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 Post subject: Sigh...PAWS
PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 11:03 am 
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Close to 2 months off of Sub and had a slip up with DOC this weekend. Just 2 days of use has thrown my recovery out of whack and left me with a burning case of PAWS. This is what PAWS feels like to me: I am trapped on the top floor of a burning building with the flames engulfing each floor below me. My two options; be burned alive by the relentless PAWS or "jump" from the fire and give in to my DOC. Sorry for the graphic analogy, but PAWS is pretty damn persistent sometimes. I guess I did it to my self by Slipping up this past weekend. Will Do my best to make it through this tho.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 1:27 pm 
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I'm sorry to hear you slipped and it's causing you more discomfort. One of the very best things you can do to counteract PAWS is to exercise and take REALLY good care of yourself, nutrition-wise included. You want to do things to kick start your natural endorphins - that means exercise, laughter, things like that. Keep yourself occupied and positive.

Here's a link to a thread about acute and post-acute withdrawals that might help you out: http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=5941

I wish you the very best. Take care and keep us posted on how you're doing.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 1:30 am 
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I feel that same way without relapse... =( Except not as graphic. Maybe stuck in this horrid land of unnormal and I know what would make me feel better but I know it's temp and ill be going back and blah blah blah list goes on. I go over that long list every time I have a trigger. Cause I will have times where I am like I cannot take this sh*t no more... No its about how much I can take and keep going. Eventually no matter how long the road you have to come out the otherside or you adjust lol

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 7:10 am 
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Sorry you relapsed. PAWS is, in my view, the hardest part about recovery. If you could just throw off the chains of dope with three days of withdrawal and be done with it, people would have no trouble staying off dope. But it's PAWS that keep people coming back. Sorry; I don't have any advice, I just know how you're feeling.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 9:35 am 
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It sounds more like cravings to me than PAWS ... cravings are a big part of recovery, but are most intense in early recovery. It's a feeling of rising tension, of fear, and the tension gets more and more until you feel convinced the only way to save yourself is to give in and to use.

After the whole ordeal it's easy to see the whole thing is an illusion brought on by one's addiction... but while in that state, it's almost impossible to control one's own actions.

Cravings, particularly the strong ones in early recovery, are the reason people go to rehab. They've found that in the first 90 days off opioids, for many people the cravings are so strong it's nigh impossible to stay clean. After that, cravings diminish in their intensity enough that a significant amount of people can exert some choice in the matter. That's why these days a lot of rehabs go for 3 months instead of the old 28 day thing.

If you find it impossible to exert any kind of choice or control in that state no matter how many "tools" you know, I'd suggest maybe going somewhere safe and out of harm's way... Like a cage in the middle of the desert? Or a rehab? Or an uncle's corn farm and work the fields for a while?

You might be like "noo but I got a job and kids" and whatever but really ... look at what's on the line.


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