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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 2:09 am 
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Ashybaby, welcome glad you got help and out of active addition.
This is a good site with good info but you do have some that have a smart ass comment every now and then. I guess some here just like conflict and debate. I have enough going on in my world don't need to add to the drama here. I like you come for information and insight on my recovery.
So again welcome and looking forward to hearing about your progress.

Oh!!! Just wanted to say that you will have lots of different emotions starting subs. I'm in my 4th month and have had many. So this is a great place to have to discuss them.
GoodLuck
Mel :wink:

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:59 am 
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I just wanted to give my opinion on the statement that when it comes to addiction that some drugs are "worse than others".

I disagree with this statement. It sounds like saying that some addicts are worse than others. An addict is an addict, whether they are hooked on vicodin or heroin. No addict is WORSE than another. But that's just my opinion.

Ashybaby59-

How are you feeling these days? Is that initial "high" feeling worn off yet? What is your daily dosage at now? Keep us posted on how you are feeling. I hope your treatment is going well so far.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:17 am 
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Indigo, I disagreed with one comment you made saying a member was being dramatic. I was posting my perspective as a member. I did not moderate your post and now because of expressing my view you have more than once added things like this to your post:

( not referring to anyone in this thread, so don't get a hissy breezy_ann)

How expressing my view to a member gets translated into having a hissy fit is beyond me. How is me posting my opinion any different than your post? Is it because it say's moderator after my name?


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 12:20 am 
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Breezyann, I guess moderator after your name puts you in a position to protect the new and vulnerable posters. I personally want to thank you as I am the dramatic one and yes; it almost made me not return to this site. Had you not posted your short, brief to the point opinion in a ways of "getting my back" I would have left this forum not to return. I know with a couple of years of MMT, I personally should be a little tougher skinned than I am, but posting my feelings and even more so my muck ups in a way bears my soul to help me and any other recovering addict that might can relate etc...So when I am met with opposition, sarcasm, personal attacks and/or judgments, I feel somewhat violated sort of like being naked in front of people and feeling fat and ugly all of a sudden to being told the I am fat and ugly. Just a comparison so as to best show how deep it can cut and then you add to some of the new people the very fact they are in withdrawals or taking the leap of faith it and afraid, it can be dangerous for someone new in recovery. I would think all who a part of this forum and all that have reaped the rewards (received support and information) of being a part of this forum might take a great interest in the new person and make them feel welcome and get acclimated before they confront and/or oppose them. Life on life's terms is hard enough out here when we turn to other addicts in any forum etc... We should not have to worry about being judged or met with harsh words. Unless someone new is hitting the floor of this forum with rudeness and opposition themselves. I have backtracked and read alot of the old to newer post on this site and I find the same ones to be the offenders. In the same breathe though and in all fairness I have read some wonderful and supportive post by these offenders too so I feel everyone on this site to be a benefit. Some people have flight and some people have fight in the beginning of their recovery and anyone new in recovery and even just new to this forum should be handled carefully at first I feel.

Ashbaby55 I am so glad you have come aboard and I see you have the fight mode in you so I will not worry so much that you won't return to this site I am saying a special prayer for you to get through the induction phase and just think You don't have to live chasing that dragon anymore if you want recovery. I am real interested in how things are moving along for you so keep posting and letting us know and ask all the questions you want or can cause someone will have the answer you need and you might have helped someone else that didn't ask or know.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 2:26 am 
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Well Said finallyachance

If I could give you a 'high five' I would

And

HAPPY NEW YEAR to everybody

hope your doing well,, AshyBaby

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 8:46 pm 
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my only issue here (other then the incessant immature bickering) is that you are on to high of a dose. if you are still getting high and getting the same feeling you had when you were in active addiction, then you are not really recovering and relapse to OXy is inevitable. you need to make sure you either stabilize or reduce your dose so that you feel normal and so that you can deal with real emotions and reality ---whether it be good or bad. recovery is awesome but it isnt all rainbows and butterflies. there will be days that you will crave and thast you will really have to work on yourself to stay sober.......you need to get a good support system in place and either go to counseling or meetings becuase without actually working some kind of program, then you are not really recovering. this is especially important in the beginnig stages of recovery. hope you are doing well. excuse the typos i dont feel like correcting anything


