" that year off? I realize it has to be MY decision, but just very curious what everyone had to say about it? Thoughts?

Thanks for any responses.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 12:12 pm 
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Don't Do it!! Do something else to make you feel better. This is just another of the hurdles that you will go through in life. Even If you have to take up smoking weed or something. Just don't start anything that you will need again. It's a trap. Don't fall for it. You will only feel better for a few days.

Instead, come on here and share your success story with the people that haven't made it as far as you. It will make you feel better that you are helping people like me.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 5:34 pm 
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If you think relapse is a possibility, I would start up a maintenance dose. If you say you're hardcore, you sound like one of the sad stories of being sober for so long, and relapse with a fatal dose, ya know?

But if you think you'll be able to avoid relapse, try other things. Do you exercise? Do you work a job you like? Exercise and going back to school helped me focus on my sobriety, by actually making me not even think about it. Make sense?

I also began treating my ADHD and that medication has helped me tremendously. I realized so much of my self medicating had to do with constantly feeling overwhelmed and stressed and unable to cope because my emotional regulation was all over the place. Treating the ADHD has calmed me down and I don't feel nearly as stressed out!

Cravings, I think, are always going to be there. But are they overpowering? I get cravings. But they're fleeting and I can easily talk myself out of them.

Of course I sometimes think about how "good" it would feel to feel that warm, cozy high. But then I remember all that comes with it. I lied to everyone. Stole. Was guilt ridden, disgusted with myself. It's easy for me to say "fuck that shit!".

Plus, I thrive when I feel challenged. The idea of taking even one little pill would make me feel like a failure. And I'm just too stubborn for that. I triple dog dared myself to not relapse and so far, it's working.

But there's no shame in maintenance. I am all for harm reduction options when absolute sobriety is too challenging. You'd rather be alive and on suboxone than dead and clean.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 30, 2014 11:42 pm 
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rizob wrote:
Don't Do it!! Do something else to make you feel better. This is just another of the hurdles that you will go through in life. Even If you have to take up smoking weed or something. Just don't start anything that you will need again. It's a trap. Don't fall for it. You will only feel better for a few days.

Instead, come on here and share your success story with the people that haven't made it as far as you. It will make you feel better that you are helping people like me.

Finally a like minded person who has the same opinion as me, people might not agree but I can't even count how many times weed has probably saved my ass from giving into a temptation to relapse on opiates.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:14 pm 
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Wow, thanks for the great responses and different views of the situation. I will certainly entertain all thoughts and suggestions before making any decisions.

I hear you guys (rizob - Buprecision) on the pot smoking to hopefully help matters, but in all honesty it's just never been my thing. I would always be more than willing to try any drug offered, but generally refuse the pot. It never agreed with me and I just left it alone. But I really do appreciate the input, and I'm positive it would be helpful to many.

Uwillbloved - you asked about me getting exercise, or had a job I like? The answer is a definite yes to both questions. I am a recently retired athlete that uses exercise and staying in shape as a way of life. And my job was the very best ever! I've continued my workouts to hopefully give me many more years of a happy, healthy, content life.

Your comments make perfect sense to me also. Well said. I am very lucky to experience no health problems, so I take no prescription meds. But I just don't feel as good as what I honestly believed I would after so much time off the suboxone. I felt so much better on it which keeps pushing me in the direction of maybe getting back on the maintenance dose. But I also really despise giving up the year I have attained. Tough decision that is going to require more thought on the matter.

I would really appreciate any additional comments. Thank again guys.


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2014 7:30 pm 
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Do you know why you use?

Like, ya know, like I said. I realized I was self medicating because of my inability to cope with life's stresses (running a household, taking care of two small children, even grocery shopping!)

Some people use to avoid feeling, because whatever is in them hurts too bad.

Others use because they simply find life boring without those ups and downs, those highs and lows. I realized when I stopped suboxone that the whole even keel feeling felt monotonous. I missed "the rush".
I got back on my dirtbike (after a few years hiatus) and I started feeling those "rush" feelings again. The adrenaline, ya know? I don't get to ride as much as I'd like to, but it helps when I do, for sure.

You say you were kind of a use any and everything addict. Do you know why you do it? I mean, that's kind of a loaded question, I know. But are there past traumas you're trying to move away from? Have you ever attended therapy? My addiction counselor did help me, somewhat.

