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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 1:51 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Short background on me and my addiction... first time i took a pain pill was when i was 18. I found a HUGE bottle of percosets in my friends mom's fridge. Took the whole bottle, not at once. Thought nothing of it, had no withdraws but knew i now found the "Drug of choice" I have never been a drinker or into hard core drugs. But those magic pills gave me energy and a great feeling. So i took vicodin and percaset on and off, whenever i was prescribed them or a friend gave them to me. Then i lost my daughter 9/30/06. No i was not taking any sort of medications while pregnant. She passed when i was almost 7 month pregnant with her. After i lost her i self medicated with pain meds, again not to the point of addiction. Then in 12/08 my fiance and father of my daughter and i split. I slipped into a deep depression. I looked for anything to make me feel better. This is when i actually sought out pills on the streets... again i was not addicted and could go days without them and not be sick. Then i met someone who introduced me to oxycontin. She gave me an 80mg pill, like an idiot i took the whole thing and was sick as a dog, swore i would never touch those again. I continued to buy percaset from her. Then she ran out and offered me another oxycontin, i said hell no, that thing made me so sick. She said well split it up. I agreed. Went home, split it into 8 pieces, took 1 piece and was happier than i had ever been in my life! Fast forward 6 months later, i ran out and had no $ to buy any. Was not feening just quit taking them. I woke up at 4am... i was having the worst anxiety attack in the world. My legs would not be still, i was sweating, throwing up... i had no idea what was wrong with me. I had my brother take me to the emergency room. They told me i was having withdraws. They gave me the typical meds and sent me home, telling me never to quit cold turkey again. I laid in bed for a week, sick as ever. Swore i would never touch them again. HA. AFter 2 weeks or so of no joy in life, no happiness, i made the call. I was back on them. Then 3 months later 1/2010 i got pregnant by my current fiance. I was not going to loose another baby so i weened my self off and a week later was clean. At my 6 week check up, i was being examed and started bleeding all over. Dr said i was having a miscarrige. Sent me home with 7.5 norcos and told me there was nothing they could do. I returned the next day to be sure everything had "passed" ... there was still a heart beat! I had lost one of 2 babies. So i stayed clean during my pregnancy... with a broken pubic bone and migraines! Except for the occasional hospital trip for pain, where they gave me dilaudid. My son was born 3 weeks early, healthy as horse. They sent me home with pain meds, and of course i took those, had no intentions of taking anything else since i was breast feeding. Then my milk dried up out of no where. So back to the oxy's.

Bottom line... i have now been taking oxys for 15 months straight... 80mg a day (except for the occasional day where i could not find any so i took anything else i could get... morphine, dilaudid, vicodin or percaset) I was fully functional, make an amazing living... new bmw, nice house and i fully support my non working fiance and son, who has everything in the world. So why quit right? Well other than the fact that the 900$ a month i am spending could go into a savings account for my son... i wake up in the morning and feel like i am dying. I cant get up before 10/11. When i do, the first thing i do is pop a pill so i can function. Its sad. So i went crying to my family dr. He sent me to a sub dr. He told me i had to be off oxy for 48 hours before i could take sub. I freaked out. Theres no way i could go that long. I would die. I would not be able to work. I would not be able to be around my son, being so sick. So he prescribed me 30 10mg vicodin. Told me to finish those, that way the oxy will be out of my system. Then 12 hours after i take my last one, start the sub. So i took my last vicodin an hour ago, start sub tomorrow. I am so scared. Tomo is x mas eve. I dont want to be sick.

My worries
will i be sick?
How can i enjoy anything in life without my oxy?
The dr said i would be on sub for at least 18months... but i wanted to get pregnant again when my son turns 2. I do not want to be on ANY meds while preg. Yes, i can wait. Yes i am on birth control, but WHAT IF i end up getting pregnant.... we all know birth control is not 100%
My dr said wait 12 hours until i dose... is that long enough? I dont want rapid withdraw... everything i have read says wait until you are withdrawing, but evermorning i wake with cramps, anxiety, tired... so isnt that withdraws?