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 11:02 pm 
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I think the post where you spoke of feeling a bit high was your very first dose and well alot can play into that. But...I will only go into the real probable. Sometimes early in induction and before we are stabilized a warm and fuzzy feeling might visit us. It might be psychosomatic or it can be the breakdown in our bodies nonetheless that will all level out after a few more doses and that "warm and fuzzy" feelin is gone forever. IMO it's not because your dose it too high etc... on day one I think that perspective is pre-mature.
Another possible probable might be that normal feels high to you at that moment you realize you are not bent over the trash can sitting on the toilet sick. That in itself can produce a "high". As addicts we tend to believe we are going to be that one client it isn't going to work right for. Oh we don't want to think the worse, but we seem to. So when we find OMG this worked I feel great, I can't believe it, I'm not sick oh WOW Cool. Well that can give you a "warm and fuzzy" feeling right there making normal mixed with gratitude feel high.
Like I said there is a lot of different possibilities in your first dose giving you a "warm and fuzzy" feel. I only listed a couple because I myself can relate to your post and I feel the common likeness puts me in a position to tell you that I too have felt early induction fuzzies and I believe it was all a part of the surreal feelings that finallyachance (pun) to feel normal can feel as good as a high in itself. Keep it up ashbaby you are right around the bend. It's time you post an update. :D

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 10:03 am 
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Hello Board !

I am on day 3 of Suboxone and I can relate to the "warm and fuzzy" feeling being talked about here. I think someone commented that it could be the difference of being sick and feeling "normal". That's exactly as I would explain it.

My story is like so many others. After back surgery and even a year or more prior to surgery I abused pain killers. It went from bad to worse as I went from Doctor to Doctor untill I finally found the pills wouldnt even cut it anymore. I crushed them, I snorted them, I even resorted to heroine because I couldnt find any pills. Sadly, heroine is easily and readily available when pills are not.

But today as I sit here (and not on the couch in front of the TV, stoned) I am feeling very excited that I can finally say, I havent had a pain pill in 3 days and I'm not huddled in a fetal position crying !!!!!!

Yes, it's going to be a great day !!!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 11:11 am 
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Congrats and welcome Lindy! I am glad you had a successful induction and are starting 2012 sober, it's a great feeling! I suggest reading everything you can on the forum, it is full of valuable information. I hope you stick around and find the support and comfort you need here. This forum has been invaluable in my recovery. Again welcome and I look forward to getting to know you better (if you so choose).


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 Post subject: Re: i can't stand
PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 12:56 pm 
indigochild wrote:
when people get high on their subs/methadone dose. I know people say it levels out, yada yada....but in a few personal cases I dealt with; they still get a little high. The norm are vicoden or very weak opioids useres- hey, they have a right too; just like a hard- core heroin addict. I think (personal opinion) if one gets stoned off initial dose and is a soccer-mom takin norcos= their dose should be monitered more closely than the heroin addict with track marks( not referring to anyone in this thread, so don't get a hissy breezy_ann). I hate hearing about people getting high when I can't- It's a wonderful thing to get clean for a son, daughter, or family member, but ultimitly it needs to be for the addict


+1. Agreed.

