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PostPosted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 12:35 pm 
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After I left work yesterday I felt good. The only side effect I felt was some fatigue. I exercised before I fell asleep and also took another 800mg of ibuprofen. I slept perfectly fine. I woke up a couple times but fell right back to sleep. When I woke up in the morning to exercise I felt too exhausted so went back to sleep for a half hour with plans to exercise tonight instead.

I usually feel kind of crappy in the mornings after taking 0 the day before but this morning I felt fine, just tired.

Tomorrow I'll take 0 again and we'll see how it goes - hopefully well :)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 23, 2010 2:01 pm 
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My 2nd day taking 0 every other day is going well. So I took nothing today. I felt weird in the morning like really clammy and kid of hot and took some ibuprofen and I took it again 8 hours later. I've felt good all day since the morning just tired. I don't have any hot flashes or cold sweats. I've had a little diarrhea but only once. Sometimes I get a little tiny bit clammy but nothing bad. I'm definately a little more irritable than usual but that's not bad either. My biggest symptom really is fatigue. I hope the rest of it goes this well I really do.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:35 pm 
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After I left work Friday the rest of my day went well. I noticed as the day went on my nose got runnier and runnier tho until at one point I was blowing it every 10 minutes. I also noticed as I fell asleep my legs were a little restless and hard to keep comfortable and still but did not keep me from falling asleep.

I took a small dose Saturday so nothing happened that day at all then was off again on Sunday. Sunday I had very little motivation in the morning but as the day went on that got a little better. I was fatigued again and also slightly restless with a runny nose by the end of the day. I slept fine Sunday night. I did not exercise Friday, Saturday or Sunday - I just couldn't get up the motivation and kept making excuses even though I know it would have helped. I did wake up early this morning though and made myself exercise. I usually do a 40 minute exercise but I felt good settling at 20 minutes today. I'm going to force myself to get up early and exercise the rest of the week too, hopefully, if not I won't get down on myself. I just hope this fatigue and lack of motivation doesn't last too long.

I felt better taking 0 Sunday than I did the first couple days I started alternating taking 0 every other day. I hope that means my body is adjusting. I'm still taking ibuprofen and a multivitamin too.

I'm getting extremely nervous for Wednesday even though I'm trying to only think about today. Wednesday will be my last day alternating 0 every other day and then I'll be taking 0 for 2 days in a row and taking the small dose one day then 0 for 2 days in a row again for a week. I'm really anxious about how I will feel that 2nd day. I'm ok not taking it one day and feeling a little down but I'm scared shitless I'm going to get some hardcore withdrawal on that 2nd day. Even though I don't think I will get hardcore w/d considering how this taper has gone so far - but you never really know.

I can't read any of the threads on this board right now either because then it seems like my w/d is 100x worse than what it actually is. I have to keep reminding myself I've come this far and it's only a little ways to go until it's all over. In the long run the next 2-3 weeks are like a blink compared to the rest of my life. Pray for me that I stay strong and make it through till the end.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:23 am 
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Yesterday was another 0 day.

I realized my mornings are a lot worse than the rest of my day. In the mornings I feel clammy, unmotivated and get some hot flashes. After being up for an hour I feel much better and by the end of the day I've forgotten all about the fact it's a 0 day.

Yesterday my symptoms were a runny nose mostly in the morning and the usual stuff I just talked about in the morning. I was completely unmotivated in the morning to do any exercise and ended up exercising before bed. I felt great later in the day. I was motivated to get stuff done and exercise. I slept good through the night. I did sweat much more than usual yesterday. There was about an hour late in the morning around 11am that I became extremely restless. I could not get my legs comfortable at all and had to keep moving them. It wasn't bad like heroin withdrawal rls but it was still uncomfortable. I think it may have been slightly psychological because I couldn't stop thinking about it. When I became distracted I felt much better.

I'm nervous about tomorrow because it starts my taking nothing for 2 days in a row. I hope it goes alright. I'm excited this is almost over though.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:02 pm 
Inrecovery.....Thank you for continuing to post your experiences! It sometimes may not feel like it's worth it, but you are helping me and I'm sure many others by taking the time.
I'm glad to hear that you are sounding quite positive overall, despite having some mild withdrawal symptoms. Even though they are relatively mild, they are aggravating nonetheless! I know for me, I can handle the runny nose and even the hot/cold thing, but oh my gosh....I hate the RLS/leg aches and that sort of thing! And of course, sleep disturbances are no fun either! I know you're hesitant to take anything, but a little Benedryl or Tylenol PM (just Tylenol with benedryl added) couldn't hurt and might help a little bit. The mental aspects, above all the rest, I know are what will be my biggest hurdle...the low motivation and depressed mood....in finishing my taper.
You are really doing well here....able to skip a day and then only taking tiny amounts other days....fantastic! You are so close! I admire your efforts and think you're so on the right track with your exercise, nutrition, vitamins, staying busy, and keeping a positive attitude throughout! So hang in there and try not to beat yourself up if you find that you need to slow down on the taper from time to time. You will ultimately get there! Remember too, that the main thing is when we decide to try life without the Suboxone.....that we have everything in place to make sure we never go back to using our old drug(s) of choice! We can never go back! Please keep posting! I appreciate it!