I am so scared. I dont know how to enjoy life without my pills...
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:28 am 
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Im no expert, but I wanted to write something in case your sitting there scared to death..... =>

its okay......relax,,,, or at least try.
Im not saying it'll be easy,,, but itll be so worth it.
since youve been taking norco, I would imagine the switch from that t o sub,,, you shouldnt feel TOO much withdrawl,,,, you may actually feel better right away.
I went from methadone to sub,, and it was a little rough, but methadone stays in your system alot longer, I had to go 4 days..... just fyi

everyones body is different,,, but I would think 2 hrs after your first dose, all the w/d you are feeling SHOULD be gone. follow your docs instructions.....

I wish you the best of luck..... been 8 months for me. and taking oxy and methadone used to be my FAV thing to do in the world.
You will feel such a relief (monkey off your back) both physicaly and mentally when the sub starts working.
try not to stress, keep an open mind.
and KEEP POSTING so we know how your doing!!!!!!!
try to have a merry christmas....
also just so you know,,, I have a three yr old son,, and the story of your pregnancy and mine are alot alike. he was born healthy too,, but 4 wks early. I was perscribed percocets while preg with him. and soon as he was born,,, right back to the oxy and methadone. I also had two miscarriages that I know of, before i was preg with him

congrats on wanting to take the leap,,,, for you and your child...
Im telling you it will be EASIER than you THINK
and my second day on sub I actually felt better than I had in years.

Your in the right place.....
look forward to talking with you more.
good luck :wink:


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:54 am 
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Im not for sure and im sure others will know about this more than I do, but if you do end up getting pregnant im pretty sure thats the reason they have subutex....dont quote me on that but i remember reading that subutex was for pregnant women on suboxone. Im pretty sure someone else can fill us both in on that.

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 3:10 am 
When I would use oxy while on Sub (more than a year ago), I would wait 18 hours after my last dose of oxy before taking Sub, just to be safe.

However, I have dosed after 12 hours and not gone into precipitated withdrawals.

Don't have a baby while taking any kind of opiate medication. It is healthier to have a baby while not taking any narcotics. It makes me happy to hear you say you don't want to..and in fact, I feel a sense of anger toward people who purposely get pregnant while on Sub/methadone/opiates. How could you knowingly put a baby through withdrawal??

I wish you the best of luck. When I stopped using, I really wanted to use for the first few months (and in fact did on a few regrettable occasions). After about 6-8 months I got to the point where life had improved to the extent that for the first time in a couple of years, I had something to lose by going back to my old ways. You just gotta hang on till you reach that point. Sounds like you have a lot to live for already. Congratulations for making the choice to change your life.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 3:36 am 
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I was told I wasnt able to have kids....
6 yrs no birth control, married.
have a period like ONCE every 18 months.... and the doc did a preg test at a checkup. it was positive, and no baby. thats the only reason I even knew of a miscariage.
and I was PERSCRIBED percocets while pregnant, but I didnt take anything a week before my c section. so my son didnt go into withdrawl. but as soon as I had him my reason for not taking anything was gone.

I wasnt sure who you were reffering to
How could you knowingly put a baby into withdrawl????

Um, Im not sure you have enough background information to make a judgement.

No offense, Im just trying to clear things up.
I never thought Id actually have kids.
so my son is a true blessing, that im thankful for every day.

also my obgyn told me ONLY 30% of fertilized eggs make it to a full term baby.
most women miscarry multiple times without knowing it in thier lifetime.
just food for thought......

and I too have heard about the subutex for pregnant women,,, theres even a whole section on this forum about it.
I havent read that section too much. Im not on birth control now,, and havent had any type of a "cycle" since having my son.(three years) Obvously more kids are 'not in the cards for me'
So Im thankful for what I do have.
again, Im not looking for a bunch of angry posts....I was merely trying to clear things up, or provide more 'background information' on what happened with my situation.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 5:42 am 
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Ashybaby59 wrote:
[font=Comic Sans MS]
My worries
will i be sick?
How can i enjoy anything in life without my oxy?
The dr said i would be on sub for at least 18months... but i wanted to get pregnant again when my son turns 2. I do not want to be on ANY meds while preg. Yes, i can wait. Yes i am on birth control, but WHAT IF i end up getting pregnant.... we all know birth control is not 100%
My dr said wait 12 hours until i dose... is that long enough? I dont want rapid withdraw... everything i have read says wait until you are withdrawing, but evermorning i wake with cramps, anxiety, tired... so isnt that withdraws?

