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PostPosted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 5:50 pm 
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My fiance and I are both dependent on opiates, and have both been on suboxone. However, I've only been on it for a little over a year and it's been about 6 for him. Nevertheless, before I started taking Sub, I had other issues such as depression and numerous personality disorders. I was never happy -- always miserable on a day to day basis; it never failed. I wouldn't quite say that the Sub treatment alone helped much, but these past 4 months when I also started getting some sort of outside help too, like 12 step meetings and such, it actually did help my depression a lot. I didn't feel suicidal for 2 whole months which was a first for me. Then, my fiance decided to get off Sub and get clean finally. At that time, I was 3 months clean from heroin and using Sub, while he was still using H and basically just used Sub to avoid withdrawal for a day or however long until he did it again. But he's now a month clean from everything and I'm proud of him. However, when I decided that maybe I was ready as well, I was so wrong. I never wanted to use really since I stopped, so I figured I probably wouldn't want to use when I was off Sub either. Wrong. All I thought about was "drugs", "should I kill myself today?" and "more drugs". I made it like 6 days clean from everything including Sub, and then became so suicidal again that I ended up at the ER after an OD and apparently scared everyone shitless, including my fiance. He told me that maybe I was one of those people whom he heard needed to take Sub for depression. Said it was a heck of a lot better than killing myself. The mental withdrawal from this med is just the worst for me. I guess it has to be my underlying issues making it so bad because I don't even feel all that bad from the physical withdrawal, it's just the depression I can't handle. I don't know how people do it. It's the worst feeling in the world. But now I'm kind of debating what he said. Should I really stay on this medication for the rest of my life because otherwise my life is kind of in danger? I mean, it helps me stay stable enough to not act on my impulses even when I do feel bad, that's why I'd never attempted to actually kill myself before even when I wanted to (since I've been on it). But my family wants me off Sub and they'd really hate me if they knew I got back on it. I know it's about what's best for me, not what they want though. But it just means I would have to hide it from them which I don't want to do, but don't think I have any other choice. I guess I just want some opinions from people about being on this medicine due to depression and suicidal thinking. For me, it helps to stabilize me just enough to care to get other forms of help and still function in my life. Without it, I can't do either it seems.


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 Post subject: For Life?
PostPosted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 7:46 pm 
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Hi Tonya and welcome to the forum. I am not depressed nor suicidal but can still give my opinion. From just reading all the horror you go through when not on it, I don't see any problem with taking for whatever time period necessary.

You didn't say how you got off the Suboxone. Did you taper like suggested or just stop taking it at a high dose? If you don't do it correctly then of course you are going to have a very tough time withdrawing. How about some more information about your Suboxone use. Did you get it from a Sub Dr., or buy it off the street?

Don't worry too much about what your family is going to think. You need to do right for yourself. If that means taking Sub for several years or even for life, then so be it. At least you are stable while on it and can function.

Welcome again and post away!

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 Post subject: I choose life
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 7:14 pm 
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Hi Tanya, I know Rule already said it, but WELCOME! I really am truly sorry to hear how things have been going for you lately. I happen to see this the same way as Rule does.

I am currently on 16mg daily. 8mg in the morning and 8mg in the evening. I dose twice a day because I am on suboxone for pain as well as my addiction. When I started taking suboxone, I was positive that it would not be long term. But, once I was on it, and saw just how much it addressed my pain issue, as well as removing any and all cravings, I became a lot more open minded. I am one of the people that truly believes that suboxone affects depression in a positive manner. I have not had any problems with my depression since taking it. There were times when I was suicidal in the past, however it has been years. But my depression was still there just as strong as ever. I guess the reason that I am telling you all of this, is because now I look at my suboxone treatment very differently. If I need to stay on it for the rest of my life, in order to not be depressed, relapse, or be in pain, then I am 100% open to that. I have never taken a medication that adressed my depression, pain, and addiction, all at once, until taking suboxone.

