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 Post subject: slipper's story
PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 10:06 pm 
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thanks everyone for your replies...i have had a 29yr addiction to hydrocodone taking 20 10mg. daily when i could get it..before that it was booze, but my husband of 41yrs said he would not put up with a drunk wife...when he was 33 he had a massive m.i. and almost died..thus we had valium and lorcet in the house. i had quit drinking and was doing well until i took the first lorcet 10 for a migraine..then it just escalated into a full addiction. i also was so worried about him i could not sleep (we had two babies as well) so i took his valium...i am an r.n. and was real good to self medicate..at first the doctors would just give it to me walking in the hospital...they all liked me and i would say i had a bad migraine and they would say sure Judy ..just write the script what you want and i'll sign it..this lasted a while until i started doubling back too soon and they became suspicious and cut me off..i've been to 5 treatment centers..in aa for 20 plus years ,it works if y ou work it..i did not!! have seen a psych/counselor and the only sober time i managed to accumilate was one year!!! finally not long ago i heard of this drug called subutex and found a doctor. after dosing me in his office i felt wonderful and so much better. i am on 16mg. 8 and 8, and i cannot believe i have no desire for hydros...or any other controlled substance. i don't even think about it. i feel great..have no side effects..my whole life has changed! i'm not chasing hydros all day..i can go on vacations without worrying about getting enough pills to last..we have all this extra money coming in..my husband says he has his wife back...my children are now letting me keep my grandchildren and so it goes. i wish everyone knew about this drug who is addicted to opiates,however, some of them may not be ready. i don't think i ever took hydro to get high ...i took it to get through the day...i couldn't work without it, or do anything without it...i would use the excuse that i was sick with somethingwhen i didn't have any pills and i was sick a lot!! anyway thanks for letting me share...all of you are so nice and i love reading your stories here on the forum..............oh by the way...i chose the name slipper because in aa i was known as the( QUEEN OF SLIPS)!!...i had a whole closet full of desire chips....(i am not proud of it)..also in a previous post i talked about lack of guilt...well now that i am getting my life back i feel so guilty for all the horrible things i did..i asked god to forgive me...now i have to learn how to forgive myself...


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:27 am 
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Hi slipper and thanks so much for sharing your story. No matter how unique each of us is, when it comes to addiction there's something that's the same in all of us. So just know we've all been through it and you're not alone.

I've been on sub for almost 3 years and like you, it changed my life so much for the better. My family was stupefied at the near immediate change in me. And this much time later, I'm still that new person.

Thanks again for opening up and sharing your story.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:59 am 
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Hey slipper,

I'm so glad Suboxone is working so good for you. You have had some wonderful things happen in your life since getting on Suboxone and that's great!

As far as learning how to forgive yourself, that is a tough one. I think most of us struggle with that one. It's almost like we addicts like to beat ourselves up??

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


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 Post subject: Congrats
PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:56 pm 
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Hi Slipper,

It's so nice to read another success story about someones life being given back to them. I felt exactly the same way. No way could I have stopped without the assistance of Sub unless I ended up in a treatment center for six months or so. Suboxone has enabled so many of us to return to living a normal life with our loved ones. And I too am an old alkie so our addictions are very similar.

I like your screen name. At least now they aren't calling me that name anymore, you took it! Ten years of trying to draw a sober breath and finally I had hit bottom and quit drinking. 14 years sober and Vicodin entered my life and I don't need to explain the rest.

Even with working the 12 steps of AA, it still is hard not to feel guilty about some of the things I need while in active addiction. They helped, but didn't remove it completely. But that is good. It means you are aware of your shortcomings and are a better person for it now. If we didn't feel bad about our old behavior we might repeat it. So just accept it as part of your life and strive to do your best each and every day. That's how I make amends to those I can't find. I try to live my life like a decent person and maybe one day it'll even up the score. What else can one do?

So congratulations on having a wonderful new life and enjoy every minute of it.

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