I am so scared. I dont know how to enjoy life without my pills...
[/font]


Hi and welcome!

I am going to try to answer your questions, but please remember I am not a doctor, just an experienced sub patient.

Will I be sick?
That all depends on how long you wait before you take your first sub. Oxy was also my drug of choice. I too was a daily user, but at a much higher dose. I went through a long period of oxy/sub/oxy/sub/oxy/sub.... so I consider myself somewhat of an expert at sub induction. Your main goal here is to not take the sub too early! Trust me when I say that precipitated withdrawal is the worst sickness you would ever feel.

To avoid the PW's, you must be in at least mild withdrawal from the vikes you are now taking. It is optimal to be in moderate-severe withdrawal, but I know not everyone (including me) can wait that long. If you are in doubt, I suggest you use the COWS scale - designed to measure the level of opiate withdrawal a person is in. Here is a link, along with some pretty good info regarding sub induction:

http://www.naabt.org/documents/NAABT_PrecipWD_HiRes.pdf

Do whatever it takes to hold off on that first sub, because once you take it, there is no going back. If you are truly in moderate - severe withdrawal, you should begin to feel relief in approximately 20 minutes after your first sub, with full effect coming in about an hour.

You did not mention if you have strips or pills or what dose your doctor told you to take. Opinions on this vary, but in my experience it is best to start with 2mg. After the initial 2mg, wait 1.5-2 hours and if you are still in withdrawal, repeat the process with another 2 mg. Sub is very strong. Some people jump right in by taking 8mg or more. Doing so has no advantages but definitely has downsides. Taking too much will cause your tolerance to skyrocket and invites sub side effects. Side effects are usually non existent at the lower doses. Not saying there won't be ANY, but any you do get will be very mild because of the low starting dose.

Anyway, once you feel like you are completely out of withdrawal, add up how much you took and that becomes your daily dose. If you get to the next day and that dose doesn't seem to be cutting it, you can increase it, but never by more than 2 mg!

Don't want to sound like a broken record, but waiting long enough before that first sub is CRUCIAL ! Now, if for some reason you can't wait and you are thrown into precipitated withdrawal, do not try to make it go away by taking more sub. That will only make matters worse. Dr. Junig has an excellent post on what to do if you find yourself in precipitated withdrawal.

http://suboxonetalkzone.com/precipitate ... -now-what/

How can i enjoy anything in life without my oxy?

Good question. What I am about to say is my opinion only! I'm not sure I would have chosen a holiday for a sub induction. For me, when I was able to avoid precipiated withdrawal, the worst part of getting back on sub was the depression and anxiety. I asked myself the exact same question! How am I supposed to enjoy anything without my oxy! It usually took me around a week to see any major improvements to my attitude. Even if I had no physical withdrawal symptoms, I would almost be in a state of panic over not having any oxy. The best way I dealt with this was to make sure it was a weekend, or to get a couple days off work, to just sit and vegetate with the TV with no kids or spouse to bother me.

That's how I handled it, but I realize everyone is different. You might find that staying busy is the best way to get over the mental part. You might not have ANY mental wd symptoms, but after 18 months of daily use I would expect some. Heck, oxy has been your best friend and now you are losing it's company. You just gotta remember why you're doing this and keep telling yourself it MUST be done.

What if I get pregnant?

Dr. Junig has written a few very good articles regarding preganancy and suboxone. Basically he said being on subonxe is much better than being on a full agonist.

http://suboxonetalkzone.com/category/pregnancy/


Please, if anything I've said goes against what your doctor told you to do, by all means follow your doctor's orders. What I described above is what always worked best for me, but no two people react to sub the same way. The one thing I can say with 100% certainty is DON'T TAKE THE FIRST DOSE TOO SOON!

I hope all goes well for you. Again welcome to the site - the members here are the kindest, most compassionate group of people you'll ever meet. No question is too 'out there'. If you experience something strange with sub, chances are someone here has experienced it too.

