It is currently Mon May 01, 2017 2:49 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 60 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2010 2:32 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2009 1:36 pm
Posts: 74
I agree with donh. Unfortunately I think you are dealing with people that are in a higher category to be unpredictable. Try not to take it personally. You had two people that were with you instead of using. Reminds me of the story of how AA got started. If I recall correctly he would just go drag the drunks from the streets and take them home with him (to his wife's dismay). Now look at how many people it helps.

It took a lot of courage, time and planning to do what you are doing. Like you said keep on keepin on! You will make a difference.

_________________
Promise me you will always remember...You are braver than you believe, you are stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!

*Christopher Robin to Pooh


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 6:08 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hi all, just a little update on the group. I'm still struggling to get communication out of the members that joined. Some I just haven't heard from since they joined the group. I do have one regular, so that's good. Tonight is another meeting.

This week I sent out over 30 letters/flyers to local suboxone doctors advertising my group. I actually got a phone call from one of the doctors today thanking me for starting the group and for letting him know about it. How cool is that?? And one of my members just started on sub this week. When she left the doc's office with a bunch of literature, one of my flyers was among it all! Again, very cool. So word is getting out there. I'm really hoping to get some new members from this most recent mailing.

I'm trying to remain realistic, knowing that these things take time, but I'm also staying optimistic. Thanks again for everyone's support. Any success I have with this group goes to all of you, too. So thanks!

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:46 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
I just got finished with tonight's meeting. Three members came, plus me. That's a good number! Better than before, when the most that's attended was 2. One of the attendees tonight was a new member who just joined today. And next week we should have another new member - someone who got received of my flyers from a doctor and who called me this evening.

That mass mailing I did a couple weeks ago is starting to show results. I'm very pleased with the progress thus far. For now I'm holding the meetings at my home. I suppose we could meet at a restaurant or something, but honestly, who wants to discuss their drug addiction in public where other people can hear us? So for now home is where it will continue to take place.

It's funny, whenever I get an email notification that someone new has joined the group I get very excited. I know, it's kind of silly, but I can't help it, after all the time and effort I've put into this group/these meetings, any progress makes me happy. One person is court-ordered to meetings but the others come of their own volition - which is very rewarding for me. It tells me they appreciate my effort.

Just wanted to post an update! :D

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 2:39 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
I wanted to post an update for those of you that have been so supportive with my group since its inception. Last week I had a new member. We hit it off great - meeting terrific people is a bonus, don't you think? And this morning I got a phone call from a new member who also received one of my flyers from their doctor. She should be coming to the meeting this week (tomorrow). She's only been on sub since April and had a lot of questions. I helped with her questions as best I could and also referred her to this forum.

I'm so excited!

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 5:39 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
It's been a couple weeks since I last updated you all. After my last post, I've had nothing but no-show meetings. It's been frustrating, no doubt about it, but I refuse to give up. I've even been taking the time to put up discussions about addiction and recovery on my website, but no one is really reading them. At the suggestion of another member I put my support group info on a couple of recovery websites. Then I realized that I needed to advertise locally, too, so I've been reaching out to lists of local support groups in my area to have my group added, including one of the local papers. So let's hope this little burst of advertising gets me some new members. Just think, now that I've been advertising, I CAN'T give up! LOL.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 11:02 am 
Offline
3 Months or More
3 Months or More

Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 11:23 am
Posts: 92
hatmaker, I sign on here only periodically (far from a faithful forum member). But, I remember when you first talked about setting up a meeting and I googled to find where it was and was disappointed that it was nowhere near me. That's all to say that I think that it's an awesome idea.

I'm sorry to read your latest entry that you had a couple of no-show meetings recently. Do you think that the fact that it's mid-summer could be a contributing factor? I attend NA/AA (and, yes, I feel less-than, even though my homegroup is awesome about ORT, just as my AA group is totally cool to have addicts attend). Attendance fluctuates in the summer even when it's easier to attend regularly because there are a slew of meetings to fit into vacation, etc. schedules. I don't think that having a couple of no-show meetings at a once-a-week gathering in the midst of summer is necessarily an accurate forecast for a group.

