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PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 11:53 pm 
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I only started suboxone three weeks ago, but a few days ago I had such a great reminder of why I'm doing this...

My husband and I had some money left over this month after we paid all of our bills so he gave me a hundred dollars and told me to do with it as I please. Now back in the pre-suboxone days I would have taken that money and bought pills faster than you can you can say "junkie on a binge", but now that I'm clean I had no desire to spend my money on drugs. It's so funny how when I was using $100 seemed like nothing. Hell I would spend that and more in a day! Now days it just seems like so much more money and it definitely goes farther and takes me a hell of a lot longer to spend it. Anyways, today I had so many more options. Instead I waited until saturday and took my two boys out and bought them both a couple of toys. Then I went and picked up a couple of their friends and took them all out to lunch. Then brought them all back to the house to play. I had so much fun with my children that day, and it felt so good to be able to buy them whatever they wanted and not have to worry about whether I would have enough money for pills. It was a wonderful day.

I look back on that day and start to tear up. I'm so grateful for how my life, after only three weeks, has changed so much for the better. I'm so thankful for moments like that not only to create wonderful memories with my children, but also to remind myself why I want so badly to stay clean. So I'm inviting everyone to post their moments. The ones that remind them why it's so awesome to be clean. So please share your story so you can remind yourself, and maybe help someone whose struggling with making the decision of whether or not to get off drugs.

Thank you for reading my posts, and I want to wish everyone many moments like the one I mentioned above.

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"always be at war with your vices, and at peace with your neighbors."


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 9:14 am 
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Hi Squeaky,

Welcome to the forum!!

Isn't it nice to not have every spare second of your life consumed by getting, taking or thinking of ways to get pills?

I think my favorite thing about being clean is the fact that I actually want and do spend time with my family now. During the height of my pill use, my family had become a burden to me. The wife was wanting to go do this or that, my daughter had a baseball game or soccer game or some kinda function I was expected to attend, which I almost never did.

It's just nice to be there and in the moment now.

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 9:58 am 
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Thanks for the welcome Romeo!

It is crazy how much more free time we have now days. And to actually be able to spend that time with our families and really enjoy it is an amazing thing. I too noticed that I was becoming increasingly distant from my family the farther I got into my addiction.

Thanks for the reply!

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"always be at war with your vices, and at peace with your neighbors."


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:43 am 
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Hello Squeeky...LOL. Love that name!

I can remember posting something similar to this when I first started on Suboxone. I have forgotten alot of things along the way but that first day I spent with my kids at the park when I was first in recovery is very clear in my mind. It's been a long road, but all of it is worth it when you have moments like these. It's so sweet that we have been given a second chance to do things right for our kids huh?

Welcome to the forum Squeeky, I look forward to seeing your success as you continue in recovery. We all have to have something to inspire us and I can't think of anything more inspiring than those sweet smiles to make you realize what you could lose to this disease. Good luck!


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 11:00 am 
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Great topic.. Uno, I had NO idea what the recovery world was. I do today. It has given me a chance to see the world differently.many gifts have come from it. The best thing are the new people around me. In person or quite frankly on this forum. I'm new to the internet world also. This is the first an only forum I look at. Thank you for your s help. And Dr j! Recovery hero's, Sub saved my life. As many have said. Suboxone gave a chance to get back in the game of life. Hats off to some who jump and stay to tell the tall. Romeo, your amazing. Thanks for all you shair and do here. Always get much from you. This type of addiction is not something to just walk away from like many other drugs. At least for me. This will be a battle forever.I am thankful I found suboxone, my Dr, my groups, and life mostly is great because of all of it.... oh and if addicts want jump and see, I support that too.... every day something new pops up and makes me grateful...


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 3:41 pm 
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Thank you qhorsegal! I already feel so welcome here. I hope I'm here and clean for many years to come.

When I was at my lowest point during addiction I would look at my children and just cry because I wanted so much better for them. My mother was a drug addict and I always til myself my children would never have to go through that. I hurts to know I broke that promise to myself, but I'm so happy we have many more good years together (hopefully) than we had bad ones. The good thing is my kids are still young, they are 5 and 3, so hopefully they weren't affected too much. I always told myself when I was using that they had no idea. That's how I justified it to my self, but I know better kids are way more perceptive than we give them credit for.

Anyways, thanks guys for responding and making me feel so welcome here! I've been clean since my induction day, April 1st 2013!

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"always be at war with your vices, and at peace with your neighbors."


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 Post subject: Hello there,
PostPosted: Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:27 pm 
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I'm Queenie, Squeeky, I don't think I have had the pleasure. Nice to meet you. I am the grandmother of the forum. I am 70, a double amputee, which would give you an idea of why I got hooked on painkillers. Many surgeries and 2 amputations. I was in a narcotics wonderland. But it turnedd to hell.

I have had so many moments that made me so happy that I am on Suboxone. The times I don't have to worry about getting sick because I don't have pills. With no legs, where the heck am I going to get them from? The times I don't have to be afraid to get caught going through my families medicine cabinet and I pray for forgiveness for taking my deceased dad's pain pills and praying he wouldn't run out before refill time. I can see my grandson graduate from college last month with sober eyes and today is my other grandson's 18th. birthday, he received an honorary award in math at school and tonight I have money to give him for his birthday.

Those things mean so much. So to you and my other friends here that I love so much, keep up the good work. Don't give in, don't give up. Remember, when you feel tempted, think of the entire scenario. Where is the money going to come from? Do I want to be in bed sick as a dog? You know, play the whole tape, not just the good part.

Bless you. All my love,

Queenie


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 Post subject: Guilt
PostPosted: Thu Apr 25, 2013 3:18 pm 
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Nice to meet you too queenie! I too feel really guilty because I used to steal a lot of dilaudids from my father in law who had cancer. He passed away while I was waiting to get into see my sub doctor. I wish he would have been able to see me get clean.

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"always be at war with your vices, and at peace with your neighbors."


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