Congratulations! You've taken the first step on the road to recovery. You should be proud of yourself.

Merry Christmas!
Jimmy


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 11:15 am 
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Jimmy gave you excellent advice! I assume the doctor gave you some suboxone (or a rx) and you are inducing yourself at home? I hate when doctors do that! What the hell is the point of paying extra for the induction appt when they have you doing it yourself?? ACK that pisses me off.

Anyway, the only thing I'd do a bit differently from what Jimmy suggested is I would start out your very first dose of sub with 4 mg, as that's where the ceiling effect is at or around. (But I'm no doctor either, that's just my personal opinion.) Otherwise, I wouldn't touch a thing he said. And I'd absolutely make use of that COWS as a guide to identify when to start the suboxone. It's an excellent resource.

You should be just fine...Many people doing an induction from a simple short acting med like you are report feeling "normal" very quickly after taking suboxone. You should feel your physical symptoms of withdrawals subside rather quickly as well, depending on what dose you'll need.

Keep posting and we'll help you as much as we can. I wish you the best. :)

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 11:49 am 
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Hi and welcome! I think you will find the transition rather easy. I was on oxy and at a much higher dose than you, I waited 24 hours and within 20 minutes started feeling great, normal, like my old self.

Jimmy is right, the most important thing is to be in adequate withdrawl not so much a time frame. I waited 24 hours per Drs orders but think I would have been fine sooner. I too induced on my own at home and had no problems.

You are giving yourself and your son the best Christmas gift in the world, a sober mom. You may miss the pills in the beginning but for me it was a very easy adjustment and I feel better than I ever have! Don't worry it will turn out ok and you'll think back to this and wonder why you were do stressed about it. Your whole life with your son is waiting for you, you just have to get thru this hurdle.

Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year!


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 1:28 pm 
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I will write out a longer response to you in a few days. But right now I just want to tell you this:

You are going to be okay. Do you hear that? You will be fine. Will you feel perfect? Probably not. But you cannot die from withdrawal. You should tell your fiance to be prepared to help you and help take care of your child. Why?

Because right now you just have to focus on the moment. Try not to worry about the future, if you can enjoy life ever again (you can trust me), money etc etc. Just focus on yourself and getting through the first few days on Sub. Suboxone helps a lot, but you still have to put the work in. Believe it or not, those times that you have cleaned yourself up are going to come in very handy. You know you can get clean, you have done it before, just remember that.

Try not to worrry and take life on a day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute basis. Focus on taking those next steps towards becoming a better you. We do not change over night. Right now you are taking baby steps towards improving your life. You seem to have the commitment (which is THE most important thing IMO)... I think you will do well.

Best of luck and have a great Xmas/Hanukah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice/Whatever you celebrate.


Feel free to PM me if you need too. BTW, Your child is adorable!


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:36 pm 
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Thank yall for all of your responses. So i took my first dose 90m ago. I feel great. To be honest i feel just like i did when i took an oxy. I am warm and fuzzy, in a good mood and have energy. I waited 12 hours fromm the last pill to the time i took my first sub dose. The dr prescribed me 8mg strips. Told me to take 1/2 of one, see how i feel in an hour then if need be take the other half. I took the first half and feel fine. So i see no need to take the other half just yet. He also told me to take a full strip at night, if need be. I will try to take as little as possible. I did not know these would get me high though. Was not expecting this. Downfall... they make me want to smoke! I never smoked until i started taking pills, for some reason pills made me want a cigg. So i thought once i quit the pills i would quit smoking, since when i was sober i hated ciggs. But the sub makes me want to smoke just like the pills did. Another downfall... the taste. YUCK, the only flavor i hate in the world is orange. But i guess there is no way around that hu? They dont give you a flavor option?

In response, yes i had no problem quitting when i was pregnant.... because i was doing it for someone else. When it comes to my son, there is NOTHING i would not do for him. He is my life. He is the reason i am getting clean.

I will wait until i am off the sub's to try again for another child. I go back to the dr on 1/3/12... i plan on talking to him then about shortening the time i am on these. Hopefully from 18months to 12months.

