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 Post subject: Re: what??
PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:57 pm 
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johnboy wrote:
i have P.T.S.D from life abuse of my father .i cant teype long words and good grammer
like the rest of you . is that why ladder/and the rest dont share with me.
i'll quit the forum if hat wants me to. i wish i new what the F i''''''''''''''m doing wrong?


When you see your reflection in the lake, don't fall in trying to save yourself.

You're looking for people to tell you it's all your father's fault, that you don't need to spell correctly, that everyone must be nice to you or you'll leave, and that it's OK to do heroin once a day.

I don't know you, I have nothing to gain from being rude to you, and I wish you the best. But I'm afraid your life isn't going to get any better until you own it. No one's going to fix it all for you, and even if they could, no one owes it to you to do so anyway.

Get cracking, man. You're not storming a beach in a Higgins boat, you're just stopping drugs.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:29 pm 
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Foggy, I am not sure why you felt it necessary to be so rude and just plain mean to johnnyboy, and he is not using heroin. It was the op Tearjerker that was using heroin once a day and it was 4 months ago, he is no longer doing this. It is obvious Johnnyboy has a hard time typing and he was just explaining that, he never blamed his drug use on his father. I think you owe him an apology.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 7:48 am 
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hello foggy". like breezy- ann said". that was 4 to 5 months ago. and it was a bad moment. but stick around on the forum a little longer and back up and regroup. get the whole story, not just a spit in the ocean? thanks. p.s.foggy get out of the fog and read more about tearjerker he's doing very well and a dam good poster!! thanks


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 10:02 am 
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A-to the-Men! please don't get on here and read an old post and start giving some very nice people a bunch of crap about it.

Breezy and johnboy, you are both sweethearts. :D :D

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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 Post subject: Re: what??
PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 10:25 am 
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Foggy wrote:
johnboy wrote:
i have P.T.S.D from life abuse of my father .i cant teype long words and good grammer
like the rest of you . is that why ladder/and the rest dont share with me.
i'll quit the forum if hat wants me to. i wish i new what the F i''''''''''''''m doing wrong?


When you see your reflection in the lake, don't fall in trying to save yourself.

You're looking for people to tell you it's all your father's fault, that you don't need to spell correctly, that everyone must be nice to you or you'll leave, and that it's OK to do heroin once a day.

I don't know you, I have nothing to gain from being rude to you, and I wish you the best. But I'm afraid your life isn't going to get any better until you own it. No one's going to fix it all for you, and even if they could, no one owes it to you to do so anyway.

Get cracking, man. You're not storming a beach in a Higgins boat, you're just stopping drugs.


Foggy -

This post is inappropriate towards another member. Please take care in the future. Continued posting such as this will merit warnings being issued. Thanks for your future cooperation. Please direct any questions to me or another moderator via PM.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 8:44 pm 
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Breezy_Ann wrote:
Foggy, I am not sure why you felt it necessary to be so rude and just plain mean to johnnyboy, and he is not using heroin. It was the op Tearjerker that was using heroin once a day and it was 4 months ago, he is no longer doing this. It is obvious Johnnyboy has a hard time typing and he was just explaining that, he never blamed his drug use on his father. I think you owe him an apology.


You're right, my bad. Sorry Tearjerker! I conflated the two posts. I'm still a big fan of personal responsibility and not laying off our problems on other people (like being unable to spend the time to spellcheck because of trauma), but it was my mistake attributing the problems of Johnnyboy to TJ!


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 Post subject: Re: what??
PostPosted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 8:50 pm 
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hatmaker510 wrote:
This post is inappropriate towards another member. Please take care in the future. Continued posting such as this will merit warnings being issued. Thanks for your future cooperation. Please direct any questions to me or another moderator via PM.


Hey, read my post. I take responsibility for getting two posts confused, and I apologized for that, but I wasn't attacking anyone, only their behavior. Those are two different things. I'm interested in everyone here succeeding in what they're doing, unless it's justifying their problems with excuses. If there's no room for that, ban me, but make sure you understand your own policy before lecturing.


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 Post subject: humans make mistakes
PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 2:20 am 
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Wow, Foggy, this must mean you are human. I sure am, I make mistakes everyday It was especially worse when I was still on the suboxone. For me, I think you are telling it like it is, cause you sure have been there.

Some times this forum needs some kick, less of this, " oh my goodness you poor thing. Isn't it just awful how drugs prescribed or bought off the streets ruin your life?" What a world, what a world........ I say well done, except for the 2 posts confusion part........hey you apologised.......let's move on.