Maybe take up skydiving? I don't know...now I'm just rambling. But I'm here to chat if you need to. Good luck!!

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:37 am 
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Do I know why I use? Certainly I do. I was swallowing handfuls of pills to deal with nagging minor injuries, along with the usual aches and pains. Nothing serious thankfully. Seemed like everyone was doing it. Didn't take long before it became a way of life. It also made me feel invincible and able to do more than I really could in the sports world. I know it just seemed that way. Better performance = more money.

My life definitely wasn't boring. I had all the excitement I could handle....and then some. Every city, every town produced it's own wonders. I never really had too much stress to worry about. Every day was about the same, and the only true stress I had was hiding my secret life from everyone which I did masterfully.

I understand your point completely. No past traumas, and yes I was in therapy for some time and it did help. I would recommend it for most. I benefitted from it very much.

Skydiving? Perhaps on the next go-around. Lol. But for now two feet firmly planted on the ground. Lol.

You said something in the other post that really got my attention. About being sober for so long and a fatal dose hitting me. I know if I ever did relapse I probably wouldn't just take a couple pills and see how it felt. Stupid me would most likely swallow a handful of whatever and end of story. That is a part of what drives me to consider bupe again. I absolutely DO NOT want to be one of those addicts that put together some serious time, possibly years and years of clean time and back to day one again. I can't go through that again. No way.

Thanks again. Very enlightening and definitely appreciated.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:28 pm 
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Ah, yes. I can totally relate to feeling invincible and like I could do everything better. In the beginning, it was amazing. I felt like a better mom, I could simultaneously clean the house and engage with my children. My social awkwardness turned into confidence. I could actually stand around with people, crack jokes, be charming. Seemed like a miracle pill to me. Until it wasn't. Until I only took them to not feel sick, until I realized on the days I didn't have any I was a super shitty mom, who snapped at her kids and didn't have enough energy to leave the house. Those pills are a fucking mind fuck. For sure.

I was a master at hiding it, too. And it caused a lot of stress. To the outside world, I was a young, healthy mother of two - with a white pickett fence even! My husband, my parents, my sister, all those who were close to me had no idea.

Well, please don't OD. Maybe bupe is a good idea. But only you know that for sure.

PS. Every time I see your screen name I sing that rap song "wanna be a baller, shot caller, 20 inch blades on the impala" ....

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 5:52 pm 
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Hahaha - Great, now I keep singing that rap over and over. Can't get it out of my head! Lol. I had to immediately watch the video. Too funny!

I'll have to say that getting thoughts out and down here to look back upon really helps. And that's exactly what I was searching for - different views and perspectives that make me think of all possibilities and hopefully come up with an informed decision that's best for ME. I have no one here to speak with about the subject. A few very close friends that have never used or abused drugs. They do their best to help, but I haven't met a non-addict yet that really and truly knows the drill. Unless you've been down that dark road it's pure speculation for the most part. But their words are comforting and I do appreciate their time.

For the first few months of being off the suboxone I was riding such a natural high. After struggling for so long I knew I might never really defeat the monster, but at least I had reclaimed my life, or thought I had, and was headed in the right direction. I go in for routine blood tests, dental work, etc and tell the doctors, nurses, and caretakers I am on absolutely no medications or drugs. That is the most wonderful feeling and made it all so worthwhile. I look at friends and family members still addicted and thank my lucky stars I'm where I am right now.

I guess it was around my 7-8 month or so off the subs that got me to seriously thinking and wondering if I had made the best decision? I don't mean to come across like I'm not happy, struggling hard, or feeling sad each day because that's not the case. I feel good, I'm very happy doing what I want each day. I'm on the go all the time enjoying the freedom. But I keep tossing it over and over in my head.

I mentioned reading here for quite some time, and another good point, and eye-opener was in a post I read by Dr. Junig where he himself had relapsed after 7 years. I know a couple people that have also done the same after many years clean and thought it would never happen to them again. One guy had 18 years. Tough deal that's for sure.

I know it probably sounds like I'm talking myself into getting back on, but as I said, I really hate giving up the one year's work. And in my mind, and if I'm betting on it, I would give odds I would never use again. BUT this disease has other ideas just when your guard is down for a split second, and I know that.