I hope that you continue in the endeavor. I know that, even though I have AA/NA support, I would LOVE to have a Sub Support Group. I don't discuss my ORT at meetings and, sometimes, I wish that I had someone face-to-face. I usually just end up acting as though I'm not taking anything.

In addition to summertime impacting the meeting attendance, the fact that the meeting is at your home might also deter some folks from coming. It wouldn't deter me, but it would my husband. People are just different. Have you considered finding a public meeting facility? Perhaps a hospital that has a detox unit that uses Sub?

These are just some thoughts from someone who, obviously, is sticking her nose into your business -- but that's because I think that your business is an extremely worthwhile endeavor.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Aug 15, 2010 9:07 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hi Christin,

Summer could definitely be the cause of things being so slow - I know it's that way with this forum. Last week I had two people come and two are expected this week also. Of course, I served dessert - HA - I'm not above bribing them with food!
I did ask my members how they felt about meeting places. The two that are coming regularly don't mind meeting at my home. The rest of my small group of members simply don't respond to communication.

It is frustrating, but I have no intention of letting the group go by the wayside. I intend to keep trying, no matter how long it takes. I feel that if I've helped one person, then it's worth it.

I want to thank you for your support. If you're looking for a local meeting, have you tried the "Meetup.com" website? They list all sorts of meetings in every possible locale, from addiction recovery to crafts to walking groups. Or you could start your own group as I have - if that's what you're interested in.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Aug 15, 2010 12:53 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 10:38 pm
Posts: 181
Location: Cleveland suburb
Hatmaker,
Try having a set topic or agenda for you meetings. We did the same thing a few years back and I remember getting better turn outs when our meetings had a topic for the week. For example, when you print out flyers say something like "this weeks meeting we will be discussing how our families feel about suboxone" or this weeks meeting will cover relapse prevention. We always had a better showing with this approach. Best of luck and good for you taking an initiative like this.

_________________
"Why can't I worship the Lord like most people, by praying like hell on my death bed"
-Homer Simpson-


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Aug 15, 2010 1:51 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hey smoothy, thanks for your input. I do have topics every week. I post it on the group's website and in reminders.
I wanted to thank you for the topic you mentioned though...I hope you don't mind if we use it for this week's online meeting, too. We've never discussed that subject before and I think it will be a good one for both meetings - here online and at my in-person group. So thanks for the idea! :D

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:41 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hi everyone,

I wanted to let everyone know how things are going with the meetings/support group. I've got two regulars who attend most meetings. There's been no new members in quite a while and I've done all the advertising I can. I've also sent group flyers to all the local subox docs within 50 miles.

OK, back to the members...Unfortunately, both of them are required to come - one by her doctor and the other by his probation officer. I say unfortunately because their interest in the group seems to be obligatory only. I will say that the woman enjoys coming and we've grown to be friends. The man, however, is quite young and very obviously has no interest in being here. He will only show up if the other member can come.

What I struggle with is trying to keep things on topic...discussing recovery and addiction. Things tend to go the way of just chatting. I think I'm having trouble being a firm facilitator, without being overly aggressive about directing the topic of conversation.

So if anyone has an words of wisdom regarding meeting facilitation or just ideas that might help me, I'd be very grateful.
Maybe it's time to do another mass mailing? (Although that can get costly for someone who's broke.)

Thanks for listening.

