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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:08 am 
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Has anyone done this?

Reason I bring it up is that I have never had a problem with alcohol. It's just a drug that never really appealed to me to use to 'get out of my head'. I am a social drinker.

I found that while I was in NA, because of it's 100% abstinence position on alcohol, I found myself isolating from my non-addict friends, friends who are very precious to me. Over those years in the 12-steps I drifted away from my "healthy" friends outside the fellowship because I stayed away from parties and gatherings where people were drinking socially. This is one of the big reasons I left the rooms, because of pressure to stay away from people who drink, even though I never had a problem with alcohol. My friends would meet in pubs and get together over jugs of beer, but being in perpetual early-recovery I was told I would need to sever from them and make new-friends in NA (arguably less healthy than my other friends).

Does anyone here go to meetings and continue drinking socially? I'm aware that some people do this. How do you manage identifying? Do you ID as clean? When others in the rooms find out you're drinking, is there controversy or pressure from them?

I would consider going back to meetings, but I would definitely play it differently - take what I need and leave the rest. I see no reason to abstain from alcohol. Just last year I stopped drinking for 6 months to raise money for a charity, so I'm by no means addicted to alcohol. But abstinence from alcohol does fuck with my social life.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 6:53 am 
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I've never done meetings (NA or counseling, to be honest)...except for when I FIRST got on Suboxone and I was forced to get my Subs from the methadone clinic because I didn't know the availability of Subs at a private doctor office. There was a psychiatrist at the methadone clinic and in order to get Suboxone, I had to meet with her twice monthly to keep my script and not be kicked from the program.

I met with her once, she only offered a discount to the sub patients so the meetings with her weren't "free" or included with the $250 initial fee, or the $165/weekly visit fee that I was forced to pay to keep getting Suboxone (highway robbery for a dr fee)...she charged an extra $50/meeting..so twice a month = lots of money. i met with her once.

Once I got into Suboxone from a dr office (about 4 months after going into the methadone clinic -- I got kicked from that program because I couldn't come up with that kind of money)..I was told by the doctor that I would need to find counseling...so I proceeded to visit the local mental health facility and got into a program. This program would also allow me to go to college for free if I so chose..but I chose to find a job instead through the career center. They never found me a job, and I dropped the program once I came to the conclusion that the doctor didn't follow up with them to see that I was actually going..

When I switched doctors and came into my current doctor, he asked if I was going to counseling...so I said yes.. and he's never checked or asked for papers to show proof. Once in a blue moon he'll ask if I'm still going and I say yes..but he doesn't push the issue much.
For me, meetings wouldn't have done much good. I'm a very talkative person, but at this point I don't like speaking to people, especially strangers, because of the embarrassment I feel for looking like a damn jack-o-lantern when I smile. Once I get my plates and have all these teeth extracted, I'll feel better about going in public and actually speaking..might even try to help others in the same situation as I was at one time..but I can't feel comfortable right now.

I prefer using this as my "counseling"..since I'm a stay-home father and I'm here ALL the time, I use the internet and my reading as recovery material..this is my way of getting the help on the counseling end of things...I make myself read and learn new things about addiction and treatment...and I think that's the idea behind wanting a Suboxone patient to be in counseling in the first place. I hate that I've lied and said that I do go to meetings, but meetings don't do much for me, never have. I can tell plenty of people who i am and what my story is..just like I've done here. So why do i have to leave the house and actually BE there in person? I could just send the doctor a link to my post here in "Addiction Stories" and tell him to search my username on this site...and see that I post regularly here..that should be enough counseling...

As far as drinking goes with suboxone -- i have two major issues with it that I never had before.

1)now that I am on Suboxone, I just don't want it. For some reason, I went from enjoying a cold beer now and then, and alcohol NEVER being a problem for me (33 years old, never been addicted to alcohol), to not even thinking about it now.

