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PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:06 am 
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Well, I am now on my second day of 1.5 mg. I usually wait till day 3 to report anything, but I had some things I thought were worth mentioning. I really feel with every drop thus far, that I am slowly coming back to my normal self. I have been on sub since May 17 2011. My "normal" self is very active and constantly on the go. Today, I woke up, (sneezed 4 times in a row) and I was busy doing one thing or another all day long & even went for a nice walk this eve. I have very been lazy and not "in the mood" for much of anything for 6 months. I know tomorrow is day 3, and I usually have some uncomfortable symptoms starting close to day 3. I was on 2mg then 1.95, then down to 1.75 , now 1.5. I am feeling very little in the way of withdrawl. I feel because of my slow and small tapering. I DO get sore bones and joints. I'd say mostly because of a lack of exercize. (normally I walk or do yoga regularly) I AM extremely cranky, (but again I have teens who are constantly trying to pull some shiznit on me.) I do get some strange burning sensations in my legs at night starting on usually day 3 that last 4-5 days at the most.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I think I have stumbled upon a great awareness about SUBOXONE! FOR ME, I feel that being on suboxone has allowed me to look at my life, look at my friends, my choices, stay in my own little space and think. Without sub, I would have quit my DOC and started drinking, smoking a ton of weed, maybe some pills, have bad relationships, make bad decisions, continue to be a bad influence on my kids and really just continue on a path of self destruction. I have thought while going thru this, that sub is evil and the devil. I have thought that I would have done things differently if I "knew" what sub was like and how hard it is to get off. To be quite frank, it has NOT been all that hard. It has been tough AT TIMES, but for the most part it has really just given me TIME. TIME to think about MY LIFE. I have had a very LOW SEX DRIVE.. THANK GOD! or I would have been in another relationship w/ another looser. I have been very anti social. THANK GOD or I would have hung out w/ the worng people. I have gladly given up partying w/ "friends" and even dumping some of them for the goodness of myself my kids & our future. Now I have not jumped off sub and I plan to do it maybe in Dec. Maybe in Jan. Maybe on my b-day 1/17. I hope that if I do encounter some rough spots that I will come back to this VERY POST for some comfort. I have read so many of your posts out there and got some much needed comfort from them and I hope that I can do the same. Ok so Maybe I am a little emotional, but I have spent YEARS numb from using one thing or another and I welcome the tears the anger the laughter. THIS IS what life is. Just like a certain person has mentioned on this forum. Ya know, being on, and now weaning off this stuff has truly been positive for me, even though there have been times I was ANGRY for having to go thru this. So this is where I am at right now. Maybe more there will be more tomorrow. Until then, good night and good fight!


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:08 am 
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Pardon the typos...Cant go back and change it now.. (my perfectionist self is still lagging...Lol)


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:46 am 
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Good for you, with a positive attitude like the one you have there is no doubt in my mind that you will get thru this. Taking negatives and finding the positive in them is an extremely healthy and helpful way of thinking. The old saying what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger is so true and I am so happy you have been able to apply this to your taper. I think continuing with that way of thinking will give you a leg up on continued sobriety. I am very impressed!


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 Post subject: Hi
PostPosted: Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:27 pm 
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God bless you. I will keep you in positive thoughts. Good fight. I like how you sound when you write. Keep up the fight. Don't give in so you won't be a 69 yr. old grandmother, like me, still fighting on subs. Enjoy your life the clean way. Do it for your children too. Go out & enjoy life the way it should be, clearly & natural. Not in a fog.