I guess it's either stay off and always be weary and wondering if and when it would happen, or back on bupe and take the safe route. Things could change down the road and bupe not be available, or dispensed in a manner similar to methadone. Have to consider everything. Arggg!

May I ask how long you've been off the suboxone and how you are feeling - better than on the subs - not as good - or about the same? I'm just curious.

Sorry for the ramble and thanks for listening!


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 7:30 pm 
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I've only been off for 5 months (so I hope I'm not still riding the sober high!) - but I was also on it for 4 months. I can definitely say that I feel better off of it. The main reason for that is waking up in the morning feeling achy and like I needed a pill. Obviously, when I was on oxy, I always woke up feeling sick and took a pill before I even got out of bed. And with the suboxone, it's not like I felt SICK - but just not right, like my body was craving something. That's a reason why I love not being dependent on an opiate.

So, since you're not fearing imminent relapse potential and are more just concerned with relapse sometime in the distant future, are you talking about a lifetime maintenance dose? Because it seems like getting back on bupe for any length of time, with the intention of getting off again at some point, the whole potential relapse is still there. Does that make sense? I don't feel like it does, but oh well, I tried =)

I believe that you if you can avoid medication, that's probably the best route. Just because all medication has potential side effects and/or lasting effects that we don't even know about. BUT, and that's a BIG but (ya like that?), a maintenance dose is better than an overdose. But I already said that.

You sound like you're doing ok. If I were you, I'd try to ride it out a bit longer. Keep me posted though!

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:09 pm 
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One year is probably a bad anniversary because that's the one where you think you got it beat. Then you realize you don't. So it makes you want to say screw it! This is never going to end. I should just go back on. This is where you need to turn on the competitive switch in your brain. Work it out, even though it hurts. Push for that last mile. Don't let anything stop you.

The only way you are going to use is if you keep telling yourself you're going to. Once you put that in your head and leave it there you just bought yourself a one way ticket to the pill doctor. Stop yourself from thinking like that. It's 100% possible to stop thinking that. Your very own brain is the key to making you feel better. Change how you think and how you feel will change with it.

You have already proven yourself a fierce competitor in this battle against addiction. One year was a huge undertaking and you accomplished it. I congratulate you. That's 365 days you were able to live without any help from a pill proving it's possible. I'm at 47-48 days or something and you are my hero. You are the well trained athlete and I am still the fat dude sitting on the couch eating potato chips and dreaming about going to the gym so I can get all the girls. I think you know that you don't want to come back to sitting on the couch. There's a hot chick checking you out. Go hang out with her instead of eating potato chips. lol Be the winner!


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:21 pm 
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Brilliantly said!

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"the only way out is through"


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:41 pm 
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I've read through your original post a couple times and I'm trying to pinpoint what is bothering me about it. I think it's the idea that if you do go back on sub you would consider the last year and your efforts to get there to be a waste. I would hope that you didn't view it that way.

Rather, I think that you learned some things during the last year off suboxone. You've learned that there are some real pros and cons to being off all opiates. You enjoyed the feeling of telling the medical professionals in your life that you aren't on any medications. You liked living your life without being required to take a drug to deal with it. On the other hand, you know that there are always cravings for that high. You acknowledge the curiosity/fascination you still have with the idea of getting high again. And you are feeling some depression. Could it be that you like and idealize the idea of living drug-free more than the reality of living it? Some people feel so much better physically when they are off sub. Some people feel worse. It sounds like you fall into the latter category.

I do believe that many addicts are addicts because their brains do not produce enough endorphins. (That's a very simplistic description of what I mean.) Because of this they feel better when they receive an external dose of the replacement for those endorphins. So these people will always feel some depression, some lack of good feelings, when they lack this external source of replacement. Some addicts will say that they never felt "normal" until they were using opiates. For these addicts, I believe that suboxone is a good alternative to either obsession or depression.

I'm not sure if I'm totally correct on this, but I'm speculating that as an athlete you have plenty of access to pain medication, whether through doctors or through people who surround your sport. Is that correct? I saw in your last comment that if you had a lapse it wouldn't be just one or two pills. That scares me.

Taking all of this into consideration, I reach the conclusion that it would not be foolish at all to go back on a maintenance dose of sub. As I'm sure you're aware, you have a lot to lose!