2)My dental "problem". I can't stand cold drinks, PERIOD. I've always been a big coffee drinker anyway..since the days when I was in my late teens/early twenties and I worked a VERY early shift at an ice cream production facility here in town. I was forced to get up and be at work by 2am daily...and I became a VERY big coffee drinker..pouring down at least 2 pots a day by myself. Now that I have these major dental issues, I can't drink anything with ice, and even just thinking about an "ice cold beer" gives me shivers because I know how painful it would be. I've drank a beer (NOTE == ONE BEER) in two years, and I used a straw because I didn't want my teeth to give me fits when I was finished with it. I haven't drank since July 4, 2010...and I poured out the last beer that was in my fridge back in September. I dunno that I can credit suboxone with helping me stop completely, but I just don't have the urge to drink right now. Maybe when I get my mouth fixed, I'll enjoy the feeling of a relaxing afternoon with a cold beer in-hand again...but not for a while to come.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2012 9:43 am 
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this is where my doc is so fucking careless and ignorant'. meetings only" nothing else. bull shit, i say'.
but now "finally" he wants me to give him some prove of some thing else than meetings.
and we need to be care full on every thing any way.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 10:59 pm 
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Has anyone had experience with this?

Kinda need some pointers.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 4:05 am 
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I drank a few times while attending NA and I didn't tell anybody because I didn't want to hear all the garbage. Basically, I can't stand alcohol, I don't like how it makes me sloppy, I don't enjoy it period. But, on occasion, while out with friends, I will have a beer or two just to be social.

If I thought there was any way on God's green earth that I could have a problem with alcohol, then I'd stay away from it completely like I have to do with weed, coke and opiates.

Now that I'm finally getting the hang of this recovery thing, I've realized that I can not isolate myself from my non-addict friends. For a good while, the only friends I had were all from NA and I got completely sick and tired of hearing all the dang cliches and saying's 24/7 only to watch half of them go out and use again (me included).

I didn't quit drugs to become a mindless NA robot, I quit drugs to be free. NA gave me a lot, no doubt about it, but it's far from the "perfect" program they claim it to be.

Truthfully, I learned a bunch from NA, then I quit going, I re-established friendships with my non-addict friends and I'm doing pretty dang awesome in my recovery. All the while I was in NA, my recovery was precarious, at best.

Hanging around with "normal" people is the best way I've found to be "normal", but I have not forsaken my recovery either.

Everything I typed above is MY experience with NA, it's how it affected me. I'm not trying to bash NA, I was just relating my experience.

Tear, if you wanna attend NA and drink socially to maintain your non-addict friends, I say go for it.

One more thing I learned, recovery isn't in the meeting rooms of NA, recovery is in us. You know enough about recovery to be successful Tear, now you gotta apply it. For the longest time, I knew recovery, but I didn't do shit about putting it into motion and suffered for it. Once I put what I had learned into motion, things got a LOT easier.

Sorry my thoughts are a bit scattered, it's the middle of the night, I couldn't get back to sleep so I decided to check out the forum and make some nonsensical posts. :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:09 am 
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You make a good point Romeo...stopping your addiction gives you freedoms that you lost along the way, but with NA, you have limits to your freedoms. How can you be free and take your mindset to a new "high" (or plateau) if you are chastised or told that you can only have "THESE" friends, go to "THESE" places...

To me, that's not freedom, that's almost like dictatorship. I want my freedom to be me, without any mind-altering substance..and I can do that and still have control over my actions. I'm the one that decides what is best for me, though I've been destructive in the past, now that I have a healthy mind, I also have a more healthy attitude.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:55 am 
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I never understood the whole drinking "just to be social". What makes a person more social just by having a beer in their hand instead of a tonic water or a diet Coke? I'm honestly not trying to be argumentative. I'm just trying to understand where this whole idea of "being more sociable" with an alcoholic drink in one's hand started. And why do any of us buy into it? I've never ordered a drink just to be "sociable" - only if I wanted one. I don't think I even know what it means to have a drink to be sociable. When one does that do they drink it? Only sip it? I'm genuinely asking. (I know this isn't exactly what this thread is about, so I apologize for going off on a tangent.)

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:03 am 
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You probably don't understand it hatmaker because people don't drink "just to be social", at least no people I know. That makes it sound like their socialising is dependent on alcohol. I've never heard the expression of drinking "just to be social", and can't say I've ever done it personally. It would require a fair amount of social ineptitude I'd imagine.

Drinking socially means I only drink in social settings when it's appropriate - ie I don't drink on my own.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:06 am 
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HAHA!! Tearjerker, your last post pretty much described me perfectly, I have drank to be social and I am socially inept. It has everything to do with me being an introvert.