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 8:09 am 
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Thanks for your post setmefree it really helped me this morning. I was honestly not too positive this morning at all. To be perfectly honest I wanted to stick a needle in my arm and forget my troubles for a bit but the hope is I talked to a couple people and feel better and didn't do it.

I took 0 today and tomorrow will be the 1st time I take 0 2 days in a row. I'm feeling the same extremely mild physical withdrawal but last night and this morning it was the psychological stuff that beat me down. My Mom accused me of letting my ex drive my car (which is completely ridiculous) and gave me an attitude with her accusations and I really flipped. I haven't flipped that bad in a long time. I told her she was wrong and she was full of bullshit. I talked to my sponsor after and calmed down and apologized. This morning she came down and started back in with the don't ever talk to me that way and I told her I already apologized and she said with her attitude 'I'm just reiterating.' I thought I don't need you're reiteration bitch I need to get off my back for the next couple weeks and stop you're paranoid bullshit just for a little while. I told her I have a lot going on right now including a medical issue I just found out about. So she starts pushing me to tell her what it is. I'm comfortable doing that cuz it's non of her fucking business besides being embarrassing. So she eventually left for work after making me feel bad that I wasn't willing to talk to her.

After she left I texted her on my own way to work and told her it's been extremely tolling coming off this medication because I'm essentially coming off opiates and for an opiate addict it's undeniably rough. I told her I just needed to get thru the next week or 2 and I'll hopefully be in a better place where I'm undersatnding, patient, calm and willing again because right now I'm not there.

I just want this to be over. I want to be back to my usual easy going loving caring nature and I'm scared I'm going to be this horrible irritable person all the time. I have an appt with my dr today and I'll talk to him about this too. I'm sure he'll tell me it's going to be alright I'll level out and feel better soon. I just wish I was feeling better now.

Sorry I wasn't so happy and positive today hopefully I'll come back tomorrow or later today with a better less depressed and less defeated attitude. I'm sticking to my schedule and I'll be off this medication soon and everything will be ok. Even though I'm uncomfortable and feeling crazy now I just need to walk thru it and get to other side.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 8:20 am 
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P.S. Thanks for letting me vent it helps :)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 8:41 am 
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I'm feeling a little better today and a little calmer as well. I resolved any conflict with my Mom and we're on the same page now with where I'm at and what's going in my head and all that so I'm feeling better on that front.

Today is day 2 off suboxone. I saw my dr yesterday and he said if I wanted to just keep going and don't take suboxone again instead of taking nothing 2 days in a row then dose then nothing 2 days in a row. He suggested this after telling him all the psychological stuff going with me. He said I shouldn't feel any worse withdrawal but may get a little more uncomfortable. He also said I should start feeling better around Tuesday. I told him about my extreme fatigue, no motivation, irritability, depression and I even had a couple crying spells yesterday. He said the reason for this may be an underlying depression/anxiety that the suboxone treated but to give it a few weeks before jumping to any conclusions. I was upset after the dr appt because honestly I don't want to feel depressed and have to go back onto medication when I just got off. But it is what it is and if I need to be on antidepressants then I guess I will be and that's ok.

I slept fine last night and did an easy 30 minute exercise routine last night (mostly stretching and yoga). I felt my usual crappiness when I woke up in the morning. I was just fatigued (and still am) I felt clammy and had some hot flashes. Right now I'm feeling better no clamminess or hot flashes but a strange all around physical feeling of blah. My nose has been running this morning too and I've blown it a few times. Along with occasional diarrhea. I keep stretching my arms and legs and putting my legs in tight positions underneath my body while sitting in my swivel chair at work. None of this is really bad at all. I keep reminding myself of how it feels to withdrawal from heroin and this doesn't even come close. I remember waking up in the morning and could hardly move my hands because of the pain in every single one of my joints. I don't want to ever be back there again.

I'm proud of myself I have nothing in my system although I still feel depressed. I'm really hoping my energy starts coming back next week and I'm not in need of antidepressants. I keep reading on here that others have felt fatigued and thier energy has come back so I'm hoping that's what will happen.