I hope that another perspective helps you! I wish you the best in making this decision. I'm so glad that you've decided to post after being a lurker for so long! You are very welcome here!

Amy

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:26 am 
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It's so exciting to log in here and see that you not only have several additional responses, but thoughts and opinions that REALLY make great sense and are well thought out. That's the exact reason I chose THIS forum to join! I want to make certain that I answer all questions asked by those of you that take your time to respond. If I ever fail to do so PLEASE don't hesitate to make me aware of that!

Uwillbloved wrote:
So, since you're not fearing imminent relapse potential and are more just concerned with relapse sometime in the distant future, are you talking about a lifetime maintenance dose? Because it seems like getting back on bupe for any length of time, with the intention of getting off again at some point, the whole potential relapse is still there. Does that make sense? I don't feel like it does, but oh well, I tried =)
Actually, your comment makes PERFECT sense to me, and I completely agree with it. I'm in no danger of imminent relapse. Using again is the farthest from my mind, right now. But I know the potential is there, and will probably be there at some point.

To be perfectly clear, if I do decide to get back on subs it would be for the rest of my life with NO intentions of getting off again. That's why this decision is so important to me and not just a quick fix for the moment. It would make no sense to begin taking it again with plans to stop in the future. I may as well continue staying off if that were the case. I'm taking this VERY seriously and won't make a decision until I feel I have weighed every possible option. Every response here adds to the pro-con list and is so appreciated!

I congratulate you on reaching the 5 month date off the suboxone. I know the amount of courage and mental strength it takes to accomplish that. Great job! You said "I hope I'm not still riding the sober high". I personally don't see a thing wrong with that. Might keep thoughts of using again and cravings away? That's the way I look at it.

It's great that you feel so well off the subs. It certainly is wonderful knowing you can wake each morning and not need that immediate dose of an opiate to get moving. That alone makes it worth it. Take care and again your comments are awesome!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 8:22 am 
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Hey rizob...I definitely agree that your post was brilliant! Gave me a huge chuckle too! Lol. I like what you said about the one year anniversary possibly being a bad one. One year is a great milestone, but if you plan to live another 40+ years it really doesn't seem like you've climbed any mountain. It's very easy to think you have it beat after a year off everything. But I'm not naive enough to believe that.

I promise I'm as competitive as it gets. I want no one to out-do me. That was my life, and my job depended on it. I have no doubts I can be one that does make it. My mental thoughts are very strong. Seeing sports psychologist's were a huge help in my profession. They make you aware your brain is your greatest weapon, or can be your down fall or biggest obstacle.

This whole deal came about recently and just got me really thinking is all. I'm not going to talk myself into using, at least I hope that's not the case. I hear ya though, you said it right.

I congratulate you on achieving 48+ days free! No small task that takes much effort. Good job and hope you continue to excell. I consider it a real honor I may be someone you consider inspiring. If I can inspire anyone there is no greater reward!

Lol. I'm still laughing! Nothing wrong with being the fat dude on the couch eating potato chips while dreaming of the gym and all the girls. You're still being checked out I'm sure...by someone! Lol. I've seen plenty of hot chicks on the couch plowing down the chips. They gotta eat and dream too right. You're gonna be ok. Lol.

Thanks for your comments, rizob. Got my day off to a roaring start!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 10:48 am 
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Hello Amy. What marvelous observations and comments you've presented. And thanks for making me feel so welcome here, just as everyone else has also.

I read over my original post and can see where it might seem as if I felt the one year could be wasted if I do choose to return to bupe maintenance. Waste is way too harsh a word, and I didn't mean it that way at all. I should have chosen much better wording. It took hard work and a strong commitment allowing me getting to the one year date, which coincidentally happens to be today, April 2nd! Certainly cause for celebration, and it went so fast it's hard to believe! I hope I've demonstrated to those that choose to get off at some point that it can be done if one has the desire, and is fully ready to do so. It is truly a great feeling!

You betcha I've learned some things in the past year. It was certainly a worthwhile experience, and taught me many lessons along the way. I've learned how to say NO, and really mean it when offered a substance by that knew I used in the past. Even going back to the switch from methadone to suboxone gave me valuable experience that could help others here if they ever require and ask for help. And I could certainly give many pointers about tapering the doses of bupe also. Can't get that kind of experience unless you've been there. I don't pretend to be any kind of expert, and would never call myself one, but the path I've traveled would definitely be beneficial to some. I hope as time allows to post more and offer any kind of assistance that I can.

Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
Could it be that you like and idealize the idea of living drug-free more than the reality of living it? Some people feel so much better physically when they are off sub. Some people feel worse. It sounds like you fall into the latter category.
Great comment Amy. It's not that I necessarily feel a bit less content off the sub rather than on it, I believe it's these recent thoughts about the matter that is causing a bit of depression, and daily brain fogs. I feel great actually, but it's eating at me which is causing concern.

Another thing comes after the decision to stop bupe if someone has been on it for any substantial length of time and believes their life is in order, and they are fully prepared to go without. After my 4 years on suboxone I knew without one shred of doubt I was more than ready. I had completely turned my life around. Using never crossed my mind, and I had no cravings or desires at any point. I was as ready as ready could be. But once I was off it for some time the thoughts of using did enter my mind again. This was after about 3-4 months off the sub. Not strong cravings or constant thoughts at that point, but the occasional thinking and wondering how that "feeling" might be after so much time off? So you go from absolutely, positively, knowing without one bit of doubt you're ready to stop subs, to having those thoughts once you are off. Know what I mean? And that is what is alarming me, and questioning my own judgement about making the right decison to stop? And now after one full year off the thoughts are a bit stronger.

I guess what I'm saying is you can be so ready to get off subs you're about to bust getting started. You have a new life and feel abusing drugs will no longer be a part of it. You want off and that's it. No cravings while on bupe, no desires to ever use again. But once off the guard is down a little because your weapon (subs) are no longer in your system. I hope I'm making some kind of sense? Maybe I'm way over thinking things here?

Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
I'm not sure if I'm totally correct on this, but I'm speculating that as an athlete you have plenty of access to pain medication, whether through doctors or through people who surround your sport. Is that correct? I saw in your last comment that if you had a lapse it wouldn't be just one or two pills. That scares me.
You are correct about that. As a professional athlete travel is a huge part of it. Half your games are away from home. You know exactly where and how to obtain what you want in every city and town. It's so easy. But I retired last year at the ripe old age of 35. And I'm a little depressed knowing I could still be out there playing right now. But I made the right choice, and I am considering a small business to just remain busy. More of a hobby than for income. And I hear plenty of "what do you do for a living" when introduced or meeting someone new. I say I'm retired and they many times say "you mean you were layed off or lost your job"? When I say, no, I mean I am fully retired the looks I get are hilarious sometimes. Many times I actually feel guilty, sometimes not. It is what it is. I realize how lucky and blessed I am that's for sure.

What I meant by taking handfuls of pills instead of one or two is thinking my tolerance would be where it was before. One or two wouldn't do anything and I might gobble a pile of them. Just random thoughts and no cause for alarm, but I'm glad you mentioned it Amy.

I'm so sorry this is ridiculously long, but I wanted to give you the best response, and a better glimpse of things. I thoroughly value and appreciate your post.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 12:50 pm 
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Ballplayer!!! Congrats today on one year drug free..
That is amazing to me..
Amy broke things down pretty well. She always does.
As far as going back on Sub, that would be something id feel i had to to stay clean. Clean Enough we call it. I say this as a pro sub guy with 39 months..
Just keep up the great work you are doing and if those cravings come back or for any other reason, Bupe will be there waiting for you. I do not know yourhistory or what or whom your life is but take care of yourself. Whatever need be..

One year today!?!!!! Hats off Ballplayer........razor...


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 5:34 pm 
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Can we call you BP? I know you're not associated with British Petroleum, but I don't think anyone but me would make that association anyway! Lol!

I think your situation is uber common among addicts who have been off suboxone for a while. You are right, first of all, that you have to be completely motivated and feel that you'll never use again to get off suboxone. If you try to taper off while still ambivalent about whether you will use again, it's definitely not time to taper off!

People usually go through that "high on life" sort of stage when they first get off sub. But eventually that feeling wears off and you are facing life on life's terms for the first time in a long time. This is when addicts often have some slips or relapse completely. You are not alone in your feeling of missing the high and wondering what it would be like to be there again. I know of members here who have ridden that feeling out and gotten past it, whether they slipped along the way or not. And some have needed the stability of sub again.

