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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 3:00 am 
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I started suboxone 1 week ago, and just a few days ago found out I am pregnant.
I started subs because I had been an opiate addict for many years (pills) and have never gotten out of that frame of mind. It started out as back problems leading to a major surgery. When it became obvious that the pills were being abused, I was cut off. Unless I was pregnant, then My OB insists My pain be treated. My pain becomes so bad during pregnancy that it makes my blood pressure sky rocket and leads to other complications such as per eclampsia and growth restriction.
Well, not having any opiates over the last couple years since my youngest was born, I would do anything possible to get high and take away my pain. Marijuana, alcohol, when I could get my hands on pills I would, and eventually I started using meth. I got in legal trouble, and am on drug court now. Since being drug tested multiple times a week through probation and treatment, I have stayed clear of illegal substances and abused others. I would find ways to get high on over the counter meds, and my prescription meds- especially my nerve pain medication- lyrica. I have been so over this lifestyle. Its just a vicious cycle that takes me around and around and spiraling downward. My pain is unbearable though and I absolutely needed help and no one wants to help an addict with their pain.
I did a lot of research on different options for me. I had recently been through long term inpatient treatment, and this cycle started again shortly after getting out. I ended up coming clean to my drug court team and asking for help. There is a suboxone doctor at my hospital where I attend teeatment, and I got to see him soon after.
He put me on 14-16 mg of suboxone and I am feeling like a whole new person! I haven't felt so happy and healthy sjnce before I left home for college! 12 years ago! I am so extremely happy with my success already, after just a week on it. I can function, I'm motivated, I am not craving at all, and I'm thinking long term.
A couple of days ago I found out I am pregnant. I am terrified. My friend told me that she is pregnant and she is still on it, so I started looking into it. I am pretty happy with what I have found. I know there is a risk of NAS. Which there also is for oxycodone. And the lyrica is a lot worse for baby too. Since I have abused them both, I highly doubt drug court, or the doctors will want me on either of those.
I am very scared of two things. I'm scared of being on suboxone while pregnant because of the stigma and because of the withdrawals. But I am also scared that my sub doc will say...well, you've only been on them for a week, let's just take you off. If I get taken off and say I am able to be on the other pain meds, I am afraid of abusing them and hurting the baby. If I get taken off and am not allowed to be on anything, I am afraid my blood pressure will sky rocket the whole pregnancy again, and baby will grow super slow and stop growing all together, just like what happened the other 2 times. They were terrifying pregnancies. Still birth was spoken of a lot.
So I guess my main question is, do you think my sub doctor may try to take me off of them? I see him tomorrow afternoon, and my OB in the morning. I just want to arm myself with as much information as possible going in there.
Without the subs, even just looking at where I was a couple of weeks ago, I would not feel it's time for a baby at all. I am married to an amazing man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We have awesome families. But my state of mind and my health has not been where it should be for a very very long time and I feel like this is saving my life.
Thank you for reading! Please give your input, I would greatly appreciate it!
Lauren


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 9:44 am 
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Hey Lauren,
Welcome to the forum.
Ill try to answer some of your concerns. First off, try not to "What If" yourself into fear. Itll be ok.
Just believe that your two drs ,after your up front and honest with them, will be fine with your choise to be on drug replacement therapy.
Its working well for you. Your Drug Court seems fine with it too.

Ive known several women who stayed on Buprenorphine thoughout and there babies were fine. Are there some risks?, sure but those can be overcome over time.

Hopefully some of our female folks will be loug to help you too.

Let me suggest to you to go over to The Talkzone, Dr Junigs blog, and read what he has to say about this. You can also use tbe Search box at the top of the page too.

It ll be alright Lauren, glad you are here



Razor


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 10:46 am 
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I agree with razor, ur what if-ing urself into a panic. Try to just be completely honest about ur concerns and especially tell them how incredible suboxone has impacted ur life so far and u absolutely want and need to stay on it. I don't see any reason for them to take u off sub, they may switch u to subutex because ur pregnant, but it's basically the exact same thing just without the naloxone.

Please let us know how ur appointments went.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 3:58 pm 
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Thank you both for your replies! You are right, I am working myself into a panic, and probably over nothing. I got some negative feedback from a couple of the girls in drug court and treatment with me and i have gotten the impression they think I am just looking for excuses to stay on the subs and they think I am being selfish. I am trying not to let them get to me, but it's gotten hard.
So, the doctor that I saw this morning is actually my family doctor (new-ish to me, in a new area) and I was told that she was an OB when I made the appointment for medication management due to starting suboxone and pregnancy. She is actually just a family doctor and also delivers babies, but not an actual OBGYN. She had already known that I had recently been to inpatient treatment, and am currently in intensive outpatient. I have been totally honest with her. She came in and told me she was concerned about me being on suboxone, and when I explained to her the reasons, and my previous pregnancies, she agreed with me that this is a much better approach to the pregnancy. But that also she can not treat me because I am high risk and need to be seen by an actual OB. she referred me out to their group of OBs in the hospital, but they are the same group thst out my now 4 year old daughter's life at risk while I was pregnant with her, and refuse to see them. Which is ok, I have decided to see my high risk OB from my 2 previous pregnancies who knows my pregnancies inside and out. The only issue I have with that is that it is an hour away, and both labors were just about one hour long before delivery! But this doc is amazing, does ultrasounds every time, and is equally concerned about the baby and mother's health during pregnancy. I am pretty sure he will feel safe with me on subs, as he was comfortable enough with me on more dangerous meds than these. I called his nurse and told her everything, was completely honest with her. I had not been totally honest with him in the past. She was totally supportive and said "oh! If course that should be fine! I'm sure he will be totally fine with that, but let me talk to him and get back to you!" it seems like that was days ago (it was only hours.)
I see the sub doc in a little over an hour. He should be ok with whatever me and my OB are ok with right? I just worry because I've only been on them a week, maybe he will think oh it's safe to come off of them, just start back up after the birth.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 4:34 pm 
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Lauren,
Your Sub Dr Will NOT say or think at this point that you should go off sub now. Don't worry.