I also think docs putting those 50 mg of Vicodin/day soccer moms on Sub should have the shit sued out of them.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 1:38 pm 
finallyachance wrote:
Breezyann, I guess moderator after your name puts you in a position to protect the new and vulnerable posters. I personally want to thank you as I am the dramatic one and yes; it almost made me not return to this site. Had you not posted your short, brief to the point opinion in a ways of "getting my back" I would have left this forum not to return. I know with a couple of years of MMT, I personally should be a little tougher skinned than I am, but posting my feelings and even more so my muck ups in a way bears my soul to help me and any other recovering addict that might can relate etc...So when I am met with opposition, sarcasm, personal attacks and/or judgments, I feel somewhat violated sort of like being naked in front of people and feeling fat and ugly all of a sudden to being told the I am fat and ugly. Just a comparison so as to best show how deep it can cut and then you add to some of the new people the very fact they are in withdrawals or taking the leap of faith it and afraid, it can be dangerous for someone new in recovery. I would think all who a part of this forum and all that have reaped the rewards (received support and information) of being a part of this forum might take a great interest in the new person and make them feel welcome and get acclimated before they confront and/or oppose them. Life on life's terms is hard enough out here when we turn to other addicts in any forum etc... We should not have to worry about being judged or met with harsh words. Unless someone new is hitting the floor of this forum with rudeness and opposition themselves. I have backtracked and read alot of the old to newer post on this site and I find the same ones to be the offenders. In the same breathe though and in all fairness I have read some wonderful and supportive post by these offenders too so I feel everyone on this site to be a benefit. Some
people have flight and some people have fight in the beginning of their recovery and anyone new in recovery and even just new to this forum should be handled carefully at first I feel.


I am sorry you feel judged and scared to discuss your feelings. That's one of the reasons this forum is anonymous, it isn't something we wanna share with everyone.

Do you think that sometimes although you may feel judged by someone here, it is not their intent to do so? This subject matter elicits emotional responses from all involved. One of the things I hated about NA was the way they lumped all addicts together, but I do agree that many of us have a special kind of disdain for criticism. Sometimes, the truth hurts, but it's important to hear. Now, I'm not talking about someone judging your emotions, because humans should be free to feel how they do. I'm talking actions.

When we come on here..well, it's called a "forum" for a reason. We often come on here to ask others about their opinions on something they are doing. When you ask, especially in an anonymous setting like this one, you should expect to hear strong responses. However, I'll repeat that there is a difference between expressing opinions and verbally abusing someone for feeling differently than someone else.

I guess what I'm saying is that I personally believe in putting the truth first in this type of situation. This stuff is serious..if someone is doing something harmful, it is important to let them know that, even if it may hurt their feelings.

Also, re: the Vicodin comments. It isn't that some drugs are worse than others, it's just that Sub is stronger than Vicodin the majority of the time (I mean if you're taking 300 mg of Vicodin a day that is something else). Hydrocodone is only 2/3 as strong as oxycodone. Since Sub is stronger than vicodin, you are actually addicting your body to more opioids than you were in the beginning, which isn't really the point of maintenance. Plus, Vic w/d is easier to deal with than Sub.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 6:25 pm 
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My second time I posted I was more or less accused of lying because my clinic had never told me that I better not take suboxone if I ever missed my methadone appt and I did and ended up in the hospital. I was told that this person found it very hard to believe my story. I’m not including it in the enumerated below because at least this person responded back with an apology that he came off like he did. But without any apology I have been told by one particular poster the following Quoted Statements:

1. "but, it sounds like you're very dramatic....if u r sooooo worried about what could happen in the future- taper of methadone and get on duragesic or something....that is if you suffer from chronic pain...i lost track reading your book"
This was I guess because my post was a story where I had took the suboxone when I missed the methadone clinic hours and it was going to be closed for 4 days and I freaked. So it was precipitated withdrawals. So I gather it must have been too lengthy and too dramatic for the same reader that offends me on almost every post I make. These comments are not "ask for" it's not like he/she is offering anything beneficial to me or anyone that reads it. I can take a difference of opinion etc... But this is the whole post just not a sentence or two out of a post.

2. "google the question u asked me, i ain't no bodys beeeotch "
This comment is also because after he/she corrected me in methadone not being a blocker in one post I trying to make friends/peace with this person ask if he/she could tell me their take on something, thinking maybe if I try to ask for his/her advice on something maybe I could put a bonding moment wherein he/she would not offend me all the time. NOT apparently possible I guess I did try though.