I know the next day or 2 could possibly feel worse but I don't have to work so hopefully I can just relax and sit through the discomfort. I'm sure it'll be fine though. I honestly don't think it will get that bad because as I reduced I noticed the 2nd and 3rd days were always the worst for me and then it got better from there. So i may feel a little more uncomfortable tomorrow but I should start feeling better after that. At least I'm hoping my body continues on this trend and I start feeling better by day 4.

Good Luck to anyone out there going through their own taper. I am extremely grateful for this community where I can come and vent and explain my physical and psychological symptoms. I don't know if I could do this otherwise. Thank you.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:14 pm 
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I just wanted to do a quick update because I've noticed a new physical sympton - I'm sweating a lot more than usual but only under my right. It's weird.

I'll try to make sure I have time to update over the weekend since it'll be my 3rd and 4th days off suboxone.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 6:59 pm 
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Day 3 off suboxone is going really well. I slept fine but woke up to the worst morning I've had yet. I was exhausted with an overall feeling of blah. I felt clammy and my body felt hot. After being up for about an hour all this went away and I felt a million times better after a shower (not hot or cold just in between). I've felt physically good the rest of the day except for the same extreme fatigue.

I'll keep up my updating but so far so good :)


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 9:19 pm 
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That's great! I'm so glad to hear your doing good. I've been reading your posts and hoping everything was going smoothly for you. Well- as smoothly as possible anyway. It's so up and down with this w/d process. It's like you start out great and then crash or wake up feeling blah only to get a second wind and feel fine. I'm just living for the better moments right now. My biggest problem at Day 5 is my back and shoulder pain. I've also had tingling in my hands that just bugs. But in all honesty I shouldn't be complaining because all is manageable.
I'm clammy too! What do you suppose causes that? I keep smelling vinegar for some reason... how weird, I know. My entire since of smell has become so intense, I hate it, I smell all sorts of things and my face is very oily, it might be unrelated to my w/d's idk, subs have caused me acne really bad over the past 18 months that's one side effect I am going to be so relieved to ditch! It's so weird too, because I never had acne before, not even as a teen, I only had mild and occasional break outs but since I started subs I've not had a clear face once! Talk about blah! And I'm 35!! My 17 year old son has less acne than me!! That's just wrong. Ok, sorry about the rant, they just happen.

Well, I wish you the absolute best of luck, don't be discouraged, you can do this!


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:17 pm 
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I don't know what the clamminess is from it's so weird. I hate the feeling though!

Today is Day 5 and I feel good.

I was correct in thinking I'd start feeling better on day 4. I felt crappy in the morning but better than I did on day 3. I felt good day 4 after the morning passed and I got moving although still tired and depressed that day.

Today I feel good. I felt the best this morning than I have in a long long time, even though I still felt slightly clammy and a little blah. I'm still tired today too. I also noticed I'm sweating more than usual and mostly from my right arm again lol. As I'm writing this I'm getting a tiny bit hot flashy but I'm almost positive it's psychological.

Looks like things are going well so far and anyone else out there keep it up you can do it. Walking through the fear is hard but it is worth it.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 9:26 am 
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I agree the mornings are the worst. LAZY & UNMOTIVATED.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 9:56 am 
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Mornings are the worst but this morning I felt absolutely fine. Woke up with no clamminess or blah feeling at all. Today is day 6 and all I'm feeling is tired. I think the fatigue is partly from the medication and partly from being up with my son because he had a rough night. Hopefully after a few more days and some good nights sleep I won't feel so tired.

So it is totally possible to come off suboxone with minimal side effects. For me the psychological was the worst part. I had so many fears - fears of withdrawal, fears I couldn't do it and so many other fears. But you can do it and be just fine.

:)


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:01 am 
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I think it is so great that you're feeling so good! And thanks for sharing your experience with us. Just by posting your story it's helped so many people. It's nice to hear that it CAN be done. Too many people buy into the "sub w/d is like dying" horror stories. Hopefully your story can help counter some those claims. One just needs to do it "right", for lack of a better word. I'm so glad you're doing well. Keep on keeping us posted.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:55 am 
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Thanks hatmaker - buying into those stories is one of the reasons I was so feared up about coming off. But if done slowly it's really not that bad at all.

Today is Day 8 and I still feel good. My mood is leveled out and I feel exactly the way I felt before quitting just my energy level and motivation are still low. That's getting a little better everyday though. I'm amazed when I wake up in the mornings and take nothing and feel perfectly Ok. To me that is the greatest feeling in the world - waking up and feeling good and not like I need to take my medicine or some ibuprofen. It's awesome.

Anyone out there keep it up you can do it :)


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