Mel

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:35 pm 
You've probably already thought of this. But what about following some sort of text, like NA/AA has their literature and workbooks and such. Perhaps there is just a general type of addiction workbook or something like that out there. I haven't really looked for that in particular, but I know there are workbooks for a lot of other disorders like anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and such out there. Maybe that would give you a subject and then you could proceed with some sort of an outline that you'd like to cover for the meeting. Or what about setting up one of Dr. Junig's youtube videos for all to watch and then discuss? When I went through IOP the group leader would often do some teaching at the beginning of the meeting, which I'm sure you could do, and then open it for discussion. There was one session in which we all were required to write a "goodbye letter" to our drug(s) of choice and then read them aloud.....that was really great. I think it also gave the therapist a better idea of where each of us was at, in terms of our desire to be in recovery and such. Of course, this was a group of about 8-12 with licensed therapists and I realize that makes a difference. I can see how it would be particularly difficult with just three to stay on topic.
Anyway those were just a couple thoughts I thought I would toss your way in case you hadn't already tried them or thought of them. Good luck!


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 7:45 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Thanks for your input, SMF. I had not thought of that - it's a really good idea. I'm so glad I decided to ask you all for your input. So I spent some time online yesterday looking at different workbooks. Looks like I'll be headed to the book store this week to find something appropriate and relevant to my group.

Thanks again!

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 1:15 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 10:38 pm
Posts: 181
Location: Cleveland suburb
It's funny you mentioned food. The biggest meeting here in Cleveland is a Thursday night meeting with well over 200 people and what a suprise, they have free donuts after the meeting. It is a very good meeting also but there are way more people heading to the donut table than thanking the speaker after the meeting. It always makes me laugh to see a bunch of drunks and drug addicts shred through hundreds of donuts. Please don't get discouraged and keep it going. I was accually in Michigan two weeks ago for a Green Day concert and a little r and r with my with and I kept thinking about you and your new meeting. I would have loved to stop in and support your efforts but I didn't have a clue as to how far away from Detroit you are. It can also be a wierd boundary to cross, going from members on the same forum to meeting in person. Anyway, best of luck. In the future when your group is 50 plus you will have stories to tell about only 2 people shoeing up.

_________________
"Why can't I worship the Lord like most people, by praying like hell on my death bed"
-Homer Simpson-


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 5:30 pm 
I'm glad that I gave you an idea Hatmaker! I'll be interested to hear what materials you're able to find. Maybe it will turn out to be something that you will want to recommend to some of us here if you find it to be worthwhile! In any case, I was just thinking about any type of thing like that I've been involved in, either leading or participating, things always seem to run more smoothly when you've got an outline or text or PowerPoint presentation or whatever. Although I know you're not aiming to be a heavy-handed facilitator, I hope something like this will help get the happy-medium you're striving for.
Good luck with it!
And thanks for your support at last night's meeting!


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 07, 2010 6:09 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:11 am
Posts: 427
Location: Fishers, Indiana
Hatmaker I've gotta say how proud of you I am for not giving up on the meetings. I'd give anything to have a medication assisted recovery group meeting anywhere close by. Oh and I know for me that food would totally keep me coming back lol. Now I just need to either start or look harder for a central Indiana meeting I used to regularly attend AA/NA meetings but I just started getting tired of it. I guess it was just hard for me to try and relate to people who were still dealing with wanting to use everyday because I really didn't have to deal with that anymore after I started Suboxone. I also didn't like having to hide the fact that I was taking bupe.

_________________
"If you're going through hell, ....keep going!"
-Winston Churchill


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 8:33 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Thanks everyone! Smoothy - I live in Lansing...about an hour from Detroit. If you're ever in Michigan again, just let me know and I'd be more than happy to have you visit our group. I'm comfortable with that.

Matt - Have you checked out meetup.com? They have groups all over the place...just put in your city/state and maybe there's an addiction recovery group in your area. It's the website I used to start and maintain my group.

I'll let you all know what workbook(s) I find. Maybe I can use it at the meetings online here, too, as well as on the main forum to help us all work on our recovery.

