It is currently Fri Aug 18, 2017 5:55 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 8:17 am 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2010 7:52 am
Posts: 2
I have decided that I want off of suboxone, and today is the start to day 4. I haven't been to any doctors, I have been buying suboxone. I first started abusing percocets/vicodin 5-7.5mgs. Then progressed to Perc 15's or 30's. Finally I was introduced to Oxycontin and I was blowing between 1 and 2 a day for about a year.

When I finally heard about suboxone i couldnt wait to start, and it really was a miracle, it completely helped, I never put a whole one under my tongue, I started with a quarter, and then very slowly turned to small slivers. I assumed that it was just my clutch and that I would be fine without it since i was taking such small doses. I was VERY wrong.

The first day was fine, I kept myself busy and I slept fine that night.
Day two I was exhausted most of the day but nothing too major, But that night I slept maybe for about 3 hrs on and off, and just couldnt get comfortable and It was pretty bad.
Yesterday I just tried to keep myself busy, drank alot of caffeine, but i was sneezing alot, and having diarreah.
Last night I took an Ambien and slept for an hour, and then took another and slept for about 4 hours on and off, still with restless legs.

I am not prescribed Ambien, I just bought it from a friend. I am trying really hard to do this myself, I dont want to go to a DR. because I am scared what my family will say. They didnt even know I was taking subs.

Compared to what I have been reading online, I dont think my symptoms are that bad, I am still able to force myself out of bed, and try my best to function.

I am thinking about buying some xanax but i dont know if that will help.

I just want to feel normal again, like i used too. I forgot what normal feels like.

Another note: While Taking suboxone i had quite a few relapses with OC, but then went back on. I feel more then ready to quit, I honestly had NO idea that I would experience withdrawels after taking such little suboxone.

I really just want some feedback on when I will be able to sleep a full night sleep, when I will be back to my old normal self, and if taking the Ambien and the xanax is a bad idea or not.

I am starting a new job tomorrow, and am hoping it will go well. As for now I am going to get out of my bed, grab a coffee and try to enjoy this nice day, but I am scared about tonight, and if I will be able to sleep.

I hope this lasts only a few more days. :(


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 8:25 am 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2010 3:32 pm
Posts: 228
So, at what dose did you jump off at? Since you are on day four it seems to me you are doing ok. that's great. I'm sure you don't feel great but I think you are right at that hump right now so if you can keep pushing on you can do it. However, I'm afraid you may relapse. Do you think you will? I think your family would rather you be seeing a dr than trying to deal with this serious disease of addiction on your own. so, I guess you have two options, push through it on your own, or go see a dr, get back on sub, be stable on it and get some counseling that so when you do come off, you aren't at risk for relapse. Sorry, my thoughts are kinda jumbled..... but I'm wishing you the best of luck.

_________________
Laura

Of course there's such a thing as angels. Only sometimes they don't have wings... and we call them mothers. -Unknown


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 8:56 am 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2010 7:52 am
Posts: 2
Thanks for responding, I dont think I will, I have been through all the highs and the lows, and at this point I just want everything back in order, I just want to SLEEP!! I dont want to take suboxone anymore because after seeing what the past couple of nights have been, I dont ever want to go through that again. I'm sure its way better the Oxycontin withdrawels, and I think you are right about the hump. I would say I jumped off at about 1-2mg per day. I am feeling slightly motivated, I am reading about potassium helping so I just ate a banana and took a multivitamin, and am going to grab a coffee then take a hot bath.

If you or anyone has any other tips for me that would be great. I want this part of my life to be over with. And I just want to feel normal, as I forgot what normalcy feels like.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:13 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hi and welcome to the forum,

I don't think anyone can tell you definitively when you'll start getting a good night's sleep. You said you want to feel normal again...I think we all want that. But unfortunately, nothing will turn back the clock and remove our addiction. It will almost certainly be a struggle for us for the rest of our lives, although there are exceptions.

I think the reason we're concerned about you relapsing is that you're still doing things we do in active addiction - being our own doctor, not being honest with our family/friends, and getting drugs off the street. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not judging in any way. I just want to point out what I see so that you can be more prepared to fend off relapse in the future. \

When it comes to getting through the withdrawals, many say that a good amount of strenuous exercise helps a lot. Maybe consider adding an exercise routine to your day - it just might help.

Again, welcome to the forum. I hope you find as much support in your recovery as I have. I think we have a great bunch of people here. Please keep us posted on how you're doing.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 2:15 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2010 2:20 pm
Posts: 635
I only wish you well in your efforts to get and stay clean, but this is a recipe for relapse. Please don't misunderstand. Like hatmaker, I wish you only the best in your efforts to get and stay clean, but I very much agree that when you continue to engage in active drug-addict behaviors like buying drugs off the street, being your own doctor, etc, you may actually achieve and accumulate some time off drugs, but you're unlikely to stay clean in the long run.....we are not telling you these things because we want you to fail. We are telling you these things because we want you to succeed! And I want to you succeed enough that I will not sugar coat the facts and brush them under the rug and tell you that what you are doing is ok.

OK, then, now that we have the scolding out of the way.... :wink: (and really, honestly, my sincere hope is that you can break free of this horrible addiction and move on with your life....)

Based on past experiences with what you are doing, I think you can certainly expect not to feel "normal" for quite some time. And it is extremely likely that you will face PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post%E2%80 ... l_syndrome

Look, the fact is that even with aftercare, counseling, therapy, etc, only about 5% of us addicts are able to get and stay clean long term. You have an extremely steep uphill battle ahead of you. I'm not trying to depress you, but those are the facts.

I would strongly recommend that you seek some kind of therapy or something. Or try going to AA or NA. Get SOME kind of support system in place so that when you DO start feeling PAWS, you have tools to help you deal with it.

I've relapsed hundreds of times over the last 30 some-odd years. Take it from an old man who's been at this addiction thing for a long time, you NEED to get some help or you're just setting yourself up. There's an old saying that really works well in this context:

Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:08 pm 
Hi Saraah and welcome. You're the 2nd person today who has said they don't want to go to a doctor because of what their families will think. That makes me sad. If your family knew you had a life threatening disease would they want you to get medical help? I believe so. Well, that is exactly what addiction is. And if your family really can't deal with it, can you just go to the doctor for personal reasons and not disclose what your diagnosis is? As others have already said, even with professional help and support this is a tough disease to beat.
A lot of people come to this site after buying a few subs on the streets, and after a couple of posts we never hear from them again. I can only assume that is not good news.
I'm sorry if it sounds like i'm giving a lecture, but I know firsthand because like many of us, I also tried to get clean on my own without anyone knowing, but ultimately it didn't work. It wasn't that I couldn't GET clean, it was that I couldn't STAY clean. I wish you all the best, and I hope you will reach out.
Good Luck,
Lilly


Top
  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 6 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group