Peace , Robin


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 3:53 am 
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hay foggy this was some in the past 5-6 months ago. you can transfer your what ever to tearjerker. but i'll tell you if you want to look back 5 moths ago and go and correct me? i did not see any apology from you. i'm not going to cry about
it. believe me YOU!! you have not been around here long. and you better listen to what hatmaker said. your right were here for recovery. not going around trying to correct somebody just becouse you think you can. and ya robinfa- were all human.
and welcome to the forum?


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 4:05 am 
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thank you ladder tripper". hatmaker your a sweetheart too!! i'll correct that foggy. i advise you to listen to hatmaker" thanks.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:45 am 
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WTF is going on in here?

Someone raised this thread from the dead!

johnboy. You're alright in my books. Keep postin man.

Foggy the sledgehammer therapy might work well in a bootcamp 12-step rehab but I don't think you can really say things like that to someone you know absolutely nothing about on an internet forum

And yes guys. I'm going okay now :) No heroin for a number of months. And no alcohol for 3 months, and no cigarettes for 2 months! I've replaced em all - with Nacho Cheese Doritos :D

And as for the interferon... :roll:

Look I won't lie. Things are actually really rough at the moment. The interferon has really rocked my world around. After a few weeks I realised that I wouldn't be able to study while undergoing the treatment, so I took a "leave of absence". This basically leaves me on sickness benefits, working not many hours, basically injecting myself once a week with this nasty stuff that knocks my body and mind, and I'm taking more pills than a pharmacy holds.

The physical side-effects aren't too bad. I have my injection on the Thursday, and usually Friday -> Sunday I feel like I've got a fever, migraine, but am generally functional. What's really messing me up is the depression. I already have bipolar, and am on lithium and lamotrigine, so my gastro doc was really apprehensive about putting me on interferon. So I shouldn't be surprised that I'm getting knocked around with the psych side-effects. But what's weird is I'm on a sh*tload of anti-depressants - first I went cymbalta 60->120->180-240mg, raising until the doses stopped working, now I'm on Pristiq 250mg. These are HIGH doses, and usually I need hardly this much. But the interferon's depression is so pathological and engrossing you gotta bring out the big guns. It's quite a nasty, self-reflective depression that could definitely lead to destructive decisions if you don't stay on top of it.

So with all this - time on my hands, psychiatric stuff coming up - using has been on my mind a bit. Luckily the depression makes me realise how much using sucks. It's kinda like "yeah but if i use i'll just hate it anyway like everything else". So maybe the depression is doing some good?

I still have my good days though. Today's not too bad. My girlfriend, TV and dogs are what's saving me at the moment.

Otherwise, I'm officially hep c negative, and half way through my 24 week treatment course.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 7:11 am 
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thanks tear". what go's around come's around.i remember the day's" when every body thought it was the only way to convince some one". but it's some person or person's who were think'in
they know some one more than them self's. glad your not doing heroin? but i still smokum and the nocho cheese doritos
on top of that :lol: tear", i feel the same way with my depression!!! i would all ways need to be in a good mood' in order
to drink or drug!! it was much harder in a depressed or bad mood becouse i would sit there dwelling on it for hour's and f'n
hour's :x . but at least now with suboxone i don't have to go through that shit :) i hvae also been through hell with depress-
physic med's. and think i found one that work's and don't make me too sick. i'm on nuvigil/500mg lexaproup to 20mg/it seems
the meds are lifting me out of that hopeless coma depressed vegetable feeling. have you tried these meds yet?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:49 am 
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Tearjerker, I don't completely understand Hep C, but I remember from meetings when people would go through the Interferon and talk about it, there would be some groans of compassion and empathy from around the room. It sounds like a rough road.

Dude, so you are now Hep C negative? Forever? Are you going to be cured? I remember one husband and wife who both went through it and it worked for her and she was 'negative' and it did not work for him, which is weird. If you have to go through this experience, I hope and pray and wish and send happy thoughts to you that it will end up with you being Hep C negative, which sounds like is happening. You are one tough cookie!

Keep on keeping on.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:31 am 
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Tear, I'm so sorry you are going through this. It sounds really difficult and it makes me realize that my issues are trivial in the scheme of things. I know clinical depression and how debilitating it can be, so whatever you need to take to manage it, just go with it. You can always taper off of the meds you don't want to be on at some point down the road. I'm on two different AD's for the first time in my life, too, but that's just the way it's gotta be right now while I'm going off Sub.
I'm glad you're not using - and don't let it sneak up on you while you have time on your hands. When your girlfriend isn't around keep those dogs close by because they can really help with the stress - I don't know how they do it, but they do. My dog is next me right now.
I hope you will post a lot and tell us what's going on. And I wish you the best with your treatment.
Lilly


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 12:55 am 
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Thanks everyone.

Technically my Hep C is undetectable, and considering I was undetectable by week 4 of my treatment, it means I'm almost certainly going to get SVR (sustained virological response) = long term Hep C negative.