Is there anything i can not take while on sub? Obviously not opiates but tylenol for pain should be ok right? What if i am having surgery... ive heard stories about people having surgery and waking up in the worst pain ever because the sub's did not allow them to feel what ever meds the dr gave them. Any insight?

Thanks again for all of your replies! I feel great and am ready for a new life!!

God bless, and Merry Christmas yall! I am SOOOOO happy to know i wont be sick on x mas


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 2:58 pm 
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The high feeling will pass after you stabilize and then you will feel just normal. It is common to catch a buzz early on but it does subside.

Yes tylenol and all otc pain meds are fine. Yes sub does cause a problem for treating acute pain. If you are having a plamned procedure there are steps that can be taken so you can get pain relief. There is a lot of good info in the surgery on sub section. I suggest reading it when you have time so if ever you need acute pain control you will know what you need to do.

It is also quite common to need more sub during your detox period, so if you start feeling bad or are having cravings it's ok to take more. The long term goal once stabilized is to find the lowest dose possible that keeps your cravings at bay. For some this 4mg for others 24mg, it is very individual. Good luck and Merry Christmas!


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 5:00 pm 
amber4.14.11 wrote:
I was told I wasnt able to have kids....
6 yrs no birth control, married.
have a period like ONCE every 18 months.... and the doc did a preg test at a checkup. it was positive, and no baby. thats the only reason I even knew of a miscariage.
and I was PERSCRIBED percocets while pregnant, but I didnt take anything a week before my c section. so my son didnt go into withdrawl. but as soon as I had him my reason for not taking anything was gone.

I wasnt sure who you were reffering to
How could you knowingly put a baby into withdrawl????

Um, Im not sure you have enough background information to make a judgement.

No offense, Im just trying to clear things up.
I never thought Id actually have kids.
so my son is a true blessing, that im thankful for every day.

also my obgyn told me ONLY 30% of fertilized eggs make it to a full term baby.
most women miscarry multiple times without knowing it in thier lifetime.
just food for thought......

and I too have heard about the subutex for pregnant women,,, theres even a whole section on this forum about it.
I havent read that section too much. Im not on birth control now,, and havent had any type of a "cycle" since having my son.(three years) Obvously more kids are 'not in the cards for me'
So Im thankful for what I do have.
again, Im not looking for a bunch of angry posts....I was merely trying to clear things up, or provide more 'background information' on what happened with my situation.


Uhm...I don't even know you, or know anything about you besides that you take Suboxone (which I infer from you being here on this forum).

I was talking about people who purposely get pregnant while using opiates, including Suboxone. That doesn't sound like your situation. I wasn't even talking about anyone specific. I just see a bunch of posts on a couple forums all the time about CPS checking on babies that were born testing positive for Suboxone (read:opiates). It irritates me that people are angry because a doctor is concerned about that. I am NOT saying that these people deserve to have their children taken away, just that I can see why the medical staff thinks it may be worth a short inquiry..and it bugs me that the mothers are busy being all indignant that they have to talk to CPS and not at all saying anything like "I regret putting my baby through this." and my other favorite "It isn't withdrawals; he just won't stop crying no matter what because he is a newborn" (who happened to test positive for opiates).

Again, this applies to people who PURPOSELY get pregnant (or don't use birth control), NOT people who use birth control and happen to be one of the rare few who get pregnant anyway. That would be an unforeseeable situation.

Again, it doesn't sound like you purposely got pregnant, and I wasn't speaking about anyone specifically. So I am not really sure what I said to elicit such a strong response from you in particular.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 5:07 pm 
If you feel high from any dose besides the induction dose, your dose may be too high.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 3:24 am 
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Ironic,
Im sorry,,,, I just wasnt sure who/what you were actually refering to........ No biggie
and I dont know, cant figure out how to paste on the stuff someone already wrote, when I try to do it,,, its a disaster. lol

On another note, I do understand what your talking about......
it DOES irritate me as well,, just ppl getting pregnant and not giving a fuck in general pisses me off. especially once the kid is born,,,,, if they knew, how much SOME ppl WISHED, prayed,counted days, planned calenders, spent tons of money on just plain TRYING to get pregnant,,,, maybe they wouldnt take it for granted.
I was actually going to buy a baby from a girl that got pregnant, she was on cocaine, and didnt want the baby, but too far along to abort. Yah, I said it, buy a baby from a junkie.....but,,,, got pregnant with my son, got sidetracked and lost contact.
thats how much some people would give anything they had to experience a child.