3. "you a man or a woman...sir, you have me so confused...after reading 10 minuts of that stuff, I can't decipher shit. I wish I had that ten minuts of my life back.............is this Tonya Baldwin AND finallyachance?"
This comment was in response to my introduction story of how I became a MMT Client. Once again I guess it was too lengthy (book) and a real regret of wasted ten minutes of someone’s life etc....

On all three responses it was their entire comment. Not an excerpt. Not telling me where the difference of opinion might be or what maybe I must have done or said that became offensive to them etc...Except that there is this inclination that my stories are too long or too dramatic. Which I find that to be a ridiculous reason to be offended by me. Even if I were not the new kid on the block it is offensive

Now to answer your questions/comments:

1. Do you think that sometimes although you may feel judged by someone here, it is not their intent to do so?
ANSWER: I am really convinced from the above offenses which is not even all the ones I could bring up but these are just off the top of my head that yes maybe I am not being judged in all, (some I am) but as evidenced above this person does intend to insult me.

2. But I do agree that many of us have a special kind of disdain for criticism. Sometimes, the truth hurts, but it's important to hear
ANSWER: I can admit I do have a disdain for criticism and yes the truth hurts sometimes and is important to hear, but these are not criticisms about my opinions and or beliefs about recovery or life etc..and Unless there is some kind of unspoken/undocumented rule to forum posting to keep your post to a certain length and no dramatizations I do not feel I need or it’s important to hear or share about my post or any post being too dramatic sharing a very important scary point in my recovery process. In your defense though like I admitted above it is hard to swallow the truth and criticism if it is a necessary moment in criticizing someone’s post.

3. I'll repeat that there is a difference between expressing opinions and verbally abusing someone for feeling differently than someone else.
ANSWER: these comments were not expressing any difference of opinion or feeling different than someone else. I even ask in a separate post if I was saying things in my post that was offensive or personal etc..Apologized if I had been out of line somewhere that I was unaware of. Invited he/she to say what exactly I was saying or doing wrong. No response.

4. I guess what I'm saying is that I personally believe in putting the truth first in this type of situation. This stuff is serious..if someone is doing something harmful, it is important to let them know that, even if it may hurt their feelings.
ANSWER: What was so important in telling me my post was dramatic, too long, a waste of ten minutes to the point of regret and asking a question made someone my BEEOOTCH so important to let me know “the truth” even if it hurt my feelings?


The vicodan thingy well I am not sure what I have to do with that point except maybe I ran to someone’s rescue that the same offensive person had insulted too. I myself never used vicodan, but I never shot dope either so I fit I guess somewhere in between of severity levels and such. (I would have shot dope but I have a condition with my veins that not even a well seasoned pediatric nurse can get blood before 6 to 7 tries.) My drug of choice and method of use was snorting 100 to 200 mgs of Oxymorophone (Opanas) a day.

Now with this all being said and I have shown how dramatic and long winded I really am :oops: I want you to please know I meant no offense to you. I read your post a lot and I get a lot from what you have to say. You are truly a benefit to this forum. And in all honesty I could and can take criticism from you if it were to have a point behind it. All those offenses from the very above part of this post were pointless. Once again Please know I was just making sure you knew for sure why I had felt offended and if you still believe that I was being hypersensitive (which I can be) and I had over reacted my feelings of being offended then please accept my apology if you think I am being rude or oppositional in me breaking it down because I am not meaning to just as you state is done sometimes. Like I said before I respect your opinions/post so no offense meant towards you. :wink:

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 10:02 pm 
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finallyachance....
I dont know who said that stuff to you,,,,
but you didnt deserve that. i would feel attacked, and offended...

thanks for sticking around....I dont think your too dramatic, or a waste of time


I just had to say that.
I got a real bad irritation with 'bullies' these days. I guess becuase my stepdad's a bully,

I wouldnt have felt right to not write something on this post

thanks for YOUR time

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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