Love to you, Queenie


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 Post subject: down to 1.25
PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 5:03 pm 
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Hello all, I hope everyone had a very nice holiday.
Just another update on my progress. I am now down to 1.25 mg. once daily. This is my 2nd day and I am feeling fine. I do have the same minor symptoms as usual, sore back, hot and cold sweats, kinda emotional. Up one minute and down the next. Pretty mild stuff. It does seem like since I have been on sub, I notice more in the way of "life challenges" I did not seem to notice all these challenges before. It really seems like everyone is having more challenges these days. I have just concluded that I am going to choose to be in acceptance, that there are going to be ups and downs no matter on sub or not.
I have been getting out and exercizing the past few days. It feels great. I have been noticing my appetite increasing mostly for sweets? Perhaps due to more physical activity and maybe even hormonal fluxuations.
I have a docctor appointment on thursday. I will ask for the 2 mg. strips. It has been a fun trying to cut and measure my 8mg strips into the proper size. They melt so fast, these tiny little pieces. I wonder if the 2mg. strips are the same size as the 8mg?
The holidays are upon us. It sure has came so fast. Where did all the time go? I am not feeling in the holiday spirit for some reason. I have however, started some holiday shopping so perhaps it is the tapering that has me feeling dull. I still notice myself getting more and more back to the girl I once was. I have been purposely avoiding getting involved in personal relationships. I think that I will feel more available once I am completely off sub. Does this make sence?
Well, I guess thats all for now. I will keep up with the updates and hopefully I will be stepping comfortably off sub soon.
Blessings to all


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 Post subject: great report
PostPosted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 7:06 pm 
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Sweet 16
I think you for keeping us posted with your tapering, it is a big help for us thinking about tapering soon. You are doing wonderful and keeping a great attitude along the way.
I'm CHEERING for you !!!!! You can do it, you are doing it and that is exciting!!!!! So you said you started at 8 mg when did you start tapering?? Did you go slow at the beginning or did you do a big drop in the beginning? I was thinking about starting to taper but feel I need more time. I still can not see a life with "NOTHING".

Again thanks for the report and I'm cheering for you and very Proud of you keep it up.

Mel :wink:

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Dreams are only Dreams unless you persue them


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 12:26 am 
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@mel, you are more than welcome & you will "know" when it is time for you to start to taper. It just hit me one day, honestly, just like that.
I was stable at 8 mg. I went down to 4 mg pretty much immediately once I decided to taper. I had never really recognised my feelings as being withdrawl symptoms so I do not remember if I experienced WD from 8 down to 4. I may have just thought "I don't feel good". I began to recognise being in WD once I started to taper consistantly. Then it was OOOOHHHH!!!! THIS is what WD is. When I was using my DOC, I had never gone very long without it. Just the 8 hrs. I slept and as soon as I would wake up, I was immediately using as if it was my morning cup of Jo. I had to because I would be "hurting" Thats what I called it. So now I recognise WD. I feel it everytime I taper. I am guessing pretty mild as I am able to function as usual, with just minimal discomfort. Ya know Mel, I have never had a life with NOTHING either. (starting at 12ish yrs.) NOW I am on sub. I do smoke weed sometiems (rarely anymore) Before sub and before I started using H again (after 15 or more years), I would drink, do a line here and there, smoke weed all day long, xannys, valium, pretty much whatever I could get my hands on. SO it will be a new day for me after sub. I do not plan to drink anymore as I found drinking to be the devil for me. Weed, not so much of an issue. IMO it helped me stay off the harder stuff. I am a legal medical MJ patient here in Ca. So I am not using illegally. Does that mean I am not clean? Probably, in many peoples minds. Do I care? Not so much, as I know for ME it is better than the alternative & I will not die from it. I will however attempt to stay away from hard stuff including pills. I know for each and every person on this forum, their battle is their OWN and I respect their individual choices. It is not easy in any way shape or form. I just think all we can do is our best and do no harm if at all possible. We are all just having a human experience and hopefully in the end, there are more good times than bad times.
Queenie & Breezie, thank you both for giving feedback. You gals have helped me on my path with your kind words and your own stories. You all are an inspiration and thats why I am here.
I do hope for everyone on here that they can find peace in their recovery, whatever that means for them. Blessings to all.....


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