Just sayin'

ANYWAYS,,,,,, merry christmas everyone,
'santa' was just here, and theres presents under the tree. I think im more excited than my 3 year old!!!!!! lol

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 3:27 am 
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AshyBaby59

see, told ya you'd feel better,,,,, lol

keep up the good work,,,, there will be work.
dont let your addiction sneak up on you

and have a merry christmas!!!!!!!

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anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 4:32 am 
Amber, I truly am glad you didn't need to buy a baby.

Merry xmas!


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 5:26 am 
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Short background on me and my addiction... first time i took a pain pill was when i was 18. I found a HUGE bottle of percosets in my friends mom's fridge. Took the whole bottle, not at once. Thought nothing of it, had no withdraws but knew i now found the "Drug of choice" I have never been a drinker or into hard core drugs. But those magic pills gave me energy and a great feeling. So i took vicodin and percaset on and off, whenever i was prescribed them or a friend gave them to me. Then i lost my daughter 9/30/06. No i was not taking any sort of medications while pregnant. She passed when i was almost 7 month pregnant with her. After i lost her i self medicated with pain meds, again not to the point of addiction. Then in 12/08 my fiance and father of my daughter and i split. I slipped into a deep depression. I looked for anything to make me feel better. This is when i actually sought out pills on the streets... again i was not addicted and could go days without them and not be sick. Then i met someone who introduced me to oxycontin. She gave me an 80mg pill, like an idiot i took the whole thing and was sick as a dog, swore i would never touch those again. I continued to buy percaset from her. Then she ran out and offered me another oxycontin, i said hell no, that thing made me so sick. She said well split it up. I agreed. Went home, split it into 8 pieces, took 1 piece and was happier than i had ever been in my life! Fast forward 6 months later, i ran out and had no $ to buy any. Was not feening just quit taking them. I woke up at 4am... i was having the worst anxiety attack in the world. My legs would not be still, i was sweating, throwing up... i had no idea what was wrong with me. I had my brother take me to the emergency room. They told me i was having withdraws. They gave me the typical meds and sent me home, telling me never to quit cold turkey again. I laid in bed for a week, sick as ever. Swore i would never touch them again. HA. AFter 2 weeks or so of no joy in life, no happiness, i made the call. I was back on them. Then 3 months later 1/2010 i got pregnant by my current fiance. I was not going to loose another baby so i weened my self off and a week later was clean. At my 6 week check up, i was being examed and started bleeding all over. Dr said i was having a miscarrige. Sent me home with 7.5 norcos and told me there was nothing they could do. I returned the next day to be sure everything had "passed" ... there was still a heart beat! I had lost one of 2 babies. So i stayed clean during my pregnancy... with a broken pubic bone and migraines! Except for the occasional hospital trip for pain, where they gave me dilaudid. My son was born 3 weeks early, healthy as horse. They sent me home with pain meds, and of course i took those, had no intentions of taking anything else since i was breast feeding. Then my milk dried up out of no where. So back to the oxy's.

Bottom line... i have now been taking oxys for 15 months straight... 80mg a day (except for the occasional day where i could not find any so i took anything else i could get... morphine, dilaudid, vicodin or percaset) I was fully functional, make an amazing living... new bmw, nice house and i fully support my non working fiance and son, who has everything in the world. So why quit right? Well other than the fact that the 900$ a month i am spending could go into a savings account for my son... i wake up in the morning and feel like i am dying. I cant get up before 10/11. When i do, the first thing i do is pop a pill so i can function. Its sad. So i went crying to my family dr. He sent me to a sub dr. He told me i had to be off oxy for 48 hours before i could take sub. I freaked out. Theres no way i could go that long. I would die. I would not be able to work. I would not be able to be around my son, being so sick. So he prescribed me 30 10mg vicodin. Told me to finish those, that way the oxy will be out of my system. Then 12 hours after i take my last one, start the sub. So i took my last vicodin an hour ago, start sub tomorrow. I am so scared. Tomo is x mas eve. I dont want to be sick.