This is a very individual, and personal choice. Again, I agree with Rule when he says that you can't worry about what your family, or anyone else thinks about you being on it. I am sure that they would rather see you alive and on suboxone, then the horrible alternative. Just think about it. Nothing says that you have to take it, or that you can't take it. This decision is all up to you. I for one, would like to hear you happy, and living your life. However that needs to happen. Best of luck to you. We are all here if you need us. Oh and please keep us updated??

Take care...

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 05, 2012 1:36 am 
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Hello Tanya. I would like to add my welcome to the forum to Rule and GoinStrong's. I am certainly glad you did not act on your suicidal thoughts. I too had daily suicidal thoughts while I was addicted, but after going through a 10 day rehab program the first of this year, and subsequently getting on suboxone/subutex, I no longer have those thoughts. I too, at first, thought I would only be on suboxone/subutex for a short while. I have now been on for 8+ months. Like you, my family wants me off suboxone/subutex, but I have to do what is right for me. It has caused a few fights with my wife and I because the suboxone/subutex has had very negative effects on my sex drive and our sex life. That being said, I do not really have any plans on coming off suboxone/subutex anytime soon and my wife knows that. Not happy about it, but she understands.

I agree with what Rule and GoingStrong have said in that if taking suboxone/subutex has so many positive affects on your life, then obviously you should stay on it. Take it for life? Well, that is something you and your doc will figure out as time goes on. Obviously now is not the time for you to come off!!!!!

I hope this helps and that you do what is right for you.

Take care!


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 1:25 am 
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hi tanya23'. sorry what your going through, but it may not be all that bad remaining on suboxone and some day your family may give in also and except you on subs.
i have problems with my family on this med because i am a little more demanding on things. on this med i bring my self out
in the open more witch helps me the most and i think it's better for my family to understand even when they would rather not.
there just not use to it, and it's just to bad. P.S. we need to take care of our self's also.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 2:14 am 
Which ever way you feel you would be happier with. Afterall, isn't that what it's all about? I was at a similar cross roads recently and I'm workin mine out as well right now. Whatever you decide I wish you the best


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 4:49 pm 
What up fellow newbie~? Keep it real with yourself, no what I mean? Be a better freind to yourself forever and always. You wanna stay on it forever. fuck it thats cool. anyone says otherwise fuck em. You wanna get off it. fuck it thats cool too. Anyone says otherwise......... hey you know it, FUCK EM!!


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 Post subject: Suboxone
PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 10:10 pm 
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Hello, I am a newbie here, and I also welcome you, This is an fairly old thread, but others may want to read and gain knowledge from it.

I agree with the comment post(s) before mine except SuboxSaves. Not saying that the be bashing or anything, but I don't like some peoples attitude when it comes to very serious topics. What others think is only their thoughts, it is your thoughts that count, I know I just have told myslef in the past, there are people who do know what may be the right decision for me and others.

IMO I would disregard comments about doing what he/she may or may not want you to do, Those people could be talking to you in your best interest and some may not be.

As rule62 and a couple others said it does sound like you may need to do what is right for you, and maybe talking to your doctor and other supportive people who are positive for you may need to happen before making critical decisions.

Maybe the Suboxone could keep you feeling better and help you from not having bad thoughts.

Like others said, I agree that it wouldnot be a good idea to stop Suboxone abruptly, if while you are taking Suboxone you feel like you think more positive, then it could be the right thing for you.

I also know from personal experience that listening to others (not everyone) and caring about what they say, when they say positive things sure has halped me.

When I started taking suboxone, I was scared, I was so used to using opiates, that even the thought of not even having easy access to them was scary, So I asked many questions to my doctor, my family people I trust to tell me the right things, and also talked to myself, asking "self, you are in a bad situation, and self said, yes you're right !"
So, I started on the Suboxone....and have not regreted it not one time...it has saved my life in many ways!

I hope that you are feeling better and also hope you are having a great day, I know there are many peole on this forum that are very sincere and know a lot more about suboxone and it's uses and side effects than I probably ever will, and I know they can and will help you.

Best of luck, and hang in there.... :)


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