I think I have some renewed optimism. Now maybe it's time to send out more fliers again. Thanks again everyone for the kind words and all the support you've given me in this endeavor. I might not be sticking it out were it not for your support.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 12:21 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
I hit two HUGE bookstores yesterday and neither one had one single workbook. So I picked one out from Amazon (as best I could not being able to thumb through it). For the size of those bookstores, they both had a horribly tiny section of books about addiction and/or recovery, and much of what they had was fiction. I was sorely disappointed. But I think that goes along with the stigma that's attached to addiction. I find sometimes, and this was one of those times, that I expect way too much of people.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 4:39 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 10:38 pm
Posts: 181
Location: Cleveland suburb
Sometimes religous book stores will have a small section of addiction and AA literature. I know, there goes my whole argument that AA is not religous. It's worth a try. There's a store not too far from me that half is catholic stuff and the other half is all 12 step and addiction stuff. We actually go there instead of the AA central office for coins and stuff like that. I would call around before you drive all over Michigan browsing religous book stores.

_________________
"Why can't I worship the Lord like most people, by praying like hell on my death bed"
-Homer Simpson-


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 4:50 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Thanks, Smoothy, but that's not the type of books/workbooks I'm looking for. My group is secular in nature - an alternative to 12 step programs. But thanks for the thought.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 4:45 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hi all,

So this is what's happening. I have basically two members in my support group currently. I've gotten no new members in weeks, if not months. So it's just the three of us. As you all know I took SMF's advice and ordered a couple of addiction/recovery workbooks. One arrived today and I've just started going over it. (Thanks, SMF!)

Anyhoo, one of my members, I'll call him "J", is pretty young. He's a very immature 22 years old. When he does come, he's always been late and doesn't stay very long. I (as well as the other member) have noticed major changes in him lately. It's quite clear that although he's technically on suboxone, he's using again - Adderall, Opiates, smoking pot - who knows what else. He DID NOT tell me personally, but told the other member who in turn told me (confidentially). So if any of you know me at all, you know that my desire is to help him, to do what I can. By the way, both of my members are required to attend my group. J is required for his probation and the other by her doctor, in lieu of counseling.

So this is the reason for this post: This week J dropped a fucking bomb on me and asked me to contact his probation officer and tell him that he's been coming to every single meeting - WHICH HE HASN'T. My initial reaction was to be super pissed at him for even thinking about putting me in this position. Then I thought about it and talked it over with a close friend as well as my husband. I looked at it from every angle we could think of.

I decided that I would help him, but on my terms. My terms include him attending every single meeting, even if it's just the two of us; arriving on time, every time; and participating fully in the meetings. I was painfully honest and told him how I felt about him even asking me this. Well, he accepted my terms, thanked me, and apologized for our "relationship" (if you can call it that) getting off track.

Some of you will jump on me and say I've enabled him. Maybe that's true, to a degree. The reason I decided to do it was that it came down to one thing....I want to help him get back into solid recovery - to get "clean" again. I knew that if I didn't help him he'd never return to the meetings and might end up in jail. Either way, quite frankly he would get no help. This way at least I can try to help him, along with my other member. And if at any time in the future he fucks up, well, I can always contact his PO again and report his non-compliance then.

I'm fairly comfortable with my decision to do this. (I'm sleeping just fine, even though I lied to a state probation officer. LOL) HOWEVER, I'm not sure I did what is best for HIM. Obviously I'm not the be-all, end-all and not the only person in the world who can help him. But I'm in his life NOW and I have the opportunity to try and help him, so that's what I'm doing. I look at it this way, he's still coming and knows what I want, so maybe some small part of him wants to get his shit together again.

Anyhoo, I consider many of you my friends and I think I'm just looking for some support. Maybe even some advice on how best to try to reach him. Have any of you been in a position to try to help someone who was still using? How did it turn out? Are there any do's and don't's you would pass on to me?

Plus I think I just wanted to get all this out into the open. Rigorous honestly and all that. You guys are my accountability. I hope I didn't make a big mistake.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 60 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group