As an introvert, I get overwhelmed by external stimuli and my brain just can't "keep up" when I'm in social settings. Just going ahead and having a beer is the easiest thing to do because #1---it does relax me a bit and #2---it keeps me from having to field all those stupid questions as to why I'm not having a beer. The last thing an introvert wants in a social setting is to draw attention to himself, having a beer helps me blend in.

Thankfully, most of the people I hang out with are not regular drinkers so it's not really a big issue for me.

Hat, I hope what I said made some sense. I know from this book I'm reading about introversion that extraverts have a hell of a time understanding introverts.....kinda like non-addicts trying to understand us addicts! lol

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 11:16 am 
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Aha, I think I gotcha. Thanks for taking the time to clarify. You didn't have to do that and I appreciate it. :)

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 3:46 pm 
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I thought social drinking was a pretty common term, but hey, maybe because I'm an innie too! :o Never thought of it that way Romeo.

I also did many things to blend in to avoid the dreaded questioning of why I wasn't doing what everyone else around me was doing. Mostly when I was younger though. I think the older I've gotten, the more I've started doing things because I want to, instead of to please others so that I appear "normal".

But it is true, when I am with a crowd that drinks, even now, people don't seem to like it if I am not joining them. Seems like it really bothers them that I are not sharing the same mindframe or on the same wavelength as them. I understand why they would want me to join in, because they are having fun getting buzzed, and want me to feel the same. But it can get a bit annoying, so sometimes I'd just have a drink in my hand just to ward of the questions too.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:41 am 
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I guess I don't get it because I've never had a problem holding a non-alcoholic drink in my hand while everyone else was drinking. No one ever questioned me or looked at me funny nor did I ever feel out of place. I guess that's why I was questioning the phrase itself. Maybe it is a matter of introverts vs extroverts or something similar like that.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 9:58 am 
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I just love beer. I love the taste. When I gave up drinking for a year, the thing I missed the most was the taste of a good hearty ale with a silky head flowing down the side of the ice cold glass. mmmm

Knock off drinks after work on a Friday afternoon. Hanging out in the beer garden on a sunny weekend with good friends. Beer is one of those things God / Shiva / L. Ron Hubbard blessed us with I believe. When I go to the Pearly Gates, old St Pete's going to quiz me on how much of the lord's beer I have consumed to see how pure and deserving of eternal life I truly am. And in heaven it will rain beer, and everyone will be merry. And we will all pass our hangovers to those who suffer in eternal damnation, those sorry misguided temperance leaguer and tee-totallers who didn't drink enough beer in their lives to qualify for eternal life, while we party on clasping our Godly brews dear while throwing little fluffy clouds at each other...


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PostPosted: Wed May 09, 2012 4:11 pm 
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LOL, Tear....

You are too funny! I love beer too! No froofy girlie drinks for me either...cold bud light is so good on a summer afternoon! I haven't decided yet if I am just an addict or an addict/alcoholic. I have never went on a complete bender for days at a time with alcohol like I did with opiates. But I really like to drink...and I don't usually drink just one or two. More often than not I drink to get drunk. To my complete embarassment on more than one occasion.

I did decide when I started suboxone that I was going to go at least 6 months without drinking. I figured it would give me enough time to figure out if I needed to quit for good or just look at my drinking with a different attitude.

By the way...I still love beer, but I need to give a shout out to my good pal Jack too. He ain't to bad either! :twisted:


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 4:16 am 
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I've never had a problem with alcohol either, so it doesn't really cross my mind to abstain from it, other than the fact that I recognize that some people move from their d.o.c. to alcohol. Since starting suboxone last October, I've had maybe a handful of drinks, probably less. I only drink an occasional margarita or vodka with grapefruit and cranberry. Every single time I have wine I get a headache. And beer is kind of a sad story...

I remember touring the Anheuser Busch brewery in Williamsburg, VA when I was about 14. Was I sad that I was too young to have a sample at the end of the tour? HA!!! I was too busy trying not to gag from the smell of the hops! I could be as poetic as Tear in my description of how much I hate beer. Now let's talk irony. I've been married almost 15 years to a man who has worked for Coors for over 30 years!! We get three free cases of any Coors, Miller, or Molson product each month, our choice! My husband might have a beer on a hot day, or after work, but we mostly give it away to friends and neighbors.

Tear, if you lived anywhere close to me, I'd gladly give you a case!

Cheers,
Amy

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