My worries
will i be sick?
How can i enjoy anything in life without my oxy?
The dr said i would be on sub for at least 18months... but i wanted to get pregnant again when my son turns 2. I do not want to be on ANY meds while preg. Yes, i can wait. Yes i am on birth control, but WHAT IF i end up getting pregnant.... we all know birth control is not 100%
My dr said wait 12 hours until i dose... is that long enough? I dont want rapid withdraw... everything i have read says wait until you are withdrawing, but evermorning i wake with cramps, anxiety, tired... so isnt that withdraws?

I am so scared. I dont know how to enjoy life without my pills...


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 5:40 am 
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indigochild wrote:
Short background on me and my addiction... first time i took a pain pill was when i was 18. I found a HUGE bottle of percosets in my friends mom's fridge. Took the whole bottle, not at once. Thought nothing of it, had no withdraws but knew i now found the "Drug of choice" I have never been a drinker or into hard core drugs. But those magic pills gave me energy and a great feeling. So i took vicodin and percaset on and off, whenever i was prescribed them or a friend gave them to me. Then i lost my daughter 9/30/06. No i was not taking any sort of medications while pregnant. She passed when i was almost 7 month pregnant with her. After i lost her i self medicated with pain meds, again not to the point of addiction. Then in 12/08 my fiance and father of my daughter and i split. I slipped into a deep depression. I looked for anything to make me feel better. This is when i actually sought out pills on the streets... again i was not addicted and could go days without them and not be sick. Then i met someone who introduced me to oxycontin. She gave me an 80mg pill, like an idiot i took the whole thing and was sick as a dog, swore i would never touch those again. I continued to buy percaset from her. Then she ran out and offered me another oxycontin, i said hell no, that thing made me so sick. She said well split it up. I agreed. Went home, split it into 8 pieces, took 1 piece and was happier than i had ever been in my life! Fast forward 6 months later, i ran out and had no $ to buy any. Was not feening just quit taking them. I woke up at 4am... i was having the worst anxiety attack in the world. My legs would not be still, i was sweating, throwing up... i had no idea what was wrong with me. I had my brother take me to the emergency room. They told me i was having withdraws. They gave me the typical meds and sent me home, telling me never to quit cold turkey again. I laid in bed for a week, sick as ever. Swore i would never touch them again. HA. AFter 2 weeks or so of no joy in life, no happiness, i made the call. I was back on them. Then 3 months later 1/2010 i got pregnant by my current fiance. I was not going to loose another baby so i weened my self off and a week later was clean. At my 6 week check up, i was being examed and started bleeding all over. Dr said i was having a miscarrige. Sent me home with 7.5 norcos and told me there was nothing they could do. I returned the next day to be sure everything had "passed" ... there was still a heart beat! I had lost one of 2 babies. So i stayed clean during my pregnancy... with a broken pubic bone and migraines! Except for the occasional hospital trip for pain, where they gave me dilaudid. My son was born 3 weeks early, healthy as horse. They sent me home with pain meds, and of course i took those, had no intentions of taking anything else since i was breast feeding. Then my milk dried up out of no where. So back to the oxy's.

Bottom line... i have now been taking oxys for 15 months straight... 80mg a day (except for the occasional day where i could not find any so i took anything else i could get... morphine, dilaudid, vicodin or percaset) I was fully functional, make an amazing living... new bmw, nice house and i fully support my non working fiance and son, who has everything in the world. So why quit right? Well other than the fact that the 900$ a month i am spending could go into a savings account for my son... i wake up in the morning and feel like i am dying. I cant get up before 10/11. When i do, the first thing i do is pop a pill so i can function. Its sad. So i went crying to my family dr. He sent me to a sub dr. He told me i had to be off oxy for 48 hours before i could take sub. I freaked out. Theres no way i could go that long. I would die. I would not be able to work. I would not be able to be around my son, being so sick. So he prescribed me 30 10mg vicodin. Told me to finish those, that way the oxy will be out of my system. Then 12 hours after i take my last one, start the sub. So i took my last vicodin an hour ago, start sub tomorrow. I am so scared. Tomo is x mas eve. I dont want to be sick.