Here are some things you are doing right! (I don't mean to be condescending at all, but everyone deserves some pats on the back. And I am old enough to be your older sister or long ago babysitter!) First, you are laying it all out right here; your feelings, your fears, your hopes for the future. It makes you accountable to us and helps keep you on the right track. Also, you recognize the need to get a little busier with your life so that you have other thoughts to focus on, instead of "I want to get high!" With your unique situation you have some opportunities to be a positive force in your community. Not only could you run a small business with good name recognition, you could start a small charity, or give your time to an existing charity.

You could even go public with your struggle with addiction and raise funds for more research or advocate for teenage addicts. This is, of course, completely up to you. You sound like the type of person who, despite your success, is very grateful for the life you've led and the opportunities you've had. Addicts are, by nature, self-centered to an extent. Athletes can be the same. So the fact that you show humility by sharing your story, asking for help, and showing gratitude means to me that you are someone who could be called to a life of service to others. Just a thought.

Something else that you might want to think of is adding some more recovery tools to your arsenal. Maybe meetings would not be your thing but there are materials available online from Smart Recovery, there is information about step work, etc.

I'm just throwing out some ideas that are good alternatives to going back on sub, if you would really like to avoid it. You are very smart to be wary of getting sucked back in. As you've recognized, addiction can come back to bite you in the ass when you least expect it. I, myself, have this fear that since I didn't have many negative consequences from my abuse of pain killers, I will start up again and think that I'll get away with it. I wonder if my "bottom" wasn't low enough. I have enough doubts about this that I don't see myself going off sub anytime soon.

Don't apologize for writing long posts! As you can see there are a lot of us that do it too!

Sincere congratulations on one year off all opiates!

Amy

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:59 pm 
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It's a good question and one I often ponder when I'm ready to jump one day. I really think that our own opiate receptors are so complex and give us comfort in so many ways, for starters consider how opiates whether the ones our own bodies produce(endogenous) or opiate drugs(exogenous)relieve pain 'temporarily'. And we are talking relief of physical and mental pain(depression etc)

You sound a bit like me in that opiates probably help your depression when that presents in your mind. But of course it is healthier to be on subs than opiate drugs.

So I guess you have 2 options. See whether your mental state and moods improve over the next 12 months(paws they say can last 2 bloody years)and as others here have stated, try to increase your vitamins and mineral intake with good nutrition and exercise which definitely gives the rush of endorphins which are the ones our bodies are not producing well as former drug users. But if appropriate medication doesn't help for example venlafaxine which I take for my low moods, then don't let that low, low experience drag you back on using again, in which case go back on a low maintenance dose of Suboxone like 2mg. Hang in there and I hope it works out for you.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 8:55 am 
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razor55 wrote:
Ballplayer!!! Congrats today on one year drug free..
That is amazing to me..
Amy broke things down pretty well. She always does.
As far as going back on Sub, that would be something id feel i had to to stay clean. Clean Enough we call it. I say this as a pro sub guy with 39 months..
Just keep up the great work you are doing and if those cravings come back or for any other reason, Bupe will be there waiting for you. I do not know yourhistory or what or whom your life is but take care of yourself. Whatever need be..

One year today!?!!!! Hats off Ballplayer........razor...
Thank you for that, Razor! It's amazing to me also that I have achieved that one year milestone despite knowing the odds may be against it. And yes, Amy sure does provide superior input which is very helpful and exactly what I'm searching for here. Everyone has offered their own perspectives which gives me much more info that I have had. I'm certain I will be able to make a well informed decision when I finally decide what I want to do.

You said you didn't know my history or about my life so I assume you didn't have the opportunity to read my intoduction post, and a few others after it. That's perfectly ok Razor, and I realize not everyone makes the forum their top priority, or has the time to do so. I'm just extremely happy you did post so thank you very much!

I'm just an ordinary guy, professional athlete, and professional addict. I was on suboxone for 4 years, and as you know yesterday, April 2nd was my 1-year anniversary of stopping the subs! I'm doing very well, but thinking very seriously about returning to bupe maintenance to protect from possible relapse at any point the rest of my life. Not an easy decision, but one well worth researching in my opinion. That's the short version of things to hopefully make it simplier for you and others not have to go back and read everything written. Hope it helps.

Thanks very much for the congrats Razor. Hope you are well also and please feel free to stop by again soon!

-BP


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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