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 Post subject: Stay or go?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:00 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 4:59 pm
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Hi guys. It's been awhile since I've posted but as always, I'm lurking around reading posts and taking support from what everyone writes. I have been doing okay for the past 6-7 months, especially with my new doctor. But right now I find myself needing to make a decision and I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do. Thanks to an emergent and unexpected medical procedure, I ended up off my sub. I have a history of horrible withdrawals from pretty much everything I've ever taken, including the lapse I had last year between old doctor and new. However, and maybe due to other more pressing distractions, this time hasn't been so bad. I'm almost 2 weeks without subs and other than two days post-procedure pain meds, I haven't had anything else. So I'm left with the choice of trying to stay off subs (and my DOC's) or re-inducing. I'm really torn. In some ways I hate to 'throw away' what was essentially an easy transition off (granted, I'm no where near 100%, but I'm doing well enough) but I am concerned about relapse. I have chronic pain issues as well as my addiction and I'm not sure that I am far enough in my recovery to successfully stay clean on my own. As a licensed medical professional, my job, my license and my livelihood are at stake if I were to relapse and that become public knowledge. Part of me really wants to stay off, the other part isn't sure about being able to stay clean...
Thoughts?

M.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:45 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:02 pm
Posts: 1342
Location: West Tennessee
Hey Mamasita,

I noticed you haven't had any responses so I thought I would give it a shot. This is a tough one. I guess to me it really depends on if you desire to be off the suboxone eventually or if you think you might need to stay on it long term. If you had planned on stopping it at some point then I might give serious consideration to staying off while you have that 2 weeks under your belt. On the other hand, there is so much at stake for you if you do have a relapse... Maybe you could try to abstain, keeping some subs on hand just in case you have a tempting moment. It would be far better to use the suboxone in that case than to go back to your DOC. It's been a few days since you posted, how are you doing today? Let us know and we will help you talk this out K?


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 Post subject: Tough one
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 4:37 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:35 am
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Hi Mamasita,

Like qhorsegal, I too will try to put some perspective on your difficult problem. What I didn't read was what you were doing now to stay clean and sober. Have you ever gone to NA meetings, met with an addiction specialist, or any other recovery program? That may be the answer to your problem. Get involved with some recovery program to help with your cravings and other triggers you might have. If you have posted it in the past, I apologize. But it's better to ask than not.

Considering your feeling okay physically I would hope you'd be willing to try anything to stay that way. I do know what you mean about not being sure. I remember quite clearly the times I quit pain pills for a week or two. The whole time I felt vulnerable and knew deep down that I'd go back to them. I was just fooling myself. Looking back at it now fills me with regret that I didn't do anything for my state of mind. This is where you are at now I presume. Do you really want to go back on to Suboxone after being freed from all opiates? Only you know how much you are willing to do to stay clean. I surely hope you choose recovery and not maintenance.

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