And as far as tthoses other "girls" are concerned, tell them to MIND THERE OWN BUSINESS. I have had it up to here with others telling people how to life there lives in recovery.

You are doing the right thing for you. Who cares what they think at this point.

They may not know much about opiate addiction, many people do not.

Good luck..

Razor


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 7:12 pm 
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Hi Lauren, CONGRATULATIONS! First, happy baby!!!! Second, trying so hard to turn your life around! It is not easy! AND, I am sure, much more difficult when expecting! I admire you and bet those girls were jealous! Try and take some deep breaths...relax....it will all work out! And, now you have this forum and us for support. I agree with Jenn completely, the doc will probably switch you to subutex as I have heard most pregnant women say that is what was done. Most importantly, you are not going to bring a child into this world who has a Mom that is using and therefore not there for him/her! Please, keep us informed as to how you are doing and what the doctors say.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 9:50 am 
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Thanks! You are right, I know there are a lot of jealousy issues going on with those girls. Treatment was horrible with them last night. They both kept glaring at me the whole group it almost brought me to tears. As soon as I got in my car, my phone started buzzing with constant hurtful text messages from them. More reaffirming that I am a bad and selfish mother, that I don't even need to be on suboxone in the first place (ok...cuz you're what? My doctor? She thinks this because I was not on opiates when I got on them. That my latest drug of choice was meth...which my drug of choice is always opiates, but I did whatever I could get my hands on. Whatever ,this is working for me!) and trying to turn their drama starting around onto me. I admit, I fed into it. When I heard about what the one girl was saying about me, I was sad which is exactly what she wanted. And I talked about it To a couple of people. But i have never dealt with such drama and childish games in my life, let alone started them.
It did not stop, only continued and got worse, so i let my drug court detective know what was going on. I normally would have felt like a bit of a tattle tell, but this has gotten out of hand and ridiculous. It is a hinder to my recovery, and I take my recovery seriously and I'm not going to allow anyone to effect it anymore. My detective is not a normal detective, he is very involved in our lives, and helps us all in every way he possibly can. He was furious. He said he would take care of it right away, and I don't know what he did exactly, but I got (fake) apologies soon after. One of the girls continued after that and apparently shes the only one I responded to just a couple of times. I guess the detective told them there would be consequences next Monday in drug court for what they are doing to me. Do you think I did the right thing? I know it would have only continued and even gotten worse, so I'm sure I did. They are being like middle school girls, so if tattling is what I have to do, it's what I have to do. Right?
Anyways, on to my appointment. Of course the doc was more than willing to keep me on it! He says he doesn't want me to taper down, nor go up. Which, eventually I think I will want to taper down anyways. He said that even after only a week on it, I still have a high chance of miscarrying. Which is another thing the drama girls are saying, is that I won't. Even after I told the one that our sub doc won't let me come off of it because of miscarriage. They must not trust their own sub doctor very much because they say that's not true. Oh well. I'm trying not to think about their words so much, and I know it probably sounds silly and like I put way too much thought into their BS, and I do. I'm so sensitive. And a worry wart.
Thanks for letting me vent! This seems like an amazing support community!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 12:02 pm 
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Hi Lauren, these "girls" sound just like that girls! Too young to know how to act like grown ups! So happy to hear about your Doctor's visit! Very happy! Do you think you could switch groups? And, can you just delete their texts before reading them? Too much negativity! Glad you are here! Enjoy your day!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 12:09 pm 
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Sadly enough, they are in their 30s! I can not switch groups, because it is a special drug court treatment group. I will try not to read the texts, or have them screened by my husband. But the detective wants me to save them for proof of their harassment. He will probably look at them soon and report to the judge. Hopefully since I got him involved this is the end of it! I'm trying very hard to not let it get to me, but like you said its just so much negativity that it's hard! I'm just trying to enjoy my kiddos today! We are doing some arts and crafts today. Tonight I will go to a womens meeting. Its my favorite one! Thank you for your kind words!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 12:43 pm 
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Good for you Lauren! Stay focused on the positive! Enjoy your day!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2016 3:24 pm 
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Like Michelle and Razor said, ignore those girls! I know that's easier said than done but ignoring them will really make them see that their words have no effect on u. I'm so sick of addicts judging other addicts, we're supposed to support and help one another. But some ppl are just bad ppl....even before addiction. Hold ur head up and ignore those girls :)

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