It is currently Tue Aug 22, 2017 6:28 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 3:49 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 11:02 pm
Posts: 1002
I thought I'd turn to the forum for help with this, as I know there's a few people on board who have bipolar disorder, or who have experienced depression in recovery.

I've been looking back over my years of recovery and relapse, and an obvious pattern has formed. I seem to be able to stay clean when I'm mentally well and free of mood-episodes. Even when there's stress at work, or I'm going through relationship turmoil, or even when there's been a death of someone close, I can carry on without turning to drugs. Occasionally in periods of stress I'll fall back on smoking cigarettes, but that is just a tiny step backwards in comparison to returning to injecting drugs. When I'm well, I seem to have healthy coping mechanisms, like swimming or just talking to friends.

What really brings me undone, hook line and sinker, is depression. I seem to fall into these dark places every couple of years, and there's not much that I can do to stop it from happening. When I feel the blues coming on, I often react with panic. I'll start swimming heaps more, or push myself harder with my work / study to try and distract myself. But such measures only seem to buy me some time. It's usually a couple of weeks before I'm totally isolated, turning away jobs for work, and spend the day thinking of ways to end my life.

It's then that I usually start using heroin. It's my way to give-up without giving my life away entirely. And it would, for the most part, give me a break from the pain.

My question is for those people who might be able to relate to this, or for any of those with concurrent mental illness and addiction issues. How is it that you can manage to push through periods of depression without relapsing into addiction? What are the tools you use, or what are your methods to cope and get through? I really do feel now that this is the key to my recovery. If I can survive the 4-6 month periods of depression that come upon me every couple of years without using, there may be hope for me yet.

Ideally we'd keep the discussion free of people questioning whether mental illness exists and all that stuff.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 2:30 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
TeeJay,

That's interesting that you posted this when you did. A couple of weeks ago, I decided to try an OTC testosterone supplement to help with my weight lifting. After a little less than a week on it, I could feel my mood crashing. It's like someone walked up and pulled my "emotional stability" rug out from under me and I started to descend quickly. At times, it felt like I was losing my mind and that's quite a scary thing. I had suffered a few episodes like this during the PAWS phase of my opiate wd, so I kinda knew what to expect and that helped. I stopped the T supplement immediately and after 2 or 3 days, things are good again now. It really shocked me how a freakin' cheap ass T supplement could do this to me, but it did.

I wonder, when your episodes hit, is there any diet change or anything like that that accompanies it?

I know I haven't been diagnosed bipolar and I'm guessing the depressive episodes I've had pale in comparison to the magnitude of yours, but the timing of your post and what I just went through prompted me to post this.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:23 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 11:02 pm
Posts: 1002
Hey Romes.

Yeah interesting timing that's for sure. It's good you identified it when you did, and were able to put 2+2 together and stop taking your T supplement. It almost sounds like symptoms of taking steroids! People who juice up are known to go a bit crazy, anhedonic and irritable. Wonder if there's any similarities between the mechanism of what you were taking and people who take growth hormones?

There's no real shift in my diet, or what I put in my body before these things happen. Some relatively new research into bipolar has the doctors questioning whether bipolar is a mitochondrial disorder. Mitochondria are basically the power / battery cells within our body's cells. They believe now that bipolar is caused by a lack of regulation in the mitochrondria in the brain's neurons. The lil power houses in the neurons seem to release too much energy for a period (mania) then burn out, leading to periods of depression. In people without bipolar, the release of energy is better regulated and the energy is released and re-generated more sustainably.

Diet does play a role though that's for sure. If I pig out on fast food or let my diet slip in general, I'm more prone to getting depressed. But this is true for everyone, not just people with bipolar.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:40 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Yeah, I knew I shouldn't even attempt to mess with my T levels. A bigger fella in the gym suggested I try BPI Sports A-HD and like a dummy, I did. I've been doing real good with my workouts, all I take is a pre-workout drink (mostly caffeine and some vitamins), I drink my protein shakes and take Creatine.....that's it. I knew I didn't wanna mess with my T or any steroids or any shit like that. I've put enough crap in my body over the years and I want to keep my workouts clean. Just had a moment of weakness and made a bad decision.....seems to be a fairly constant theme in my life. LOL

That's fascinating that bipolar may be linked to a mitochondrial dysfunction. For some reason, I always remembered the term mitochondria from grade school science. The teacher called it the power house of the cell. Anyhow, I wonder if some meds that treat other mitochondrial issues may now be tried on folks with bipolar?

I hope some of the other folks on this board who deal with bipolar chime in and let you know what has worked for them. Have you ever searched for a bipolar forum? I would think there have to be forums that discuss bipolar and maybe you could pick up some info?

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 10:40 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2012 5:04 pm
Posts: 424
The first time I was on Suboxone, I never treated my depression, so I ended up relapsing. The second time I got back on Suboxone, I decided to get treatment for my depression and take 20mg of Lexapro as well as 40 mg of Proprananol for anxiety. This helped me so much . Are you currently taking something for your bipolar disorder?


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group