My worries
will i be sick?
How can i enjoy anything in life without my oxy?
The dr said i would be on sub for at least 18months... but i wanted to get pregnant again when my son turns 2. I do not want to be on ANY meds while preg. Yes, i can wait. Yes i am on birth control, but WHAT IF i end up getting pregnant.... we all know birth control is not 100%
My dr said wait 12 hours until i dose... is that long enough? I dont want rapid withdraw... everything i have read says wait until you are withdrawing, but evermorning i wake with cramps, anxiety, tired... so isnt that withdraws?

I am so scared. I dont know how to enjoy life without my pills...


WOW, touching story..your story is typical conundrum of addiction and that same vicious cycle. I think we all know the feeling. you sound determined, good luck, merry x - mas:)


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 Post subject: i can't stand
PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2011 6:00 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:38 am
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when people get high on their subs/methadone dose. I know people say it levels out, yada yada....but in a few personal cases I dealt with; they still get a little high. The norm are vicoden or very weak opioids useres- hey, they have a right too; just like a hard- core heroin addict. I think (personal opinion) if one gets stoned off initial dose and is a soccer-mom takin norcos= their dose should be monitered more closely than the heroin addict with track marks( not referring to anyone in this thread, so don't get a hissy breezy_ann). I hate hearing about people getting high when I can't- It's a wonderful thing to get clean for a son, daughter, or family member, but ultimitly it needs to be for the addict


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 12:02 am 
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I told the doctor specifically what i was taking and how much. I was not addicted to norco, to be clear. I was addicted to oxycontin, the dr gave me the norco to get the oxy out of my system so i could start the sub. He told me the amount of sub to take. I have yet to take as much as he told me, i took 1/2 the dose and once i saw it kept me from being sick, then i took it upon my self to keep it at the lower dose, why take more if i dont need it. I DO NOT take it to get high, i was just explaining the way i felt. No i dont have track marks, but i honestly dont think that makes a difference, addiction is addiction no matter how you look at it. Yes some drugs are "worse" than others, but either way if your life revolves around a drug, and it is effecting everything around you, then you need to get clean. I had a problem, and this was my way out of it. I knew nothing about Suboxone, i did not go into the office asking for it. I went to my long time family doctor for help, he referred me to this doctor and this is what they gave me. I certainly am no soccer mom, i lived a fast life before i got pregnant. I thought this was a place to seek help from more experienced sub users, a place to talk about our experiences, a place to help each other get through it. But it seems like there is a lot of judging going on (this kind of addiction is worse than yours or whatever), maybe even people looking down there noses at others. I came here solely to seek advice, talk about my problems and hear about others struggles and over comings. Did not want to be judged or start any fuss.

And yes, i am getting clean for my son... because if he was not here i would not care about myself enough to get clean. But i have to be healthy for him, so he is my motivation to do it.

As far as my story goes. The first day i dosed, i did feel high. Again the dr said take 1/2 a strip then an hour later take the other half. But an hour later i felt fine, so saw no need to take any more. He also said to take a full strip at night, i again took 1/2 and was fine. But i woke up the next morning feeling as if i had a hangover. Is this normal? Maybe it had to do with the fact that i was up until 3am wrapping christmas presents, i dont know. Since then it has "Evened" out if you will. I dont get a high feeling, i do have energy and feel normal. Maybe a little better than normal, my house is so clean and i have organized everything. I dont know what it feels like to be "normal" it has been so long. I did not know how to feel happy without my pills. Now it's like a new me, a light at the end of the tunnel. I can do this. I am so excited.

I will wait until i am off to get pregnant, thats for sure. I am going to the dr for my yearly and to get the refil of birthcontrol, until then no playing lol. Better safe than sorry, i am not for abortion (i dont judge those who agree with it... just after loosing a baby i could never do it) My husband stands behind me 100%. Plus there other "games" we can play until then.

Feels like i am coming down with a cold now too. My throat is killing me. Funny, while i was on the pills i never got sick, maybe the pain was just always masked. Sad. It's gonna really suck if 1 day years from now i get hurt or have surgery, i will be to scared to take anything for pain, affraid of what it may do.

Thanks for all the helpful replies. It means alot.


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