Since I've switched to pristiq things have gotten a bit better. Hope it'll hold up! For some reason posting on this place helps a bit, esp when it's about other peoples stuff! :lol:


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 Post subject: new hep c treatment?
PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 5:19 am 
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That is great news that you're negative for the Hep C now! If you don't mind my asking, is the interferon you're taking the new medication that just recently came out? Or are you doing the old version? I have heard that the new treatment that just recently became available has a much higher success rate than what has been available up to now. but it still has a lot of side effects...which you are dealing with. But...you're half way through and your prognosis is looking very positive and that is just fantastic! I'm so glad for you. I do sympathize with the depression and the too-much-time-on-your-hands thing. Lately both those things have just been ruining my life. When i'm badly depressed it's very easy for me to lose perspective. That is, I often find it impossible to see any kind of light at the end of the tunnel. In your case, right now, I hope you are able to see that you have a lot to look forward to. It sounds like you do see that. But i know that doesnt' mean you aren't suffering--it sure sounds like you are. But you're coping and doing what you need to do. That is something to be proud of. I wish you luck as you get through the rest of the interferon treatment. Thank you for posting to let us know what's going on. Your posts are always meaningful to me and I can relate to a lot of the things you talk about--heroin, psychiatric issues, debilitating depression, etc are all too familiar to me.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 7:46 am 
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tear' i'm glad your hep-c is in recovery . i think my brother will be trying interferon, but it being so new
i need to look more in to it? i was just talking about the other meds, couse they really seem to be helping
me out with the problems i can also very much relate to.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 7:47 am 
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Hey Autononymous,

You are right. At the moment there are a number of new treatments going through the pipeline. Most of these treatments are add-ons to Interferon & Ribavirin - ie Interferon, Ribavirin plus Teleprivir, or Borecrivir etc. These new treatments are only being used for people who have genotypes 1 and 4, as these genotypes are incredibly difficult treat. ie - I'm one of the lucky ones with genotype 3. Because of this, my treatment course is 24 weeks long (just under 6 months), and I have a 70% chance at cure with standard treatment. People with genotypes 1 & 4 aren't so lucky. When using just standard peginterferon / ribavirin combo, they need to do treatment for a whole 48 weeks / nearly a year - and even then they only have approx 50% chance success.

The new treatments have been shown to have little benefit for people with geno 2 or 3, ie me. However, when given to the people with geno 1 or 4, the new treatments can halve treatment time, and increase success rate to over 80%. This is huge, as it allows people with hard to treat genos to have the same chance at treatment success as the easier genos.

i hear ya about the psych stuff. Many doctors are apprehensive about prescribing interferons to people with a history of mental illness, just because there's an obvious statistically significant increase in suicide and even homicide on the stuff - and that's even in people who have no diagnosis of mental illness. But I'm pushing through it. Nearly half way! The main thing is the too much time on my hands. When this starts, my old head can kick in, and I ponder ways to make easy money etc... :twisted:

OH and PS... Even though I may be able to say I'm cured of my Hep C at one point, I can still catch it again should I ever relapse and be sloppy with my practices. The thought of doing this scares the bejeezus outta me, of relapsing and its consequences, of being in such a messy place where I couldn't remember whose utensil was whose let alone cared, of catching Hep again and feeling its annoying side-effects that really eat away at your self-esteem, and of doing treatment again. Hell, I doubt they'd even let me do it again. God I gotta stay clean.

I'm seriously considering going down the naltrexone implant / injection road once I taper off Suboxone, just as a failsafe.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 27, 2011 8:26 am 
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tearj3- good you had genotypse 2-3' my brother has 4 and he can not take fibavirin" some of the other phsyic meds
can be more dangerous!


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 2:48 pm 
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Thanks for responding to my questions Tearjerker. I hope you are feeling some better by now too. Don't give up caring about yourself! You know, I have more than a couple of friends who have hep C. And I think everyone among the people I used to use with ended up contracting it--except me. And some of that was just luck, I am sure. I at least tried to take the infection risks seriously, which some of my friends simply did NOT, and in fact sometimes they acted offended when I questioned certain practices or insisted on certain other practices (like bleaching needles or using separate cookers). I tried to tell them, my concerns were for them as well as for myself! But in the early days we used to share intranasal equipment and that is now known to be a possible way to transmit hep C. And also, like you mentioned too, I was in many situations where it would have been easy to make a mistake about who had used which utensil...or to waive the risk away. You are right that it's best to not get into those kinds of situations at all! But whatever circumstances we end up in, we can still try to keep caring about ourselves and do the best we can rather than to give up as if it doesn't matter what we do or what risks we take. Again, I am really happy to hear about your being negative for Hep C now and I hope the rest of your treatment is not too hard on you.


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